The getting old curse – How are you dealing with it?

[GreenCurryorDie]

I can relate to this. Turning 61 and in a way still waiting for my life to begin. Don’t have it all but have a lot. Surprisingly healthy for the  lifestyle I’ve led. I think we’ll meet the end as we’ve led our lives. I’ve worked in nursing homes and marveled at the bravery I saw there. Contemplating death can be terrifying. What for me hurts more is the thought of leaving those you love to face life without you. Serious topic for a sunny morning here!

[Artisi]

1 minute ago, GreenCurryorDie said:

I can relate to this. Turning 61 and in a way still waiting for my life to begin. Don’t have it all but have a lot. Surprisingly healthy for the  lifestyle I’ve led. I think we’ll meet the end as we’ve led our lives. I’ve worked in nursing homes and marveled at the bravery I saw there. Contemplating death can be terrifying. What for me hurts more is the thought of leaving those you love to face life without you. Serious topic for a sunny morning here!

In full agreement about leaving those behind who you / they love and possibly depend on. As for dying, I don't think you will be aware of it. 

[Artisi]

2 hours ago, tomgreen said:

First a BIG thanks to every one , Ive read all your advice , suggestions and comments.

 

I am fairly convince that coming to permanently live in Thailand has in some way made me look older than my actual years and certainly added to my I’m getting old and on the downwards slope mind set. I have this funny feeling that if I had stayed back in my home country my over all physical appearance and mental state would have been in a far better condition than it is now here in Thailand .

 

Just to add I made a big mistake and originally came under the spell of Thailand and all I thought it had to offer , I sold every thing back home that I once owned and burnt all my bridges that would allow me to ever return home ????

 

 So how about you - do you feel that if you had remained back in your home country and not moved to Thailand , that in some way if you had not moved here you would now be in a better state of mind and possibly looking physically better than you do now residing in Thailand .

 

 

 

.

No 

[alan grice]

Its all a dream, so dont worry.!


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[allanos]

Tomorrow is promised to no one!

 

I have 4 adult children, and I make a point of telling all of them (individually) that I love them; when we are together, on the phone, or when messaging or emailing.  I do this because, when death comes

a-calling, I want them to be in no doubt about how I felt about them in life.  

[hugocnx]

13 hours ago, stephehr said:

When you write <deleted> like this it means you want people to talk to as you are lonely

Wait till you get lonely.

[overherebc]

Buy me a drink

Sing me a song

Take me as I am

Coz I can't stay long.

[hugocnx]

13 hours ago, stephehr said:

When you write <deleted> like this it means you want people to talk to as you are lonely

Wait till you get lonely.

[hugocnx]

Already 13 pages of bs (some nice answers though) and I pitty the OP for his sincere post.

Best of luck Tom.

 

[malibukid]

"it's better to burn out than to die", now i know what Neil was getting at

[oldhippy]

12 minutes ago, malibukid said:

"it's better to burn out than to die", now i know what Neil was getting at

It's better to burn out than to fade away - from my my hey hey, alledgedly a tribute to Johnny Rotten.

[giddyup]

1 hour ago, oldhippy said:

It's better to burn out than to fade away - from my my hey hey, alledgedly a tribute to Johnny Rotten.

From the Rust Never Sleeps album.

[Chazar]

2 hours ago, allanos said:

Tomorrow is promised to no one!

Its promised to the future.........then never  comes

[swissie]

That's funny. There is almost the same thread running under "The Golden Years" in the "Health" sub-forum.
Therefore, can't say much more here than I already said there.

Quite a few mental remedies have been offered here, ranging from "You are as old as you feel", "Look foreward, not backward", "Live for today" etc etc.
All fine and good, but all of this doesn't change the fact that the clock is ticking (and ticking faster the older one gets).

We can apply a fresh coat of paint over an old chair, but under the paint is still the same old chair as before.
I remain: Getting old "sucks". More so for males than females.

[MRToMRT]

4 hours ago, Artisi said:

......... As for dying, I don't think you will be aware of it. 

Sadly depends what precedes your death. Big C, infirm from stroke, cardiovascular disfunction, Alzheimers (fear component), infirmity. Sadly quite a few drawn out options that I hope we are all spared and we all pass in our sleep after a nice day out.

[Sandy Freckle]

6 hours ago, Artisi said:

So how about you - do you feel that if you had remained back in your home country and not moved to Thailand , that in some way if you had not moved here you would now be in a better state of mind and possibly looking physically better than you do now residing in Thailand .

I believe I have the best of both worlds..., I live debt free in a particularly pleasant part of S/W Oz..., and I choose to winter in LOS and other SEA countries. S/W OZ is compared to LOS and the rest of SEA, a pristine environment - when I return home again around Sept/Oct I can recover my health by getting active again. When I leave 'home' to head north to SEA every May, I usually 'short term' rent my place in country Oz(through an agency).., for 3 or 4 months while I'm away - it pays for my travels around SEA..., and then some. 
I will never sell the farm that keeps laying the golden egg !
Longevity - it helps if you stretch and breathe..., briskly move and breathe...., eat as close to fresh and living food as possible..., and breathe. Be mindful and good to yourself..., and don't p*** people off ! It's not quantum physics !

[Sandy Freckle]

15 hours ago, Krataiboy said:

Illusion is the first of all pleasures, according to Voltaire. In my eighties, I have finally come round to agreeing with him!

..., surely one of the last of all pleasures ?

[simon43]

We can apply a fresh coat of paint over an old chair, but under the paint is still the same old chair as before.

 

That's why it's important to lovingly look after your 'old chair', to make sure it stays looking like this:

 

Many older expats in Thailand haven't looked after themselves and look more like this!:

 

 

[Dumbastheycome]

Tom, given all the positives you state you possess then perhaps your "depression" itself needs some investigation as a possible clinical state?

[Lacessit]

12 hours ago, tomgreen said:

 

 

 So how about you - do you feel that if you had remained back in your home country and not moved to Thailand , that in some way if you had not moved here you would now be in a better state of mind and possibly looking physically better than you do now residing in Thailand .

 

 

 

.

No way Jose. I would be bored and depressed in Australia, deprived of accommodating female company, and dining off bowl noodles.

Physically, I am 90 - 92 kg here. I balloon out to 100kg after any length of time in Oz. Play golf and swim. I'd have to take out loans to play golf in Oz.

Yes, Thailand is corrupt. I'd still much rather spend my retirement funds here, than give them to the sanctimonious weasels in charge in Oz.

[Lacessit]

15 hours ago, KKr said:

you mean you do not approve of my weekend in Pattaya outfit?
Just to you know, I got many smiles .

A leading contender for fashion statement of the month, if not the year.......

Unfortunately, you may lose points for colour co-ordination.

[Nemises]

Don't let the old man in, I wanna leave this alone
Can't leave it up to him, he's knocking on my door
And I knew all of my life, that someday it would end
Get up and go outside, don't let the old man in

Many moons I have lived
My body's weathered and worn
Ask yourself how old you'd be
If you didn't know the day you were born

Try to love on your wife
And stay close to your friends
Toast each sundown with wine
Don't let the old man in

Many moons I have lived
My body's weathered and worn
Ask yourself how old you'd be
If you didn't know the day you were born

When he rides up on his horse
And you feel that cold bitter wind
Look out your window and smile
Don't let the old man in

Look out your window and smile
Don't let the old man in

 

 

[tomgreen]

1 hour ago, Dumbastheycome said:

Tom, given all the positives you state you possess then perhaps your "depression" itself needs some investigation as a possible clinical state?

Thats a good point , I’m fairly sure that my thoughts about getting old and my getting stressed out at the drop of a hat are some what related . I am currently seeking counseling for the problem.   Funnily when I now watch any very old films I keep thinking to my self all these actors are dead and then that thought seems to trigger my thoughts about getting old and dying ????

[steven100]

1 minute ago, tomgreen said:

Thats a good point , I’m fairly sure that my thoughts about getting old and my getting stressed out at the drop of a hat are some what related . I am currently seeking counseling for the problem.   Funnily when I now watch any very old films I keep thinking to my self all these actors are dead and then that thought seems to trigger my thoughts about getting old and dying ????

I would suggest that you keep busy, find activities to do daily, find chores to attend to, go to the cinema, go to see friends, start a hobby you've always liked, it's just a matter of not having any time to think about being old.

[tomgreen]

Although my Thai wife speaks fairly good English I have not really talked to her much about my thoughts on getting old / the downward slope . But on the odd occasions when I have brought up the subject, her reaction like many times is to say , you think too much . I then reply that us British are born thinkers and forward planners and its some thing I can’t stop doing , its just a genetic curse ???? 

 

Some times I wonder what it would have been like to have been born a Thai , where thinking too much and constantly planning ahead and worrying appears not to be part of their normal brain function . My wife also loves to use to use a phrase at the drop of a hat  ( that tends to infuriate me ) and that is ….  My pen rai ????

 

In your opinion how much does you wife / partners support and understanding play in your attempt to stay positive about getting old .  

 

 

 

.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, KKr said:

suggest you better clarify who can make the demand ???? .

Seriously? Obviously it's the person wanting the pill, and also with an end of life directive in case of being unable to ask due to disease or accident. I have a do not resuscitate order that everyone that needs to know is aware of, but at the moment they won't actually kill me if I am in a coma- I want that to change.

All good though- when had enough, have a big goodbye party, spend all the money and take the pill.

[ravip]

[thaibeachlovers]

8 minutes ago, steven100 said:

I would suggest that you keep busy, find activities to do daily, find chores to attend to, go to the cinema, go to see friends, start a hobby you've always liked, it's just a matter of not having any time to think about being old.

That's why I like my DVDs. When I'm watching them I'm not thinking about my life. It's not good to think too much when the die is cast and unchangeable.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

No way Jose. I would be bored and depressed in Australia, deprived of accommodating female company, and dining off bowl noodles.

Physically, I am 90 - 92 kg here. I balloon out to 100kg after any length of time in Oz. Play golf and swim. I'd have to take out loans to play golf in Oz.

Yes, Thailand is corrupt. I'd still much rather spend my retirement funds here, than give them to the sanctimonious weasels in charge in Oz.

WELL SAID.

Anyone that says a western country is better than LOS is obviously past wanting to play with lovely girls.

Girls where I am only look disdainfully at me because they are ageist. In LOS they are friendly- even if it's only the money, it sure beats going to bed alone every night.

[tomgreen]

16 minutes ago, steven100 said:

I would suggest that you keep busy, find activities to do daily, find chores to attend to, go to the cinema, go to see friends, start a hobby you've always liked, it's just a matter of not having any time to think about being old.

Thanks for the advice , I do try and keep busy and have a few hobby's but I made the mistake of building my house in a fairly rural location and its a 140km round trip to the nearest large city so going to the cinema or other activities other than rural country side one’s  are not an easy daily option.  

 

Add to that where I live there are very few foreigners around and the ones that I come across locally , seem to want to keep themselves to themselves . So most of my friends are online friends.

 

 

 

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