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Just met Thai ex wife for lunch


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1 hour ago, Bigz said:

Chinese in Thailand are comparable to Jewish people in the western world in my opinion. They are usually fairly wealthy, well educated, most of them upper middle class and quite successful. Most I met are running trading businesses, gold shops or doctors/dentists. Of course some are not wealthy but this is the public opinion anyway. (Same as Jews in Europe) Naturally the majority of Thais won't like them just like the majority of Europeans secretly (sometimes openly) dislike Jews. Personally I find both Thai-Chinese and Jews nice people.

I can't comment on the similarity with jews although the parallel has been made to me by some rich Thai Chinese.  Many Chinese in Thailand are dirt poor.  Few are still Chinese rather than Thai-Chinese.  If you are inerested in Thai views of Chinese and vice vers read Letters from Thailand.  It is an older book first published in 1969, somewhat repetitive.  One of the interesting aspects is how the Chinese and Thais now are so different from then.    

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16 minutes ago, thaibook said:

I can't comment on the similarity with jews although the parallel has been made to me by some rich Thai Chinese.  Many Chinese in Thailand are dirt poor.  Few are still Chinese rather than Thai-Chinese.  If you are inerested in Thai views of Chinese and vice vers read Letters from Thailand.  It is an older book first published in 1969, somewhat repetitive.  One of the interesting aspects is how the Chinese and Thais now are so different from then.    

Interesting thoughts although the book you mentioned is rather old and probably won't truly reflect the views of the Thais and Thai-Chinese in the 21 st century. My comment was only from personal experience from both Europe and Thailand and may be different elsewhere. In my area (Buriram) almost all Thai-Chinese are much better educated and better off than the local Khmer, Lao communities hence the general population rather negative about them (of course strictly behind their backs). Interestingly in many areas in Europe the Jewish communities are in a similar position even the traditional professions are identical (trade, jewelry, money lending, doctors, lawyers, dentists). Certainly many Chinese and Jews are dirt poor but the general rural public think they all are rich and made their fortunes on the poor people's back. The Chinese community in my area well aware of this and although they don't feel threatened their lands are all concrete walled and gated which is an interesting sight in a place where hardly anyone have any fences around their land. Also a Chinese marrying a local Khmer or Lao is almost unheard of.

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On 11/25/2021 at 7:29 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Imagine your ex just dumped you. And then you find out she did it because of a Chinese guy. I guess that would hurt. 😉 

Or perhaps you should have told her you've had a Chinese boyfriend for 2 years.

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My only question is: Why do you care so much about how your ex. wife thinks and reacts, to an extent that you have to open a thread about it on ThaiVisa? Sounds to me that you have second thoughts.

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17 hours ago, Bigz said:

Interesting thoughts although the book you mentioned is rather old and probably won't truly reflect the views of the Thais and Thai-Chinese in the 21 st century. My comment was only from personal experience from both Europe and Thailand and may be different elsewhere. In my area (Buriram) almost all Thai-Chinese are much better educated and better off than the local Khmer, Lao communities hence the general population rather negative about them (of course strictly behind their backs). Interestingly in many areas in Europe the Jewish communities are in a similar position even the traditional professions are identical (trade, jewelry, money lending, doctors, lawyers, dentists). Certainly many Chinese and Jews are dirt poor but the general rural public think they all are rich and made their fortunes on the poor people's back. The Chinese community in my area well aware of this and although they don't feel threatened their lands are all concrete walled and gated which is an interesting sight in a place where hardly anyone have any fences around their land. Also a Chinese marrying a local Khmer or Lao is almost unheard of.

Thank you, interesting.  I assume these Chinese are now Thai nationals.   I think the views you describe while current were no different in the 20th century.

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On 11/26/2021 at 9:44 AM, xylophone said:

Had to smile at your post because it's so far off as to be laughable, this especially as you know nothing about the relationship we had.

 

In the six years we were together she never asked for any money, although I gave her some as pocket money, and when I asked her to leave, she went to live with her sister initially and took her/our daughter with her. She was devastated when I told her she had to leave and she spent days laying in bed crying. 

 

I mentioned nothing about money, and neither did she, however sometime later when I sold the house, I did give her some money to start a little business, not only for her sake but to look after the daughter whom I had come to see as my own (and whom I still support and am putting through university).

 

There was never any win or lose in the whole situation, and if anything, I came out with all that I wanted, as I wanted my freedom and needed to free up some cash, and the bonus being that I still had a daughter whom I adored, and who adored me, and still does, so the situation suited me down to the ground, as the saying goes.

 

Don't give up your day job, as amateur psychologist doesn't seem to be your forte.

Silence as weapon is typical passive aggresssion in stunted relationships. I'm glad your relationship resolved itself happily for both of you.

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She's married. You're married. Best idea is to stop texting and block her phone. Otherwise one day you wife will find out and think there's something going on behind her back. Best to call it a day or regret it later.

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On 11/26/2021 at 4:21 PM, thaibook said:

No Chinese blood but had a Chinese Amah when young.

We had Chinese Amahs at first but then in the 80's upgraded to Filipina maids and Sri Lankan houseboys (at different times but all in HK).   

I was shocked when I went to boarding school in the UK and discovered that no-one else had live-in maids and drivers at home (aside from their mothers!)

 

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18 hours ago, Purdey said:

She's married. You're married. Best idea is to stop texting and block her phone. Otherwise one day you wife will find out and think there's something going on behind her back. Best to call it a day or regret it later.

 

If your wife is so untrusting of you having female friends then either you've given her reason to not trust you or she can't be trusted herself. 

 

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36 minutes ago, Freddy42OZ said:

If your wife is so untrusting of you having female friends then either you've given her reason to not trust you or she can't be trusted herself. 

I normally avoid all interactions with women outside my immediate family, which appears to be the cultural norm in Thailand. Married Thai folk are expected to have no 'one on one' contact with members of the opposite sex without their spouse being present. 

Edited by BritManToo
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Been with my Thai GF over 5 years now, life is actually very good with me and Mo, her name is Coco but call her ''Mo" as in Mo Money. That's no issue as the service she continues to provide over and above any other girl is priceless. The biggest problem is she tends to get loud and angry around the 8th Leo. Five years the exact some argument, my GF in Brazil. Lesson #1- NEVER TELL THE TRUTH< NO TRANSPERANCY. I told her week one I left my GF cause she was bi-polar, mean and angry and after 15 years with her I had enough. The only reason we would still be associated is because we were 50/50 on a million dollar beach house that would need to be sorted out. Will a problem GF1 did not have was making money. She opened our 2nd AirBnB and that house spit out 80K per year. She funded quarterly my share, house kept in tip-top shape all except the 250-300 intense sound-offs from MO about GF1 gets MO MONEY, MO CAR, MO EVERYTHING. Then, remember exact same lines every time, ''Why you not break it off with her ". I tell her simple as  100000baht plus per month to by Leo and $500000usd appreciating @ 5%/year" Always ends in a 5 minute chorus' of '' WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY................................................................" Getting better though as I just leave out my lines and do background chorus of why why why   why why      why why like duke duke duke in ''Duke of Errol". Gets her so <deleted> she just goes away, priceless.

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On 11/25/2021 at 4:16 PM, BritManToo said:

When a woman dumps me, I see it as a happy opportunity to get a younger and lighter one.

Why not do it the easy way and stay single? If you're constantly on the hunt for younger, lighter models, it doesn't make much sense to commit your resources to one.

 

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1 hour ago, JensenZ said:

Why not do it the easy way and stay single? If you're constantly on the hunt for younger, lighter models, it doesn't make much sense to commit your resources to one.

My 10yo son is a bit of effort to bring up alone.

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On 11/25/2021 at 11:37 PM, Bigz said:

Chinese in Thailand are comparable to Jewish people in the western world in my opinion. They are usually fairly wealthy, well educated, most of them upper middle class and quite successful. Most I met are running trading businesses, gold shops or doctors/dentists. Of course some are not wealthy but this is the public opinion anyway. (Same as Jews in Europe) Naturally the majority of Thais won't like them just like the majority of Europeans secretly (sometimes openly) dislike Jews. Personally I find both Thai-Chinese and Jews nice people.

This noted breach pertaining to this particular subject matter is a fascinating study among some esoteric scholarly circles - there is quite a bit of academic material that has been pursued regarding The historic Chinese in SE Asia [since the Ming era to present] and the odd comparisons that the Chinese have been looked upon as the Jews of Asia. 

 

Personally, I find these studies and theories have almost a non sequitur muse - the apples to passion fruit comparative have little to do with anything as to sociological character and historic influence.

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21 hours ago, Freddy42OZ said:

 

If your wife is so untrusting of you having female friends then either you've given her reason to not trust you or she can't be trusted herself. 

 

Thai women are not known for their understanding of the “we are just friends” dynamic if you do it in secret. They will automatically be suspicious if you see someone you once bonked (like an ex wife).

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On 11/25/2021 at 4:29 PM, CharlieH said:

Never known anyone yet that can fathom what goes on in a womans head !

Pleased for you thaf you were able to have lunch etc with no historic issues so to speak.

You gonna tell your wife what happdned and who you were with ? 😃

I for one, would Love to find out what goes on inside a Womans Brain.

My next step would be to write and publish a Book on the subject

This would make me the richest Guy on the Planet overnight, as every Man would want a copy

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24 minutes ago, Cake Monster said:

I for one, would Love to find out what goes on inside a Womans Brain.

I think you'd be disappointed.

And your 'best selling' book would only be 1/2 page long.

Edited by BritManToo
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9 hours ago, Purdey said:
On 11/28/2021 at 12:45 PM, Freddy42OZ said:

If your wife is so untrusting of you having female friends then either you've given her reason to not trust you or she can't be trusted herself. 

 

Thai women are not known for their understanding of the “we are just friends” dynamic if you do it in secret. They will automatically be suspicious if you see someone you once bonked (like an ex wife).

Why would you meet any female friends (ex wife or otherwise) in secret? 

Why not be 100% honest about who your friends are? 


 

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On 11/29/2021 at 8:09 PM, Freddy42OZ said:

Why would you meet any female friends (ex wife or otherwise) in secret? 

Why not be 100% honest about who your friends are? 


 

That's obviously true, but then you are expecting her to say she trusts you. In certain cases in the news this led to a 6 inch circumcision. 

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21 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

She still loves sees potential usefulness in maintaining a connection with [him].

They need to continue to "love" so as not to loose face to other Thai's, e.g. my sister-law continues to put up her x farang partner on a pedal stool (child together) because she dose not want people to know it's over, also she can not accept it, it's been 5 years, she tells everyone, he go back to work his country, he work velly hard, and he velly busy, send money 30,000 baht to me evelly month for he daughter.

 

The above said, when he does come to visit his daughter, he books two hotel rooms, one for her and for himself so he can spend a week with his daughter (8) who cannot speak Ingwish, no one sees him and he doesn't spend any time with his x, and he doesn't know she has a Thai guy living with her for the past 4 years, no doubt that will go down well when he finds out after spending all of them $ building that castle for his kid.

 

 Me Love You Long Time GIFs | Tenor

Edited by 4MyEgo
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