Child support and alimony

[Lolothai]

Hi everyone,

 

I already posted on this subject but I would like more information.

My thai wife left me one year ago for a rich thai guy, I took my kids and went to France for two months, came back, she took one of our 2 kids with her. It turn out that her boyfriend wasn't that rich and she made a credit with our car to invest in his business, she doesn't like him for other reason than money, she came back with me (never asked me one baht however) but she kept a link with him to try to get back the money he took her. I could not accept that she had sex for money with him again so I decided to break up.

• We were married at Bang Rak

• The land was bought 2 months before marriage

• The house was build part by part over few years after the marriage

• Construction has to be in her name as I have never seen any document

• Chanot is in her name

• I don’t have proof of payment unless my bank can get a payment history from 10 years ago

• We have 2 children together, aged 6 and 7 year old, one born 4 months before marriage and the other after marriage

• All the birth certificates and documents for the children are with me

• My name is on both birth certificates, also we corrected my name few months ago on the birth certificate of my 7 year old.

• I bought a car in her name too

• She has never work except at a massage parlor for 2 years one year ago, she was performing prostitution there and I was aware of it. I was worried that if I was leaving for work she would bring a man in our house and I was right.

• She made a credit using our car to give money to her boyfriend to invest in his business

• She married her boyfriend at the temple, I have all the pictures that she posted on facebook. Unofficial marriage.
• She now live in our house with her boyfriend her mother, brother, niece and one of our daughter

 

I contacted a lawyer who told me that she could pretend that the land was for sin sod and last week she told me that I answer that she could make up any lie it would not matter but it does matter... so the lawyer told me that she would probably keep everything and that I would still have to pay for child support.

I'm making around 60 000 per month good month 65 000 really bad one 55 000, how much could she asked me for alimony and child support?

The money would go for her mother, brother and boyfriend who are all enjoying the house it took me 10 years to build. Make me so depressed and I need to work.

[norfolkandchance]

This'll run again.

[FritsSikkink]

Sue her for adultery: Adultery in Thailand - Mike Green (mikeinvestigation.com)

Family and Marriage Law in Thailand for Foreigners | Thai Family and Marriage Law (thailandlawonline.com)

[fredwiggy]

Should have stayed in France with the kids, thinking they have France citizenship, but that means nothing now anyway. Marrying a prostitute will only get you this kind of story. I married a regular Thai national and it cost me enough heartache to last a long time, and the only way things will be right is when I bring my daughter to the US permanently. Land can't be owned by foreigners here so that's a dead issue. The house is usually in the wife's name but you can get part to half of it, if it can be sold, meaning not on government land. If it's on her land, as it seems to be, you can fight for anything built or bought after the marriage date. Proving you paid for things is needed, as a lawyer will need that to have a case for you. Receipts, money transfers before items were bought, anything from the builder in your name etc. There isn't a specific law for alimony here, but expect to pay child support unless you can get custody, which is extremely hard here, as the wife is favored. Joint custody is usually given, and you will be asked to pay monthly. I have that, and pay 5000 baht a month for one child. If you can prove adultery you might have a stronger case but judges here are still prejudiced against the men unless you have proof she's done something illegal around the child. It isn't like the US where I'm from, where men, including me, get custody if they can prove they are in a better place with you. She can say you gave the house, car, etc as gifts but you can still retract that and ask for a split. Best it seems you can hope for is joint custody, child support to her, and you rent close so you can be part of the kids lives. They are important, she isn't to you anymore. You are a lot better off than staying with that kind.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

Marrying a prostitute will only get you this kind of story.

I got that kind of story from marrying a Brit Christian Virgin schoolteacher.

It's what women do to their husbands!

 

I don't believe a woman's previous occupation gives any indication of how she'll behave when she tires of you.

 

I agree with the Thai men on this topic, walk away never see your kids again, and never send money. If you get a child maint. award against you, just give up working.

Edited February 27, 2023 by BritManToo

[fredwiggy]

11 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I got that kind of story from marrying a Brit Christian Virgin schoolteacher.

It's what women do to their husbands!

 

I don't believe a woman's previous occupation gives any indication of how she'll behave when she tires of you.

 

I agree with the Thai men on this topic, walk away never see your kids again, and never send money. If you get a child maint. award against you, just give up working.

Better to actually be a man, and take responsibility of the children you make, one of the main things wrong here and a huge reason kids grow up messed up is having no father around. If you don't want kids, have sex with birth control, simple. Your comment on Thai men walking away doesn't work. A boy walks away after sex and a child. A man stays and raises the kids made from it. What a person's past is  what they've become. People don't really change what they are . By the time you reach 30, your personality and how you act is ingrained, and it takes a lot to change a person's character after then. A woman that has had many men doesn't look at any as special, and that's a big reason someone stays with another person for the long run. Everyone's looks fade, and only if you look at someone as a person and not a body to use, will you want to stay with that person, and them with you. Otherwise it's just a transaction without feelings, and that always gets old. People get bored with others for this reason exactly. They are boring themselves and need constant attention and entertainment and think money can buy others. It can, and that makes them a thing, a purchase, and not a human being. A woman , if she's not a lunatic, mentally ill or so hurt by her past that she can't open her heart, will treat a man well. Men don't do well when they get old by themselves. You can buy most anything in this life, including people, but that doesn't help you with loneliness. Ask yourself how you treated that Brit Christian Virgin Schoolteacher. Was it with love, respect, honor,and loyalty, and did you help raise the kids you made? Your attitude and opinions on women here and in the past shows me what probably happened.

Edited February 28, 2023 by fredwiggy

[BritManToo]

11 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Everyone's looks fade, and only if you look at someone as a person and not a body to use, will you want to stay with that person, and them with you.

Back in Oman, men can divorce women very easily, but women can't divorce men.

Result = no divorce, because men generally don't divorce women (unless forced).

 

The OP has 2 choices,

1. He can be weak and submit to female blackmail by children for the rest of his life.

2. He can walk away and try again.

 

Thought you were divorced 4x?

As for loneliness, I bought 3 rabbits and I'm never lonely.

Edited February 28, 2023 by BritManToo

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Back in Oman, men can divorce women very easily, but women can't divorce men.

Result = no divorce, because men generally don't divorce women (unless forced).

 

The OP has 2 choices,

1. He can be weak and submit to female blackmail by children for the rest of his life.

2. He can walk away and try again.

 

Thought you were divorced 4x?

As for loneliness, I bought 3 rabbits and I'm never lonely.

Local laws sometimes hurt men or women. That's from ignorance and bias. A man isn't weak if he leaves a bad woman, nor if he pays child support. He has a choice to keep those kids in his life, and they need him. Divorcing a mentally ill woman is necessary, especially if it's a mental illness that is very hard or impossible to treat, and they don't care to help themselves. You don't divorce your kids.

[fredwiggy]

3 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

 

 

Edited February 28, 2023 by fredwiggy

[FritsSikkink]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I got that kind of story from marrying a Brit Christian Virgin schoolteacher.

It's what women do to their husbands!

 

I don't believe a woman's previous occupation gives any indication of how she'll behave when she tires of you.

 

I agree with the Thai men on this topic, walk away never see your kids again, and never send money. If you get a child maint. award against you, just give up working.

Your trouble with woman shouldn't reflect on the relations with your children, abandoning them, don't support them financially so you have more money to look for and pay young woman to be with you is lousy parenting. Problems mostly come from 2 sides.

Edited February 28, 2023 by FritsSikkink

[BritManToo]

18 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

Problems mostly come from 2 sides.

My problems only came from one side (hers).

If it had been my choice I'd still be with her and my former kids.

No need for my support (beyond the $1M she got in the divorce), the state will provide.

 

Think the OP is in the same boat.

Edited February 28, 2023 by BritManToo

[FritsSikkink]

6 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My problems only came from one side (hers).

If it had been my choice I'd still be with her and my former kids.

No need for my support (beyond the $1M she got in the divorce), the state will provide.

 

Think the OP is in the same boat.

Children need emotional support too. 

[fredwiggy]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My problems only came from one side (hers).

If it had been my choice I'd still be with her and my former kids.

No need for my support (beyond the $1M she got in the divorce), the state will provide.

 

Think the OP is in the same boat.

What problems did she give you, so we can understand why . And you can always be near your kids unless she kidnaps them, illegally, and hides them, as my ex here did until I filed for divorce and she was forced to bring my daughter back. Nothing was done to her, as parental kidnapping here doesn't exist, which is another reason things aren't right. If she took my daughter away for no reason, which she did, in the US, she would still be in jail and only allowed supervised visitation. Of course the judge, being biased, gave only joint custody, with her having her more days than I, and i pay support. Kids don't want money from dads, they want time, especially until they are teenagers, and they naturally push parents away and want cash.

[BritManToo]

7 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

What problems did she give you, so we can understand why .

She said she'd kill them if I ever tried to see them again ....... and I believed her.

[n00dle]

16 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

unless you can get custody, which is extremely hard here, as the wife is favored.

Utter nonsense, the thai courts are very definitely the child's corner and likely to select the parent that gives them the best advantages. It is the same when it comes to employment issues.

 

 

16 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Marrying a prostitute will only get you this kind of story. I married a regular Thai national and it cost me enough heartache to last a long time,

well, which is it?

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

She said she'd kill them if I ever tried to see them again ....... and I believed her.

Kinda naive of you. And not an excuse by any means. There are police in the UK right? If my ex said that to me, I'd take the kids and go to the law and make a complaint, because that's a legitimate risk. The court sets up visitation anyway, so she wouldn't have a choice, and visitation is always given to parents if they want it, and the other parent has no say in the matter, unless the other parent is somehow a risk, which would need proof.

[fredwiggy]

17 minutes ago, n00dle said:

Utter nonsense, the thai courts are very definitely the child's corner and likely to select the parent that gives them the best advantages. It is the same when it comes to employment issues.

 

 

well, which is it?

Men rarely get custody here unless the wife doesn't want the kids. How many Thai men want custody? How many foreigners want custody? I've talked to 7 divorce attorneys before I used one, and they all said the same thing. One is a Canadian who has practiced here for over 15 years. My ex didn't work, had two kids she gave away at 9 and 10, and contributed nothing to the house . I get SS monthly, had custody of my other 4 kids in the US, and paid for everything. I'm 100% the better choice, but the judge didn't see it that way. He spoke good English, and said she was wrong for taking the child and absconding, and told her she did it again, she would go to jail, and our child has to stay in our area Like I mentioned earlier, if she did this in the US, she would lose all custody and be jailed. As for the latter reply, I gave him advice that it doesn't matter who you marry, or divorce, the kids should still be taken care of by the dad also. And if the dad is the better choice, as in my case, that's where the kids should end up, no matter how long it takes.

Edited February 28, 2023 by fredwiggy

[Lolothai]

After talking with few lawyers I feel that I'm not in a position to bargain much. So I call my "wife" don't know how to call her now and ask her to come to live all together where I work.

She doesn't like city, she loves the freedom of country side, I supposed she wanted to dump me and replace me with another man, rich man and live a happy life in the house I build over the 10 years together, she thought she got lucky because her boyfriend lives few km away but he tricked her for money, he probably can pay her decently but she doesn't like his style. They are sleeping and <deleted>..ing in my bed, using my stuff, enjoying the comfortable house I made for my kids. Their is no rooms for my kids because she gave it to her mother, brother and niece, I was keeping them away before for some reasons, the brother is ok though.

She will stay 3 more weeks with him in our house and then move in with me here.

She is not too hot to move here as she doesn't like city so I have to find a quiet place, I told her she could come back to our house (her house now) anytime she wanted to resource herself, maybe get in touch with her boyfriend to get some extra income but she could easily do this kind of stuff around here, she spoke long hours about how disgust she is by her boyfriend, small guy, can't get hard, bad breath, stupid, annoying etc etc

Since I left this house she feels it's her home, she can make a mess of everything, she is free and I made a wonderful garden, she has power there, she has freedom too and since she took the car I bought for the family for herself and her boyfriend it gives her even more freedom. So it's a bit of a challenge to make her feel good in a rented house, I will try my best for her to feel it's a bit her place too, let her trash stuff around, I like to organize and it would <deleted> her off. The week end we will move outside anyway and even during the week I will bring them to the park or some nice places.

She was not a prostitute when I met her, she started this to blackmail me 3 years ago, so around 6 years after the beginning of our relation. She did it 2 years but now I think if we are not together she will be more into sponsors suckers kind of guys. She found some "good hearted" guys who were sending around 30 000 just to see her sometimes on the webcam, it's pathetic on every level.

I really wanted a happy functional family, with me working hard to provide for my family and make my wife comfortable and happy but each times she was using the money for her mother's credit it was making me bitter, I was working far from home and didn't have life, I was faithful and bored. I fuc... up quite well, a lot of bad choices, misplaced trust in my wife etc.

My two daughters are very happy, they are very active girls, I'm still living with my oldest (7 year old) she is like my best friend too, the younger one is my twins but she is kind of autistic, she doesn't control her emotion very well, when she loves or hate it's to the death, which is super cute because she is a tiny thing. We would need to bring her to the doctor, I thought my wife would do it but she was busy with her "businesses".

When we are all together we are very happy, we really have wonderful family time, my "wife" is not annoying, she is quiet but active in same time, we can speak about everything, sex is great, she likes to travel like me and she is in awe every time we discover something new. There is a long list of things I love in her but she is selfish and she is compulsive liar, unfaithful when it benefits her too.

I will have to close my eyes on this, to don't show it makes me bitter, maybe when I'm rich enough I can find a gik and it would be much easier to accept what she is doing or did. It's not the life I'm dreaming of but there is worse.

I'm kind of her slave in a way now and to get my freedom I better to work hard and maybe in my 50's I will be free and hopefully no condom will break.

I'm not proud of who I am but I have to pay for my mistakes too, I trusted her, I invested in our family while giving her power and control, I thought it would give her confidence and that to be trusted would make her more honest. It gave her confidence indeed, the confidence to take it all for herself. I manage to give a quite stable life to my daughters for 6 years at least, they were in private school, free and very happy. Since she decided to go with this guy, I have lost at least 200 000 precious bahts and she managed to get a debt of 200 000 bahts that I will have to cover. Our daughters were in public school as I have absolutely no money since this story.

I'm working and I'm going to pay for private school here, cover her debt and rent a decent house. I suppose I can still make them happy and myself will find some sunny times but no honor was gain in the process.

Sorry for this long life story but who know maybe someone will find it interesting.

 

 

 

 

[n00dle]

6 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I get SS monthly, had custody of my other 4 kids in the US

ah, you are a geriatric. nuff said.

[fredwiggy]

5 minutes ago, Lolothai said:

After talking with few lawyers I feel that I'm not in a position to bargain much. So I call my "wife" don't know how to call her now and ask her to come to live all together where I work.

She doesn't like city, she loves the freedom of country side, I supposed she wanted to dump me and replace me with another man, rich man and live a happy life in the house I build over the 10 years together, she thought she got lucky because her boyfriend lives few km away but he tricked her for money, he probably can pay her decently but she doesn't like his style. They are sleeping and <deleted>..ing in my bed, using my stuff, enjoying the comfortable house I made for my kids. Their is no rooms for my kids because she gave it to her mother, brother and niece, I was keeping them away before for some reasons, the brother is ok though.

She will stay 3 more weeks with him in our house and then move in with me here.

She is not too hot to move here as she doesn't like city so I have to find a quiet place, I told her she could come back to our house (her house now) anytime she wanted to resource herself, maybe get in touch with her boyfriend to get some extra income but she could easily do this kind of stuff around here, she spoke long hours about how disgust she is by her boyfriend, small guy, can't get hard, bad breath, stupid, annoying etc etc

Since I left this house she feels it's her home, she can make a mess of everything, she is free and I made a wonderful garden, she has power there, she has freedom too and since she took the car I bought for the family for herself and her boyfriend it gives her even more freedom. So it's a bit of a challenge to make her feel good in a rented house, I will try my best for her to feel it's a bit her place too, let her trash stuff around, I like to organize and it would <deleted> her off. The week end we will move outside anyway and even during the week I will bring them to the park or some nice places.

She was not a prostitute when I met her, she started this to blackmail me 3 years ago, so around 6 years after the beginning of our relation. She did it 2 years but now I think if we are not together she will be more into sponsors suckers kind of guys. She found some "good hearted" guys who were sending around 30 000 just to see her sometimes on the webcam, it's pathetic on every level.

I really wanted a happy functional family, with me working hard to provide for my family and make my wife comfortable and happy but each times she was using the money for her mother's credit it was making me bitter, I was working far from home and didn't have life, I was faithful and bored. I fuc... up quite well, a lot of bad choices, misplaced trust in my wife etc.

My two daughters are very happy, they are very active girls, I'm still living with my oldest (7 year old) she is like my best friend too, the younger one is my twins but she is kind of autistic, she doesn't control her emotion very well, when she loves or hate it's to the death, which is super cute because she is a tiny thing. We would need to bring her to the doctor, I thought my wife would do it but she was busy with her "businesses".

When we are all together we are very happy, we really have wonderful family time, my "wife" is not annoying, she is quiet but active in same time, we can speak about everything, sex is great, she likes to travel like me and she is in awe every time we discover something new. There is a long list of things I love in her but she is selfish and she is compulsive liar, unfaithful when it benefits her too.

I will have to close my eyes on this, to don't show it makes me bitter, maybe when I'm rich enough I can find a gik and it would be much easier to accept what she is doing or did. It's not the life I'm dreaming of but there is worse.

I'm kind of her slave in a way now and to get my freedom I better to work hard and maybe in my 50's I will be free and hopefully no condom will break.

I'm not proud of who I am but I have to pay for my mistakes too, I trusted her, I invested in our family while giving her power and control, I thought it would give her confidence and that to be trusted would make her more honest. It gave her confidence indeed, the confidence to take it all for herself. I manage to give a quite stable life to my daughters for 6 years at least, they were in private school, free and very happy. Since she decided to go with this guy, I have lost at least 200 000 precious bahts and she managed to get a debt of 200 000 bahts that I will have to cover. Our daughters were in public school as I have absolutely no money since this story.

I'm working and I'm going to pay for private school here, cover her debt and rent a decent house. I suppose I can still make them happy and myself will find some sunny times but no honor was gain in the process.

Sorry for this long life story but who know maybe someone will find it interesting.

 

 

 

 

A lot of women here leave once the boyfriend leaves and they give the kids to grandma to raise. Thailand leads the world in kids raised by grandparents and it's a big cause for problems for the kids later in life. Mine gave two away and will eventually, if not already, bet bored with my 6 year old, and I'll take her to the US for a much better life. She's a US citizen so it won't be a problem anyway. You should look into just going back to France with the kids, as it looks like she's more interested in the latest man than a family. Wanting her cake and eating it too sometimes isn't good for children. She's cheated so in my book she's out. Your 7 year old shouldn't be your best friend, nor at any age. You are the father, and have to be one. They need a father and not another friend. Like mentioned earlier, if you can prove infidelity, it will help with custody, and she might not fight it anyway. If a lawyer told you it's ok for her to be living with another man while she's still married, he's an idiot, find another. Staying with a woman that lies will only bring heartbreak for you, and teach the kids it's okay that mom does this. They need stability, not a lying, cheating, greedy mom. Raising a  child is hard enough in a divorce. Sex is great with her, while she's having it with a Thai man, who is most likely having it elsewhere, which is dangerous to you, isn't an excuse to stay. There are millions of women everywhere that are faithful, and that would appreciate a good, working man. Get proof now what she's doing. When you go for custody, you'll need everything you can get because of the bias here. Think of what you'll be teaching your kids if you allow this to continue as they age.

[fredwiggy]

14 minutes ago, n00dle said:

ah, you are a geriatric. nuff said.

Actually a former bodybuilder that still looks in my 40's at 66, and have worked out for 45 years, weight training and training others until I moved here 5 years ago. Still going to the gym weekly. Not a barstool philosopher by any means.

[n00dle]

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Actually a former bodybuilder that still looks in my 40's at 66, and have worked out for 45 years, weight training and training others until I moved here 5 years ago. Still going to the gym weekly. Not a barstool philosopher by any means.

uh huh. not a day over 40. you are a catch.

Who said anything about a barstool? 

 

 

You have quite the moralistic streak, dontcha?

Edited February 28, 2023 by n00dle

[fredwiggy]

A barstool philosopher is like a couch quarterback. Making opinions and not going by facts, with little to no experience in matters.A barstool philosopher is like a couch quarterback. Making opinions and not going by facts, with little to no experience in matters.

6 minutes ago, n00dle said:

uh huh. not a day over 40. you are a catch.

Who said anything about a barstool? 

 

 

You have quite the moralistic streak, dontcha?

A catch is a man who treats women like a man should, not a boy who uses them and leaves. Morals, and the lack of, are the reason for the world's problems, wouldn't you agree? The breakdown of families, narcissistic alpha males, and loose women who don't want to be moms to the kids they make, are the reason this world is going downhill so fast.

Edited February 28, 2023 by fredwiggy

[fredwiggy]

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

 

 

Edited February 28, 2023 by fredwiggy

[FritsSikkink]

44 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

She said she'd kill them if I ever tried to see them again ....... and I believed her.

Why would she kill them if you would see them again? What happened to cause this statement? Why would you believe this from a Brit Christian Virgin schoolteacher?

[n00dle]

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

narcissistic alpha males, and loose women who don't want to be moms to the kids they make, are the reason this world is going downhill so fast

Id say smug virtue signaling contributes its fair share too,

[fredwiggy]

2 minutes ago, n00dle said:

Id say smug virtue signaling contributes its fair share too,

Opinions mean nothing. Facts stand. I don't make opinions because they wouldn't matter. Researching always helps before you post. It is what it is.

[n00dle]

7 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Opinions mean nothing. Facts stand. I don't make opinions because they wouldn't matter. Researching always helps before you post. It is what it is.

Facts stand huh, I must have missed the part where you quoted your sources. 

Your dense walls of text are nothing but opinions. All i see is you telling other people how to live their lives despite your own failures. 

Smacks of narcissistic delusion to me.

Edited February 28, 2023 by n00dle

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, n00dle said:

I must have missed the part where you quoted your sources. 

Comes from reading 65 books and thousands of articles on marriage, understanding women, raising children, how morality is lacking, depression and treatments, narcissism, both covert and malignant, over the last 30 years from authors that were (are) counselors and psychiatrists. Gary Smalley, John Gray, Doctor Laura, Steve Harvey, Dr. Aaron T Beck, Gary Chapman, Harville Hendrix,John Gottman among many others.

[Gottfrid]

5 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Local laws sometimes hurt men or women. That's from ignorance and bias. A man isn't weak if he leaves a bad woman, nor if he pays child support. He has a choice to keep those kids in his life, and they need him. Divorcing a mentally ill woman is necessary, especially if it's a mental illness that is very hard or impossible to treat, and they don't care to help themselves. You don't divorce your kids.

Let´s say like this to make it easy! As one makes his bed, one must lie on it. ????

There are also people that say: The last - - - - - is not born yet. (Not that I ever would say such thing)