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MILFs, Mates, and Mary Jane — Just a Typical Pattaya Evening

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  • Views 3.5k
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  • FolkGuitar
    FolkGuitar

    And yet another delightful tale of the life and loves of Lewie London! Thanks, Lewie! Your imagination, combined with a touch of AI, turns a routine morning into a fun romp, making a delightful r

  • jimmybcool
    jimmybcool

    Don't even care if it's fiction.  Twas a good read.  😄

  • Lying Lewie 

16 hours ago, Magictoad said:

I Never touch any girl over 21 so 40 is like a grandma to me. Do they still have have pussy hair? Or has it all fallen out by then? 40 years old! Blimey! Was it for a bet with your mate?

In other words, you're a keyboard loner...........😂

4 minutes ago, transam said:

In other words, you're a keyboard loner...........😂

94,000 posts. Say no more.

3 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

94,000 posts. Say no more.

Oh, hello, are you looking for more trouble........?....😉

14 minutes ago, Anthony mellows said:

Never get a 2nd post from the cockney joker.Say no more.

All rubbish. Lowbrow stuff. 

1 minute ago, Harrisfan said:

All rubbish. Lowbrow stuff. 

And yours.......?    🤥

On 6/28/2025 at 2:01 PM, angryguy said:

Today i am bored enough so i read it

Score? 1 or 2 from 10?

2 minutes ago, transam said:

And yours.......?    🤥

I'm a doer not a talker. Keyboard warriors are a joke. Go do something with your life. 

  • Popular Post
Just now, Harrisfan said:

I'm a doer not a talker. Keyboard warriors are a joke. Go do something with your life. 

But, you're not doing anything with your life, in shows in your daily posts.........:saai:

1 minute ago, transam said:

But, you're not doing anything with your life, in shows in your daily posts.........:saai:

I do more in 7 days than you do in 7 months. You are a hermit. It shows in all your posts. No substance at all. You can barely put a thought together.

1 minute ago, Harrisfan said:

I do more in 7 days than you do in 7 months. You are a hermit. It shows in all your posts. No substance at all. You can barely put a thought together.

Of course, you do, I'm sure 7/11 are very happy with your help...........:clap2:

11 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Score? 1 or 2 from 10?

5 for originality. Theyre all about this guy passing on sex at every opportunity lol

3 minutes ago, transam said:

Of course, you do, I'm sure 7/11 are very happy with your help...........:clap2:

Name 5 things you did last month

3 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

I do more in 7 days than you do in 7 months. You are a hermit. It shows in all your posts. No substance at all. You can barely put a thought together.

 

Fresh off your three-day posting ban and already bragging about how much you do in seven days while spewing the same tired, brain-dead drivel. Impressive dedication to failure. Even when you’re banned, you’re logged in 16 hours a day lurking like anyone actually misses you. What’s next, another delusional claim about being the site’s most popular poster? Truly inspiring levels of desperation.

39 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

I'm a doer not a talker. Keyboard warriors are a joke. Go do something with your life. 

As one of the most prolific keyboard warriors on AN I find your comment hilarious.

 

PS; Maybe it is you that should "Go do something with your life. "

40 minutes ago, transam said:

But, you're not doing anything with your life, in shows in your daily posts.........:saai:

I think you meant to say "it shows in your multitudinous and pointless daily posts"

40 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

I do more in 7 days than you

Do what?

(I mean apart from pointless posts that is!)

4 hours ago, Thingamabob said:

I wouldn't call him a liar, merely a bore.

So you're here just for the replies to the OP??

35 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Name 5 things you did last month

What a stupid question as everyone can answer it with just the following for starters.

Woke up

Had a shower

Had breakfast

Had lunch

Had supper 

etc etc

30 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Got no life too

We know you don't so there is no need to keep telling us!

On 6/27/2025 at 4:01 PM, Lewie London said:

So I’m out yesterday for an early evening stroll down Walking Street, yeah. Just fancied a butcher’s at the scene before the herds of selfie-stick w*nkers and bar-crawlin’ stag dos clog it all up later. Sun’s droppin’, neon begins flickerin’, air thick with the sweet stench of pad krapow and dodgy petrol. Pattaya, innit mates.

 

Then I clock this posh-lookin’ weed shop, all glass doors and LED lights, vibes smoother than a waxed minge. Now, I’m not exactly a Cheech or Chong level bake-head meself, but a cheeky puff here and there never did no geezer like me no harm. Plus, everyone inside looked well chill, loungin’ on beanbags like they’d found religion in a Rizla packet. So I figure, why not Lewie, and step in for a butcher’s cause it's Friday anyway, yeah.

 

Then I’m just standin’ at the counter, browsin’ them oversized Mason jars with names like Galactic Purple Snatch, Mango Kush, and Gorilla Balls thinkin’ they might as well be bloody Pokémon. And then she appears. Early 40s, definite MILF quality, bit of class in the way she moves, dressed in 501 Levi's with some style, got that confident aura like she’s been around the block but still turns heads. Speaking excellent Blighty English. A bit posh actually. At first I thought she worked there, the way she started chattin’ and recommendin’ strains. Then it clicked she’s just another puffster.

 

She leans in close, proper conspiratorial, and goes, “Why don’t you try some of mine first? Then you’ll know what you like before you buy.” Can’t argue with logic like that, so I saunter over to her table. Then she whips a fat pre-rolled cone on me like she’s practiced this routine more times than I’ve had piss warm beers, lights it up, and we start sharin’ a few puffs.

 

Turns out the stuff’s smoother than a politician’s apology. We’re sat there lettin’ the world go fuzzy round the edges, chinwaggin’ about nothin’ in particular. Then she mentions she’s a bit lonely at times these days. Said her boyfriend from Dublin only shows up once every 4-6 fortnights, and when he’s gone, she’s knockin’ about on her own. I reckon the spliff’s hittin' her hard now, ‘cause next thing she’s gigglin’ and slides right onto me lap, arms around me neck like we’re in an old school disco.

 

I’m sittin’ there, stoned off me nut, but still hearin’ her talk about the Irish fella. She’s proper tasty for her age, articulate too, not just some brainless barfly. But I’m thinkin’, this is how you end up on the wrong end of a shillelagh if Mr. Dublin decides to pop back in for a surprise visit.

 

So now I’m torn. On one hand, she’s very attractive, funny, and I’ve not had a night like this in donkey’s years. On the other, I’ve got a strong sense of self-preservation and don’t fancy explainin’ meself to some raging Irishman with fists like hammers.

 

So I just sit there lettin’ her nuzzle in, puffin’ on the joint, and before I know it, we’re gettin’ a bit frisky right there in the beanbag corner. Nothin’ too dodgy, just hands wanderin’ a bit, giggles, and her breath warm on me ear. Felt like I was nineteen again, truth be told lads.

 

But then me phone buzzes, it’s me mate Simon remindin’ me about our dinner plans at this proper Lebo joint. Couldn’t exactly blow him off, he's only in town for two nights and he's a solid mate. So I ease her off me lap, tells her, love, I’ve gotta dash, but she scribbles her number on a pack of hemp papers and tucks it into me pocket with a cheeky grin.

 

Might give her a bell sometime, yeah. When I’m sure that lad from The Old Sod just left town and not gonna appear outta nowhere like a pissed-off leprechaun whilst I'm on the downstroke.

 

Pattaya mates, where you pop in for a look and a sniff and end up dodgin’ Irish blokes.

 

You have such an exciting and adventurous life.  Thanks for sharing.  I was missing Bob and here you are!  Keep those stories coming dude.

6 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Score? 1 or 2 from 10?

I give him a 10 out of 10.  A good way to trigger the ovulating farangs

10 hours ago, BLMFem said:

So you're here just for the replies to the OP??

Mainly.

16 hours ago, Aussie999 said:

Is this a chatGPT post...far too detailed...BS

 

Sometimes... not always, mind you, but sometimes...  It's a good idea to actually READ what has been written previously before posting.
Less chance of stating the obvious.

2 hours ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

Sometimes... not always, mind you, but sometimes...  It's a good idea to actually READ what has been written previously before posting.
Less chance of stating the obvious.

Shouldn't have to read previous posts, especially when we don't know which ones to refer to, or how far to scroll back.

34 minutes ago, Aussie999 said:

Shouldn't have to read previous posts, especially when we don't know which ones to refer to, or how far to scroll back.

LOL!  This reminds me of the Republican senator who says there's no need to read 'the big beautiful bill' before signing it.

 

On 6/29/2025 at 2:11 PM, Ralf001 said:

he is over the age of 18 isn't he ?

How The Fook am I Supposed to know ?? I Don't even KNOW Him !!

This guy really has some wild dreams... and then he writes about them when he wakes up!

On 6/28/2025 at 6:01 AM, Lewie London said:

So I’m out yesterday for an early evening stroll down Walking Street, yeah. Just fancied a butcher’s at the scene before the herds of selfie-stick w*nkers and bar-crawlin’ stag dos clog it all up later. Sun’s droppin’, neon begins flickerin’, air thick with the sweet stench of pad krapow and dodgy petrol. Pattaya, innit mates.

 

Then I clock this posh-lookin’ weed shop, all glass doors and LED lights, vibes smoother than a waxed minge. Now, I’m not exactly a Cheech or Chong level bake-head meself, but a cheeky puff here and there never did no geezer like me no harm. Plus, everyone inside looked well chill, loungin’ on beanbags like they’d found religion in a Rizla packet. So I figure, why not Lewie, and step in for a butcher’s cause it's Friday anyway, yeah.

 

Then I’m just standin’ at the counter, browsin’ them oversized Mason jars with names like Galactic Purple Snatch, Mango Kush, and Gorilla Balls thinkin’ they might as well be bloody Pokémon. And then she appears. Early 40s, definite MILF quality, bit of class in the way she moves, dressed in 501 Levi's with some style, got that confident aura like she’s been around the block but still turns heads. Speaking excellent Blighty English. A bit posh actually. At first I thought she worked there, the way she started chattin’ and recommendin’ strains. Then it clicked she’s just another puffster.

 

She leans in close, proper conspiratorial, and goes, “Why don’t you try some of mine first? Then you’ll know what you like before you buy.” Can’t argue with logic like that, so I saunter over to her table. Then she whips a fat pre-rolled cone on me like she’s practiced this routine more times than I’ve had piss warm beers, lights it up, and we start sharin’ a few puffs.

 

Turns out the stuff’s smoother than a politician’s apology. We’re sat there lettin’ the world go fuzzy round the edges, chinwaggin’ about nothin’ in particular. Then she mentions she’s a bit lonely at times these days. Said her boyfriend from Dublin only shows up once every 4-6 fortnights, and when he’s gone, she’s knockin’ about on her own. I reckon the spliff’s hittin' her hard now, ‘cause next thing she’s gigglin’ and slides right onto me lap, arms around me neck like we’re in an old school disco.

 

I’m sittin’ there, stoned off me nut, but still hearin’ her talk about the Irish fella. She’s proper tasty for her age, articulate too, not just some brainless barfly. But I’m thinkin’, this is how you end up on the wrong end of a shillelagh if Mr. Dublin decides to pop back in for a surprise visit.

 

So now I’m torn. On one hand, she’s very attractive, funny, and I’ve not had a night like this in donkey’s years. On the other, I’ve got a strong sense of self-preservation and don’t fancy explainin’ meself to some raging Irishman with fists like hammers.

 

So I just sit there lettin’ her nuzzle in, puffin’ on the joint, and before I know it, we’re gettin’ a bit frisky right there in the beanbag corner. Nothin’ too dodgy, just hands wanderin’ a bit, giggles, and her breath warm on me ear. Felt like I was nineteen again, truth be told lads.

 

But then me phone buzzes, it’s me mate Simon remindin’ me about our dinner plans at this proper Lebo joint. Couldn’t exactly blow him off, he's only in town for two nights and he's a solid mate. So I ease her off me lap, tells her, love, I’ve gotta dash, but she scribbles her number on a pack of hemp papers and tucks it into me pocket with a cheeky grin.

 

Might give her a bell sometime, yeah. When I’m sure that lad from The Old Sod just left town and not gonna appear outta nowhere like a pissed-off leprechaun whilst I'm on the downstroke.

 

Pattaya mates, where you pop in for a look and a sniff and end up dodgin’ Irish blokes.

Ever considered writing a book, 🤔

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