Take care of me

[Kenny202]

30 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

They are very smart:

 

Mine got lazier and lazier.
Once, by chance, another mobile phone was making noises.

 

Yeah this is one of the things that perplexes me. This type of woman comes into a relationship expecting to give nothing apart from a lot of misery. Then seem to get bitter and resentful but refuse to leave. I have found some of them seem to file away imagined slights as if they have some blackmail evidence to make it even more difficult to get shod of them. Or perhaps it is a facebook checklist of excuses to cover herself for once again being an inadequate partner. I mean, if you are going to live with someone, perfect life or not and you don't have other choices or are willing to leave...... at least try to make the best of it. They seem to do it over and over again to, rinse and repeat and never seem to learn

[scubascuba3]

40 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

If guys are only here on holiday and they think their darling will wait the rest of the year for them in the rice field alone are just dreaming.

But if a guy invites a girl to live with him all the time then he should have the situation a lot better under control. And if the are not compatible to each other then they can separate again. No problem. 

Secret thai boyfriends do exist, not just a myth, if the girl sees the guy as a job then no wonder they have someone they like elsewhere, the farangs job should be to try and get one that actually likes them, but many ignore that part

[RafPinto]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

A german giving 50 k a month, is a fat lie, and most likely they work in one of the bordellas over there. 

I know.
I told her that probably a medium "NET" income would be around 2000EUR

74,000Baht but still to pay all expenses like house, food, utilities etc

 

I told her many times: next time one of your rich friends tells you sole stories, make a video call.
They will never accept your call request as they are probably cleaning somewhere toilets, working in bar, massage or whatever.
There is no villa, pool, Porsche etc.

 

Just stupid face and show-off thing.

[scubascuba3]

16 minutes ago, RocketDog said:

I hear you loud and clear Kinnock.

I suspect many of the cynical responses thus far are from emotionally wounded men.

No doubt many Thai women are guilty as charged, but certainly not all.

Generally the lucky ones of us that find good matches don't join these pity parties. When we do we are mocked as being naive.

The truth is that many western men are quite happy with the matches they made in the Kingdom. I am one, just for the record.

If any readers of this post are of those happy forum members then a click an appropriate emoji will show if you and I are truly really unique.

Let's see what happens.

Here's another one for you, as you know the girls can and do play the long game, a guy i know said one wife waited 15 years for the farang to die then went back with her thai husband

[Kenny202]

47 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

If I was a Thai woman, I'd be looking for a farang to take care of me too. Because once they get to their forties, fifties and sixties, the future is pretty bleak.

Some Thai women are abandoned by their husbands or partners because they are no longer beautiful, or they have a child/children the Thai male does not want to support.

 

Presumably there are Thai men who remain in a marriage, even if they play around, which I understand is quite common. Mia nois and giks. Having said that, I am astounded by the number of quite attractive Thai women I meet that are single, and not by their choice.

 

It's a contract of mutual support. I can expect to be looked after when I am messing my diapers, in return for the money I provide.

 

A case in point is my regular Thai massage lady. 60 yo, hard worker. When she was 30 yo, her husband told her she was no longer beautiful, and split. Her daughter hasn't spoken to her for years.

 

She's actually better off than many rural Thais, owns her own house, car, and scooter. However, if she stops working, she will only be getting the government handout of 500 or 600 baht/month, which is a sick joke.

 

Standard questions I get from just about every middle-aged Thai woman areQuite sad, really.

 

Lot of red flags (and naivety) in that post. I find they have as much chance of finding a foreigner (not a Thai guy) in their 40'a 50's as a younger woman. I think a lot of blokes think they will have a better chance with an older woman. Unfortunately often isn't the case.

 

In my experience they were "abandoned" usually because of the same issues her next partner will have with her. Have heard so many stories over the years. Some of them very convincing and pitiful but didn't take long to work out she was exactly the same as the supposed abusive, selfish, unfaithful Thai man she was describing. 

 

A Thai massage lady in her 50s 60s with cars, home, bike, etc whose daughter refuses to speak to her would raise a major red flag for me and I would be very doubtful she was "abandoned" at 30yo and just worked her butt off for the next 30 years to get all those assets. I would say possibly 2 or 3 broken hearts in between paid for those cars and house.

 

Taking care of you when you are messing in your diapers? I wouldn't count on it. Promises are very easy to make. There is a saying hold a lump of shet in one hand and some nice words or promises in the other. See what carries the most weight. Hanging on to them even though they clearly have never given a rats about you in the hope they will take care of you when you are older is just illogical. More than likely you would get a pillow over your face

 

And last but not least....

"Where are you from?" Second question invariably is " Do you have a Thai GF?"

Standard bar girl ice breaker....word for word

[swm59nj]

I’m single and in my two years here I have spoken to and met Thai women.  Many of them have asked if “ I’m looking to take care”. They would either ask this in text or after meeting in person. 
And yes.  Like others have said.  It does seem to mean if you are going to take care of them monetarily.  Even if you barely know them.  When they say this I stop contact with them.

 

[Kenny202]

10 minutes ago, Hummin said:

A german giving 50 k a month, is a fat lie, and most likely they work in one of the bordellas over there. 

It's a fat lie, but sadly many believe it. As well as all the other rubbish the village experts who have never even spoken to a farang espouse about riches and gold. 

[Kenny202]

10 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Secret thai boyfriends do exist, not just a myth, if the girl sees the guy as a job then no wonder they have someone they like elsewhere, the farangs job should be to try and get one that actually likes them, but many ignore that part

Oh I would go a step further and say not only does it exist it is common. Why I would suggest anyone ever coming here to live and wanting to set up house with their teerac lives as far away from the village she grew up in as possible. 

[RafPinto]

4 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Lot of red flags (and naivety) in that post. I find they have as much chance of finding a foreigner (not a Thai guy) in their 40'a 50's as a younger woman. I think a lot of blokes think they will have a better chance with an older woman. Unfortunately often isn't the case.

 

In my experience they were "abandoned" usually because of the same issues her next partner will have with her. Have heard so many stories over the years. Some of them very convincing and pitiful but didn't take long to work out she was exactly the same as the supposed abusive, selfish, unfaithful Thai man she was describing. 

 

A Thai massage lady in her 50s 60s with cars, home, bike, etc whose daughter refuses to speak to her would raise a major red flag for me and I would be very doubtful she was "abandoned" at 30yo and just worked her butt off for the next 30 years to get all those assets. I would say possibly 2 or 3 broken hearts in between paid for those cars and house.

 

And last but not least....

"Where are you from?" Second question invariably is " Do you have a Thai GF?"

Standard bar girl ice breaker....word for word

First question:

Where are you from?

How long are you in Thailand?

Are you married?

Where do you live?

Oh, you live in Thailand?

How long?

You have or had Thai girlfriend?

What is your job?

You have a car?

You speak Thai?

Oh, you do? What car and how much?

You speak Thai?

You like thai food?

And when feeling a bit more comfortable:

How much your salary?

 

If this seems all positive, they offer you to help you out.

They even want to go with you.

 

I stay clear of the massage, bar girls, the ones who speak a "special" english, the ones with tattoos, the ones with all. kind of social media with pictures of sky bars, drinking, holidays in Europe etc.

 

They usually do not like when you are too long in Thailand or had a Thai partner or speak any Thai because most probably, you will know a lot about their tricks, lies and games.

[RafPinto]

I remember one girl I saw on TC.
She sent me a message saying: Hello XXXX, I really like your profile;

Please contact me and if you can take care of me, i would like  us to go an meet my mother 5555

 

 

They are crazy.

[Lacessit]

2 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Lot of red flags (and naivety) in that post. I find they have as much chance of finding a foreigner (not a Thai guy) in their 40'a 50's as a younger woman. I think a lot of blokes think they will have a better chance with an older woman. Unfortunately often isn't the case.

 

In my experience they were "abandoned" usually because of the same issues her next partner will have with her. Have heard so many stories over the years. Some of them very convincing and pitiful but didn't take long to work out she was exactly the same as the supposed abusive, selfish, unfaithful Thai man she was describing. 

 

A Thai massage lady in her 50s 60s with cars, home, bike, etc whose daughter refuses to speak to her would raise a major red flag for me and I would be very doubtful she was "abandoned" at 30yo and just worked her butt off for the next 30 years to get all those assets. I would say possibly 2 or 3 broken hearts in between paid for those cars and house.

 

And last but not least....

"Where are you from?" Second question invariably is " Do you have a Thai GF?"

Standard bar girl ice breaker....word for word

A rather cynical view, but I suppose you are entitled to it.

Mother-daughter hostilities have been around since Adam was a pup, and you're assuming the mother is the one at fault.

Permit me to doubt the assets she has are the result of 2 or 3 broken hearts, perhaps I should have said she is no oil painting. I'm inclined to the view she is simply a hard worker. Many Thai women are.

It's a long time since I have been in a bar, maybe 8 years. IIRC, the standard questions I got then centered around lady drinks, and if I would pay a barfine. The questions I posted get asked even now by massage women, restaurant waitresses and hospital nurses, and it's not because I am hansum man.

[Kenny202]

10 minutes ago, swm59nj said:

I’m single and in my two years here I have spoken to and met Thai women.  Many of them have asked if “ I’m looking to take care”. They would either ask this in text or after meeting in person. 
And yes.  Like others have said.  It does seem to mean if you are going to take care of them monetarily.  Even if you barely know them.  When they say this I stop contact with them.

 

This does appear to be a rural / village concept in my experience. And sadly when they say take care they do seem to mean financially while they sit on their a$$ and do zero. I think the best thing you can do is ask them how they will take care of you? Can they cook, clean, take care of a farang home? What bang are you getting for your buck?

 

I find not only are they unwilling to contribute to even looking after themselves. I am pretty domesticated. Do everything in the home including cooking etc. Last one I was not only taking care of myself and my son...but her kid as well. On top of that she expected to be pampered and waited on lol. 

 

I can only imagine this sort of culture came from living in a village. Maybe the average bloke would struggle getting a women for sex or otherwise and enters into this take care arrangement to have his way

[ThailandRyan]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Charlie Sheen did that, or at least he said that he did it. But I doubt YOU do that.

Upon a divorce the judge made me.....lol

[Sparktrader]

Im tired

Cook for me

Massage me

Give me stuff

 

[Lacessit]

4 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

I remember one girl I saw on TC.
She sent me a message saying: Hello XXXX, I really like your profile;

Please contact me and if you can take care of me, i would like  us to go an meet my mother 5555

 

 

They are crazy.

Crazy like a fox. A cashed-up stud like you with a big todger is their dream.

After the introduction to mum, next step would be having your baby.

[Kenny202]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

Permit me to doubt the assets she has are the result of 2 or 3 broken hearts, perhaps I should have said she is no oil painting.

Forgive me as I know none of the details but is an oft told story. And don't let the no oil painting thing fool you either. Go and have a look on "only fans" or some of these online video sites. See some women exactly like you describe. Some real mattress monsters put a bit of lippy on, big a$$ and a G string....Look a million bucks. Many of them know how to look, what to say and they have blokes falling all over themselves. Some of them have 100's of followers at $10-$20 a pop per month. 

[jesimps]

I've been married to my Thai wife for thirteen years. She used the same words when we got together "I stay with you, you look after me". However, she's worked as a teacher in a local school for our entire marriage. I'm no worse off now than I was in either of my first two marriages to English women.

[Kenny202]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

Crazy like a fox. A cashed-up stud like you with a big todger is their dream.

After the introduction to mum, next step would be having your baby.

The meet mum thing is a ploy too, seen it quite a few times. Then they turn around and say oh you met my mum. That means you are serious and now you say you don't want me. Threats of visits from village head men and angry pitch fork wielding family / villagers ensue lol

[RafPinto]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

Crazy like a fox. A cashed-up stud like you with a big todger is their dream.

After the introduction to mum, next step would be having your baby.

Exactly.
The one I was with 1,5 years.
When I showed her the door, she said that I lost her 1,5 year and I didn't give her anything.
Her friends all got houses and cars.
A big smile from my part.
Go and find prince stupid but I am definitely too smart for you.
After a while even to lazy to do some cooking.

 

Out and my life started again.

[Lacessit]

4 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

This does appear to be a rural / village concept in my experience. And sadly when they say take care they do seem to mean financially while they sit on their a$$ and do zero. I think the best thing you can do is ask them how they will take care of you? Can they cook, clean, take care of a farang home? What bang are you getting for your buck?

 

 

Obviously, you missed out, which is influencing your view.

My Thai GF cooks, washes my clothes, gives me a massage and more, even cuts my toenails. She sees dirt which is invisible to me, and I am not a slob.

I am certainly getting more bang for my buck than I got in Australia, they were the ones who wanted to sit on their a$$ while I was busting mine.

[RafPinto]

And they can get extremely dangerous if they feel the game is over.
Extremely aggressive and provoking.

I never touched my ex because I could feel what she was up too.
5 min later she would have been at the police, inventing a story I attacked her.
I always kept my cool.
She always said: If you kick me out, I have friends and I make sure you can not stay in Thailand.
I am Thai and I am more important.

I prepared her luggage and showed the lift. A bit convincing was necessary....

[Kenny202]

Just now, RafPinto said:

And they can get extremely dangerous if they feel the game is over.
Extremely aggressive and provoking.

I never touched my ex because I could feel what she was up too.
5 min later she would have been at the police, inventing a story I attacked her.
I always kept my cool.
She always said: If you kick me out, I have friends and I make sure you can not stay in Thailand.
I am Thai and I am more important.

I prepared her luggage and showed the lift. A bit convincing was necessary....

I am starting to wonder if we had the same ex lol. Dangerous is a very apt word for this sort of woman particularly for someone living in a foreign country. The provocation stuff 100000%. Seen it a few times. I once said to mine why don't you just try and be happy and normal and helpful rather than trying to engineer scenarios where you try to force me to stay with you? Do you really want to live with someone who has no feelings for you? I remember I said to her once...in a relationship in my country it is most important first and foremost that a couple are friends....not enemies. She scoffed and laughed at me unbelievably and said have you ever been with anyone like that? She just couldn't believe it. You only have to watch a bit of Thai TV here to work out a relationship seems to be all about envy, jealousy, revenge and winner takes all. I am well aware every women here isn't like this, and there are many similar to this back home. But man I have had my fair share to the point where I just don't think it is worth the trouble if trying to live with one again. 

[ivor bigun]

I read over and over that guys have to look after the girls family ,give her money ,buy a house on and on ,when i first came  to Thailand i was in a relationship with a girl ,she never asked me to look after her family , eventualy when i had a business here i met my now wife ,she never asked me for anything ,mind you her family were not poor ,and most of the guys i know have not had to look after the family , must have just been lucky i guess.

[ThailandRyan]

3 minutes ago, ivor bigun said:

I read over and over that guys have to look after the girls family ,give her money ,buy a house on and on ,when i first came  to Thailand i was in a relationship with a girl ,she never asked me to look after her family , eventualy when i had a business here i met my now wife ,she never asked me for anything ,mind you her family were not poor ,and most of the guys i know have not had to look after the family , must have just been lucky i guess.

You never had to negotiate the minefields of the Thai relationship it appears.  So yes you made a good choice and escaped what many others have endured.  The stories told are reality unfortunately.  I have run the gauntlet three times, the last time being a divorce after I caught her cheating.  Of course she had landed the bigger fish, a true millionaire, and I walked away with not giving her much and everything here went to out Thai daughter who is in the US with her and the new Mr.   Now I find myself to be with one, who like yours, does not want anything for her family, and buys me items with her own money that she earns cutting hair.  Of course she is not Thai, and then she would bitch-slap the first person who called her Thai.  She has a disdain for the game players like her Thai ex.

 

At the end of the day the old adage I was told many many years ago still rings true, and that is "Never invest more than you can walk away from, and still be able to start anew elsewhere".  Life is tenuous enough on it's own and there is no need to play with fire, yet some seem to relish the idea of pouring more fuel on the flames.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

Have you ever tried getting rid of one of them lol. Usually results in one or many horrible scenes. Screaming at back gates. Must be great to have a keyed / gated condo

Yes, that is often a challenge. But staying longer together with someone who is just not the right person is not any better. 

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

Have you ever tried getting rid of one of them lol. Usually results in one or many horrible scenes. Screaming at back gates. Must be great to have a keyed / gated condo

Easy, pack up my sideboxes and topbox, take out sim card, block her from social media, start up the bike and ride in to the horizon and never look back. 
 

works well when you do not connect to material things. The only sad thing is my favorite dog, but will make sure he gets his favorite food and snack from Lazada every month. 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

Secret thai boyfriends do exist, not just a myth, if the girl sees the guy as a job then no wonder they have someone they like elsewhere, the farangs job should be to try and get one that actually likes them, but many ignore that part

I think in part this is the "I will take care of you" promise.

I never promised any girl a regular payment. She stays with me and I pay for life. And if she needs new clothes or a new phone or whatever that is ok, that is real life. But nothing like: Take x amount every month. 

A girl who doesn't like a guy wouldn't agree to such an arrangement. And a girl who is happy if she is together with the guy she loves doesn't need more.

[jerrymahoney]

10 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Easy, pack up my sideboxes and topbox, take out sim card, block her from social media, start up the bike and ride in to the horizon and never look back. 
 

works well when you do not connect to material things. The only sad thing is my favorite dog, but will make sure he gets his favorite food and snack from Lazada every month. 

In the movie Heat, the Robert De Niro character says:

 

 'A guy told me one time, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."'

 

Of course, in the end, he didn't follow that advice.

[Kenny202]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think in part this is the "I will take care of you" promise.

I never promised any girl a regular payment. She stays with me and I pay for life. And if she needs new clothes or a new phone or whatever that is ok, that is real life. But nothing like: Take x amount every month. 

A girl who doesn't like a guy wouldn't agree to such an arrangement. And a girl who is happy if she is together with the guy she loves doesn't need more.

100% agree to this. If I was going to be paying per month I would be making sure she was an 18yo porn star and I wouldn't be caring about her cooking and cleaning skills. I would also be doing exactly what I want when I want. And of course this would not be acceptable. In most cases being a good catch to a Thai woman doesn't mean you have a pithy sense of humor, good looking, young etc. In fact some would prefer you were living in another country sending monthly payments and she can get on with her life living with her real husband. She is willing to endure you a few weeks a year. A lot of offshore FIFO worker guys unable to travel or out of work because of Covid have found this out the hard way...that the Thai woman wasn't happy to have him living living with her full time particularly while he wasn't earning or providing her with the same she got before.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, RafPinto said:

You get my body.

That's exactly what one of them answered me.

She had a good job, made 70k a month, 39 years old but wanted to stop working because she was tired.
Keep working, enjoy the work environment and let's build something together.
NO: Why to work if prince rich farang can realise all her dreams NOW.

And when a 39yo says 'you get my body', you reply ......... 19 years too late for that offer.