How to throw out my girlfriend's son out of the house?

[Adumbration]

Screw that.  Just find a new GF.

[Don Chance]

Have thought about talking to him?

[HandsomeTallFarang]

2 hours ago, transam said:

That is a load of tosh, you are talking about you and your ideas, we are all different, and we may not be above average height and handsome like yourself...................????

Andy Kaufman lookin’ like a Walmart-Brand Weird Al Yankovich in that photo 

[djayz]

Very easy. If it's your/your gf's property, tell him he has outstayed his welcome and it's now time to leave. Give him a few days to pack and get somewhere else to live. Set a deadline. If he doesn't leave by then, tell him to fxxx off. If he doesn't understand that, grab him by the scruff of the neck and fling him out! Close the door/gate and don't open it for him again. Problem solved. No need for guns, knives, etc. 

He's only acting like this because the ground rules haven't been laid out for him. 

Neither you nor your gf, should have to put up with bs. 

[kingstonkid]

17 hours ago, organicman said:

That's a great idea!! When he goes to work, we can change the locks and remove his stuff from the house. Thank you!

Also have gf keep the family in the loop.

[mania]

17 hours ago, organicman said:

The son has no criminal history or history of violence at all. It's a real step to commit violence let alone pull a trigger. I understand Thailand is run by the mafia but this is back in the village. 

Go for it but.....It seems you have not had first hand experience with how fragile the Male Thai ego is

For them killing you over a loss of face is almost mandatory...Unless of course he has a few baht then 5k baht/$150 will see you planted somewhere by who ever he pays

 

Really it is not your business & there is pretty much zero chance you will not regret getting involved in it

[charleskerins]

18 hours ago, JeffersLos said:

Not your house. Not your family. Not your town. Not your country.

 

Come back to Thailand and rent a condo in Phuket for 3 months for just you. No support, financial or other to anyone, GF included. 

 

I'm sorry if you're one of the Westerners that bought a house in rural Thailand for their teerak. 

is that a bad idea?  

[Dogmatix]

1 Buy the prodigal son a condo in Bkk and pay for the maintenance and a monthly allowance on condition he doesn’t come to the house anymore.

 

or

 

2 Buy yourself a condo in Bkk, Pattaya, Phuket or wherever you fancy and find a new and younger girlfriend, preferably an orphan without children, grandparents, uncles, aunts or sick buffalos.

[NORDO]

1.   It’s not your home, you're just a visitor.  (like it or not)

2. On the "Sow’s Teat scale", you’re sucking on the rear Teat, he is on a forward Teat.   Anything that is emitted from the rear of the Sow, you have to deal.  (Rear Teat theory)

3. Very frustrating to deal with, however one of you must leave the sow.

4.  The kid is her son.

     The house is hers and his birthright.

     Kalasin is his home. 

5. You won’t win this fight in the end.  I’ve been there and it is tough to accept.   Save the frustration and       move on …along with your THB.  She will have to solve the issue herself. 

[LaosLover]

The OP ponders the possibility of popping into a Muay Thai gym, crooking a beckoning finger, and thereby easily recruiting a mob of henchmen to do his bidding.

 

Is this the funniest thing I ever read here? No, that would be the comment about doing a reach around on a ladyboy.

 

But this comes close.

[Andycoops]

Any physical altercation and you will end up in a world of pain because Thais always come first versus farang.

[conman]

15 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

If all this is true Frits, why is it that you seem so dismissive of those who caution about the risks of getting into physical altercations? You bragged about your martial arts skills, but how much good will they do you if you're set upon by a group of crow bar, hoe handle, two-by-four wielding guys? You're dishing out in-your-face advice as if everyone on here is Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Rambo, and Claude van Damme rolled into one. How old are you? You think you could unequivocally kick the butt of any 27 year old Thai guy out there? I have my doubts, tough guy.

 

You say you speak Thai.  Great, but if the desk cop down at the police station decides the best way to keep the peace and squirm out of taking a police report is to arbitrarily believe the Thai person's version of events, all the Thai language skills in the world are probably not going to count for much.

 

You said you're not afraid of dying. OK. Talk is cheap. How about fear of physical debilitation or disfigurement from getting into a fight? Or fear that you'll sustain huge medical bills from an injury? Please don't confuse being prudent with being a coward.

 

I've been coming to Thailand for 36 years and have lived here for the past 20. I'll admit I've gotten into a few physical altercations over the years, and have had a chance to understand what the risks and aftermath of doing so are. There are a lot of risks, and a bull-in-a-china shop approach rarely, if ever, produces the best outcome, especially in a village environment.

 

You can think of a Thai village as an interconnected eco system. Lots of family connections by blood and marriage, lots of life long acquaintances and friends dating back to grade school. A foreigner is going to be clueless about the full extent of these connections, no matter how long they live in a village. When you pick a fight with someone, you can oftentimes inadvertently end up antagonizing a large number of people who are backing the person you picked a fight with. In other words, there are often lasting repercussions arising out of tense disputes. Those that devolve into violence, can easily morph into physical altercations involving far more people than you initially anticipated. And I would not give Thais high marks in terms of willingness to let go of grudges or to bury the peace pipe.

 

I have definitely come to the conclusion that any type of physical confrontation should be avoided almost at all costs. There are good reasons why Thais in villages generally try to avoid hot confrontations, if only because they live next door to one another and they're probably going to be seeing one another every day for the rest of their lives.

 

I have found that being patient and taking a very considered approach to conflict resolution is the best practice when living in a village. Faced with a potential confrontation, I will often cogitate for long stretches about how best to approach the person, how they might react, and how I will react to how they react. Sometimes, (let's say a noise complaint) the problem ends up going away during this cogitation phase.

 

It's not clear to me what environment you have been living in during your years here, but I am genuinely surprised that someone who has lived here as long as you claim you have, is so disinclined to at least acknowledge that this approach has considerable merits.

 

One of the best replies i have ever read here, this should be pinned so future generations can read, learn, and decide on the best course of action.

[steven100]

OP has gone ...   so has Fritz karate kid ...

[thailand49]

Much to consider.  

You say flying back to Thailand that mean we which is you, Wife, and youngest? 

What kind of trouble has in been in? 

House in Kalasin renting own by GF family? 

Depending on the problem he had been in his age not sure if he is going to change.  This is typical don't think the youngest if not with you will be any different. 

Language problem you might think you understand explanation but she might be complaining deep down does she really want h out. It isn't until she had it will take kick them out. Who the son is coming from the lack of upbringing in the poor culture. Before posters get their boxes all tight It is a general statement. 

As suggested stay out of it,  at his age upbringing it wouldn't take much for a farang to set them off lost of face think. 

When you say he move home who's home I'd it.  If it is family owned you have no right as noted not your problem. Are you coming back for a holiday? If not simply moving from the So call home. Your GF has been absent in his life most likely not her home mother or family member raise him there IS much missing In your story. 

Never the less get ready if it turns from a civil to criminal,  whatever the police said isn't true they will interfere for the right price. 

Your martial art is useless in these situation it only take care of thing temporary. 

 

[Gsxrnz]

Sell the house. Sorted.

[swm59nj]

It’s your girlfriends son.  So it’s her responsibility to get him to leave you are not his father. 
And using physical violence to remove him?  A person that has a serious martial arts background uses it for self defense only. Not for intimidation or to assault someone. Or brags how they can beat someone up thats much smaller. 
He might be small.  And you think you can take him. But if he finds you with ten of his friends.  Which is common in Thailand.  That martial arts training might not be much help. 

[fredwiggy]

19 hours ago, organicman said:

 

Mid 40s now.

 

I'm a blunt person. After I slept with her when I first meet her, I told her I'm not looking for a relationship and that I like younger women (a butterfly). I would push her away for years to be with other women (I never paid a woman for sex) but she will continue to chase me. This year, I got really drunk and was making out with her and some other women. She didn't care and said I can go out and have fun with other women when she is there cause she knows I do it when she isn't around but wants to be around me. She hates being away from me. I usually spend 2 weeks with her then go somewhere around Thailand or SEA for 2 weeks and be with other women every year. I spent 6 months in my home country and 6 months in SEA every year. I usually bring her back to my home country cause she is a great cook, cleans my house and looks after me. She said she wants to go out and have fun with me and said i can have fun with other women now. I haven't escalated it to a 3some yet but I'm working on it. ????We got a lot closer during Covid lockdown where she was with me in my home country. I tried to get a 22 year of Vietnamese girl to come first but her tourist visa was denied.  

 

To be honest, we don't even label what we are cause I've been saying for years I don't want a relationship. She use to get so jealous at first when I was with other women like a normal jealous Thai girl but now she is learnt to accepted it. We are like best friends now sleeping together. I've dated lots of women in my years where she has the qualities of everything I want in a woman but I want a younger version. My friends and parents told me to keep her for years but I kept pushing her away. She still looks like she is in her 20s, very petite (I thought she was in her early 20s when I first met her). Thai women age well but in the last couple years, she is starting to lose those attractive looks (me too where I'm in my early 40s now and coming out of my prime) I notice but I still can go out and be with other girls so I'm happy if I wish but I haven't really desire to do so since we got closer during the Covid lockdown. 

 

Since the son came back to the her home, I've never seen her so depressed before. She has done so much for me and will do anything for me hence I want to return the favour by helping her remove the son from her home. 

 

Gecko gave the best advice so far here, and you shouldn't get involved, because it can get you killed, hurt, or ruin the relationship between you and her, but after I read this, I felt it had to be addressed. This woman, who you think is pretty, is taking on a man that just has to have other women, which, in case you aren't realizing it, is hurting her every day. She sees something in you I don't understand, because there are many other farangs that would kill to be in your shoes. You're in your 40's, and like everyone else, is getting older daily. She doesn't like what you're doing, but allows it because of maybe you are helping her with money and such. She is, and has been, jealous of what you're doing, and this won't change. You should make a choice, either stay and be faithful to her, because she is a good woman, has taken care of you when you're sick, travels with you, cooks, cleans in your country, and is I'm guessing, faithful, while you aren't. You got closer during Covid, which shows she means something to you and vice versa. Best friends sleeping together is the best you can have, but I'm thinking you missed that somehow. The other choice you have is letting her go, because she would make someone a great wife, and she's still young enough to attract another farang, because a local doesn't want a local with kids anyway, except to use. You wanting a threesome is you wanting another woman, along with your best friend, just to show you "care". She isn't only depressed because her son is there. Men do this shiit all the time, and this is another reason they learn to hate men, and then can't relate when a good man comes along. If you aren't willing to give her your all, let her go, because  she's a keeper, although this obviously doesn't mean as much to you as it would to me.

[phetpeter]

Simple if you are only coming back for 3 months, if he is living there , think, does he have full time job? if not, then he is living there rent free, has little income. just find him a room somewhere, pay 3 months  rent for him, He will go, and when you leave he will move back in. try to find him a room near where here can find work or near his place of work, maybe a helping hand will do the trick instead of kicking him out to the street. Being a helping hand, may be the better of two evils,

[CecilM]

If you start, you’ll lose. In one way or the other. 
This is a matter between your gf and her son. Stay out of it. (Esp as a foreigner.)

[zyphodb]

17 hours ago, steven100 said:

correct .....   you tell the GF to have a serious talk to the son and have him out by Monday when you return from the hotel,  or your seriously leaving ...........    This will also solidify her conviction with you as true or imaginary.

 

one of two things will happen .....

I'd give them a week rather than a w/e...

[bendejo]

10 hours ago, djayz said:

If he doesn't leave by then, tell him to fxxx off. If he doesn't understand that, grab him by the scruff of the neck and fling him out!

When people ask what happened the answer will be "farang threw him out of his mama's house."  You will not look good.  Pitch forks and torches at worst.

 

Maybe try this: tell him you know a farang who makes a lot of $$$ by bringing ganja to Singapore, they never look in your bags!

Well yeah, that's a bit much.

 

Edited September 13, 2023 by bendejo

[a3tsw]

 

[Can samui]

Stop feeding him.

[steven100]

1 hour ago, zyphodb said:

I'd give them a week rather than a w/e...

yes probably better to give him time to find something ....  also,  she could appease him and add the attraction that when he finds a room she'll support him with the first 2 months rent then it's on your own buddy .... don't return ever.    At least that way it's more positive for him and therefore may work.

 

The better you make it for him the more chance of a successful outcome ....  

[jaideedave]

16 hours ago, NanLaew said:

That's quite easily the saddest potted biography I've read in a long, long time.

 

"she's in her 40s now...Are there men with means lining up to take her away to Valhalla? She could possibly be thinking of her future with a farang around to pay the bills? 

Shes probably trying to find a way to keep the peace and the kid. Its her son and the foreigner could dissappear tomorrow.

[Celsius]

23 hours ago, organicman said:

This is the most stupid thing I've ever read. It's the mother's house not the son's house!

 

You know what is even more stupid?

 

It's not your house.

[fredwiggy]

7 minutes ago, jaideedave said:

"she's in her 40s now...Are there men with means lining up to take her away to Valhalla? She could possibly be thinking of her future with a farang around to pay the bills? 

Shes probably trying to find a way to keep the peace and the kid. Its her son and the foreigner could dissappear tomorrow.

Men disappear every day,no matter what a woman looks like, because they are idiots and or, users. Nothing wrong with a 40 year old Thai woman, as I've seen many here that are gorgeous. Especially seeing many men think they are better looking than they actually are, and think they somehow deserve more. they don't. You deserve what you give out, nothing more. There are women here that pass on good men because they never learned from their mostly absent or absent fathers, what a relationship with a man is. So they go for the money, thinking they at least will have a home to live in and a better chance of a future than with a local, who wants nothing to do with her kids, and is only there for sex.

[BritManToo]

9 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Men disappear every day,no matter what a woman looks like, because they are idiots and or, users. Nothing wrong with a 40 year old Thai woman, as I've seen many here that are gorgeous. Especially seeing many men think they are better looking than they actually are, and think they somehow deserve more. they don't. You deserve what you give out, nothing more. There are women here that pass on good men because they never learned from their mostly absent or absent fathers, what a relationship with a man is. So they go for the money, thinking they at least will have a home to live in and a better chance of a future than with a local, who wants nothing to do with her kids, and is only there for sex.

News flash ......... body of foreigner found burned and hidden in the forest.

This is what happens when you play with the locals.

 

[whereyougo]

Ah country life with the amazing wife and amazing kids. Why come to Thailand and take that <deleted> on when it's a  renters Paradise for a few hours 

[HK MacPhooey]

On 9/12/2023 at 12:24 PM, Gecko123 said:

One thing the OP may not be fully aware of is that in Thai rural culture, long since emancipated children are free to return to the parental homestead, and unless there is a really, really compelling reason to kick them out, nobody ever says a word. I have seen this happen many times, i.e., Somchai gets out of jail, loses his job, gets divorced. It sounds like his mother's house is all the more attractive for squatting because she is frequently absent, and a mentality that she has "another house" has set in. Don't know what to tell you about how to handle this situation, but absolutely do not get into a physical altercation with this guy. Possible drug use, Oedipal undercurrents you may not be fully aware of, retaliation by proxy, etc., are just a few of the reasons why. Let your wife take the lead on this, and try to negotiate a resolution.

Maybe the mother is the problem?