Phuket to Buriram - help a brother out with a few questions

[Sandboxer]

After having driven in whacky crazy Poo-cat/Phu-crap dodging/anticipating the abundance of locals/tourists who drive like retards all around me for 6 months without incident, I now feel confident enough to go on my first long road trip.

 

It will be a 3 day-ish (basically just under 500km/day) road trip to visit friends in Buriram. 

 

I've done all the necessary Google mapping for hotels/waypoints (even hospitals in case of emergency) etc. etc.

 

The only thing I still don't quite understand is the toll/gate system, and i just can't seem to find the answers on Google, so if you'll indulge me:

 

1. How many toll gates will I roughly have to pass through on this journey?

2. Will I always have the option to pay the toll in cash at any toll gate?  If so, are the cash payment booths always located in a specific lane (all the way right, or left)?

3. What if my dumb azz accidentally drives through a non-cash gate? What are the legal consequences - a fine in the mail, points on license, etc? Helo-involved LAPD-level BiB car            chase to catch the escaping white monkey?

 

4. Does Thailand have one or more non-cash toll payment systems? M pass....Easy pass...etc.....a bit confused. Will getting just one work for all toll gates nation wide? Where do I get it?

 

Sorry, probably sounding like amateur hour but I'm pretty paranoid about these things and like to have my ducks in order.

 

PS. For what it matters, the car is mine/registered in my (falangistani) name, Thai license/insurance etc., all legally clean.

 

TIA

 

 

Edited December 8, 2023 by Sandboxer

[bignok]

Taxi drivers always pay cash in bkk

 

 

[Havefunme]

If your using Google map you can turn on avoid tolls and don't have to worry 

[Sandboxer]

4 minutes ago, Havefunme said:

If your using Google map you can turn on avoid tolls and don't have to worry 

Of course an option if the difference in time is marginal and I want to take the "scenic route," but on a long trip like this I'm usually all about maximizing efficiency, hence my specific questions.

Edited December 8, 2023 by Sandboxer

[Havefunme]

Using tolls

[Havefunme]

Not using tolls

[Havefunme]

4 minutes ago, Sandboxer said:

Of course an option if the difference in time is marginal and I want to take the "scenic route," but on a long trip like this I'm usually all about maximizing efficiency, hence my specific questions.

According to Google it's a 6 minute difference 

[Sandboxer]

Cool, thanx.

 

Anyone have the answers to the other questions in my OP?

[hotandsticky]

Given your paranoia, I would fly.

[bignok]

19 minutes ago, Sandboxer said:

Cool, thanx.

 

Anyone have the answers to the other questions in my OP?

All about tolls

[bignok]

12 minutes ago, hotandsticky said:

Given your paranoia, I would fly.

Or talk to a Dr about his toll paranoia

 

4 questions all about tolls 555

[Havefunme]

My 1st time riding with tolls it wasn't complicated as you thing all the tolls I came across has cash payment any those lanes are the middle ones basically when you get on they give you a card when you get off you give them the card and pay what they ask other tolls pay as you go thru them 

[Sandboxer]

I should've known that posting any clearly phrased (even made the effort to format nicely so even the dumbest could focus their 2 brain cells a bit easier) questions here barely requiring an IQ and social skill above that of a laboratory rhesus monkey to answer would result in the usual panel of board retards being drawn to it like flies.

 

 

 

OP: "What is the sum of 2+2?"

 

80% of AN replies: "PURPLE, BEEF STEW, TOYOTA, BEER, OOGA OOGA, NANA..."

Edited December 8, 2023 by Sandboxer

[Sandboxer]

1 minute ago, Havefunme said:

My 1st time riding with tolls it wasn't complicated as you thing all the tolls I came across has cash payment any those lanes are the middle ones basically when you get on they give you a card when you get off you give them the card and pay what they ask other tolls pay as you go thru them 

 

Thank you for an actual productive reply. 

[bignok]

Just now, Sandboxer said:

I should've known that posting any questions here requiring an IQ and social skill above that of a rhesus monkey to answer would result in the usual board retards being drawn to it like flies.

Your 4 questions are basically the same. If you skip the toll roads you don't pay tolls.

 

What part of that logic is complicated? You must have a low IQ

[BenStark]

42 minutes ago, Havefunme said:

According to Google it's a 6 minute difference 

 

I really have a hard time to believe that on a 580 km trip.

 

Maybe google assumes that all traffic lights will automatically switch to green when the OP approaches?

[bignok]

2 minutes ago, BenStark said:

 

I really have a hard time to believe that on a 580 km trip.

 

Maybe google assumes that all traffic lights will automatically switch to green when the OP approaches?

It's based on current time. It could be 20 mins

[Sandboxer]

Just found this, if anyone is interested:

 

https://tollguru.com/toll-calculator-thailand

 

Don't know if accurate.

[Havefunme]

20 minutes ago, BenStark said:

 

I really have a hard time to believe that on a 580 km trip.

 

Maybe google assumes that all traffic lights will automatically switch to green when the OP approaches?

Simple mind maybe the tolls are backed up, Google predicts the time when I googled it all times very thru out the day 

[Sandboxer]

2 minutes ago, Havefunme said:

very thru out

 

2 minutes ago, Havefunme said:

Simple mind

 

[hotandsticky]

56 minutes ago, bignok said:

Or talk to a Dr about his toll paranoia

 

4 questions all about tolls 555

 

I thought he was asking about TROLLS!

[scorecard]

16 hours ago, Sandboxer said:

I should've known that posting any clearly phrased (even made the effort to format nicely so even the dumbest could focus their 2 brain cells a bit easier) questions here barely requiring an IQ and social skill above that of a laboratory rhesus monkey to answer would result in the usual panel of board retards being drawn to it like flies.

 

 

 

OP: "What is the sum of 2+2?"

 

80% of AN replies: "PURPLE, BEEF STEW, TOYOTA, BEER, OOGA OOGA, NANA..."

 

With your demands and additude why would the board retards bother to try to help with some information, and why would you expect that board members are experts on this subject?

 

 

[topt]

18 hours ago, Sandboxer said:

2. Will I always have the option to pay the toll in cash at any toll gate?  If so, are the cash payment booths always located in a specific lane (all the way right, or left)?

yes to the first bit and no to the second. Cash lanes and other options usually well marked.

18 hours ago, Sandboxer said:

3. What if my dumb azz accidentally drives through a non-cash gate?

Apart from a couple of newer tolls all the rest have barriers which means you would end up having to reverse out to the irritation of the other traffic affected.......

The ones with no barriers I think you get a chance to pay online (supposed to pay in advance) but not sure and you could end up getting a fine in the post. 

18 hours ago, Sandboxer said:

4. Does Thailand have one or more non-cash toll payment systems?

Yes. Try a search as have been several discussions on here about them. 

 

Personally I stick to just using cash and suck up the potential delay due to any queues

 

Have a safe trip 

[brianthainess]

20 hours ago, Sandboxer said:

Of course an option if the difference in time is marginal and I want to take the "scenic route," but on a long trip like this I'm usually all about maximizing efficiency, hence my specific questions.

IMO no it's never quicker despite what a gps tells you, as the time given, is if you can keep to the max speed limit, getting green lights all the way. All tolls take cash and IME cash tolls are normally in the left lanes, crashing through a barrier will get the highway cops on you within minutes.

 

[brianthainess]

18 hours ago, hotandsticky said:

 

I thought he was asking about TROLLS!

He got one with the usual insults thrown in. 

[Mike Lister]

Is she worth the journey I ask myself, nobody goes to Korat voluntarily.

[Stevemercer]

All the toll roads currently have cash booths. You just have to read the signs to work out which bank of booths. A tip I would pass on is NEVER use the left most toll booth lines. Sometimes there are police when you exit the booth who will pull you up and scam you out of 500 - 1000 Baht by pretending they have a photo of you speeding from a previous speed camera. If you use the middle/right hand banks there is usually nowhere for the police to lurk.

 

Always use the toll roads to get through Bangkok. Never descend to the local roads unless you are familar with them and know exactly where to go. Otherwise you will get lost, stuck in traffic jams, get frustrated and loose an hour or more.

Edited December 9, 2023 by Stevemercer

[topt]

5 hours ago, Stevemercer said:

A tip I would pass on is NEVER use the left most toll booth lines. Sometimes there are police when you exit the booth who will pull you up and scam you out of 500 - 1000 Baht by pretending they have a photo of you speeding from a previous speed camera

Sorry but where did this happen? Either they have a picture of you or not.

I have never had this happen in many years of going through toll booths........

 

One time I was stopped was in a central/right hand lane as I had inadvertently crossed a solid white line to get to the toll booth exit - but was let off. 

[topt]

6 hours ago, Mike Lister said:

Is she worth the journey I ask myself, nobody goes to Korat voluntarily.

I thought he was going to Buriram.........

On 12/8/2023 at 7:36 PM, Sandboxer said:

road trip to visit friends in Buriram. 

 

[Mike Lister]

7 hours ago, topt said:

I thought he was going to Buriram.........

 

Hahaha, I'm sorry, I saw Korat on the google map, it should have course said Buriram.

 

But the same sentiment applies, I haven't been there for over twenty years but back then it was the pits.