So where did you meet your Thai girlfriend or wife?

[Hummin]

39 minutes ago, jas007 said:

I must be one of the only people here to have never fallen for the marriage trap.

 

I almost did, about 24 years ago, but I came to my sense before it was too late. 

 

 

Marriage is indeed not for everyone, same as gardening and farming. Takes visdom, experience, learn from mistakes and always pay attention when something is needed to be done. 

 

And you need to know when to stop doing what you doing if no positive reaction or results 

[richard_smith237]

50 minutes ago, jas007 said:

I must be one of the only people here to have never fallen for the marriage trap.

 

I almost did, about 24 years ago, but I came to my sense before it was too late. 

 

Well, if you think Marriage is a trap, there's a very lucky woman out there who dodged a bullet... 

 

 

[jas007]

11 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Well, if you think Marriage is a trap, there's a very lucky woman out there who dodged a bullet... 

 

 

Maybe, but it's probably the other way around. 

[steven100]

none of your god damn business      !!

[richard_smith237]

10 minutes ago, jas007 said:

Maybe, but it's probably the other way around. 

 

Oh absolutely - because you're just that much of a prize, aren’t you? Any woman would be blessed to snare you. They must be tripping over themselves, building traps and laying bait. It’s a full-blown stampede out there.

 

The level of delusional, chest-puffing misogyny on this forum is pure comedy gold.

 

That said, amidst the nonsense, there are voices of reason - people who clearly have a balanced grip on reality. And no, being single doesn’t disqualify you from being sane. But judging by the venom some people spit, it’s obvious their worldview’s been warped by bitterness and bruised egos.

 

 

[steven100]

On 5/13/2025 at 6:35 PM, SAFETY FIRST said:

My recent girlfriend I found walking down soi 17, around 11pm.

I was heading home, just left walking street, had been out with a mate from Oz.

Rode my PCX out of the carpark on Soi Diamond, heading up soi 17, she was walking opposite direction towards the beach. I turned around, asked if she wanted a lift, she said she was going to the beach to meet her friends. I dropped her off, got her Line contact, went home, messaged her the next day.

 

is she still working on beach road 

[steven100]

On 5/13/2025 at 2:20 PM, MalcolmB said:

There are a few of us here who prefer the Thai men.

 

So why do you have the heading for Thai wife or girlfriend only then. 

[jas007]

12 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Oh absolutely - because you're just that much of a prize, aren’t you? Any woman would be blessed to snare you. They must be tripping over themselves, building traps and laying bait. It’s a full-blown stampede out there.

 

The level of delusional, chest-puffing misogyny on this forum is pure comedy gold.

 

That said, amidst the nonsense, there are voices of reason - people who clearly have a balanced grip on reality. And no, being single doesn’t disqualify you from being sane. But judging by the venom some people spit, it’s obvious their worldview’s been warped by bitterness and bruised egos.

 

 

 Fine. I'm pretty sure, though, you haven't seen what I've seen.  

 

What kind of childhood did you have? How many times did your father lose half of everything he owned in a divorce settlement? How many divorce cases have you looked at? The legal files? The reality of what happens when two people decide they hate each other.  Maybe you dodged the bullet.   

 

Misogyny? Not really. Just someone who recognized a broken system early on.  

 

I won't go into too much detail, but in one of my very first jobs after law school, that's all I dealt with every day.  Divorced people. Divorced people who hated each other.  One time I counted the file cabinets. 75 file cabinets filled with divorce paperwork. And every six months, half of those file cabinets had to be emptied out and the contents placed in storage, simply to make room for all the new cases.  

 

For me, it was just a job. They paid me money, I did the job, and at the end of the day, I went home. But I did notice what was happening to men, primarily. They were up against a rigged system. And for them, there was no escape.  

 

One time, I sent a guy a letter about his divorce, and when he received it, he went into his back yard and blew his brains out.  I could sit here all day and tell you crazy stories, just from my own person experience.  

 

One of my friends was once handling a simple divorce case. The man was not from the USA and didn't want to comply with a court order giving his wife custody pf his kids.  He wanted to take his kids back to the Middle East. What did he do?  He killed them all. Wife and two kids.  Problem solved? 

 

If your life turned out OK, great. You dodged a bullet.  But I'm sure if it had turned out otherwise, you'd be one of the first people to complain.  

 

 

 

 

[steven100]

2 minutes ago, jas007 said:

 Fine. I'm pretty sure, though, you haven't seen what I've seen.  

 

What kind of childhood did you have? How many times did your father lose half of everything he owned in a divorce settlement? How many divorce cases have you looked at? The legal files? The reality of what happens when two people decide they hate each other.  Maybe you dodged the bullet.   

 

Misogyny? Not really. Just someone who recognized a broken system early on.  

 

I won't go into too much detail, but in one of my very first jobs after law school, that's all I dealt with every day.  Divorced people. Divorced people who hated each other.  One time I counted the file cabinets. 75 file cabinets filled with divorce paperwork. And every six months, half of those file cabinets had to be emptied out and the contents placed in storage, simply to make room for all the new cases.  

 

For me, it was just a job. They paid me money, I did the job, and at the end of the day, I went home. But I did notice what was happening to men, primarily. They were up against a rigged system. And for them, there was no escape.  

 

One time, I sent a guy a letter about his divorce, and when he received it, he went into his back yard and blew his brains out.  I could sit here all day and tell you crazy stories, just from my own person experience.  

 

One of my friends was once handling a simple divorce case. The man was not from the USA and didn't want to comply with a court order giving his wife custody pf his kids.  He wanted to take his kids back to the Middle East. What did he do?  He killed them all. Wife and two kids.  Problem solved? 

 

If your life turned out OK, great. You dodged a bullet.  But I'm sure if it had turned out otherwise, you'd be one of the first people to complain.  

 

 

 

 

yes ....   I expect any divorce can be very traumatic for both parties ,  and more so when big money or kids are involved. 

You say it's rigged,  well I personally found the entire Thai judicial system rigged,   it wasn't a divorce case, but it was a lot of money and assets.   

But it didn't surprise me in the least,   it just reflected & solidified what a FUP this really is.

 

I think as you mentioned about the guy who shot himself,  and the other who killed the family,   it comes back to how we each can handle the legal separation and how it affects us mentally. 

 

But,   the legal system also has alot to answer for,   they are partly responsibly for those two guys.   imo  

[SAFETY FIRST]

55 minutes ago, steven100 said:

is she still working on beach road 

I was expecting a stupid comment from you. 

 

Keep it up, you're always good for a laugh 

 

[steven100]

2 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I was expecting a stupid comment from you. 

 

Keep it up, you're always good for a laugh 

 

relax ,    it's just a joke old chap  !      no malice meant

[fredwiggy]

19 minutes ago, jas007 said:

 Fine. I'm pretty sure, though, you haven't seen what I've seen.  

 

What kind of childhood did you have? How many times did your father lose half of everything he owned in a divorce settlement? How many divorce cases have you looked at? The legal files? The reality of what happens when two people decide they hate each other.  Maybe you dodged the bullet.   

 

Misogyny? Not really. Just someone who recognized a broken system early on.  

 

I won't go into too much detail, but in one of my very first jobs after law school, that's all I dealt with every day.  Divorced people. Divorced people who hated each other.  One time I counted the file cabinets. 75 file cabinets filled with divorce paperwork. And every six months, half of those file cabinets had to be emptied out and the contents placed in storage, simply to make room for all the new cases.  

 

For me, it was just a job. They paid me money, I did the job, and at the end of the day, I went home. But I did notice what was happening to men, primarily. They were up against a rigged system. And for them, there was no escape.  

 

One time, I sent a guy a letter about his divorce, and when he received it, he went into his back yard and blew his brains out.  I could sit here all day and tell you crazy stories, just from my own person experience.  

 

One of my friends was once handling a simple divorce case. The man was not from the USA and didn't want to comply with a court order giving his wife custody pf his kids.  He wanted to take his kids back to the Middle East. What did he do?  He killed them all. Wife and two kids.  Problem solved? 

 

If your life turned out OK, great. You dodged a bullet.  But I'm sure if it had turned out otherwise, you'd be one of the first people to complain.  

 

 

 

 

I should be jaded, as I picked the wrong woman 3 times, and had children with them. I've seen happy marriages, and some very bad, with the rest somewhere in between. if you actually treat a woman well, and not just think you are,she won't leave unless she's carrying some real baggage from childhood, or has depression. 

 

There are a lot of really good women out there who would do anything to have a decent man, and there are as many that take advantage of good men and take them for granted because they were never taught how to relate to a man, not seeing their own parents getting along but instead having chaos during their childhood. 

 

My parents split up, as my dad didn't know how to treat mom that well, and his jealousy ruined things. I learned not to be like him, and tried to understand women from listening and reading, but still picked the wrong partners. I'm still at my age hopeful, that I'll find someone that's been through life and isn't jaded also, that wants to settle down with someone they can trust. 

 

There a lot of women out there that have been treated bad by men, and stayed too long because of finances or children. The same goes for men, who stayed with greedy, unfaithful, dishonest women who didn't understand what loyalty means. Getting married means taking a huge chance, and the only way you have any real means of knowing another is taking time, and as much time as you can before committing, which is something I learned too late. People don't change much at all after 30, but they can hide their true selves for quite awhile.

[richard_smith237]

24 minutes ago, jas007 said:

 Fine. I'm pretty sure, though, you haven't seen what I've seen.  

 

What kind of childhood did you have? How many times did your father lose half of everything he owned in a divorce settlement? How many divorce cases have you looked at? The legal files? The reality of what happens when two people decide they hate each other.  Maybe you dodged the bullet.   

 

Misogyny? Not really. Just someone who recognized a broken system early on.  

 

I won't go into too much detail, but in one of my very first jobs after law school, that's all I dealt with every day.  Divorced people. Divorced people who hated each other.  One time I counted the file cabinets. 75 file cabinets filled with divorce paperwork. And every six months, half of those file cabinets had to be emptied out and the contents placed in storage, simply to make room for all the new cases.  

 

For me, it was just a job. They paid me money, I did the job, and at the end of the day, I went home. But I did notice what was happening to men, primarily. They were up against a rigged system. And for them, there was no escape.  

 

One time, I sent a guy a letter about his divorce, and when he received it, he went into his back yard and blew his brains out.  I could sit here all day and tell you crazy stories, just from my own person experience.  

 

One of my friends was once handling a simple divorce case. The man was not from the USA and didn't want to comply with a court order giving his wife custody pf his kids.  He wanted to take his kids back to the Middle East. What did he do?  He killed them all. Wife and two kids.  Problem solved? 

 

If your life turned out OK, great. You dodged a bullet.  But I'm sure if it had turned out otherwise, you'd be one of the first people to complain.  

 

 

I understand where you're coming from – it's easy to see marriage as a broken institution when so many stories we hear are filled with pain, betrayal, or disappointment. The headlines, the anecdotes, the bitterness of others can paint a grim picture. But those are just snapshots – not the whole landscape.

 

As for me, I wouldn’t say I dodged a bullet, and neither did my wife. Nor did my parents, my sisters, or nearly all of my close friends – save perhaps two exceptions. We didn’t get lucky. We simply chose well. We entered into relationships where mutual respect, care, and emotional maturity are foundational, not optional.

 

There are no bullets to dodge when both people recognise that a relationship isn’t a battlefield and neither of them is carrying a loaded gun. It's not a game of survival, but a partnership built on understanding, not fear.

 

Of course, that’s not always the case. People do make poor choices – sometimes repeatedly – and when they do, it's far more a reflection on the chooser than on the concept of marriage itself. The system isn’t broken simply because some people walk into it ill-prepared, misguided, or emotionally unequipped.

 

And yes, people grow, change, evolve – sometimes in painful, divergent ways. That’s the part that truly breaks hearts. But that's not a flaw in the system; it’s a reality of life. The legal structures around marriage can certainly exacerbate the fallout when things go wrong, and there’s a case to be made for reform in how we manage endings. But let’s not confuse a flawed legal framework or poor individual choices with the failure of the idea itself.

 

Marriage, when entered into with wisdom, honesty, and intention, isn’t broken. It’s simply misused at times - often by those who rush in blindly, or who fail to take responsibility for their own part in its unraveling. And yes, many of those voices are loud on this forum, quick to declare they’ve “dodged a bullet” as if cynicism is a badge of honour.

 

There’s one particular poster who comes to mind – a man who relentlessly blames everyone but himself for his wife leaving him. His misogyny is so deeply entrenched, so casually worn, that one can’t help but wonder why any woman would have stayed with him in the first place. The irony seems entirely lost on him.

 

It’s not the institution that’s failed these people – it’s often their own choices, attitudes, or refusal to self-reflect.

 

Marriage isn’t inherently flawed. But it does demand maturity, accountability, and a genuine regard for the person you choose to walk beside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[hotsun]

40 minutes ago, jas007 said:

 Fine. I'm pretty sure, though, you haven't seen what I've seen.  

 

What kind of childhood did you have? How many times did your father lose half of everything he owned in a divorce settlement? How many divorce cases have you looked at? The legal files? The reality of what happens when two people decide they hate each other.  Maybe you dodged the bullet.   

 

Misogyny? Not really. Just someone who recognized a broken system early on.  

 

I won't go into too much detail, but in one of my very first jobs after law school, that's all I dealt with every day.  Divorced people. Divorced people who hated each other.  One time I counted the file cabinets. 75 file cabinets filled with divorce paperwork. And every six months, half of those file cabinets had to be emptied out and the contents placed in storage, simply to make room for all the new cases.  

 

For me, it was just a job. They paid me money, I did the job, and at the end of the day, I went home. But I did notice what was happening to men, primarily. They were up against a rigged system. And for them, there was no escape.  

 

One time, I sent a guy a letter about his divorce, and when he received it, he went into his back yard and blew his brains out.  I could sit here all day and tell you crazy stories, just from my own person experience.  

 

One of my friends was once handling a simple divorce case. The man was not from the USA and didn't want to comply with a court order giving his wife custody pf his kids.  He wanted to take his kids back to the Middle East. What did he do?  He killed them all. Wife and two kids.  Problem solved? 

 

If your life turned out OK, great. You dodged a bullet.  But I'm sure if it had turned out otherwise, you'd be one of the first people to complain.  

 

 

 

 

Dating sucks too, man. Sometimes you just need to experience getting married just so that you know youd be better off alone

[jas007]

26 minutes ago, steven100 said:

yes ....   I expect any divorce can be very traumatic for both parties ,  and more so when big money or kids are involved. 

You say it's rigged,  well I personally found the entire Thai judicial system rigged,   it wasn't a divorce case, but it was a lot of money and assets.   

But it didn't surprise me in the least,   it just reflected & solidified what a FUP this really is.

 

I think as you mentioned about the guy who shot himself,  and the other who killed the family,   it comes back to how we each can handle the legal separation and how it affects us mentally. 

 

But,   the legal system also has alot to answer for,   they are partly responsibly for those two guys.   imo  

To be sure. There's lots of blame to go around. Different legal systems. Different cultures. 

 

In any event, I was at work one day and had a moment of clarity. There was no way I would ever trust my freedom to chance.  No way I would ever turn my life over to a legal system that was rigged. If that meant never being married in this lifetime, then so be it. And here I am, almost 50 years later and I don't regret it at all. 

 

 

[SAFETY FIRST]

45 minutes ago, steven100 said:

relax ,    it's just a joke old chap  !      no malice meant

I was also joking 

 

Have a nice day mate 👍

[bubblegum]

In a restaurant. Been together 15 years. My 5th marriage and the first I like.

[jas007]

10 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

I understand where you're coming from – it's easy to see marriage as a broken institution when so many stories we hear are filled with pain, betrayal, or disappointment. The headlines, the anecdotes, the bitterness of others can paint a grim picture. But those are just snapshots – not the whole landscape.

 

As for me, I wouldn’t say I dodged a bullet, and neither did my wife. Nor did my parents, my sisters, or nearly all of my close friends – save perhaps two exceptions. We didn’t get lucky. We simply chose well. We entered into relationships where mutual respect, care, and emotional maturity are foundational, not optional.

 

There are no bullets to dodge when both people recognise that a relationship isn’t a battlefield and neither of them is carrying a loaded gun. It's not a game of survival, but a partnership built on understanding, not fear.

 

Of course, that’s not always the case. People do make poor choices – sometimes repeatedly – and when they do, it's far more a reflection on the chooser than on the concept of marriage itself. The system isn’t broken simply because some people walk into it ill-prepared, misguided, or emotionally unequipped.

 

And yes, people grow, change, evolve – sometimes in painful, divergent ways. That’s the part that truly breaks hearts. But that's not a flaw in the system; it’s a reality of life. The legal structures around marriage can certainly exacerbate the fallout when things go wrong, and there’s a case to be made for reform in how we manage endings. But let’s not confuse a flawed legal framework or poor individual choices with the failure of the idea itself.

 

Marriage, when entered into with wisdom, honesty, and intention, isn’t broken. It’s simply misused at times - often by those who rush in blindly, or who fail to take responsibility for their own part in its unraveling. And yes, many of those voices are loud on this forum, quick to declare they’ve “dodged a bullet” as if cynicism is a badge of honour.

 

There’s one particular poster who comes to mind – a man who relentlessly blames everyone but himself for his wife leaving him. His misogyny is so deeply entrenched, so casually worn, that one can’t help but wonder why any woman would have stayed with him in the first place. The irony seems entirely lost on him.

 

It’s not the institution that’s failed these people – it’s often their own choices, attitudes, or refusal to self-reflect.

 

Marriage isn’t inherently flawed. But it does demand maturity, accountability, and a genuine regard for the person you choose to walk beside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you talk about marriage, you're talking about a contract.  And in most cultures and for most purposes, that contract never expires. It's a lifetime contract.

 

Let's suppose I don't have a problem with the concept of marriage, as such,  I just object to the terms of the contract.  

 

Let's further suppose that I might be OK with a contract that expires after five years, let's say, with an option to renew if both sides are agreeable.  Get married and  see what happens.  It the contract is not renewed, that's it. Over. Done. Finished. As if it never happened, for purposes of the legal system.  Not unlike a longterm apartment lease that the landlord doesn't want to renew.  

 

In the case of a renewable contract, I'd be fine with the concept of marriage.  My problem is with the legal system and its enforcement mechanisms. 

 

My guess is that you wouldn't like a short term marriage contract.  You rolled the dice and won, and you want to lord that over everyone else as if you had a crystal ball and would always have been able to choose correctly.  Don't kid yourself. 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

Just now, jas007 said:

When you talk about marriage, you're talking about a contract.  And in most cultures and for most purposes, that contract never expires. It's a lifetime contract.

 

Let's suppose I don't have a problem with the concept of marriage, as such,  I just object to the terms of the contract.  

 

Let's further suppose that I might be OK with a contract that expires after five years, let's say, with an option to renew if both sides are agreeable.  Get married and  see what happens.  It the contract is not renewed, that's it. Over. Done. Finished. As if it never happened, for purposes of the legal system.  Not unlike a longterm apartment lease that the landlord doesn't want to renew.  

 

In the case of a renewable contract, I'd be fine with the concept of marriage.  My problem is with the legal system and its enforcement mechanisms. 

 

Let’s flip the scenario for a moment.

 

Imagine I marry, give up my career to stay at home and raise children as a 'stay at home dad', dedicating my time, energy, and identity to building a stable, loving household while my successful wife climbs the professional ladder. Then, years later, she decides to leave. Where does that leave me?

 

That’s not just emotional upheaval - it’s economic devastation. The career path I sacrificed is gone, my earning power diminished, and I’m left picking up the pieces of a life I helped build, now shut out from the rewards of it. Suddenly, that "piece of paper" you are scoffing at doesn’t seem so meaningless after all.

 

In my own case, my wife gave up her career to become a full-time mother. It wasn’t a decision made lightly, nor unilaterally. I travel often for work, and it was important to both of us that there be a steady presence at home - that she be the anchor a home. That choice, though made with love and purpose, came at great cost to her professionally. It altered her trajectory. And that’s precisely why the marriage contract matters: it’s not just romantic symbolism, it’s a mutual promise - a commitment to protect one another when life demands such sacrifices.

 

Now, if there are no children involved, no careers disrupted, no relocations, no significant compromises – then yes, I can understand the argument that marriage may feel redundant, just a ceremonial gesture, a piece of paper. In such cases, the stakes are lower and the consequences fewer.

 

Just now, jas007 said:

My guess is that you wouldn't like a short term marriage contract.  You rolled the dice and won, and you want to lord that over everyone else as if you had a crystal ball and would always have been able to choose correctly.  Don't kid yourself. 

 

The truth is, we both rolled the dice - and we won. No smugness, no gloating - just quiet gratitude.

 

If for whatever reason, either of us had to roll the dice again, we had to do it all over again, I’m confident the outcome would be similar.

 

That said, I’m not blind to the fact that it could just as easily have gone another way. Luck, timing, and character all play their part.

 

And of course, your argument that choosing well is simply a matter of foresight, as if we all possess a crystal ball is valid. The suggestion that one can always predict outcomes with absolute certainty obviously falls flat - especially in the context of a thread where options being discussed include bar girls and partners far removed from our own socio-economic, educational, or cultural world.

 

In many of these scenarios, the odds of misalignment are higher. Many of those relationships are, by their nature, built on shaky foundations - differences in values, life goals, or expectations. And it’s no surprise when they fail.

 

Yet, even then, gems can be found among the gravel. Not everyone outside your familiar world is a risk - and not everyone within it is a guarantee.

 

Marriage, like any meaningful commitment, involves a leap of faith. But it also demands discernment, self-awareness, and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths about oneself and one's choices. When it fails, it’s not always because marriage is broken - it’s often because the people in it were either mismatched, misguided, or unprepared.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[fredwiggy]

6 minutes ago, jas007 said:

When you talk about marriage, you're talking about a contract.  And in most cultures and for most purposes, that contract never expires. It's a lifetime contract.

 

Let's suppose I don't have a problem with the concept of marriage, as such,  I just object to the terms of the contract.  

 

Let's further suppose that I might be OK with a contract that expires after five years, let's say, with an option to renew if both sides are agreeable.  Get married and  see what happens.  It the contract is not renewed, that's it. Over. Done. Finished. As if it never happened, for purposes of the legal system.  Not unlike a longterm apartment lease that the landlord doesn't want to renew.  

 

In the case of a renewable contract, I'd be fine with the concept of marriage.  My problem is with the legal system and its enforcement mechanisms. 

 

My guess is that you wouldn't like a short term marriage contract.  You rolled the dice and won, and you want to lord that over everyone else as if you had a crystal ball and would always have been able to choose correctly.  Don't kid yourself. 

 

 

You can't go into marriage looking at it like it's a contract. It's more a commitment, where two people who love each other, have like future plans, and share attraction,  are willing to commit to just them and no one else, looking at their partner as the most important person on earth. More than their children, family, career  or friends. That they will never abuse, neglect or be unfaithful.

 

If a man looks at a woman as a sex object, he will get bored with her eventually, as sex isn't a reason to stay and it gets routine. Looking at her as a partner will always have them liking the sex because it's with someone they have grown with in shared times, with trust always there. 

 

If a woman only looks at a man as a paycheck, she'll only stay with him because of money, and that closeness will never happen. When the typical marriage vows say, to love and cherish, in sickness or in health, whether rich or poor, for better or worse, to be faithful to, until death, and when both look at this as a commitment and not a contract that needs to be followed or else, that's when marriage lasts. The hardest thing to find in this world is a good partner that really loves and honors them, with most women never having that in their lives.

 

That the justice system favors women in a divorce is true, with men taking the back seat in many divorces and losing a lot. Men who fight for the kids in the west sometimes get them, but it isn't easy. Prejudice against men in the court system is ignorant thinking, as many times the man is the better choice for the children, and has been the primary breadwinner for years, but is taken advantage of that and loses much of what he's worked for, even if the woman has been a terrible partner and parent.

 

Even with all of that, you still can't go into a marriage thinking it is a part time thing, or that it might end. You''ll sabotage it and end it before giving it the chance it deserves. A partner that's good is a partner that's worth working to keep. If you don't want to put 100% into a marriage, it is better to stay single.

[jas007]

12 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Let’s flip the scenario for a moment.

 

Imagine I marry, give up my career to stay at home and raise children as a 'stay at home dad', dedicating my time, energy, and identity to building a stable, loving household while my successful wife climbs the professional ladder. Then, years later, she decides to leave. Where does that leave me?

 

That’s not just emotional upheaval - it’s economic devastation. The career path I sacrificed is gone, my earning power diminished, and I’m left picking up the pieces of a life I helped build, now shut out from the rewards of it. Suddenly, that "piece of paper" you are scoffing at doesn’t seem so meaningless after all.

 

 

I understand, I really do. I lived through that as a kid. It happened to my mother.  

 

My father was one of the best in the world in his field. One of a handful in the world. My mother was as good, if not better, in the same profession. And yet she chose to marry my father and stay at home and raise two boys. Her choice. And when there was a divorce 15 years later, she had a problem.  It never affected me, financially.  My father paid child support in an amount that would be considered humongous, today.  And he paid to educate myself and my brother.  No questions asked, at least through undergraduate school. 

 

Anyway, my point was this: what if marriage was redefined?  What if there were no lifetime contracts?  That may sound unfair, but would it be, if everyone knew the deal going n? 

[hotsun]

12 minutes ago, jas007 said:

 

I understand, I really do. I lived through that as a kid. It happened to my mother.  

 

My father was one of the best in the world in his field. One of a handful in the world. My mother was as good, if not better, in the same profession. And yet she chose to marry my father and stay at home and raise two boys. Her choice. And when there was a divorce 15 years later, she had a problem.  It never affected me, financially.  My father paid child support in an amount that would be considered humongous, today.  And he paid to educate myself and my brother.  No questions asked, at least through undergraduate school. 

 

Anyway, my point was this: what if marriage was redefined?  What if there were no lifetime contracts?  That may sound unfair, but would it be, if everyone knew the deal going n? 

So get married in thailand and stay there. Me personally i dont mind getting divorce raped anymore. My kids are all i care about

[jas007]

19 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

You can't go into marriage looking at it like it's a contract. I

But that's exactly what it is. It's a contract.  Unfortunately, at least for now, a contract with no expiration date.  

 

To be sure, some people have all sorts of rationales as to why it's more than just a contract, but that's all they are. Rationalizations. 

 

Anyway, at this point, none of this affects me. There are still girls chasing me around, but I have a conscience.  I could have a girl living with me by tomorrow.  And I could get married, have kids, and have lots of fun.  And I would surely drop dead long before any of them turned into old ladies. But how would that be fair to them? Or any kids? 

 

I'll pass.  

 

 

[jas007]

2 minutes ago, hotsun said:

So get married in thailand and stay there. Me personally i dont mind getting divorce raped anymore. My kids are all i care about

Yes, but if you get repeatedly "divorce raped," how do you take care of your kids? 

[hotsun]

Just now, jas007 said:

Yes, but if you get repeatedly "divorce raped," how do you take care of your kids? 

In my case i will not be getting married again. One and done

[richard_smith237]

7 minutes ago, jas007 said:

And I would surely drop dead long before any of them turned into old ladies. But how would that be fair to them? Or any kids? 

 

And props to you for making that conscious decision...  For I see  many old men who may never father their children into their teens, and I quite agree, thats unfair for any potential child.... 

 

 

 

[MalcolmB]

2 hours ago, steven100 said:

 

So why do you have the heading for Thai wife or girlfriend only then. 

Because I am not really interested in you gay guys.

[MalcolmB]

1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

People do make poor choices – sometimes repeatedly – and when they do, it's far more a reflection on the chooser

Indeed

 

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

I should be jaded, as I picked the wrong woman 3 times, and had children with them.

Makes you wonder

[fredwiggy]

8 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Indeed

 

Makes you wonder

Yes, some people are of a trusting nature, and that's who the narcissists look for. Very simple, as other narcissists aren't easy targets, as they already don't care, so they can't be as readily used as good people can. Some are also people that try to help others in life, and again, those are the ones targeted.

[fredwiggy]

9 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

And props to you for making that conscious decision...  For I see  many old men who may never father their children into their teens, and I quite agree, thats unfair for any potential child.... 

 

 

 

Also, many young and older men who will never be a father to any children they help conceive. For any age.