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Why don't people who say they have a drinking issue take the steps to solve the problem


connda

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I'm worried about a member here on AN.  I read his posts and he is literally screaming that he has a problem.  Then he just seems to pass it off and with plans to go on a bender.  I think that the most concerning sign that alarmed me was when he started posting that life has no meaning.  I've watch alcoholics destroy their lives - literally - and I'm concerned for this member.  I've done what I can and suggested AA or professional counseling.
Of course he could just be acting out for attention.  But if he has a problem, I care.  I hope he can find help.

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2 hours ago, Trippy said:

I think most of (deleted)'s posts are pure fiction. 

I'm not sure if the alcoholism aspect is fiction, or not. Of course the person in question likes to troll. But is the alcohol dependency part of the fiction, or is it what triggers the trolling behaviour in the first place.

 

Anyway the person has had plenty of people try to reach out to him. They've had plenty of good advice and chosen not to take it.

 

What more do you want to do to help? People are often self destructive. Unless they really want to change, then they won't.

Edited by JayClay
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It boils down to one simple principle in my experience.

 

You can't help someone who doesn't want to accept help.

 

If the man really is an alcoholic it may take some very dire circumstances for him to finally reach out for help. At least, it seems, many people have tried and given out ideas like AA and the like. So, if the man really is alcoholic and burns his life down, the pain of the circumstances he's created may drive him, at some point, to take all the advice given and reach out for help. Obviously AA is available and it's easier than ever to access AA meetings online these days.

 

https://aa-intergroup.org for online meetings.

 

BTW, I commend your concern. If anyone here on the AN board knows of someone with a drinking problem looking for help I am available by DM or posting here.  I am a recovered alcoholic 30 years sober using the AA 12 step program. I'd be happy to speak with anyone looking for help with a drinking problem

Edited by likerdup1
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  • 4 weeks later...

I had more trouble quitting smoking but did manage.

 

Not more then a social drinker with maybe a few glasses of wine and good Jack-Coke-Ice,  not more then once or twice a month on social occasions or clubbing.

 

The best deterrence to reduce booze was remembering the previous hangover before going out to the next party.

 

It did help to reduce the excess of clubbing during the younger ages leading to  sometimes getting wasted, I admit 😁

 

Society should always remember the problem cannot be solved in considering excess drinking (or even excess eating, smoking etc)  per se as the problem.

 

The problem is rooted deeper below the subject with disfunctionnal patterns due to various traumas, stress or similar that only a proper practician can diagnose.

 

and p.s. why all the Bob bashing really ? you don't like it, you put it on ignore. Why bash somebody who has done no harm basically ?

Edited by observer90210
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  • 8 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

True alcoholics really do find it difficult to quit.  I’ve seen the cases.  Smart people, but they’re addicts. They can be in the hospital, on the verge of death, and yet they’ll check themselves out against medical advice and head to the nearest bar. And before long, the family has a funeral to arrange.

 

I once worked with a guy like that.  Smart guy.  Yale law school grad, good career, millionaire, and yet alcohol was ruining his life.  He somehow couldn’t stop.  I think a lot of the problem stems from the culture.  Some people can navigate through, others get tripped up.

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On 10/3/2023 at 11:09 AM, connda said:

I'm worried about a member here on AN.  I read his posts and he is literally screaming that he has a problem.  Then he just seems to pass it off and with plans to go on a bender.  I think that the most concerning sign that alarmed me was when he started posting that life has no meaning.  I've watch alcoholics destroy their lives - literally - and I'm concerned for this member.  I've done what I can and suggested AA or professional counseling.
Of course he could just be acting out for attention.  But if he has a problem, I care.  I hope he can find help.

What if life really has no meaning? And I don't mean it as a result of depression, just as a fact of life.

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18 minutes ago, Sunmaster said:

What if life really has no meaning? And I don't mean it as a result of depression, just as a fact of life.

Life have no meaning, unless you give life meaning 😉

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  • 5 weeks later...

It’s tough to see someone in such a dark place, especially if you’ve seen similar struggles before. Reaching out and suggesting professional help is definitely the right move. Even if he’s just acting out, it might still be a cry for help that needs addressing. Hopefully, he’ll take the advice seriously and get the support he needs.

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