Why is there this kind of "impossible communication" between farang and thais ?

[Photoguy21]

Maybe they feel you have aggressive attitude which I am sure you don't have but they may perceive it as such

[Furioso]

Just now, Tomtomtom69 said:

 

Laos is very much uncrowded and yet the experiences you'll have there are similar to Thailand. Perhaps because the culture is very similar; the language is too. 

Yes, this is why Laos in not on my list. I'm going to Vietnam tomorrow for 7 weeks. I've been there a couple of times it seems a little more relaxed and when I come back to Thailand I'll be recharged again. I initially did almost 2 years straight without going anywhere and it became problematic to say the least. 

[Cameroni]

19 minutes ago, Tomtomtom69 said:

 

Yeah but you're more likely to exchange small talk with a European grocery checkout clerk than a Thai one.

 

I've observed Thai customers barely acknowledge checkout clerks or any service employee when they are addressed. Yesterday, a Dairy Queen employee asked a customer if it was his order. He barely mustered up the strength to say anything. He just grunted something. 

 

Thais aren't like Americans; who will engage in small talk with people who are serving them. Sure, in small shops and small towns, there may be some small talk between people who know each other, but almost never between a visitor from outside or someone who is shopping at a particular store for the first time.

 

I do engage in small talk sometimes, though rarely with busy clerks, unless related to my shopping. 

 

Very true. You're lucky if your girlfriend talks to you.

[norsurin]

The only thais that ignore me is the lady i had fun with in my hotel and i meet her later holding hand with her foreigner boyfriend.Anyway thats a mutual agreement.

[short-Timer]

5 hours ago, Aurelien said:

Don't get me wrong, Thais are lovely when they hold business transactions in stores, in the streets, in taxis... the cleaner lady says hello to me everytime i see her in the hallway.. but if you're not in their 'perimeter' anymore, you're like air to them. 
I'm at the supermarket, i want to buy broccolis. In front of me are a couple of Thais, and the vegetable lady spontaneously holds them plastic bags so they can wrap the broccolis inside them. Come my turn, I'm being ignored... I had to come to the vegetable lady, and point to the plastic bag. "Saitong, nung krap". I had to repeat several times until she finally decided to give one to me. 
I enter the pharmacy at the same time as Thais. Thais are directly being greated and served. "Hello, how can i help you?" I very distinctely put myself against a counter, clearly indicating that i need something, but no employee would come to me. Everybody see me, but nobody comes. I had to wait until the Thais were done, that finally and employeed comes to serve me. Speaking in good English too. In fact, I know all their staff speak good English, as I go there often.
Down my condo is a mini mart i go to every few days to buy cigarettes. The employee, a young Thai man, seems very happy to see me everytime, big smiles, kindness, chit chat etc... I'm walking down the street, see him walking as well, and thought "oh, our paths are going to cross, we'll probably greet each other". Once we cross, I look at him, just waiving my hand slighlty to say hello, and he doesn't even look at me like...so weird. There's no way he didn't see me, or even if he's shy he could just waive his head and that's it...
I know this is trivial and it probably doesn't apply in the most tourist based areas of the cities, but once a little outside of the usual hustle and bustle, and the behavior of Thais change drastically I found...

U tink too mutt.

 

U no ahb nahm?

[thesetat]

Based on what he posted in the OP. He is a regular customer. Perhaps he needs to look at himself and ask what he did to be ignored this way. I have never been ignored when shopping or needing assistance. In fact, just the opposite has happened to me. Most Thais will go out of their way to help you even if they can not speak any English. 

[yang123]

1 hour ago, Tomtomtom69 said:

 

No, the Chinese term is Laowai or Waiguoren. First one literally means "old outsider", while the second one means "outside country man" (or in English, simply "foreigner").

 

Guailo is Cantonese and while yes, Cantonese is a Chinese dialect, it's not "Chinese" in the sense that Mandarin is the official language of China and Taiwan, whereas Cantonese is merely a regional dialect, which happens to be one of the official languages of the territory of Hong Kong. 

Agreed.  Most common (unjustified) insult I've heard directed at foreigners in China is dabizi, literally "big nose"

[Aurelien]

2 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

What you are witnessing, I believe, is a reflection of the same quiet indifference with which many Thais interact outside their immediate circles of influence.

 

While often observed specifically within Thai society, this phenomenon, I would argue, is simply a mirror of a broader, universal human pattern. Across cultures and societies, the nature of our interactions is largely shaped by invisible, concentric circles of connection and familiarity.

 

These circles of influence can be described as follows:

 

1. Inner Circle: Family and Dearest Friends
Within this circle, interactions are marked by deep care, generosity, and emotional investment. Relationships here are intimate, nurturing, and resilient, often carrying a profound sense of duty and devotion.

 

2. Middle Circle: Friends, Acquaintances, Business and Work Associates
In this space, interactions are governed by politeness, mutual respect, and social convention. While relationships can be warm and even meaningful, they are often transactional and bounded by context rather than unconditional loyalty.

 

3. Outer Circle: Strangers and the Unconnected
Beyond the familiar, most people slip into a landscape of general indifference. Strangers are barely acknowledged, unseen until their presence overlaps or interrupts our own path. Here, interactions are minimal, incidental, or absent altogether.

 

I don't think this layered social dynamic is unique to Thailand; it seems almost innate to the human condition. At its core, it reflects the natural limitations of emotional bandwidth - the reality that genuine care cannot be infinitely extended without diluting its meaning.

 

In Thai culture, this structure may feel more visible because of the country's strong emphasis on social harmony (known as 'kreng jai') and its distinct separation of social roles. But the underlying principle - warmth within, coolness without - transcends borders and speaks quietly of how all of us, in our own ways, prioritise intimacy and conserve emotional energy.

Thank you chatgpt ? 

[Aurelien]

1 hour ago, Tomtomtom69 said:

 

Yeah but you're more likely to exchange small talk with a European grocery checkout clerk than a Thai one.

 

I've observed Thai customers barely acknowledge checkout clerks or any service employee when they are addressed. Yesterday, a Dairy Queen employee asked a customer if it was his order. He barely mustered up the strength to say anything. He just grunted something. 

 

Thais aren't like Americans; who will engage in small talk with people who are serving them. Sure, in small shops and small towns, there may be some small talk between people who know each other, but almost never between a visitor from outside or someone who is shopping at a particular store for the first time.

 

I do engage in small talk sometimes, though rarely with busy clerks, unless related to my shopping. 

This is absolutely right. But the opposite is true as well, Thai clercks hardly say goodbye or have a nice day (unless it's a very small business) whereas in Europe, we would profusely wish each other a nice day and such..

[BangkokReady]

Racism, of course. Foreigners are considered to be less human.  You should be used to this if you have spent any time in Thailand.

[Furioso]

They're giving you a not so subtle hint. 

[Harrisfan]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

Racism, of course. Foreigners are considered to be less human.  You should be used to this if you have spent any time in Thailand.

Why would a 30yo shop assistant talk to a 70yo plonker on the street?

 

[Harrisfan]

9 hours ago, Aurelien said:

know this is trivial and it probably doesn't apply in the most tourist based areas of the cities, but once a little outside of the usual hustle and bustle, and the behavior of Thais change drastically I found...

The opposite is true in none tourist areas like Nong Khai, Udon. People are super friendly.

 

Bangkok people are less friendly due to city stress.

 

Plus some are just shy.

[FruitPudding]

Don't concern yourself with the peasants.