Had a vivid conversation last night with a group of about 10 expat friends at a relaxing restaurant down in Silom that ended up going all over the place. The group was mostly men, but a few women as well. Basically all people who live and work here and have some sort of busy life, as opposed to many foreigners here who no longer work and end up staying home with their own lifestyle comforts in some form of isolation. After we finished the meal and had a few drinks, what started as a simple chat ended up covering a lot more ground than anyone expected. It began with someone talking about how they had switched partners again, another younger local girl like the previous one they were with, and how relationships here all feel kind of the same, but completely different compared to back in the West. That led into a discussion about how men are expected to act in society now, with all the political correctness compared to before, and whether those expectations have actually changed or if people just see things differently as they get older. At one point one of the guys casually mentioned he prefers ladyboys. No one really reacted surprised or negatively to it, but it did shift the conversation into a wider discussion about what people are actually looking for versus what they thought they wanted before they discovered there is a third option. From there it drifted into the usual comparisons between life here and back home. A couple of people were very clear about why they left and why they think things are better here. Others were less certain or convinced, and a few even said they might leave within the next year or two, saying it is just a different set of trade offs and adjustments here rather than a real upgrade to back home. That then moved into whether things back home have actually gone downhill or if it just looks that way after being away for a while. People brought up the usual points about crime, poverty, immigration, drugs, violence, racial disagreements and general changes in society, but again there was no real conclusions. What stood out was how quickly the conversation moved back and forth and back again between all these topics, and how everyone seemed set in their views from the onset, even though they were coming at it from completely different angles and experiences. It made me wonder whether people really change their perspective living here over time, or if most of us just settle into a position and then build everything else around it. Not saying there is a right answer, just something I noticed.
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