35 minutes ago, JackGats said:

That's what I find scary in marriage (beside misandric family law): finding myself in continued bondage long after the incentives for tying the knot are gone.

 

Perhaps a new incentive will arise. Friend of mine felt that way until he had his (predictable) heart attack. Wife saved him and has spent about 4 very long months helping take care of him in rehab. He had no one else. It was an incredible fight on her part as he's suffered brain damage, has delusions, can't remember where he is, and fights with the docs and nurses, 'cause they're all cheating him (sound familiar?) and making him do stuff, like get out of bed and walk. Wife helps him to the toilet and back. 

 

He's recovered enough now to imagine that he's recovered and is back home now, where she has to watch his diet and make sure he doesn't run off to pig out, drink, and smoke. He IS finally grateful for her help and happy to be alive. 

My wife came into bedroom wearing her school uniform.

"Do I look sexy" she asked.

I replied "No love. You look like a slow learner"

A few footnotes.
Sexual temporary relationships were mentioned. Easyly possible in Thailand. It's just that those temporary "female companions" disappear as soon as the Farang truly needs them (health or otherwise). To end up alone and sick in old age is probably the sadest ending for any Farang in Thailand.
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The benefits of old age were mentioned. Only if ones physical and mental health remains intact. I visit my older brother regularily at a rest home. Every time I leave, I suffer a mild trauma. All I see there are old folks sitting in the day room, staring into space. Nobody talks, nobody reads a newspaper, TV is running, nobody watching it. = The other side of "The golden years" I am afraid.
----------More:
Old ghosts that haunt us: There is a frequent poster here (the one that loves Thai Beaches). Most of us know his story. He has "Loved and Lost" in old age plus having lost a good part of his earthly assets. Clearly, a "double whammy". The old wisdom "Time heals all wounds" may work for most of us, but clearly not for the poster I am referring to. I wish it wasn's so because I can relate. In my younger years I have also "Loved and Lost". For many years "Time refused to heal my wounds" until I met my current wife. I experianced "instant healing". Very much according to a Rolling Stones text "an other girl will take my pain away". It worked instantly. Never looking back. Might this work for said poster as well?

 

On 4/1/2023 at 7:36 PM, billd766 said:

There is nothing there to enjoy.

 

I am already deeply there at 78 and for me the arthritis is the worst.

Cannabis is very good for arthritis, I've had no problems for the past 18 months.

Pain gone, swelling gone, strength in fingers returned.

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Cannabis is very good for arthritis, I've had no problems for the past 18 months.

Pain gone, swelling gone, strength in fingers returned.

Everyone is different, cannabis really does nothing for me. Interferes with my balance. IME morphine is ineffective too.

OTOH, I have found kratom is marvelous stuff for my back and legs. Half a cup of kratom extract, and I am swinging a golf club as if I was a teenager.

 

10 hours ago, swissie said:

Old ghosts that haunt us: There is a frequent poster here (the one that loves Thai Beaches). Most of us know his story. He has "Loved and Lost" in old age plus having lost a good part of his earthly assets. Clearly, a "double whammy". The old wisdom "Time heals all wounds" may work for most of us, but clearly not for the poster I am referring to. I wish it wasn's so because I can relate. In my younger years I have also "Loved and Lost". For many years "Time refused to heal my wounds" until I met my current wife. I experianced "instant healing". Very much according to a Rolling Stones text "an other girl will take my pain away". It worked instantly. Never looking back. Might this work for said poster as well?

Thanks for the concern, but alas I can never live in LOS again and such just ain't happening in this country ( the only women available to me look like grannies, and I'm never going there ).

Even if I could afford to live in LOS I couldn't cover serious medical bills, which is the reason I left Thailand in the first place.

 

Not to worry though, it is what it is and I have no problem with embarking on the next great adventure.

On 4/2/2023 at 8:58 PM, Walker88 said:

One of the reason older people become feeble is because they lose strength. They are more prone to falling and more prone to osteoporosis, tendon and ligament damage. Cognition declines because O2-carrying blood flow to the brain slows.

You just posted what is very relevant to me.

I have become clumsy, and unsteady, and acquired a troublesome, painful, dominant arm, which seems more about tendon or ligament damage than joint pain. The arm problem is severe if it prevents me doing any projects, as they are my life now. If I can't do something useful ( I recently made a few garden planter boxes for a friend ) I will get depressed, which will lead to other problems, such as overeating.

While I am not nearly as strong as I used to be I'm no weakling, but if not used I'll lose it.

As for mental problems, just the usual- forgetfulness, getting things wrong etc.

On 4/2/2023 at 10:18 AM, rumak said:

and Rumak ?   same petit size as when 20   (now 72)

Doing good then. If you happen to have any interest in further (serious) reading, PM and I'll send you a link to a .zip containing a number of e-books I've found beneficial or reinforcing.  

5 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Cannabis is very good for arthritis, I've had no problems for the past 18 months.

Pain gone, swelling gone, strength in fingers returned.

So is Indomethacin (Indomethacin) at 1.5 thb per 100mg tablet, and it is cheaper than cannabis plus it is an OTC medicine and not addictive.

1 hour ago, BigStar said:

Doing good then. If you happen to have any interest in further (serious) reading, PM and I'll send you a link to a .zip containing a number of e-books I've found beneficial or reinforcing.  

Actually i was just thinking........ of offering consulting services regarding "how to be the middle human. " (not the perfect human) .   The procedure would be to evaluate the physical/ mental/ and emotional status of an individual  and then I ..RUMAK...  would suggest ways to improve what exists.

Disclaimer:   this procedure requires a lot of listening and little talking.  (as both can not be done at the same time)  .  Periodic follow ups would be advised as Rumak himself is always evolving (less slowly now .. in my golden years  :-)............. .

I do not do "serious reading" ,  but i enjoy hearing others opinions if presented in a 25 words or less format .  Keeps me balanced :  rolling eyes, laughs,  and neck stretching .    

Yours truly..... Rumak

12 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Thanks for the concern, but alas I can never live in LOS again and such just ain't happening in this country ( the only women available to me look like grannies, and I'm never going there ).

Even if I could afford to live in LOS I couldn't cover serious medical bills, which is the reason I left Thailand in the first place.

 

Not to worry though, it is what it is and I have no problem with embarking on the next great adventure.

I left Thailand for the same reasons you did. Just in time. Shortly after I got "home", I accumulated massive medical bills. My Thai health insurance (covering 3 million Bht) would not have covered my hospital bills. I would have gone bankrupt in Thailand.

Remarkably, when I left Thailand I wasn't ill in any way. I will never know if it was destiny, a gut feeling or just pure luck that made me leave Thailand "just in time".

Other than that, in spite of it all, you seem to be "holding up" quite well. I too have found out that accepting "it is what it is" is helpful. Leaving the door open for potential new adventures (great or small).

On 4/6/2023 at 2:28 AM, swissie said:

I left Thailand for the same reasons you did. Just in time. Shortly after I got "home", I accumulated massive medical bills. My Thai health insurance (covering 3 million Bht) would not have covered my hospital bills. I would have gone bankrupt in Thailand.

Remarkably, when I left Thailand I wasn't ill in any way. I will never know if it was destiny, a gut feeling or just pure luck that made me leave Thailand "just in time".

Other than that, in spite of it all, you seem to be "holding up" quite well. I too have found out that accepting "it is what it is" is helpful. Leaving the door open for potential new adventures (great or small).

Congratulations on leaving in time then. We in the medical/ nursing trade do have occasional successes.

 

As for accepting "what it is" what other choice is there?

The hardest part is accepting that I no longer control my life, as I can't earn my way anymore, so other agencies control what I am able to do or not do.

At least, every day I wake up without having a stroke is a good day. I knew an independent type farmer that had a stroke. IMO the loss of independence killed him rather than the stroke, as he was doing it very hard to accept.

Yes. Approx 7,665 days marriage.

Sex does dry up.

We do get old but maybe not realise it.????????