plague humor

[bendejo]

Of course, this pandemic is no laughing matter, but we all could use a laugh pertinent to the problem to help break the spell.

 

Belgium Health Minister puts ban on non-essential sexual activities of persons 3 or greater in indoor areas

 

Note "non-essential."

 

This a parody site where their motto is "Where facts don't matter."

Let me be clear, the entire site is a joke, not real, fake.  (I'm anticipating at least one of these terms will translate properly.)

 

 

[Lacessit]

The Belgian Health Minister does not look like she has to concern herself with these scenarios personally.

[sezze]

12 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

The Belgian Health Minister does not look like she has to concern herself with these scenarios personally.

And she is a doctor also ... no joke .

 

I do find the original story funny , but yes completely made up ( i am from Belgium ) .

[rvaviator]

555555 .... I choked on my coffee ... They even outdo the Sun in world news ...

 

 

Only in Belgium ???? ... They do have great fries, with mayo ....  Good to have a laugh.

[Dumbastheycome]

Clever  page ! lol. Right  down to the scrolling  headlines at the  top of page.

[Crossy]

Yup, some stunningly good "news stories" on there. At least this time I missed my keyboard with the spat tea, but my mouse may well need CPR ????

 

[cmsally]

My Aussie friends in self isolation keep them coming.

 

[Nyezhov]

Oh my god I love magpied. We used "crow" equivalently.

[Lacessit]

2 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

Oh my god I love magpied. We used "crow" equivalently.

In the nesting season in Oz, magpies swoop passersby and occasionally inflict head and neck injuries.  You have been warned.

We also use "stone the crows" as an expression of exasperation.

As in, stone the crows, when is this bloody Rona going to nicky woop.

Edited March 30, 2020 by Lacessit

[Nyezhov]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

In the nesting season in Oz, magpies swoop passersby and occasionally inflict head and neck injuries.  You have been warned.

Magpie? We have skeeters in Alaska bigger than magpies. You want bird damage, aggravate a raven

[Lacessit]

1 minute ago, Nyezhov said:

Magpie? We have skeeters in Alaska bigger than magpies. You want bird damage, aggravate a raven

You've obviously never played golf at Newcastle Golf Club. Get off line, and mossies there will pick you up and wedge you into the tree tops as a food larder. They have to be quick, to beat the snakes on the forest floor.

You want to see angry, mess with a king brown or taipan.

[Nyezhov]

7 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

You want to see angry, mess with a king brown or taipan.

Dude I dont do snakes, too small to shoot, give me a charging Griz anyday.

8 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

You've obviously never played golf at Newcastle Golf Club

No I havent, but neither do I chose elective enemas at a spa.

[Grumpy John]

3 hours ago, cmsally said:

My Aussie friends in self isolation keep them coming.

 

A Magpie is a lookout for an illegal 2-up game. 

[Lacessit]

2 hours ago, Grumpy John said:

A Magpie is a lookout for an illegal 2-up game. 

It's also the name of a slightly deranged football team and its even more deranged supporters.

[Lacessit]

3 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

Dude I dont do snakes, too small to shoot, give me a charging Griz anyday.

No I havent, but neither do I chose elective enemas at a spa.

Think of a king brown as a horizontal grizzly. Up to 3 metres long, body can be as thick as a body-builder's forearm. You'd be aiming lickety-split if one came for you.

Pass on the enemas.

[Nyezhov]

7 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

It's also the name of a slightly deranged football team and its even more deranged supporters.

Like my boys at Millwall?

 

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

Think of a king brown as a horizontal grizzly. Up to 3 metres long, body can be as thick as a body-builder's forearm. You'd be aiming lickety-split if one came for you.

Id have a shotgun then.

 

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

Pass on the enemas.

why? You have already posted pics of your toe grooming, you are in another place talking about your hairy bat ears..... go for it! Dont hold back. What else ya got to do? The result is pretty much the same as your golf game innit?

 

Hey I got an idea, why dont you take your 9 iron to the Cambo border, Ill wait on the other side. Then I can run back and forth and you can try to hit me! We could give the balls to the border dudes for their trouble. Get us some fresh air, little road trip, the 50 meters you can flub one is OK social distancing, yes?

[Lacessit]

2 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

 

Hey I got an idea, why dont you take your 9 iron to the Cambo border, Ill wait on the other side. Then I can run back and forth and you can try to hit me! We could give the balls to the border dudes for their trouble. Get us some fresh air, little road trip, the 50 meters you can flub one is OK social distancing, yes?

You haven't seen rabid until you encounter a Collingwood fan. There's a joke about the girl supporter who pulled the train on the team, then was disappointed the reserves were playing away.

 

I used to practice golf at lunchtime near the company offices. A couple of magpies ( real ones ) used to try to pick up the balls I hit, might have thought they were eggs. I'd land a ball on one of them about 5% of the time. Given your girth, I could not miss. It would be like you going after a barn with a shotgun.

[Nyezhov]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

Given your girth, I could not miss. It would be like you going after a barn with a shotgun.

$20 for each one I catch then. Im going to the pool, the cool crisp pool, just luxuriate in the water, ah yes...... ????

[Lacessit]

3 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

$20 for each one I catch then. Im going to the pool, the cool crisp pool, just luxuriate in the water, ah yes...... ????

B##st##d. $20 if you can catch them with your mouth, how's that for easy?

[lamyai3]

5 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

Oh my god I love magpied. We used "crow" equivalently.

All discussion of crows should be in the corvid-19 forum. 

[Eindhoven]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KPbJ0-DxTc