Narcissism?

[GammaGlobulin]

EVEN worse than Paranoia, must be the inability to overcome one’s natural tendencies toward rampant Narcissism.

 

Personally, I have been fighting my excessive narcissistic proclivities throughout my life because, simply, I wish to become a better Human Being, a person who shows more caring for my fellows, especially on various Thailand forums, than I care about my own pointless aggrandizement. (This includes making too many stupid posts, which, everybody knows is very unhelpful to our group.)

 

What I am saying is that, for those of us who may sway too far toward acting in ways that most people might consider narcissistic behavior, there is always hope for us.

 

And so, my question is, do most of us bend over backwards to rectify our unhelpful narcissistic bent, when we bend too far in that way?

 

Or, do we glory in our narcissism without feeling empathy and crucial caring for others during these tough days?

 

Surely, the only way to survive these days, with sanity intact, is to hang together.

Do you think that I might be joking?

 

No, I am not.

 

In fact, not a day goes by that I do not think about this conundrum.

 

Just read the News on this premier forum, and you must admit that there are so many who have it tougher than we.

 

I hope that I am not such a narcissist that I do not put others’ needs before my own.

 

One might mistakenly think, just from reading this forum, that almost all contributors do not have a heart.  BUT they do. At least, the good posters do.

 

NARCISSISM is NOT bad, and it is actually GOOD, and important, even.

 

Still, when you get too much of a good thing, then the result is bad.

 

So, how much of a narcissist are you?

 

Have you been able to achieve a happy medium in your life?

 

And, do you express this healthy happy medium in all your virtual-world postings, and, as well, in your life and social interactions, as well?

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Personally, I have been fighting my excessive narcissistic proclivities throughout my life because, simply, I wish to become a better Human Being,

Why?

What benefit does being a better human being get you?

Caring for others just makes you a doormat for people to wipe their feet on.

Edited August 19, 2021 by BritManToo

[GammaGlobulin]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Why?

What benefit does being a better human being get you?

Caring for others just makes you a doormat for people to wipe their feet on.

I hope that you have not fallen into the camp which prides itself in Machiavellianism.

These days, falling down is just too easy.

Keep your chin up, hold your head high.

Extend your helping hand.

You will benefit more than you know.

 

(At least, most people in CM know this. And, so do you.)

Edited August 19, 2021 by GammaGlobulin

[GammaGlobulin]

What I mean is:

 

A few days ago, I watched two guys fall to Earth from a C-17. And I thought to myself....what is this world coming to when we seem unwilling to care as much as we should care about men in desperate circumstances.

 

And, as well, just thinking about our adopted homeland, Thailand, then....should we not do our best to become less concerned and preoccupied with our own wellbeing, and, instead, devote more effort toward caring about our fellows, here where we live? Can we not just become kinder and gentler and more thoughtful?

 

I think so.

 

I think Bowie would approve of our becoming less preoccupied with our own self, and more concerned with others welfare.

Such a thing can only provide us with less angst and more feelings of acceptance concerning our present collective predicament.

 

 

 

[Kwasaki]

10 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

I watched two guys fall to Earth from a C-17. And I thought to myself....

So did I and thought why on earth would they do such a stupid thing.

[GammaGlobulin]

9 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

So did I and thought why on earth would they do such a stupid thing.

Desperation, and a spur-of-the-moment reckless decision that got out of hand faster than these two guys ever imagined that it would.

 

They seemed to have been "caught up in the moment".  Their excitement led to their falling from the sky for the world to see.

 

THE MEN WHO FELL TO EARTH.

 

This is a moment in history that the World will not soon forget.

 

Edited August 19, 2021 by GammaGlobulin

[Kwasaki]

17 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

This is a moment in history that the World will not soon forget.

Give it a week and it will be forgotten along with all the Brits soldiers that killed for nothing.

[GammaGlobulin]

Just now, Kwasaki said:

Give it a week and it will be forgotten along with all the Brits soldiers that killed for nothing.

No.

It will NOT be forgotten.

I will NOT forget.

Neither will you.

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Just read the News on this premier forum, and you must admit that there are so many who have it tougher than we.

I think you have to be very careful about these kinds of arguments, because often the people who use them are simply looking to manipulate you and enrich themselves, as is so often the case these days.  As soon as people realised that through making claims of being "oppressed" they could manipulate people in a better position than them into helping them in some way, the flood gates opened.

 

Don't get me wrong, we should all give to the needy where we have something we can give, be it time, money or care, but most people aren't landed gentry and for every person worse off than you, there will probably be someone better off than you as well.

 

All I'm saying is to be wary of anyone who tries to guilt you for your position in life and wants you to give something up.  Think carefully about where their motivations lay and whether they have a point as to how "privileged" you are, or if they are just trying to take advantage of you.

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, GammaGlobulin said:

A few days ago, I watched two guys fall to Earth from a C-17. And I thought to myself....what is this world coming to when we seem unwilling to care as much as we should care about men in desperate circumstances.

People care, there just isn't much that can be done about it.

 

Caring won't get you very far when there are such deep rooted problems, going back over hundreds of years and involving multiple countries, that they are effectively unsolvable.

[GammaGlobulin]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

I think you have to be very careful about these kinds of arguments, because often the people who use them are simply looking to manipulate you and enrich themselves, as is so often the case these days.  As soon as people realised that through making claims of being "oppressed" they could manipulate people in a better position than them into helping them in some way, the flood gates opened.

 

Don't get me wrong, we should all give to the needy where we have something we can give, be it time, money or care, but most people aren't landed gentry and for every person worse off than you, there will probably be someone better off than you as well.

 

All I'm saying is to be wary of anyone who tries to guilt you for your position in life and wants you to give something up.  Think carefully about where their motivations lay and whether they have a point as to how "privileged" you are, or if they are just trying to take advantage of you.

Finally, ....  A well-written....and thoughtful post.  (Especially, very well written.)

 

Note:  Easy to tell, just from one paragraph of yours, that your writing is more schooled, and just better than mine. Nice.

Edited August 19, 2021 by GammaGlobulin

[scubascuba3]

Maybe you are a bit too preoccupied, as for being a narcissist, I've only noticed a few on here, you not being one of them

[zzaa09]

Might a comfortable and humble misanthropic manner qualify? 

 

????

[GammaGlobulin]

33 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Maybe you are a bit too preoccupied, as for being a narcissist, I've only noticed a few on here, you not being one of them

Anyone who worries overly much about being a narcissist might not fall into the category.

 

 So, then, which writer, here or there, might you identify as the epitome of the narcissistic personality?

 

Fitzgerald? 

 

Who?

[Fat is a type of crazy]

I think this topic is mixing two concepts that can be similar but not the same.

You can be narcissistic, i.e.  admire oneself and one's appearance, and still be aware and sympathetic and helpful to others e.g. Hollywood stars helping in Haiti might fit this category where you might say there is a mixed motive. 

On the other hand in terms of caring for others you might have, at one extreme,  psychopaths, and at the other, people who are just cold, apathetic, uncaring, cold and just indifferent.

I think it comes down to the nurture nature thing.

Some are just born cold. I think most people feel good  helping others but some don't. 

On the nurture side it can relate to how  successful you have been in the past at fulfilling your objectives of helping others and what treatment you got in return. You may lose confidence in what you can achieve. You may have helped others and they burned you in return.

I think in the end we are all after something which is a bit greedy which is to feel good.

I enjoyed the works of Ayn Rand, not because of the right wing politics, but because she reminds us that the final motivation is to benefit ourselves even if it is just to feel good. Selfishness can be a good thing if you can believe in yourself and that you are a good person. That could be getting a bit narcissistic though. 

  

[Kwasaki]

9 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

No.

It will NOT be forgotten.

I will NOT forget.

Neither will you.

A bold statement to make about me someone you don't know. 

I won't forget service men right my Dad was one. 

Didn't know about Afgans falling of aeroplanes until I heard it on LBC UK and had forgotten until you meantion it here. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/20/2021 at 1:42 AM, GammaGlobulin said:

I hope that I am not such a narcissist that I do not put others’ needs before my own.

 

 

I used to always put other's needs before my own till I realised that I was being exploited and abused for it.

Sadly, such a realisation came too late to save me from the consequences of my foolishness.

 

If I were to have a gravestone it would have inscribed on it "Here lies a fool that thought others were worth putting before himself"

Edited August 22, 2021 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/20/2021 at 3:12 AM, Kwasaki said:

Give it a week and it will be forgotten along with all the Brits soldiers that killed for nothing.

I hope you meant "all the Brits soldiers that WERE killed for nothing".

I certainly feel for the families of the guys that died over the last 20 years, apparently for nothing, but agree that in a week it will all be old news and forgotten by most.

[Doctor Tom]

On 8/19/2021 at 8:42 PM, GammaGlobulin said:

In fact, not a day goes by that I do not think about this conundrum.

you need to get laid mate 

[Kwasaki]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I hope you meant "all the Brits soldiers that WERE killed for nothing".

I certainly feel for the families of the guys that died over the last 20 years, apparently for nothing, but agree that in a week it will all be old news and forgotten by most.

So difficult to answer on Afganistan I've worked with Afgans, they have more tribes in there country than the indigenous Indian people of North America before a shameful thing happened just another horror on the way. 

[Sparktrader]

On 8/19/2021 at 11:50 PM, BritManToo said:

Why?

What benefit does being a better human being get you?

Caring for others just makes you a doormat for people to wipe their feet on.

True. I tried being nice. Got ripped off twice. Never again. Never trust a woman. Never trust a boss. The only person you can trust is your father. Everyone else nope. Its sad the world is like that but it is unless you are lucky.

[Sparktrader]

9 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I used to always put other's needs before my own till I realised that I was being exploited and abused for it.

Sadly, such a realisation came too late to save me from the consequences of my foolishness.

 

If I were to have a gravestone it would have inscribed on it "Here lies a fool that thought others were worth putting before himself"

Yes I learnt that. My father is the only human I trust. 

[Sparktrader]

On 8/20/2021 at 9:02 AM, Fat is a type of crazy said:

I think this topic is mixing two concepts that can be similar but not the same.

You can be narcissistic, i.e.  admire oneself and one's appearance, and still be aware and sympathetic and helpful to others e.g. Hollywood stars helping in Haiti might fit this category where you might say there is a mixed motive. 

On the other hand in terms of caring for others you might have, at one extreme,  psychopaths, and at the other, people who are just cold, apathetic, uncaring, cold and just indifferent.

I think it comes down to the nurture nature thing.

Some are just born cold. I think most people feel good  helping others but some don't. 

On the nurture side it can relate to how  successful you have been in the past at fulfilling your objectives of helping others and what treatment you got in return. You may lose confidence in what you can achieve. You may have helped others and they burned you in return.

I think in the end we are all after something which is a bit greedy which is to feel good.

I enjoyed the works of Ayn Rand, not because of the right wing politics, but because she reminds us that the final motivation is to benefit ourselves even if it is just to feel good. Selfishness can be a good thing if you can believe in yourself and that you are a good person. That could be getting a bit narcissistic though. 

  

Hollywood stars have $100m. Giving away $1m is nothing.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

2 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

Hollywood stars have $100m. Giving away $1m is nothing.

Still. Better than nothing and if they give fans probably tend to give too. 

[1FinickyOne]

12 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

The only person you can trust is your father.

definitely not true for me... it was my mother that would have sacrificed everything/anything...

 

my father actually baited me on and then demean my brother and I so he would look good in comparison... 

[1FinickyOne]

On 8/19/2021 at 8:50 PM, BritManToo said:

What benefit does being a better human being get you?

on a selfish level, when you do good things for people, you feel better about yourself... it's not that complicated.

[Sparktrader]

Just now, 1FinickyOne said:

definitely not true for me... it was my mother that would have sacrificed everything/anything...

 

my father actually baited me on and then demean my brother and I so he would look good in comparison... 

Opposite for me. My mother was a b itch. I helped her a lot. Saved her life. Saved her from being ruined financially. All I got was 1 thanks then she helped others who did nothing. Attacked my mrs. If she was alive today I wouldnt bother talking to her.

 

After she died it was only my father who did the right thing. Everyone else was up to no good.

[1FinickyOne]

16 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

True. I tried being nice. Got ripped off twice.

You can only get ripped off if you expect something in return... when I give it is in affordable amounts and I expect nothing from it... and I do not give gifts that require a future commitment,,, 

[tonray]

On 8/19/2021 at 8:42 PM, GammaGlobulin said:

In fact, not a day goes by that I do not think about this conundrum.

 

9 hours ago, Doctor Tom said:

you need to get laid mate 

He said conundrum not condom

[BritManToo]

7 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

on a selfish level, when you do good things for people, you feel better about yourself... it's not that complicated.

I fell good without doing stuff for other people.