Am I Rude?

[nidge]

Being 'blanked' used to bother me too, and it really confused my wife. When we lived in Bahrain all the thai girls would stick together like glue. Now we treat it as a game and bet each other whether the farang we are about to walk past will say hello.

It does not matter what language you speak, everyone understands hello. It take a miniscule amount of effort to say and once it's done you can still walk straight past. So if you are one of the miserable gits, chill oput, say hello and then go on with your miserable attitude.

[garro]

As for me. I try to avoid anyone who attempts to make friends with me on the basis that they obviously have ridiculously low standards.

Who was it who said; they wouldn't like to join any club that would have them as a member?

[qwertz]

Where I now live, it seems to be customary to say good day to strangers on the street or at least give a polite nod.

If you're ignored, no problem, but usually you're greeted in return.

In LOS the polite nod, with or without a smile seems to be the norm.

Perhaps some farangs want to turn their backs on society as they knew it.

Garro, IMO, in the interest of good manners I think you should resume the cursory greeting and just shrug off the snubs.

BTW, how do you look when you're out and about; could this have a bearing on things?

P.S. I think the quote was from Groucho Marx

Edited July 6, 2007 by qwertz

[sbk]

As for me. I try to avoid anyone who attempts to make friends with me on the basis that they obviously have ridiculously low standards.

Who was it who said; they wouldn't like to join any club that would have them as a member?

Groucho Marx, I believe

[garro]

BTW, how do you look when you're out and about; could this have a bearing on things?

When I hit the city I like to make an effort. I wear swimming trunks, a ripped string vest and flip-flops, making sure that they are each different colours.

[Neeranam]

I can't believe one old frang codger walking along the same path as my daughter and I one Sunday morning. No one else in sight. I said Good morning, he said nothing and started speaking Thai, which wasn't very good, to his daughter(same age as mine). There are some ######ed up frang out there.

[garro]

I can't believe one old frang codger walking along the same path as my daughter and I one Sunday morning. No one else in sight. I said Good morning, he said nothing and started speaking Thai, which wasn't very good, to his daughter(same age as mine). There are some ######ed up frang out there.

That does sound a bit f***ed up. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't ignore somebody if they spoke to me. I have just learnt to avoid the embarrassment of being ignored by not making the first move. Maybe I'll try harder to be more friendly in future (well except for that old tosser who has blanked me for about three years now) .

[Upcountry]

Well, here's another Phitsanulokian.

I also used to be annoyed by being treated like I wasn't there when I attempted to acknowledge another farang in town. But not so much anymore.

If the timing is right, I do attempt a smile and nod, but often either I or the other guy happen to see each other either too early or too late to connect - lost opportunity. I'm usually preoccupied with my shopping or whatever, anyway, and I assume that other person is in a similar frame of mind. In addition, when I have had the chance to talk to other farangs, either upcountry or in Bangkok, a good percentage of them have of not been English speakers.

So, I don't really expect other farangs to be open to a conversation just because I would like to make new friends. I respect that they might not feel like that, and that we might not have that much in common anyway. The commonality of "farangness" is enough.

On the flip side, networking is important. I've thought about starting a Thai-Farang club here, but haven't gotten around to making the effort. If a non-bar venue could be found to set up a get-together for Thai-farang couples, we might be surprised at what could develop. For one thing, we could set up a co-op to get bulk items that aren't available in our area.

I invite any members in the area who thing this is a good idea to PM me. Maybe we can work something out.

UC

Edited July 6, 2007 by Upcountry

[eek]

BIanking at Ieast is better than downright nastiness.

WaIking and taIking aIong the street in Iaos with my fiIipina friend (not Ioud, just normaI girIy chatter), big oId farang guy with a waIking stick gIowers at us and then spits out "Shut UP!".

Cantankerous oId sod. Zzzz.

Edited July 6, 2007 by eek

[garro]

It sounds like a great idea upcountry, although I don't get into the city that often as I live 120 km away. I would definitely be interested in what develops though.

[mrbojangles]

I think it's the initial feeling of isolation when you are first settling down somewhere. You are just glad to see someone who looks like you. Then it wears off as you settle in.

When my Mrs first came to England, she would make me stop the car if she saw another Thai, or run around the supermarket if she spotted one in the distance. Now all she says is "oh darkling too many Thai people in England now"

[RueFang]

"One of the problems here, especially if farangs are scarce, is that people think of an area as their private kingdom and other foreigners are viewed as "intruders."

This is a such an accurate observation...in the province I live in there's very few (possibly under 10) farang. I've seen about 3 old retirees on several occasions who look straight through me when I smile at them and I think it's because they think I'm a tourist (heaven forbid ) invading their town! Once I saw 2 tourists in town and was so excited to see other farang (and youngins too!) I went straight up to them to talk to them. I think they were just as surprised to see another farang. I spoke to them for a while to see if I could help them out as they were obviously tourists and then went on my way after a bit of a chat.

Garro - "I have just learnt to avoid the embarrassment of being ignored by not making the first move. Maybe I'll try harder to be more friendly in future"

If you feel this way when someone does it to you, why would you behave in the same manner? If people are so bitter and twisted they can't manage a smile or nod, you really wouldn't want them in your life anyway, so they're doing you a favour by not responding. If on the other hand you smile or nod at every farang, one out of 50 might smile back, strike up a convo and you may end up with a very good friend. By not smiling you're becoming the people you don't like and loosing out. You're obviously a nice guy though because you question your behavour as you know it doesn't feel right

One of the things I dislike the most in our western world is that everyone ignores everyone else who isn't in their special circle of friends, people don't even know their neighbours, etc. It's one of the best things about living here is the community feel and how friendly and smiley people are. Don't loose a good quality because of some cranky old codgers!!

[pgs]

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into...............

After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however .......................

The first thing you need to do is to learn how to control your shopping trolley cart. There is nothing worse than bending down to get a can of sardines off the lower shelf and having some snobby farang bump into your butt with his trolley.

Because farangs are a rare species in Phitsanulok, why not stop and have a quick chat with those of a similar breed to yourself. It doesn't take much to say, "Bloody hot today, isn't it?" or "Do you think crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth?"

As for the poor old guy who wanted to chat with you, he probably only wanted to tell you that your fly was undone.

Sorry Mighty Mouse, but after being ignored for the millionth time you stop trying to make conversation with other farang.

Btw, my fly wasn't open. I was wearing my swimming shorts!

If I ever see a farang wearing swimming trunks in Tesco, I'll speak to him.

I'd be a bit worried - I haven't seen a pool in a Tesco yet.

As for the 'maybe s/he doesn't speak my language' concept, perhaps it can be made a rule that all farang wear badges signifying the laguages they speak - similar to airline staff. ;-) (sorry, 'startrekian' isn't really language.)

[eek]

"One of the problems here, especially if farangs are scarce, is that people think of an area as their private kingdom and other foreigners are viewed as "intruders."

Although Chiang Mai isnt scarce on the farang front, Im reminded when I overhead a western man end of last year complaining to his friend that there were "too many goddam Japanese tourists in town" and he wished they would go home.

I realised he has probably lived here a long time, but just seemed sorta funny to me.

[qwertz]

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into...............

After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however .......................

The first thing you need to do is to learn how to control your shopping trolley cart. There is nothing worse than bending down to get a can of sardines off the lower shelf and having some snobby farang bump into your butt with his trolley.

Because farangs are a rare species in Phitsanulok, why not stop and have a quick chat with those of a similar breed to yourself. It doesn't take much to say, "Bloody hot today, isn't it?" or "Do you think crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth?"

As for the poor old guy who wanted to chat with you, he probably only wanted to tell you that your fly was undone.

Sorry Mighty Mouse, but after being ignored for the millionth time you stop trying to make conversation with other farang.

Btw, my fly wasn't open. I was wearing my swimming shorts!

If I ever see a farang wearing swimming trunks in Tesco, I'll speak to him.

I'd be a bit worried - I haven't seen a pool in a Tesco yet.

As for the 'maybe s/he doesn't speak my language' concept, perhaps it can be made a rule that all farang wear badges signifying the laguages they speak - similar to airline staff. ;-) (sorry, 'startrekian' isn't really language.)

I don't believe it's down to a language barrier as most farang newcomers need a modicum of English anyway for basic communication with Thais.

[pgs]

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into...............

After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however .......................

The first thing you need to do is to learn how to control your shopping trolley cart. There is nothing worse than bending down to get a can of sardines off the lower shelf and having some snobby farang bump into your butt with his trolley.

Because farangs are a rare species in Phitsanulok, why not stop and have a quick chat with those of a similar breed to yourself. It doesn't take much to say, "Bloody hot today, isn't it?" or "Do you think crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth?"

As for the poor old guy who wanted to chat with you, he probably only wanted to tell you that your fly was undone.

Sorry Mighty Mouse, but after being ignored for the millionth time you stop trying to make conversation with other farang.

Btw, my fly wasn't open. I was wearing my swimming shorts!

If I ever see a farang wearing swimming trunks in Tesco, I'll speak to him.

I'd be a bit worried - I haven't seen a pool in a Tesco yet.

As for the 'maybe s/he doesn't speak my language' concept, perhaps it can be made a rule that all farang wear badges signifying the laguages they speak - similar to airline staff. ;-) (sorry, 'startrekian' isn't really language.)

I don't believe it's down to a language barrier as most farang newcomers need a modicum of English anyway for basic communication with Thais.

ich scherzte

[garro]

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into...............

After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however .......................

The first thing you need to do is to learn how to control your shopping trolley cart. There is nothing worse than bending down to get a can of sardines off the lower shelf and having some snobby farang bump into your butt with his trolley.

Because farangs are a rare species in Phitsanulok, why not stop and have a quick chat with those of a similar breed to yourself. It doesn't take much to say, "Bloody hot today, isn't it?" or "Do you think crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth?"

As for the poor old guy who wanted to chat with you, he probably only wanted to tell you that your fly was undone.

Sorry Mighty Mouse, but after being ignored for the millionth time you stop trying to make conversation with other farang.

Btw, my fly wasn't open. I was wearing my swimming shorts!

If I ever see a farang wearing swimming trunks in Tesco, I'll speak to him.

I'd be a bit worried - I haven't seen a pool in a Tesco yet.

As for the 'maybe s/he doesn't speak my language' concept, perhaps it can be made a rule that all farang wear badges signifying the laguages they speak - similar to airline staff. ;-) (sorry, 'startrekian' isn't really language.)

I don't believe it's down to a language barrier as most farang newcomers need a modicum of English anyway for basic communication with Thais.

Ermm... I would have thought a modicum of Thai would be preferable for newcomers in Thailand. Especially when you get outside the tourist areas and they no speak English

[mmushr00m]

well if I was at Tesco and I saw you walking around in your speedo, not only would I give you the blank stare, I would turn around and I would start throwing things at you.

Personally I talk to anyone that approaches me. Nothing wrong with a nod of the head to acknowledge someone as well

Was actually somewhere in Isaan last month at a truck/bus stop/rest station. So a bunch of us were sitting, eating and chatting when suddenly a farang just sat down and said ...you speak english!! Seems he has been living in a village for awhile, he didnt know the day or month but was so happy and excited to be speaking english. Said he was driving by, saw us and did a U-turn just to have a chat.

Nice guy, personally I enjoyed the encounter................but then again he wasnt in a speedo!!!

[garro]

You guys do know I'm joking about the swimming shorts, don't You?

[qwertz]

Quote BKK: Ermm... I would have thought a modicum of Thai would be preferable for newcomers in Thailand. Especially when you get outside the tourist areas and they no speak English

Agreed, BKK, but most newcomers land in Bangkok and other urban areas first and pick up the local "Thenglish".

I didn't on my first trip because I landed in the sticks by accident and bad organisation.

English doesn't help much in such a situation but it's certainly a fast track to learning basic Thai.

P.S. You sure you were joking about the shorts?

Edited July 6, 2007 by qwertz

[pgs]

We have encountered a Canadian living around Chaiyaphum. Haven't seen him for a few years now, though.

Sometimes one just NEEDS someone to talk the mother tongue with - just for a few changs.

On the up side, in our village there are enough people whom want to try English (or have me use really pathetic Thai) over a drink or 6. That aside, we also have enough with sufficient conversant English that it's OK there for me. Besides, one can always talk to the buffalo - they don't have language problems.

[chiliwasabi]

You guys do know I'm joking about the swimming shorts, don't You?

I certainly hope they do. It's bad enough having guys strutting around in their budgie smugglers at the beach, let alone at the supermarket!

[mbkudu]

All,

Have had the same experience many times but have some other angles for you to ponder.

Maybe he doesnt speak your language. He doesnt want to make an effort.

Maybe he is trying to get lost into another world and doesnt want to be found.

Maybe he is from some metropolitan area where rip off is rampant.

Maybe he thinks you are comming on to him in a sexual way.

LLL

Maybe he is a re-incarnation of Colonel Kurtz, and is suspicious that the OP is conspiring to filch his load of ivory.

[qwertz]

We have encountered a Canadian living around Chaiyaphum. Haven't seen him for a few years now, though.

Sometimes one just NEEDS someone to talk the mother tongue with - just for a few changs.

On the up side, in our village there are enough people whom want to try English (or have me use really pathetic Thai) over a drink or 6. That aside, we also have enough with sufficient conversant English that it's OK there for me. Besides, one can always talk to the buffalo - they don't have language problems.

That's one ploy they haven't thought up yet then.

Vet says the buffalo's fit but it urgently needs a TEFL course.

Edited July 6, 2007 by qwertz

[eek]

You guys do know I'm joking about the swimming shorts, don't You?

Well you know...i was curious about this. So i did a quick call to a farang friend of mine up your neck of the woods garro (he's an old fellow, has a thai daughter, not too sociable, likes to speak thai). I just received an email from him as he had just been shopping in the local supermarket.

WELL..seems they have a poster up, looking for a guy who harrasses the local customers with his terrible trolly coordinations skills.

Pic below:

Gold Lame' speedos Garro?! Good grief, wHeres your sense of decency!?

[garro]

You guys do know I'm joking about the swimming shorts, don't You?

Well you know...i was curious about this. So i did a quick call to a farang friend of mine up your neck of the woods garro (he's an old fellow, has a thai daughter, not too sociable, likes to speak thai). I just received an email from him as he had just been shopping in the local supermarket.

WELL..seems they have a poster up, looking for a guy who harrasses the local customers with his terrible trolly coordinations skills.

Pic below:

Is there no such a thing as privacy anymore?

Gold Lame' speedos Garro?! Good grief, wHeres your sense of decency!?

Is there no such a thing as privacy anymore?

Edited July 6, 2007 by garro

[qwertz]

Come on, garro, a bit ago you were going on about being ignored.

BTW, groovy ensemble, are you an Elton John fan?

[November Rain]

Where on earth did you find that photo, eek?

[eek]

Well..i said. From a man from up Garros way. I didnt photoshop it (badly), no no, didnt.

[lazeeboy]

I don't get to see many other Farang where I live, as we are a bit remote, and the only time I usually bump into them is my trip to Phitsanulok every two weeks. There are about three other Farang in a 20 km radius of me. One English guy who I socialised with a few times but haven't seen in over two years, one Italian who I haven't met and only stays here part of the year and one old guy who I said hello to in the market a few years back but he completely blanked me (I still see him occasionally and we just ignore each other).

As I said we go to Phitsanulok every two weeks are so and invaribly end up in Tesco/Lotus or Big C. There aren't many Farang in Phitsanulok but I will always see one or two. When I first came to Thailand I would always smile at other that Farang who I would make eye contact with and sometimes even strike up a conversation. As I say it is not like Pattaya we are still very much a minority here. Anyway, I always smile at the Thais who I make eye contact with and they always smile back. I noticed that many other Farang would blank me and I would find this strange or even a bit rude. Then I thought about it a bit more and realised that the only thing we really probably had in common was our skin colour and the 'where do you come from?' & 'How long have you been in Thailand?' conversation gets a bit stale after a while. So for the last few years I too have got in the habit of blanking other farang. I don't mean anything bad by this and of course I would help anyone who I thought was in trouble.

Anyway I was in Tesco/Lotus Phitsanulok last monday and there was an old farang who I kept bumping into. As is now my routine I blanked him. After bumping into him for about the the 10th time however it was obvious that he was a freindly sort and wanted to chat. The problem was though that after you have blanked someone for a while it is actually a bit awkward suddenly acknowledging them (at least I think so). So I continued to blank him. Was I very rude?

a few years ago a farang blanked me ,turned out he was shy and we've been mates for years ,dont go on 1st immpressions