If You Are Scottish.

[Jockstar]

>>You know you are a true Scot if...........

>>1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan,

>>Milngavie,Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

>>2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

>>3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.

>>4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

>>5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

>>6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories -pure class!

>>7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

>>8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in

>>yer ain family.

>>9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

>>10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

>>11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

>>12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day

>>date

>>13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the

>>Church/Chapel.

>>14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n

>>chips,irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

>>15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

>>16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

>>17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

>>18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.

>>19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

>>

>>how's it hingin

>>clatty

>>boggin

>>cludgie

>>pished

>>get it up ye

>>wee beasties

>>erse bandit

>>amurny

>>away an bile yer heid

>>peely-wally

>>humphey backit

>>baw bag

>>dubble nugget

>>And finally......

>>A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just

>>came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse

>>aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then

>>asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist

>>ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

[suegha]

I am not a Scot, I'm Irish (I suppose we're all Celts) and I understrand all of it! Well done, very funny!

[sbk]

Well, my grandfather was not Scottish but he could swear for 10 minutes without saying the same word twice.

I always thought that was quite an accomplishment

But then, my mother's side is Scottish, so maybe that explains it all

[Rykbanlor]

A lass in a bakers in Aberdeen asks; " Is that a cake or a meringue " ( or am I wrang ).

[suegha]

A lass in a bakers in Aberdeen asks; " Is that a cake or a meringue " ( or am I wrang ).

Oh you ruined it! It should have read - A lass in a bakers in Aberdeen asks; " Is that a cake or a meringue" to which the baker replies - "No, you're right, it's a cake!"

Boom boom.

[Rykbanlor]

whoops

[eek]

AHAHA love it. Brings back some childhood memories

" ... and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals" too right!

Edited May 19, 2007 by eek