THE WEEK THAT WAS Silly Season reigns supreme both in Thailand and abroad - Rooster contemplates another week off!

[webfact]

 

OPINION | by Rooster

 

The term Silly Season was coined as long ago as the 19th century to describe that time when journalists have little to do as western politicians take summer recesses. 

 

Fortunately in Thailand there is no clearly defined “low season” when it comes to politics, they just take time off on public holidays - there are plenty of those after all. 

 

In fact, it’s silly season all year round in Thailand. And the sillier the better.

 

In the west journalists are famed for taking up the slack of political news with stories about the weather and celebrities.

 

In Thailand that kind of reporting is mainstream so the public could be forgiven for thinking that it’s a year round thing.

 

July has seen so many holidays I’m surprised when my kids actually go to school. A rare treat. 

 

Last week Rooster took a break from the column. It wasn’t so much as a “slow news day” but a slow news week capping a slow news month. The silly season was so silly that even Rooster was stumped for words. I felt like another break this week, but you’re stuck with me.

 

This week I’m largely ignoring anything serious and going with the flow. After all, I liked Thailand in the first place not because it was serious but because it was silly. 

 

Unlike many foreigners, I still love the idiocy, rarely does it make me upset. I just laugh.

 

One of my favorite stories of the week was a child in a Phetchabun kindergarten who was sent home with an A4 sheet stapled to their shirt with the words: 

 

“Don’t forget to dress up for Thai language day on Tuesday.”

 

It was good to hear there is a Thai language day, perhaps introduced by the Thai PM who suggested a few years ago that it should be a world language. And the message was in Thai.

 

But the father was furious at the silly teacher who had embarrassed him and his kid.

 

However, a little bit of Rooster - a schoolteacher for 20 years - thought, did the parents read the contact book? A rhetorical question.

 

Parents usually don’t bother but are quick to criticize when teachers get cross about communication between school and home being ignored. 

 

In this case the “khru” was transferred to an active post in another class while the director investigated. 

 

What’s to investigate? He stapled an A4 sheet on the kid’s clothes. Now that’s silly even if there was a good intention to make sure that the kid was not left out by parental forgetfulness. 

 

In politics Anutin was not taking a day off. Not one. Instead he continued to sing the praises of marijuana, though it felt more like money was his main concern than the “” of the people.

 

 

He mentioned that health tourism was worth 2.2 trillion baht worldwide and that is the sort of number he wants a slice of!

 

So, yes, there was to be absolutely no back-tracking on the legalization of weed. Hooray!

 

To paraphrase Mrs Thatcher, this man was not for turning….just turning up ad nauseam. 

 

The Thai media - and ASEAN NOW also - love everything related to the head honcho at the MoPH. He sells those column inches with the kind of silliness that keeps journalists busy year round. 

 

Not that weed is silly. It’s deadly serious. Especially the rip-off prices in Thailand. 

 

As has been well documented, Rooster is a keen supporter of the change in the law and thinks Anutin has done a good job to push it through in this manner, not waiting just going full steam ahead. The House committee looking into the finer aspects of the law will report next month.

 

The doctors and medical staff at Ramathibodi Hospital - 851 of them clearly pressured into signing for a weed U-turn - and Muslims in the south intent on imposing their medieval beliefs on sane people, should all be ignored.

 

There are plenty of safeguards to stop recreational use among youth and protect people’s health. 

 

So doctors and Islam - pipe down….as it were. Thailand should be praised for doing something a tad radical for Asia. Controversial, yes, but a statement for freedom for a change.

 

Best silly fake news inspired the forum curmudgeons to comment in proverbial droves. 

 

This was about penises shrinking after Covid. It reminded Rooster of Viz comic’s Sid the Sexist who was asked by a woman if he had an eight inch todger to satisfy her.

 

“Nooo,” replied the Geordie wannabe womanizer. “I’m nae lopping six inches off mae tool for nae lass”.

 

 

Sid famously never ever gets his way with a woman - it’s just bravado, something that the forum has in spades when it comes to comparing their length with Thais.

 

Clearly they spend a lot of time in the locker room looking at men, or maybe it’s glances to left and right at the urinals in Central. 

 

I prefer the cubicles to avoid foreigners staring at my willy. There I can read the non-existent news on my phone in private. Being British I always love to sit down on the job especially if there is reading matter to hand. 

 

Anyway, the Anti Fake News center investigated and found out that Thai tools were not shrinking post Covid. 

 

 

In fact until the migrants from Laos, Burma and Cambodia return in numbers, Thais have just downed tools, whatever their size.

 

Best silly season picture was of British Ambassador H.E. Mark Gooding, a man that grammatically challenged Thais call “He Mark”.

 

He Mark was visiting Justice Minister Somsak Thepsuthin to do what all ambassadors with time on their hands do - before afternoon tennis rubbers - namely, bang on about human rights. 

 

Somsak said that the prison population had dipped about 90,000 so now there was no overcrowding. Although he didn’t say as much, this drop in the need for porridge was entirely a consequence of people stupidly banged up for weed, most of whom have now been released.

 

My main point however is that neither man had apparently noticed, or preferred to remain schtum, when the backdrop to their meeting said “Minist y of Justice”.

 

 

The three “Rs” have taken a battering in recent decades, now they appear to be going AWOL entirely. 

 

Somsak has gone on and on about how many drugs have been seized under his watch. Perhaps it would have been better if the sign had said “Ministry of Just Ice”. 

 

Silly in the extreme was a daft MP in Samut Prakan who flung himself to the feet of fatty Prawit Wongsuwon who had just got out of his van.

 

It looked like the MP was going to lick Prawit’s shoes. Actually his absurd “graap” was because he and five others voted against the interior minister in the no-confidence debate. 

 

 

The act of apology and contrition to the DPM came after the group of MPs felt they had been ignored by Anupong Paojinda. And feared further sanction from Prawit as leader of the PPRP. 

 

Aides helped the MP get up and Prawit didn’t seem fazed - he just headed for the food tent imagining that the MP had been looking for a lost watch. 

 

This dinosaur is so past his sell-by date it’s not silly. He can barely walk on his own let alone put vocabulary in order in the usual manner known as sentences.

 

He makes Prayut - our leader who art in khaki hollow be thy name - look sensible. Damning indeed.

 

They all need to be retired then their replacements can have them arrested and prosecuted for what they’ve done - or not done - to our beloved Thailand in the last 8 years.

 

Followed by a reconciliation committee, of course. 

 

In international news one of my favorite journalists - Kate McCann formerly of Sky and now of TalkTV - went that extra mile in the silly season (on hold because of Boris really) by making the news herself.

 

Kate was hosting the latest TV debate showdown for PM between Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss. 

 

Ms Truss was banging on about standing up to Putin in Ukraine when there was a loud crash. The look on Truss’s face was a picture to behold!

 

 

It was our Kate fainting. The broadcast was promptly curtailed and a rematch mooted. 

 

I can only imagine that Kate - who was none the worse for wear - just fell asleep, those Tories really are that boring.  

 

Also in England they are holding the Women’s Football Euros to take up the EPL silly season slack. The Lionesses beat Sweden 4-0 in the semis.

 

The BBC said this could lead to England’s 56 year trophy drought being over. No, Aunty. That will only occur if Harry Kane lifts the World Cup in catarrh. 

 

 

Even then, none other than Eric Cantona said that the human rights record of the arab nation and all the people who have died in stadium construction makes it not a real world cup in his eyes. Agreed.

 

Catarrh bought the tourney after massive corruption at FIFA in which the Thai FA played their scurrilous part.

 

 

I never write the name of the country with a Q. I always feel like clearing my throat instead. Nasty, nasty place - appropriately enough just a stone’s throw from Saudi, equally vile. 

 

Back in Thailand the king turned 70 on Thursday and everybody had a much needed break. It'd been an age since the last five day holiday two weeks ago. 

 

Rooster didn’t take any time off, instead bravely soldiering on translating stories from the Thai press who enjoyed lifting “hanging wire” and “food dramas” from TikTok and Facebook.

 

 

In Samut Prakan two motorcyclists came off due to the former. Yawn.

 

While one poster in the latter thought they’d got a decent dinner delivery until they saw that the “phat phet” just covered more rice underneath. 

 

 

It’s come to this.

 

Silly indeed.

 

Rooster

 

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Edited 19 hours ago by webfact

[BritManToo]

Good photo of Anutin, someone just needs to photoshop a trough in place of the plant for it to be perfect ....... oink oink!

Edited July 30, 2022 by BritManToo

[MyFriend You]

2 hours ago, webfact said:

“Ministry of Just Ice”. 

Good one and approriate.................Thanx for rerurning my Friday to me............I can now enjoy the weekend without worrying about "Where is Rooster"        Peace

[Ponlamai]

Best one yet, keep it coming my friends.

[findlay13]

"There are plenty of safeguards to stop recreational use among youth and protect people’s health. "

 This being Thailand I am sure you're correct Rooster

????

 

[klauskunkel]

On 7/30/2022 at 9:13 AM, webfact said:

backdrop to their meeting said “Minist y of Justice”.

Mini sty: A pigpen for piglets

[Scott]

Trolling remark reported and removed.  

 

[Mark mark]

"The silly season was so silly that even Rooster was stumped for words. I felt like another break this week, but you’re stuck with me" ...

 

But, ... Do not worry Good Brother Rooster !!!... it could be worse, ... I have not Read your whole column yet, but I will take a Punt on Staying On Topic, with just a tad of Recent other stuff From TV ... Well AN now, right. ... (But well ? Keeping with your theme pretty well I think ???)

 

... So I see that They are keeping Ganga Legal for "the" (Woops, almost said WE) smokers !!!  ... and thanks !!! .... Nice the first government in the world to just show some common sense on this issue !!! .... But well they are now seriously talking about ??? Prosecuting any one selling it, who does not have a 20 K (Or was it 30 ?) Bart License !!! Ho Hum ...  So where are we going to get what is now legal ??? ... if few People will be legally allowed to sell it ???   Oh Yessss, from the Government sellers ? right !!! ... If you can find one, and one with reasonable Prices, I am sure ???) .... It is Just a simple herb after all ??? ... that grown in the Garden !!! ... (God Dam It !!!) 

 

Yes the moderated "Well yes, legalize it !!!  ... and then Tax it, ... Hey what a good idea" !!! Brigade fires up as usual, ....  ... Well they are obviously NOT smokers I think ??? .... And God Bless those Kind Government people, that are really stepping up to Protect our freedoms !!! ??? Right ??? ???? (Not, Right, ... ... Just trying to rip us all off again !!!) ...

 

Yes the silly season actually does not ever end you know, if you look at it I think Rooster ??? ... It just gets Busier some times !!!  Right, .... 

[Stargeezr]

Rooster, great to see you did not take too much time off. I have to content myself with the 2 video clips

to make it through the week.  Just not the same at all. Since my drug is caffeine and an occasional beer or two,

  I am not very affected with the new Thailand Freedom situation. Plus if I do not have any weed on me

then I hopefully do not have some planted to make my life miserable, on my departure of the land of smiles

back to the Frozen Winter or early Spring of Canada. At least you lucky people in Thailand are not forced to

pay a carbon tax like we are. Cheers.

Harvey