OPINION: A conversation between two viruses

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OPINION

A conversation between two viruses 
By Warapatr Todhanakasem, PhD

Special to The Nation

 

Warapatr Todhanakasem, PhD

 

Corona, a virus floating in the heat of Bangkok, spots another virus – a different species – resting in the front yard of a nice house. So he floats over to greet it.

 

Corona: Hi, I’m Corona. I recently arrived in this country. Looks like you’re a big shot here. (Bows in respect). 

 

Corrupticavirus: Hi, I'm Corruptica. Where do you come from and what are you doing here?

 

Corona: I'm from China and am on a world trip. China and Thailand are brothers, and since Chinese people love coming to Thailand, I’ve decided to come and check it out too. 

 

Corruptica: Oh, I see. I’ve heard that you’ve scared away the Chinese. They haven’t been visiting Thailand recently. So, where are you staying? 

Corona: I love living with the people here. My friends and I usually find shelter in their lungs. It’s warm there and there’s plenty of food. By the way, what do you do?

 

Corruptica: I live and work with humans too. Most of the people I live with are powerful and they live well.

 

Corona: That’s good, but most of the people I live with are different. They usually have high temperature, can’t eat and can’t breathe easily. I live with some for several months, while some kick me out after two weeks. So, how do you make the people around you so rich?

 

Corruptica: Oh, well, I just creep into their brains and give them ideas about becoming rich by taking kickbacks. It’s really not a difficult job. Plus, when these people become rich, they never abandon me. In fact, my ancestors have been living here for generations. So, how long do you intend to live here?

 

Corona: My friend, I want to live here for a long time. This town is so nice, but good people want to drive me out. They have mobilised doctors and nurses to fight me, and these people are far stronger than me. 

 

Corruptica: Do you know that some good people are also working on driving me out? Some have even set up organisations to get rid of me, but even though they’ve been working on this challenge for a long time, they’ve never actually succeeded. This is because most people here are still weak. I have been flourishing in the brains of some big shots, who are enjoying a good life with loads of power. So they always take good care of me and never let me down. As for those who want to get rid of me and my people, they continue to weaken and lead poor lives. 

 

Corona: You're so smart and fortunate. I am very jealous of you. Unlike you, my friends and I continue to struggle. Those who have gone to the West are facing fierce opposition. Looks like we will be killed off soon… I’m scared. 

 

Corruptica: Corona, if you want to live a long happy life like me, you must hurry up and mutate into a corrupticavirus! If you don’t rush, your species may go extinct. 

 

Corona: What an interesting idea! What must I do to become a corrupticavirus like you?

 

Corruptica: First, you must file a mutation petition. Each form costs Bt4,000, but luckily for you I have one handy, though it will cost you Bt6,000.

Corona: Okay, my friend. I’ll pay to survive. What next?

 

Corona: Fill out the form and then go to the Department of Mutation. But it’s usually very crowded there and you’ll have to pay extra for shortcuts. But if you give me Bt8,000, I’ll complete the process for you. 

 

Corona: So expensive …

 

Corruptica: Not at all. Do you know my boss and I have secured a big mutation quota from this department? If you go in on your own, you will end up queuing for a long time. And who knows, maybe the mutation quota will have been used up by the time you get to the top of the queue. Then you won’t be able to mutate and will have to wait till your next life. 

 

Corona: Yeah, I get the picture. But the whole thing is so expensive …

 

Corruptica: Listen, Corona, petition forms are rare and submission queues are very long. Besides, all the migration quota belongs to us. So you’d better pay up, son!

 

(End scene.)

 

Sequel: One week later, coronavirus completes its mutation process, chooses to specialise in “kickback designing” and lives happily ever after in the land of corrupticavirus.

 

Warapatr Todhanakasem is President of the Institute of Research and Development for Public Enterprises. 

 

Source: https://www.nationthailand.com/opinion/30386150

 

-- © Copyright The Nation Thailand 2020-04-17

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[Chazar]

corruption  for  3 year old's  week  is  it?

[RichardColeman]

3rd virus joins conversation.

 

HIV : Your both wimps

[AussieBob18]

Dont tell me - both those viruses came from China - right??

[UbonThani]

24 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

3rd virus joins conversation.

 

HIV : Your both wimps

Heart disease joins in - you 3 are big girls blouses

[Somtamnication]

Virus 1: You suck

Virus 2: You suck, too

[RJRS1301]

2 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

3rd virus joins conversation.

 

HIV : Your both wimps

Herpes (virus) the gift that keeps on giving

[Venom]

Oh, so then it's possible to cut through the red tape, move to the front of the line and get preferential VIP service with regards to government handouts if you are willing to pay a bribe? ????

[Rimmer]

A post has been removed:

 

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[marko kok prong]

4th virus joins in,i am Bubonicus,king of all bow before me and see the devestation i have wrought through the ages,you guys are pathetic compared to me.

[DrTuner]

9 hours ago, Chazar said:

corruption  for  3 year old's  week  is  it?

They'd still have to make a cartoon out of it if they want Thais to read it. Phuad hua.

[timendres]

The situation is 100% under control. Further evidence of the talent pool ensuring that.

[lamyai3]

This sounds a bit too much like Taptim's old columns in the same rag. Here he is a few years ago, wheeling out a conversation between Corruption and Democracy:

 

https://www.nationthailand.com/opinion/30252823