Legalities Of Being A Father

[rafval]

My girlfriend is pregnant , Im not the father, the father aparently wants nothing to do with the child. My girlfriend has asked me if I would name myself as the father. I dont have any issues with her intentions as I fully trust her altho she may be a little naive, but I dont understand why she wants me to do it or what the legal implications would be. Any info?

[Boo]

depends, where are you from, how long have you been together & how pregnant is she.?

If the answer to question 3 is longer than the answer to question 2 then you might want to reconsider your full trust of her

If you name yourself as the father of a child that isn't yours then by law, the child would possibly be entitled to get a passport from your home country & you may in future, be liable to pay child support if you ever seperated. It is a massive responsibility. You could always refute the paternity in future I suppose with DNA tests but why risk it?

Lets face it though, even if she is 9 months pregnant & you have been together since she was 1 week pregnant, do you really think you know her well enough to take on such a responibility??

But if you do commit to doing it then contact your embassy & see what rights the child & HER would have in future & particually if you were to split & she applied for child support from you.

[mellow1]

Did you say she is a little naive?

[rafval]

well, perhaps it would be simpler just to get married

depends, where are you from, how long have you been together & how pregnant is she.?

If the answer to question 3 is longer than the answer to question 2 then you might want to reconsider your full trust of her

If you name yourself as the father of a child that isn't yours then by law, the child would possibly be entitled to get a passport from your home country & you may in future, be liable to pay child support if you ever seperated. It is a massive responsibility. You could always refute the paternity in future I suppose with DNA tests but why risk it?

Lets face it though, even if she is 9 months pregnant & you have been together since she was 1 week pregnant, do you really think you know her well enough to take on such a responibility??

But if you do commit to doing it then contact your embassy & see what rights the child & HER would have in future & particually if you were to split & she applied for child support from you.

[rgs2001uk]

wont be the first time the girl just walks away, and no pun intended, some poor misguided soul is left holding the baby, without a leg to stand on, because he was naive enough to allow his name to be put on a b/c.

[keestha]

Rafval,

Also if you don't get married, you can have yourself officially listed as being the child's father, and if you and your girlfriend wish so, the child can have your family name. I don't know if it is legally possible in Thailand to have yourself registered as a child's father a few years after it has been born, you should enquire about this. As stated above, it had huge consequences to name yourself as the father, and so has marriage. Apart from alimony in case of a split up, in some cases being married to you can make it more difficult for your girlfriend to get a visa to visit your home country. Don't rush into things if it is not completely necessary.

[think_too_mut]

yet another troll. nobody who can use a computer could possibly be such of an idiot.

Edited June 6, 2007 by think_too_mut

[TommyGun]

Personally i think the guy has a genuine question. And the only troll i can see here is you who makes a post like that. Get off the band wagon.

Anyway OP. You really have got to be 100% sure if you intend to take the responsibilty on, even if you should part in the future.

Edited June 6, 2007 by TommyGun

[GuestHouse]

I'd take note of what Boo says when she asks do you really think you know her well enough.

She's in an awful fix, and wanting to help is admirable, but what are her motives? Does she genuinely love you or is she worried/frightened/concerned about the uncertain future and hence grasping at straws?

If so, and I feel it very likely to be so, then the truth of why she made her choices will play out once the baby is born and the dust has settled.

You might very well find yourself to be a father of convenience.

If these are motivations, and they may well be despite her not articulating them as such, then they can at least be understood, she has a huge responsibility on the way and needs security for the future.

You yourself have a lot more choices.

My advice is if you want to help, stay around to help, but don't take responsibility until the dust has settled. Not putting your name on the birth certificate does not prevent you from helping out and taking care of this child.

But it does prevent you from walking away from the responsibility in the future.

The last thing you need is your girlfriend waking up from her current worries to realize that she doesn't actually love you, but needs you around or your money around to help pay for her past mistakes.

Alternatively, if things do work out you can adopt the child in the future at a time when you are both hopefully thinking straight

[tijnebijn]

I'd take note of what Boo says when she asks do you really think you know her well enough.

She's in an awful fix, and wanting to help is admirable, but what are her motives? Does she genuinely love you or is she worried/frightened/concerned about the uncertain future and hence grasping at straws?

If so, and I feel it very likely to be so, then the truth of why she made her choices will play out once the baby is born and the dust has settled.

You might very well find yourself to be a father of convenience.

If these are motivations, and they may well be despite her not articulating them as such, then they can at least be understood, she has a huge responsibility on the way and needs security for the future.

You yourself have a lot more choices.

My advice is if you want to help, stay around to help, but don't take responsibility until the dust has settled. Not putting your name on the birth certificate does not prevent you from helping out and taking care of this child.

But it does prevent you from walking away from the responsibility in the future.

The last thing you need is your girlfriend waking up from her current worries to realize that she doesn't actually love you, but needs you around or your money around to help pay for her past mistakes.

Alternatively, if things do work out you can adopt the child in the future at a time when you are both hopefully thinking straight

I totally agree on this one,their is nothing more to say.Morally you will always be the father,especially when the relationship in the future will work,you always could adopt the child later on ,cause you will love it as your own.Love the misses love the child,are you ready?

[rafval]

Thanks for the replies, of course she has the childs interests at heart and is worried about its future, she s only human, Im not really planning on naming myself as the father at this stage, Im just wondering the ramifications of doing so as its something I know nothing about. She did mention she wants the child to have my surname and be able to get a passport, but she is not trying to mislead me, thats just what she would like and she wants to know if I would do it, but shes not going to leave or anything if I dont, and actually Im in a similar position, it could be to my advantage to get married in order to stay in Thailand.

I'd take note of what Boo says when she asks do you really think you know her well enough.

She's in an awful fix, and wanting to help is admirable, but what are her motives? Does she genuinely love you or is she worried/frightened/concerned about the uncertain future and hence grasping at straws?

If so, and I feel it very likely to be so, then the truth of why she made her choices will play out once the baby is born and the dust has settled.

You might very well find yourself to be a father of convenience.

If these are motivations, and they may well be despite her not articulating them as such, then they can at least be understood, she has a huge responsibility on the way and needs security for the future.

You yourself have a lot more choices.

My advice is if you want to help, stay around to help, but don't take responsibility until the dust has settled. Not putting your name on the birth certificate does not prevent you from helping out and taking care of this child.

But it does prevent you from walking away from the responsibility in the future.

The last thing you need is your girlfriend waking up from her current worries to realize that she doesn't actually love you, but needs you around or your money around to help pay for her past mistakes.

Alternatively, if things do work out you can adopt the child in the future at a time when you are both hopefully thinking straight

I totally agree on this one,their is nothing more to say.Morally you will always be the father,especially when the relationship in the future will work,you always could adopt the child later on ,cause you will love it as your own.Love the misses love the child,are you ready?

[sylvafern]

Thanks for the replies, of course she has the childs interests at heart and is worried about its future, she s only human, Im not really planning on naming myself as the father at this stage, Im just wondering the ramifications of doing so as its something I know nothing about. She did mention she wants the child to have my surname and be able to get a passport, but she is not trying to mislead me, thats just what she would like and she wants to know if I would do it, but shes not going to leave or anything if I dont, and actually Im in a similar position, it could be to my advantage to get married in order to stay in Thailand.

It's not as simple as having your name on the birth certificate ... depending where you are from, you have to shoof proof of paternity (even if your name is on the birth certificate) in order for the child to get citizenship which will lead to a passport .... lying on a birth certificate may actually work against you. However, by adopting the child at a later date, you should not have any problems at all as the child is legally yours once adopted.

Also, think of the child .... is it morally right to name someone on the birth certificate who is not the child's biological father? While you might raise the child as your own, at some point the child might start to wonder why she/he has different personality traits/looks than you, etc. Or what if the child has some genetical medical disorder which requires tracking down the natural father ... it would come as a great shock to learn that the person known as 'dad' really isn't dad at all (in the biological sense). Something like this could end up having a terrible affect on your relationship. You need to think very carefully about what is best for the child, not for the mother as she is not the one which will be affected by this decision later in life.

[torrenova]

Is the OP for real ?

1. "Girlfriend" is up the spout by some other guy

2. He is considering putting his name on the birth certificate

3. He is considering marraige purely as a means of staying in Thailand

I think the men in white coats should head straight to his address and put him on the next plane home. He has lost the plot.

[Rhys]

Yikes.. Dude.. That is some request... REally... Cover your 6..

[rafval]

thanks folks, Im really only interested in the legalities, the social judgements and morality aspect is something I can deal with on my own, altho apreciate your comments sylverfern

[Farma]

....................She did mention she wants the child to have my surname and be able to get a passport................

This may not be as simple as she thinks. Last year a close friend who is married to a Thai lady was required by his embassy to submit DNA test results to obtain a passport for their child.

[smartecosse]

....................She did mention she wants the child to have my surname and be able to get a passport................

This may not be as simple as she thinks. Last year a close friend who is married to a Thai lady was required by his embassy to submit DNA test results to obtain a passport for their child.

i suppose the "hoops" that you need to jump through to get the passport for the kid depends on what embassy is issuing it.

I just can't believe that there seems to be a never ending supply of gullible fools arriving in Thailand. makes you realise the truth in the saying "there's one born every minute"

[rafval]

yep, theres one born every minute, sadly they always think its someone else thats the fool, actually I get the feeling that people have been having relationships for a number of years, even in thailand, and there have even been pregnacies, strange world I guess

....................She did mention she wants the child to have my surname and be able to get a passport................

This may not be as simple as she thinks. Last year a close friend who is married to a Thai lady was required by his embassy to submit DNA test results to obtain a passport for their child.

i suppose the "hoops" that you need to jump through to get the passport for the kid depends on what embassy is issuing it.

I just can't believe that there seems to be a never ending supply of gullible fools arriving in Thailand. makes you realise the truth in the saying "there's one born every minute"

Edited June 11, 2007 by rafval

[smartecosse]

yep, theres one born every minute, sadly they always think its someone else thats the fool, actually I get the feeling that people have been having relationships for a number of years, even in thailand, and there have even been pregnacies, strange world I guess

surely you can see how some people view the situation that you have presented

girlfriend pregnant by another man

admits wants a passport

u might be able to stay in thailand if you marry her for a visa

what an awful way for a child's parents to be together

"mummy married daddy for a passport"

"daddy married mummy for a visa"

[rafval]

well, as I said Im interested in the legalities, wheather or not I stay with the lady or her child has nothing to do with weather I not I marry her or be the legal father of the child

yep, theres one born every minute, sadly they always think its someone else thats the fool, actually I get the feeling that people have been having relationships for a number of years, even in thailand, and there have even been pregnacies, strange world I guess

surely you can see how some people view the situation that you have presented

girlfriend pregnant by another man

admits wants a passport

u might be able to stay in thailand if you marry her for a visa

what an awful way for a child's parents to be together

"mummy married daddy for a passport"

"daddy married mummy for a visa"

[think_too_mut]

well, as I said Im interested in the legalities, wheather or not I stay with the lady or her child has nothing to do with weather I not I marry her or be the legal father of the child

At first, I thought you were a troll.

Now looks more like you are a skunk.

[tijnebijn]

the legalities....So it does not worry you you do love her or not or will stay with her or not.I think these questions are the most important to make your move to be married and have a child at once.I am not sure if you are a person who is ready for this all.

To marry for a reason inevitably in the end will fail,but like you said you do it for a reason,it is the wrong one.

Should not be the reason to do any of this,ofcourse not my problem,but you took it in the open on the forum.

[JimmyCA]

My girlfriend is pregnant , Im not the father, the father aparently wants nothing to do with the child. My girlfriend has asked me if I would name myself as the father. I dont have any issues with her intentions as I fully trust her altho she may be a little naive, but I dont understand why she wants me to do it or what the legal implications would be. Any info?

You are not the father, will never be the father, why name yourself as father.

[Fred Sanford]

I met a guy on a visa run recently who married a girl 10 years ago for 2 reasons only

1. so she could get to Germany (where she has been for years)

2. so he could get Non O visas

I saw him on the run to a nearby consulate where he did get a 90 day Non O visa by showing a copy of the marriage certif and his bank book. I saw his Non O and the other 2 items. The guy has been living with a different girl in Pattaya the past 6 years. the marrieds never planned on remaining together. I forget if he was legally divorced or not.

Edited June 14, 2007 by Fred Sanford

[rafval]

you are putting words into my mouth, where do I say it does not worry me if i love her or not etc? altho this is not the topic i am trying to discuss I agree that these are the most important things, naming myself father or getting married is immaterial to me except for the legal ramifications which I was trying to get info on, instead I have been given a lecture in late 20th century western morality

the legalities....So it does not worry you you do love her or not or will stay with her or not.I think these questions are the most important to make your move to be married and have a child at once.I am not sure if you are a person who is ready for this all.

To marry for a reason inevitably in the end will fail,but like you said you do it for a reason,it is the wrong one.

Should not be the reason to do any of this,ofcourse not my problem,but you took it in the open on the forum.

[rafval]

exactly, on the other hand, and what I was trying to find out, is if the kid grows up thinking of me as its father, I dont mean in a genetic sence but because I play that role, why not name myself as the father?

My girlfriend is pregnant , Im not the father, the father aparently wants nothing to do with the child. My girlfriend has asked me if I would name myself as the father. I dont have any issues with her intentions as I fully trust her altho she may be a little naive, but I dont understand why she wants me to do it or what the legal implications would be. Any info?

You are not the father, will never be the father, why name yourself as father.

[JimmyCA]

I met a guy on a visa run recently who married a girl 10 years ago for 2 reasons only

1. so she could get to Germany (where she has been for years)

2. so he could get Non O visas

I saw him on the run to a nearby consulate where he did get a 90 day Non O visa by showing a copy of the marriage certif and his bank book. I saw his Non O and the other 2 items. The guy has been living with a different girl in Pattaya the past 6 years. the marrieds never planned on remaining together. I forget if he was legally divorced or not.

The guy and that girl you discuss is real trash. This sleazy couple makes it difficult for real couples to be together. The visa rules are there for a reason. To keep trash like him out of Thailand and trash like her out of Germany.

[JimmyCA]

exactly, on the other hand, and what I was trying to find out, is if the kid grows up thinking of me as its father, I dont mean in a genetic sence but because I play that role, why not name myself as the father?

My girlfriend is pregnant , Im not the father, the father aparently wants nothing to do with the child. My girlfriend has asked me if I would name myself as the father. I dont have any issues with her intentions as I fully trust her altho she may be a little naive, but I dont understand why she wants me to do it or what the legal implications would be. Any info?

You are not the father, will never be the father, why name yourself as father.

The scenario you propose will not take place. You will never be thought of as father as you are a farang. Chances are EXTREMELY SLIM you will even be involved with her in 2 - 3 years.

Wisdom

[rafval]

do you have the same fortune teller as taksins wife

exactly, on the other hand, and what I was trying to find out, is if the kid grows up thinking of me as its father, I dont mean in a genetic sence but because I play that role, why not name myself as the father?

My girlfriend is pregnant , Im not the father, the father aparently wants nothing to do with the child. My girlfriend has asked me if I would name myself as the father. I dont have any issues with her intentions as I fully trust her altho she may be a little naive, but I dont understand why she wants me to do it or what the legal implications would be. Any info?

You are not the father, will never be the father, why name yourself as father.

The scenario you propose will not take place. You will never be thought of as father as you are a farang. Chances are EXTREMELY SLIM you will even be involved with her in 2 - 3 years.

Wisdom

[JimmyCA]

Yes I do. Use Taksin as last name.

Should be very popular upcountry

you still involved with her or finish already