You can take the girl out of the bar, but can you take the bar out of the girl?

[FarAway]

6 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

They want to make it about 14 year olds because they know that they don't have enough on you with a 16 year old.

 

They need to massage the facts to give them fuel for the character assassination.  So it "kids" instead of "adolescents" and suddenly 14 is slipped in to make it sound worse than 16.

 

It's an odd obsession.

 

As I said before, criticise someone all you like for what they have actually done, but throwing in a load of different facts to try and make it sound like someone did something different to what they actually did is not on, imo.

 

It's obviously all aimed at one user.  And you have these two patting each other on the back talking about paedophiles and actual children being abused as if that is the same.

 

While it might be legally okay to have an 18 year old wife as a 40-50 year old man, it is still morally completely wrong and just disgusting. That woman could be the daughter of the man.

I am feeling sick just looking at "couples" like that, cannot imagine how deep and dirty these "couples" must feel deep inside them.

I get happy when I see a 40-50 year old man with a similar aged woman, even better when they are seniors. That is cute, that is real love, that is a real bond that kept humanity together for thousands of years.

 

Back in the days with healthy families and normal men and women, the age gap between a man and a woman (no LGBTQ back then as well :) ) was really NEVER more than 10 years, usually 5 or less.

That is how it is supposed to be.

 

Anything else is just abuse. Even if when the woman is getting older and doing a conscious decision, it is then a both-sided abuse. The old guy abuses the woman for her body, the woman abuses the old guy for his money.

Again all of this is legal when she is 18, but it is still disgusting and just wrong.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

27 minutes ago, FarAway said:

 

She got used to it already, we often make fun of it now ????

And it is always just the first impression, after that they see how sweet of a woman she is and actually get jealous of me and asking me about Asian women hahah.

Then they see their bitchy "modern" Western gfs with tattoos and love going to Festivals and whatsoever and compare them and see that the first impression can be deceiving.

But then In need to say I was lucky as well, or lets say destiny brought us together. Not many woman like her in modern Asia left, but overall still much better than the Modern West. 

But if I would not have my awesome pure wife from Thailand already, I would know where to search for a good woman in 2023: The Middle East. Muslim Countries. They still keep their wifes in check.

 

Because sure much of this is gone nowadays, especially in prostitute heaven Thailand, but when seeing how my wife got educated by her parents what it means to be a good woman, it is 100% opposite of the Modern West.

There the women are educated to be "free independent boss b**ches", follow career and that men are their enemies and what not.. my wife got educated to be a good housewife, mother and to keep herself pure.

That is how I want my daughter to grow up as well.

 

 

And how your wife is, most likely your daughter will grow and end up.

So my daughter will be pure, a good housewife and mother and do not care about brand names or any other luxury with a lovely character.

While the daughters of the farangs with the bargirls.. well.. most likely their daughter will be similar to their mothers as well ???? ???? ????

This topic seems to veer from one extreme to the other. I don't buy that a girl who has sold her body is impure or any of that c r a p. All I say is statistically she may have more difficulties coping with emotions and trust compared to average. But she will likely know people better than others in a different way. Some woman are tough and smart and have a sense of humour and will learn from their past .. others would struggle. 

How dare anyone belittle people as though they are some sort of trash. 

To hold up muslim relationships as the gold standard, because men know how to handle women, is depressing. You REALLY think women have a different brain or whatever that they can't fend and stand up and think for themselves. You think it would be fun to cover your body all day in the hot sun while your husband goes off with 10 lovers.

See things from a woman's point of view a bit and maybe be happy for them to do their thing. 

Thai women have a femininity that is a bit lacking elsewhere, but they certainly can be painful, irrational, blank, as any other woman around the world. 

As others have said it is nice and easy and predictable at 25 to be idealistic while you are likely young attractive and striving for the future, but life does change and you'll see things a little less black and white in the future, including maybe the perfect role and nature of what a woman should be. 

 

Edited April 7, 2023 by Fat is a type of crazy

[FarAway]

Just now, Fat is a type of crazy said:

This topic seems to veer from one extreme to the other. I don't buy that a girl who has sold her body is impure or any of that c r a p. All I say is statistically she may have more difficulties coping with emotions and trust compared to average. But she will likely know people better than others in a different way. Some woman are tough and smart and have a sense of humour and will learn from their past .. others would struggle. 

How dare anyone belittle people as though they are some sort of trash. 

To hold up muslim relationships as the gold standard, because men know how to handle women is depressing. You REALLY think women have a different brain or whatever that they can't fend and stand up and think for themselves. You think it would be fun to cover your body all day in the hot sun while your husband goes off with 10 lovers.

See things from a woman's point of view a bit and maybe be happy for them to do their thing. 

Thai women have a femininity that is a bit lacking elsewhere, but they certainly can be painful, irrational, blank, as any other woman around the world. 

As others have said it is nice and easy and predictable at 25 to be idealistic while you are likely young attractive and striving for the future, but life does change and you'll see things a little less black and white in the future, including maybe the perfect role and nature of what a woman should be. 

 

Per my definition:

Pure = Virgin
So yes sure, any woman that is selling her body is ABSOLUTELY impure. 

Do not even have words for that.

 

About the rest of your "post", you are brainwashed by Feminism and the modern <deleted>show of humanity.

Just look back 100 years in time in Europe and you will see families worked out back then. Why? Because the women were kept in check.

Weak men like you are the reason why the society in The West is so unbelievably <deleted>**ed up. Again, look at countries with strong men where women are kept in check and you will see healthy families (exceptions prove the rule)

[BangkokReady]

3 minutes ago, FarAway said:

While it might be legally okay to have an 18 year old wife as a 40-50 year old man, it is still morally completely wrong and just disgusting. That woman could be the daughter of the man.

I am feeling sick just looking at "couples" like that, cannot imagine how deep and dirty these "couples" must feel deep inside them.

I get happy when I see a 40-50 year old man with a similar aged woman, even better when they are seniors. That is cute, that is real love, that is a real bond that kept humanity together for thousands of years.

 

Back in the days with healthy families and normal men and women, the age gap between a man and a woman (no LGBTQ back then as well ???? ) was really NEVER more than 10 years, usually 5 or less.

That is how it is supposed to be.

I think you're perfectly within your rights to hold this opinion and to express it.

 

I won't say it's ideal, but I don't go as far as thinking it is abuse.  If they're both adults, etc..

 

I think the main thing is what happens when the guy is 70 and the woman is 50.  That might be a little awkward.

 

The thing is, you're talking about a culture where the romantic type of love doesn't really happen in many cases.  Often Thai men even have a wife and a girlfriend on the side.  And it's not uncommon in any country to see a very ugly man with a beautiful woman.

 

Men and women are different, and surely women are able to be with men who are not particularly attractive for the other things they provide.  What's the harm if the unattractiveness comes from age rather than genetics?

 

If a Thai woman is happy with the age difference and the fact that their partner will die twenty years before them, who are we to judge if she is able to get a much better partner and provide a significantly better future for her children?  The alternative might be much, much worse.

 

Both people are then happier than they would be if they were not together, so why say it shouldn't be so?

 

3 minutes ago, FarAway said:

Anything else is just abuse. Even if when the woman is getting older and doing a conscious decision, it is then a both-sided abuse. The old guy abuses the woman for her body, the woman abuses the old guy for his money.

Again all of this is legal when she is 18, but it is still disgusting and just wrong.

An age-gap relationship is not the only type where this "mutual exploitation" takes place.

 

What you say above might be true in some cases, but if both people are happier with it than they would be without?

[BangkokReady]

9 minutes ago, FarAway said:

Just look back 100 years in time in Europe and you will see families worked out back then. Why? Because the women were kept in check.

It's interesting that you should say this.  Do you know how common age-gap marriages were in Western countries in the past?

[Fat is a type of crazy]

1 minute ago, FarAway said:

Per my definition:

Pure = Virgin
So yes sure, any woman that is selling her body is ABSOLUTELY impure. 

Do not even have words for that.

 

About the rest of your "post", you are brainwashed by Feminism and the modern <deleted>show of humanity.

Just look back 100 years in time in Europe and you will see families worked out back then. Why? Because the women were kept in check.

Weak men like you are the reason why the society in The West is so unbelievably <deleted>**ed up. Again, look at countries with strong men where women are kept in check and you will see healthy families (exceptions prove the rule)

OK. Past traditions may have worked well in a different world. If it works for you and your spouse in 2023 that is fine. Enjoy. 

But it seems like you have almost a religious like faith you are right.

As has been discussed in the God thread, faith is based on hope or laziness or wishful thinking, as are your ideas.  The genie is out of the bottle and women are doing their thing so, unless you are super smart and intelligent and can build a scientific theory why men are best place to control women's freedoms and destinies, I would admit to myself that I am not so smart and concede with dignity that your theories about women's roles are subjective, self serving, and in 2023 potentially immoral. 

 

[FarAway]

Just now, Fat is a type of crazy said:

OK. Past traditions may have worked well in a different world. If it works for you and your spouse in 2023 that is fine. Enjoy. 

But it seems like you have almost a religious like faith you are right.

As has been discussed in the God thread, faith is based on hope or laziness or wishful thinking, as are your ideas.  The genie is out of the bottle and women are doing their thing so, unless you are super smart and intelligent and can build a scientific theory why men are best place to control women's freedoms and destinies, I would admit to myself that I am not so smart and concede with dignity that your theories about women's roles are subjective, self serving, and in 2023 potentially immoral. 

 

 

It is how humanity and families survived for thousands of years.

Just since modern Feminism, clubbing culture, Tinder and all of this took over, families are doomed and relationships are more fragile than ever before.

 

And good that you mention God. I heavily believe in God and that we were being created to live together in the traditional role models. The man is the strong leader, the woman supports him with everything.

 

 

About "science" (who does still believe in it after the last 3 years btw? hahah) I can just emphasize:

 

Men are physically stronger than women.

Men are more rational than women.

Men are more hormonally stable than women.

That is why I strongly believe that men should be the protector and leader of a family and therefore as well be the one who decides everything. 

My wife happily submits to me because she knows that I am doing better decisions than her. As it is with every man and woman, just that people like you do not wanna admit it.

[BangkokReady]

5 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

The genie is out of the bottle and women are doing their thing so, unless you are super smart and intelligent and can build a scientific theory why men are best place to control women's freedoms and destinies, I would admit to myself that I am not so smart and concede with dignity that your theories about women's roles are subjective, self serving, and in 2023 potentially immoral. 

I'm not saying that it has anything to do with men being in charge of what women do, but while modern women are "doing their thing", it's making them unhappier.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/18/womens-rights-happiness-wellbeing-gender-gap

 

https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-the-sexual-revolution-has-hurt-women-11660921139

 

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-fertility-gap-and-womens-happiness

 

https://law.yale.edu/sites/default/files/documents/pdf/Intellectual_Life/Stevenson_ParadoxDecliningFemaleHappiness_Dec08.pdf

 

https://nypost.com/2022/10/29/why-60-years-of-feminism-has-not-made-women-any-happier/

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

OK. Past traditions may have worked well in a different world. If it works for you and your spouse in 2023 that is fine. Enjoy. 

But it seems like you have almost a religious like faith you are right.

As has been discussed in the God thread, faith is based on hope or laziness or wishful thinking, as are your ideas.  The genie is out of the bottle and women are doing their thing so, unless you are super smart and intelligent and can build a scientific theory why men are best place to control women's freedoms and destinies, I would admit to myself that I am not so smart and concede with dignity that your theories about women's roles are subjective, self serving, and in 2023 potentially immoral. 

 

Without absolute control, it does take some social intelligence to make a relationship work, and for most in here at the time they where rised and, its to late

 

Extremes in both ends, is as always not a good thing, the middle always works best, but it is hard sometimes to make the narrow ideal path working for everybody. 

 

[EVENKEEL]

1 hour ago, FarAway said:

I agree with you and the reactions to your post says everything about the average Expat in Thailand and on this Forum.

And how they can do that? Well, because they have no other chance. Often they are old and/or ugly and a cheap dirty prostitute is the best they can catch.

 

I took a Thai girl as well, but she was a student and had a regular job. She was 22, I was 24. Both good looking. Now 3 years older and having a child and a house together, all good ????

Living a traditional lifestyle where she takes care of household and kids and I bring in the money. We love it. She is the sweetest woman I ever met.

 

Still, because that is not the norm and usually when a white man takes a woman from Thailand it is an age gap that's otherwise just seen between father and daughter and the attractivity gap the same, my wife often suffers from bad reactions just after telling people that she is from Thailand.

People assume that I took her out of a bar and she is just with me because of financial reasons.

But I cannot blame people for thinking that in the first place just after hearing "Thailand", Thai women have the stigma for a reason! The reason you can read in this thread lol.

 

 

And no matter how hard you guys are trying to convince yourself that it would be normal like that, no, it isn't. 

It is mutual abuse. You are getting abused for your money, you are abusing your "wife" for her body. And you both just accept that.

 

Yes, in a normal healthy traditional relationship a woman is looking for a providing man and a man is looking for a beautiful woman who is a good mother as well.

BUT NO woman on earth would prefer a fat, old man over a young and fresh men.

Bar women are just on the lower end of the social scale and take what they can get, as the male equivalent from the West is and does.

Then they are coping through the rest of their lifes with this by any justification they can come up with. 

 

According to you you're 27 and you're giving your 2 cents, too funny. You know nothing. 

[FarAway]

8 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

According to you you're 27 and you're giving your 2 cents, too funny. You know nothing. 

 

Obviously I know more about traditional role models than the old bar stool sitters who mainly occupy this part of the WWW. Which is nothing that surprises me, the brainwashing to destroy the traditional family started heavily in your generation.

But more and more of my generation are starting to wake up and seek to restore the traditional way of living between man and woman.

 

Arguing with your age is a typical killer argument when you have nothing else to win a discussion.

I know a bunch of old people that are stupid as f***, age does not equate intelligence, sometimes it equates life experience but there as well, you can live 70 years of your life in ignorance and delusion.

[sidjameson]

On 4/7/2023 at 6:00 PM, FarAway said:

Men are physically stronger than women.

Men are more rational than women.

Men are more hormonally stable than women.

Are you saying on average a German woman isn't all the above over a Thai man?

And I mean not just now but before feminism took hold.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

20 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I'm not saying that it has anything to do with men being in charge of what women do, but while modern women are "doing their thing", it's making them unhappier.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/18/womens-rights-happiness-wellbeing-gender-gap

 

https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-the-sexual-revolution-has-hurt-women-11660921139

 

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-fertility-gap-and-womens-happiness

 

https://law.yale.edu/sites/default/files/documents/pdf/Intellectual_Life/Stevenson_ParadoxDecliningFemaleHappiness_Dec08.pdf

 

https://nypost.com/2022/10/29/why-60-years-of-feminism-has-not-made-women-any-happier/

Could be correct that some women are living in a way in the west that leaves them unhappy.

It may be that traditional relationships have a lot to offer a lot of people. They may like to gather together and hold certain principles and concepts dear. 

I guess my point is that it is for each of us to work out.

Consider that it may not be freedom or control over their lives that is the problem, but say getting it right for work life balance, combining children and career, adapting to the modern world, etc. Difficult for men too. 

 

 

 

[Hummin]

11 minutes ago, FarAway said:

 

Obviously I know more about traditional role models than the old bar stool sitters who mainly occupy this part of the WWW. Which is nothing that surprises me, the brainwashing to destroy .

I know a bunch of old people that are stupid as f***, age does not equate intelligence, sometimes it equates life experience but there as well, you can live 70 years of your life in ignorance and delusion.

Not to many bar stool members here, they are occupying other www. 

 

Funny you figured out people in one age category is stupid as bull pie, and do not mention your own age category. 

 

Being to sure about anything, shows your lack of knowledge and lack of intelligence. Sorry, but that's the truth.

[Hummin]

26 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

According to you you're 27 and you're giving your 2 cents, too funny. You know nothing. 

Either or both an incel and Tate admirer. The young generation has completely lost it, and Blaim you guys ???? 

[Fat is a type of crazy]

32 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Without absolute control, it does take some social intelligence to make a relationship work, and for most in here at the time they where rised and, its to late

 

Extremes in both ends, is as always not a good thing, the middle always works best, but it is hard sometimes to make the narrow ideal path working for everybody. 

 

Depends what you mean. I don't think letting woman do their thing is an extreme. The fact is I have no choice.

But, sure, relationships are not dreamboat equality and we end up taking on some role or other. One party is more intelligent, street wise, strong etc. For me the best opportunity is to start with the premise that a woman is not inferior but a person doing their thing. 

[Hummin]

12 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

Depends what you mean. I don't think letting woman do their thing is an extreme. The fact is I have no choice.

But, sure, relationships are not dreamboat equality and we end up taking on some role or other. One party is more intelligent, street wise, strong etc. For me the best opportunity is to start with the premise that a woman is not inferior but a person doing their thing. 

Absolutely agree, 

 

Those who deny their woman to do what she want is insecure. 

 

A relationship, should be equal effort, but not necessarily true practiced, and therefore necessary with some social skills and intelligence from both parts to make it work. 

 

If you use old traditional pattern and structure, both know what to do, or should do, and not necessary to have much of social skills and intelligence ????????

[FarAway]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Absolutely agree, 

 

Those who deny their woman to do what she want is insecure. 

 

A relationship, should be equal effort, but not necessarily true practiced, and therefore necessary with some social skills and intelligence from both parts to make it work. 

 

If you use old traditional pattern and structure, both know what to do, or should do, and not necessary to have much of social skills and intelligence ????????

 

So if your woman wants to work a career life in a man-made system with inflationary scam FIAT-money instead of staying at home and taking care of it and your kids, you would let her do?

Working for money so she can pay the nanny who takes care of your kids then instead of her?

 

And I am insecure if I would tell my wife to get out of her brainwash and follow her instinct and what nature/God intend her to do?

I am not insecure, you are just weak.

 

Nowadays you need to have a lot of intelligence AND social strength to decide to live a traditional life in a world where people like you are the majority.

[NextG]

5 hours ago, proton said:

Why would any normal adult male want a sexual relationship with a 14-16 year old when there are thousands of available women over 20, the legal age for bar girls? They must go looking for them and they oddly seem proud about what they have done, even when breaking laws with heavy penalties. 

The poster yesterday complained about getting dirty looks when he was parading his child bride about, not surprising as she was almost young enough to be his granddaughter. 

What is a ‘normal’ adult male? We know that there are differences in mental age and emotional intelligence.

In my case, I had a friend visiting who was interested in meeting girls here. Since I am not interested in P4P, I just left him to it. My birthday was coming up and I would have appreciated my friend spending some time with me on that day. 
He had another idea, a double date for my birthday; Cinema and meal. His treat was to pay for my companion, as he knew that I would not ever do such a thing myself. I agreed, as I wanted to spend my birthday with this old friend.  So I had to find a companion, fast. Went for a walk past the bars and along the way, saw a girl who looked attractive to me. Voluptuous hourglass figure with full breasts. Probably a D cup or DD. 
Went in to discuss that I just wanted someone to accompany me for cinema and dinner. Her English wasn’t great, but I wasn’t expecting much anyway. There was another girl in the bar who actually spoke good English and probably would have been much better company, but I wasn’t looking for a relationship.  All was agreed and friend and I went out to cinema and for dinner. Then back to our 200 sq. m. apartment. Awkward, as I really didn’t have much a connection to the girl since we couldn’t really communicate. Not my thing, so gave her a hug and took her home. I don’t actually remember giving her any money, which was probably a faux pas… but I really had no idea. Perhaps my friend did. I nurture real relationships, rather than on a financial basis. So giving her money for accompanying me seemed wrong. 
Next day I went into the bar to see if everything was okay and I that did the right thing. The girl who did the translation told me that she would have loved to go to the cinema etc. With hindsight she would have been a far more suitable candidate. But I told her that I already took the other girl out, so it wouldn’t be nice for her…. She said… don’t tell anyone that I told you, but she is fourteen ????

There is no way that I would have guessed!

The point of the story is that it’s not necessarily the case that people are looking for young girls, they might just choose the someone most attractive to their eye. 
In my case, I discussed it with the girl and explained that nothing could ever happen with us, but I couldn’t tell her that I knew about her age, as that would have caused conflict with the girl who told me. We remained firm friends for very many years until we lost touch. Even when she was home and pregnant we still communicated. 
My observation was that it’s not as cut and dried as you might imagine. I understand your feelings after the episode within your family. 
This girl was already in the bar scene and willing to have sex with men for money. I see it as the lesser of two evils for her to just sleep with one man and to perhaps build something together. I didn’t want to be that man, as I wanted something different for myself, but when I saw there was someone trying to have an exclusive long term relationship with her, I didn’t discourage it as it solved the issue of her having to sleep around for an income. If he is willing to take responsibility for her, then it’s better than the alternative. 
Of course we are not talking about normal eight year olds as in your case or teenagers here. 
So that is my experience and why I don’t expressly criticise OMF, as at least he is facilitating a more stable present and future for the girl. Not necessarily exploitation. 
It wouldn’t be our preference, but we don’t live in a perfect world. We need to make allowances within reason. 
P.S The translator and I have also stayed friends, seventeen years later ????
 

[BangkokReady]

31 minutes ago, proton said:

Child abusers should be called out on their illegal activity, those doing it are not the suspects, the kiddie fiddlers are. The fact that somebody posted about it on here tells you he thinks is normal and acceptable, it's not. 

Who has posted on here claiming that child abuse is normal and acceptable?

[Hummin]

19 minutes ago, FarAway said:

 

So if your woman wants to work a career life in a man-made system with inflationary scam FIAT-money instead of staying at home and taking care of it and your kids, you would let her do?

Working for money so she can pay the nanny who takes care of your kids then instead of her?

 

And I am insecure if I would tell my wife to get out of her brainwash and follow her instinct and what nature/God intend her to do?

I am not insecure, you are just weak.

 

Nowadays you need to have a lot of intelligence AND social strength to decide to live a traditional life in a world where people like you are the majority.

You forget in many western countries man and women worked while kids staying wit grandparents, uncles and aunties.

 

Richer people had nannies to rise their kids, so I really do not know what timeperiod you talking about? It was a decade women where more homebased, and that was in the 50'ies. 

 

Everything was better before is a myth in practice. Sounds good, and I miss the time I grew up, but we evolved in today, and life is F Great.

 

Btw I do not have kids, and no, I do not think  the mom should leave the kids full time in kindergarden, and not start working full-time before they start school.

 

But it is not up to me, it involves the wife and our economy as well if that was something I had to deal with

[NextG]

2 hours ago, FarAway said:

I agree with you and the reactions to your post says everything about the average Expat in Thailand and on this Forum.

And how they can do that? Well, because they have no other chance. Often they are old and/or ugly and a cheap dirty prostitute is the best they can catch.

 

I took a Thai girl as well, but she was a student and had a regular job. She was 22, I was 24. Both good looking. Now 3 years older and having a child and a house together, all good ????

Living a traditional lifestyle where she takes care of household and kids and I bring in the money. We love it. She is the sweetest woman I ever met.

 

Still, because that is not the norm and usually when a white man takes a woman from Thailand it is an age gap that's otherwise just seen between father and daughter and the attractivity gap the same, my wife often suffers from bad reactions just after telling people that she is from Thailand.

People assume that I took her out of a bar and she is just with me because of financial reasons.

But I cannot blame people for thinking that in the first place just after hearing "Thailand", Thai women have the stigma for a reason! The reason you can read in this thread lol.

 

 

And no matter how hard you guys are trying to convince yourself that it would be normal like that, no, it isn't. 

It is mutual abuse. You are getting abused for your money, you are abusing your "wife" for her body. And you both just accept that.

 

Yes, in a normal healthy traditional relationship a woman is looking for a providing man and a man is looking for a beautiful woman who is a good mother as well.

BUT NO woman on earth would prefer a fat, old man over a young and fresh men.

Bar women are just on the lower end of the social scale and take what they can get, as the male equivalent from the West is and does.

Then they are coping through the rest of their lifes with this by any justification they can come up with. 

 

What if they are not fat old men and the younger woman is genuinely attracted to them? Would it be bad then?

If I am 40 and I meet a girl of 20 who appears to like me, would that offend your sensibilities? I am not writing specifically about Thailand.  Should anyone care about what you think?

Why not just enjoy your relationship while it lasts, rather than looking at other people and making yourself sad looking at them? It would be different if you could offer these girls an alternate path; but it just seems more useless moralising. 

 

[FarAway]

2 minutes ago, NextG said:

What if they are not fat old men and the younger woman is genuinely attracted to them? Would it be bad then?

If I am 40 and I meet a girl of 20 who appears to like me, would that offend your sensibilities? I am not writing specifically about Thailand.  Should anyone care about what you think?

Why not just enjoy your relationship while it lasts, rather than looking at other people and making yourself sad looking at them? It would be different if you could offer these girls an alternate path; but it just seems more useless moralising. 

 

 

It is biologically impossible for mentally healthy girl aged 20 to like a man aged 40.

If she grown up without a father and have daddy issues, yes she will like him. But that is not mentally healthy.

 

Otherwise, EVERY woman aged 20 will always prefer a man around her age.

Even if you are 40 and a top model, she would still biologically and naturally prefer a 20-year-old top model.

 

 

[NextG]

35 minutes ago, FarAway said:

 

So if your woman wants to work a career life in a man-made system with inflationary scam FIAT-money instead of staying at home and taking care of it and your kids, you would let her do?

Working for money so she can pay the nanny who takes care of your kids then instead of her?

 

And I am insecure if I would tell my wife to get out of her brainwash and follow her instinct and what nature/God intend her to do?

I am not insecure, you are just weak.

 

Nowadays you need to have a lot of intelligence AND social strength to decide to live a traditional life in a world where people like you are the majority.

If that is what she wants to do… let her make her own mistakes. In your case, if your partner is in agreement with you and happy, that’s just great. 
My job is to maintain the good health of myself and the people close to me to the best of my ability. I don’t concern myself with what you are doing in your relationship. Why do you feel the need to judge?
 

[brewsterbudgen]

4 minutes ago, FarAway said:

 

It is biologically impossible for mentally healthy girl aged 20 to like a man aged 40.

If she grown up without a father and have daddy issues, yes she will like him. But that is not mentally healthy.

 

Otherwise, EVERY woman aged 20 will always prefer a man around her age.

Even if you are 40 and a top model, she would still biologically and naturally prefer a 20-year-old top model.

 

 

As you seem to think you're an expert, is it different if she's 20 and he's 50?  

[KhaoYai]

There is no definitive answer to this question. You can't put all girls in the same box, everyone has a different personality, outlook, etc. but there is one thing that covers - I'd guess 99% of bar girls - social

background.

 

On the subject of marrying a bar girl - again, everyone's different but you also have to consider the difference in thinking/attitude along with all the other differences between Asian and Western cultures.  I guess it depends on what you think constitutes a 'marriage'.

 

Many Westereners are still of an age where they think marriage is about love and starting a family.  I gave up on that BS many years ago.  In Asian culture there is a strong leaning towards finding a partner that can support a girl financially.  In general males are more financially well off and stable when they are older, which is probably why many Asian girls are prepared to marry a much older guy.

 

In reality, I don't think they are much different to other girls when you take away cultural influences.  You or I will no doubt have been a 'hansum man' many times when walking through the bar areas - but have you ever seen the girls go wild when some good looking young blue eyed Westerner walks by?  I was in Suvarnabhumi once when a popular K Pop band were passing through.  There were literally thousands of screaming young Asian girls thronging the entire airport, trying to get a glimpse of the idols.  So, in an ideal world, who do you think they would choose?

 

I remember being out on a stag night in Pattaya many years ago when a girl, well actually a woman around 35 years old who was dancing on stage asked me if she could sit down.  I bought her one drink and we chatted.  I made it clear that I would not be taking her out of the bar as I was married at the time.  This girl was very good looking and had a lovely figure, I'm sure she could be 'busy' every night if she chose to be.  After the drink I bought her, she (secretly) paid for her own - she said she didn't want to get back on the stage and she did indeed pay for the drinks when I left - without being reminded.

 

We chatted for around an hour and she explained that she'd first gone to work in a bar when she was in her early 20's. Within a couple of months she'd met a Westerner in his 40's, they married and he took her back to his country where they had a child together.  The marriage didn't work out and broke up after a few years. That explained her very reasonable English.

 

She eventually ended up back in Thailand with her child and had worked in a factory for long hours sending money back to her parents for her kid.  She'd grown tired of that and decided to return to bar work to look for yet another Western husband.  This girl was, I believe, being honest and genuine with me, she knew I wasn't going to take her out, she also knew that I was married - she simply wanted a rest from jigging back and forth, holding the pole on the dance floor (I'm sure you've all seen that one) and I think she found it easy to talk to me.  She knew I knew the game so didn't seem to be holding anything back.  I don't think she was too bothered how old or ugly a guy was, just as long as he could support her and treat her reasonably.  She told me that she would move abroad when she met her future husband but expected to be back in Thailand before she was 50.

 

I'm not going to say that's the norm, I couldn't possibly claim that everyone's the same but there's one example of an Asian girl's outlook on life and I believe such attitudes extend outside the world of the bar girl.

 

When my own Thai wife and I were together in the UK we would often get invited to gatherings with other Thai/Foreign couples for birthdays etc.  Most of the husbands had never bothered to learn Thai and my wife didn't join in the female conversations much as she was a bit snobby and didn't get along with some of the girls - she only went along for the Thai food really ????.  The other girls didn't therefore get to know that I spoke enough Thai to understand a lot of what they talked about.

 

Most of these girls were ex bar girls and had met their husband through their work. Their conversation was almost entirely about how much money their husband's had, how big their house was and how much gold he had bought them.  I can't remember a single one of them talking about how happy they were but I do remember several saying the same as  my 'bar friend' above told me - they didn't expect to live in the UK permanently.  They mostly seemed to be clear that they would eventually end up back in Thailand and one openly stated that she would be going back to her Thai ex husband!!

 

Sounds awful doesn't it - these girls just see us as a way to live reasonably and being in farangland as just a way of accumulating as much wealth as they can before eventually returning to Thailand.  What really surprised me was that a couple of years ago I told this story to my Thai mate. He's a young, educated guy, married and has a a 3 year old child.  He told me that the situation is much the same in Thailand with Thai/Thai marriages but he introduced one possible explanation.

 

In Thailand - social mobility, the ability to cross the class/income divides is very rare for the uneducated.  In general, born poor/stay poor and expect that.  So marrying their way out of that trap is a route that a good few uneducated girls go down.

 

So what does this have to do with taking the bar out of the girl?  I think its just one small part of explaining the cultural differences - there are many more and some that I can't even start to understand.  I think however that before even considering taking the girl out of the bar, we would do well to understand why that girl is in the bar in the first place.  Why she's often prepared to accept a man that is much older than her and may not be too bothered about his looks.

 

What would they want in an ideal world?  I think my description of what happens when a good looking young foreigner walks through a bar area goes a long way to answering that.

 

I'm not even going to try and tackle the mental scarring such work can leave on a girl or those that may occur in the future - that's way above my pay grade.

 

To be honest, with the benefit of age and the experience of several failed relationships. I think that an 'arrangement' with an ex bar girl may have its advantages - providing we both understand that it is simply an arrangenment.  For my side, I would get a much younger partner than I would normally, a partner that is not a 'starfish' and has 'experience' and I wouldn't be kidding myself that she 'loved' me.  For her, well she'd be taken care of and that's probably all she wants. 

 

That's getting more and more attractive as the years go by.

 

Edited April 7, 2023 by KhaoYai

[NextG]

2 hours ago, FarAway said:

 

While it might be legally okay to have an 18 year old wife as a 40-50 year old man, it is still morally completely wrong and just disgusting. That woman could be the daughter of the man.

I am feeling sick just looking at "couples" like that, cannot imagine how deep and dirty these "couples" must feel deep inside them.

I get happy when I see a 40-50 year old man with a similar aged woman, even better when they are seniors. That is cute, that is real love, that is a real bond that kept humanity together for thousands of years.

 

Back in the days with healthy families and normal men and women, the age gap between a man and a woman (no LGBTQ back then as well ???? ) was really NEVER more than 10 years, usually 5 or less.

That is how it is supposed to be.

 

Anything else is just abuse. Even if when the woman is getting older and doing a conscious decision, it is then a both-sided abuse. The old guy abuses the woman for her body, the woman abuses the old guy for his money.

Again all of this is legal when she is 18, but it is still disgusting and just wrong.

You are really writing nonsense. “Back in the days with healthy families…”

Can you elaborate on the location and time period to which you refer?

I think you’ll find that the ‘healthy family’ to which you refer, is a modern social construct. 
In fact, a normal healthy family would arise from the Alpha male getting a hold of the female when ready before anyone else could. 
We don’t do that now. We have all sorts of laws to control what would be normal human behaviour. 
So please, desist with this moralistic nonsense. 
It would be perfectly normal to take a young girl, have children with her and go out to hunt whilst she took care of domestic issues. In fact your relationship is a throwback to this days. But you are adding the moralistic parsimonious attitude that you are somewhat better, as you and your partner are much the same age. That has nothing to do with nature. 

[FarAway]

14 minutes ago, NextG said:

You are really writing nonsense. “Back in the days with healthy families…”

Can you elaborate on the location and time period to which you refer?

I think you’ll find that the ‘healthy family’ to which you refer, is a modern social construct. 
In fact, a normal healthy family would arise from the Alpha male getting a hold of the female when ready before anyone else could. 
We don’t do that now. We have all sorts of laws to control what would be normal human behaviour. 
So please, desist with this moralistic nonsense. 
It would be perfectly normal to take a young girl, have children with her and go out to hunt whilst she took care of domestic issues. In fact your relationship is a throwback to this days. But you are adding the moralistic parsimonious attitude that you are somewhat better, as you and your partner are much the same age. That has nothing to do with nature. 

 

 

Wrong.

50-100 years ago even in Europe it was the norm to start a family in your early 20s. How young of a girl you wanna take as a 20-year-old man to justify the age gap that you ****** normalize and promote here, an infant?

 

A healthy family consists of a man and a woman who are staying together forever. So even if you are 40-50 aged one day, in a healtyh family you have no reason to "take a young girl and have children with her", because you already have a woman on your side and children with her and you are working together as a family to improve each others life.

 

[NextG]

3 minutes ago, FarAway said:

 

 

Wrong.

50-100 years ago even in Europe it was the norm to start a family in your early 20s. How young of a girl you wanna take as a 20-year-old man to justify the age gap that you ****** normalize and promote here, an infant?

 

A healthy family consists of a man and a woman who are staying together forever. So even if you are 40-50 aged one day, in a healtyh family you have no reason to "take a young girl and have children with her", because you already have a woman on your side and children with her and you are working together as a family to improve each others life.

 

You seem like a bit of a crazy person…

 

50 to 100 years ago qualifies as a “modern social construct”. It’s nothing to do with nature. 
As a twenty year old, my girlfriends were always older. In fact, with my age first and the female second, I can list the ages of some of my partners growing up.

13:12, 14:25, 16:18, 16:23(Yes, I had more than one girl sometimes), (forgotten the details of my 20’s ☺️) 31:18…

 

 

Differing needs, different partners. Gaining knowledge and experience along the way. It’s normal. 
In the end, you find partners who fit with you and you with them. 
I agree that they should not be children. But the world is not as you would like to imagine. Reality is different from your socially influenced mind. 

Edited April 7, 2023 by NextG

[sidneybear]

It depends on the character of the girl. Some get hardened into bar life quickly and enjoy it, sporting tatts, boozing, juggling farang donors with aplomb, doing drugs and the like. Others see it as a necessity, to support family, etc, and revert to their prior selves if they see an exit route. Generally, the longer they're in it, the more they see it as the real world.

 

Edited April 8, 2023 by sidneybear