The Dangers Of Staying Here To Long

[snowflake]

I have recently spend the most of my freetime (in school) surfing the net and looking at the world outside... I feel like I am getting lost and forgotten by the world that revolves around this little place where I stay... It seems that nothing or noone cares about what has happened here at all...

For the last year or so there has been many tragic events in this little town, but noone seems to care, neither do I, but there should be at least one person that wants to get news out of this place...

I have thought about leaving Thailand for over one year now and I do know that the time will come soon, maybe much sooner than I have told my friends... The thing is that I am tired of being left behind and I can see that in the comming years there are so many things that I have to see or learn about. I have come to the conclusion that Thailand is like a black hole, it pulls you in...

The longer you stay here the more difficult it will be to leave. Not because of the GF or anything like that. It is the slow moving no working brain nevermind philosophy that pulls you down... I would compare it with magic.... The fun and willingness to try something new is just vanishing day by day, month after month, week after week, and satang after satang (THEY DO FLY FAST)...

Sean has tried to start a resturant, will it succeed? Don't know, but I do know that he can never get rich on it. He will struggle for a long time but I do hope he will succeed...

Another Farang here has succeeded but he built his business up around education, took a long time but he managed...

I looked last year into buying half a popular club, but due to my nationality (GIVE MONEY--> NOT YOUR NAME) it went down the drain... I could be rich now...

I have realized that I have to take the step up and start spinning my brain (whats left of it) up to a speed where I can comfortably move over to the western seaboards....

I do wish I had the willpower to slam my head agains the table to see if anything usefull fell out (doubt it would).

BTW... How come that only 24 million people voted when there are 45 million registered voters? Can I smell a scam going on here?

I have had enough... I will leave the country since I can not change anything... But unlike several other people, I will try to go out with style. The school has been nice to me, the people have been nice to me.. I gave it a good run but in the end, it broke me down...

[toptuan]

I have had enough... I will leave the country since I can not change anything...

Some questions are begging here...

Did you change anything in your own country?

What did you want to change here?

How long have you endured this apparent hel_l-hole?

[Jingthing]

Thanks for sharing.

[seonai]

Where do you live???

[markwhite]

It seems that nothing or noone cares about what has happened here at all...

You posted something to that effect not so long ago. It sounds like you're having a real hard time right now :-(

The thing is that I am tired of being left behind and I can see that in the comming years there are so many things that I have to see or learn about. I have come to the conclusion that Thailand is like a black hole, it pulls you in...

If you'll excuse me playing devil's advocate for a moment...

If you were to look at this from totally the opposite viewpoint: there is nothing you need to see or learn about, there is nothing for you to be left behind from except your expectations. Thailand is the place that shows you that.

Personally I think there's a lot of viewpoints in between the two extremes that provide a more balanced way of living.

Sean has tried to start a resturant, will it succeed? Don't know, but I do know that he can never get rich on it. He will struggle for a long time but I do hope he will succeed...

What's "success" in your book?

I have realized that I have to take the step up and start spinning my brain (whats left of it) up to a speed where I can comfortably move over to the western seaboards....

Then I wish you well.

I do wish I had the willpower to slam my head agains the table to see if anything usefull fell out (doubt it would).

You sound so very, very down :-(

I have had enough... I will leave the country since I can not change anything... But unlike several other people, I will try to go out with style. The school has been nice to me, the people have been nice to me.. I gave it a good run but in the end, it broke me down...

Again, I wish you well with whatever happens in your life.

[khall64au]

Snowflake,

It is a long haul - trying to make a difference. Do us a favour - if you can - and come to Phuket to talk to a few ThaiVisa members who have been through some major historic times these past few years. Maybe we can help - since we have experienced similar ?

Hope to hear from you soon.

[ngangu]

Hey Snowflake,

Nothing is forever, and there's nothing like a trip home to give you some perspective. I'm recently back in the US after 3 yrs n Thai. I was pretty burnt out on all the little annoying things, and a few not so little, that we encounter while living there. I'm enjoying being here but there are an equal amount of annoyances here for sure!! Life is generally more difficult and consuming here,and there are many things I miss about Thailand. Like meeting you and the gang at 99 on a Friday night!

I get bored and tire of routines no matter where I am, so I like to keep moving. Maybe you could go home for a month or 2 and see what it feels like? Thailand isn't going anywhere and there are many other desirable destinations to try if you do decide you've had it! Good luck with climbing out of the doldrums whatever you decide. Chok di!!

P.S. if you leave want your job!

[khall64au]

I can cook.... When do we leave?

[snowflake]

To all of you,

I am here on my sixth year now, so I have seen the most here in town... I have been to many different places here in Thailand and I was in Phuket a few days after the tsunami...

I do wish one could go home once a year or so just to see how much of a hel_l hole it is in the wild west, but as everyone that lives on a teacher salary here in NST will agree upon, you can not go home...

Well we will see what time can bring, will I stay or will I leave... ( I do have some things going for me these days, my golf, school is good but thats about it... What would life in the western hemisphere bring???

There is always good and bad things in every country, but this can't surely be the best...

I guess I am just in a downface now so we will see, might skip to Europe for a few days and then see how that feels like... Have a long vacation comming now..

[jimmym40]

Don't know how old you are. But the saying comes to mind: "The grass is always greener..."

I bet we all living here in Thailand get fed up with what we have to put up with, but in the end, most of us remain.

Sounds like you need some time back in your home country. Take a break, you might see your blight as not being so bad after all.

[snowflake]

I was just told today that I can get a week off during xmas to go and see my brother and my family back there....

I think I will jump on that and I will take off from the warm days here to the ###### cold weather there... ..

Made me a bit more happy... Will be sad to leave my GF for those days, but I am sure that she will be ok

Thanks for trying to cheer me up...

[seonai]

you still haven't said where you're living. I do feel very sorry for you however Snow, I hope you find some light and fairies soon

[PeaceBlondie]

snowflake mentioned NST, so we can guess he's knocking on old Sea Tommyrot.

[Robski]

It seems that nothing or noone cares about what has happened here at all...

I have noticed that many threads in the Southern Thailand Forum do go largely ignored, even when they are about terrible tragedies.

Why? I would imagine for most posters it is something they feel they are just not knowledgable enough to comment on,

or just that conflict is something they came to Thailand to avoid.

Thai's themselves are acutely aware of what is happening in southern Thailand so it is hardly an issue that is being forgotton about.

I would agree with Khall and make the effort to go up to Phuket even if it's for a day or two, rather than chucking it all in on the off-chance that you might be happy back in the west, I've found in the past TV members to be very supportive and just chatting and having a laugh with some like minded people can really make all the difference.

It is very rare for the majority of us to make a difference in this world, but it sounds like you have done just that with your teaching, well done you are to be congratulated.

Now get yourself out of there for a few days, a change of perspective will do you good

Edited August 22, 2007 by Robski

[snowflake]

Thanks to all of you,,,

I do know that some time away will do me good, but what if there is more to life than just teaching English in a school in Thailand?

Lately I have just been bored to tears by doing nothing, the schools are changing and the people are changing too...

When I first came here 6 years ago, everything was different, now it is less personal, which is great if you live in a big city where you can find some fun... Down here in Nakhonsri Thammarat there is nothing resembling a nightlife, NO GOOD FOOD (NOT EVEN HALF DECENT) Traffic is a mess, Thais cant drive if their lives depended on it. There is no cinema with English soundtrack (Just Thai flicks with English subtitles)... How much could one take?

Sure I could move to another place in Thailand to work, a place where they do have these things, like Phuket, but what salary do you get? How can one survive on 40000B in PHUKET, where every farang is looked upon as a walkin atm...

Surely there is something better out there?

[Tatler]

Snowflake, what are you missing?? what are you wanting to do?? We can't change anything in Thailand, the Thai's are too proud of the very little that they have. Bring up an idea on the way things are done in are country (road rules, education etc..) are thrown straight back in your face with the reply everyone has heard before " if you don't like it leave Thailand " How can we change Thai people that think like that?? its the same as trying to swim up a waterfall !! NO CHANCE................

Edited August 23, 2007 by Tatler

[snowflake]

Snowflake, what are you missing?? what are you wanting to do?? We can't change anything in Thailand, the Thai's are too proud of the very little that they have. Bring up an idea on the way things are done in are country (road rules, education etc..) are thrown straight back in your face with the reply everyone has heard before " if you don't like it leave Thailand " How can we change Thai people that think like that?? its the same as trying to swim up a waterfall !! NO CHANCE................

I can swim up the waterfall... I am a very good swimmer...

[markwhite]

I do know that some time away will do me good, but what if there is more to life than just teaching English in a school in Thailand?

There is, but everyone finds it at their own time and in their own way. It sounds like you're starting to realise you haven't found it and it's affecting your life.

I do know that some time away will do me good, but what

Down here in Nakhonsri Thammarat there is nothing resembling a nightlife, NO GOOD FOOD (NOT EVEN HALF DECENT) Traffic is a mess, Thais cant drive if their lives depended on it. There is no cinema with English soundtrack (Just Thai flicks with English subtitles)... How much could one take?

An old acquaintance of mine was working in China teaching English for many years. He started off working 14 hour days in Korea, then ended up teaching private students for a few hours each week for big money in China.

The rest of his time (this was maybe 3 years ago) was spent stoned, walking round shopping malls picking up girls, going to nightclubs and picking up girls, and eating out. And that was about it. He maintained he had the perfect lifestyle, but there was little in how he was that give me any impression he was truly happy. He had his cushy job that paid good money for little work, he had the nightlife, he had great food and his girlfriend was a fine cook. But it wasn't what he truly wanted and he became a very cynical, angry and destructive person to be around.

Edited August 23, 2007 by markwhite

[snowflake]

I like my work, I do like teaching, but it would be nice to make more money as well... As you know there are a few older people down here with not much money at all and I do not want to end up like that... (NO OFFENCE GUYS).

How can I get out of this spiral of bad thoughts that only goes one way?

Things I like in Thailand

Drive as fast as I can

Cheap petrol

Good looking girls

Nice weather

I can play golf when I want to

Things I do not like in Thailand

One type of weather

little money (salary is not much)

Stupid car prices

lots of "stupid" people (uneducated Thais)

dirty

expensive gadgets

I know you can easily find points like this in every country and it will change for each individul, but these are big things for someone...

Well I will keep you updated...

[Rhys]

Say Bro... The cool breeze and surf call for you in a different land...you feel it is time to go.. Go with it.. You have enjoyed your time here..Experience the changes that will never occur in a land that is not yours..Go make your way.

All the best.. Cheers mate

[ricky63]

I sympathize with Snowflake, and I need to understand more of what is missing in your life there. It sounds to me like you might be happier in a different part of Thailand... Phuket, Chiang Mai, or even Bkk.

I am planning to "retire" (really, I doubt if I will ever stop working) to Thailand in the next few years, so this subject is very interesting to me.

Because I have a PLAN, there is a sequence of events I am executing. Briefly, I am making as much money as possible so that I don't have to worry about it once I move there. Then, I am setting up my bank and trading accounts, so that there is a steady stream of (very good) monthly income. My Thai wife already has land and houses, so we will have a place to stay. We have a rubber garden, which should give us some income, as well.

Once I move there, I am planning on joining a golf/mens club, and volunteering for the "most deserving" charitable organization I can find.

Just a simple question to the board: If you have the basics of life covered (housing, food, medical, entertainment, etc), is there enough in Thailand to keep your interest, and keep you happy?

I know here in farangland, we are constantly bombarded by "bad news," ie War, crime, economic worries, etc. I feel that if I can escape that "noise," I can live a happier life. I feel the "grass is greener" in Thailand.

Can you guys please weigh in?

[markwhite]

Just a simple question to the board: If you have the basics of life covered (housing, food, medical, entertainment, etc), is there enough in Thailand to keep your interest, and keep you happy?

Isn't that the crux of it for a lot people here? What does keep your interest and what level of entertainment do you need in your life to keep you happy?

There seem to be many comments across the forums I look at here that come from people who just get bored no matter what they have to do. That's a bit different from what snowflake is saying (I think) but your's is a different question. Many farangs here seem to turn to the drink/bar-girls distractions, or some go the other way and try to immerse themselves into Thai society and community. I suppose others don't stop looking at what they have around them - namely places that many people travel thousands of miles to to spend two weeks holiday. But endless visits to beaches, national parks, wats and waterfalls doesn't do it for everyone. Other people never leave their condo or favourite soi and complain that they have nothing to do ;-)

For me, it is a state of mind. Before I spent a lot of my time in England in a bottle or watching TV or going to work, and very little else. I lived in a town that tourists visited but never went to any of the places myself. I didn't go out and enjoy nature or look for things to do to stimulate my interest. That changed shortly before I came here and though I've had short periods while here where I have wanted time to pass a little quicker (like the month spent trying to find the owner of a house I wanted to rent while living in very basic accomodation), mostly I only get bored occasionally and for short periods, which I know will pass if I do something about it. But then I've only been out here for two years so maybe that will change in the future.

I know here in farangland, we are constantly bombarded by "bad news," ie War, crime, economic worries, etc. I feel that if I can escape that "noise," I can live a happier life. I feel the "grass is greener" in Thailand.

For the last year in England before I came here, I didn't watch TV except when I was at friend's houses, I didn't read newspapers, and didn't look at news websites. I swapped my very boring job for Ebaying which was easy and fun and paid the bills. I got out more. I had a great time, but I had a strong state of mind and did something with it. Nothing changed except me and what influences I decided to allow into my life.

There is the underlying dilemma that snowflake refers to - why is the world so sh*tty sometimes, what can I do about it, where is my real place? All the standard existential angst. For me, I've found the place in me where I really exist, I try to accept that there are some answers I don't have right now but that they will come one day and try to deal with the frustration in the meantime, and I remember the long horrible years I spent in England and sometimes stop and remind myself exactly where I am and what I'm doing and allow myself to feel good about it.

[bingobongo]

I sympathize with Snowflake, and I need to understand more of what is missing in your life there. It sounds to me like you might be happier in a different part of Thailand... Phuket, Chiang Mai, or even Bkk.

I am planning to "retire" (really, I doubt if I will ever stop working) to Thailand in the next few years, so this subject is very interesting to me.

Because I have a PLAN, there is a sequence of events I am executing. Briefly, I am making as much money as possible so that I don't have to worry about it once I move there. Then, I am setting up my bank and trading accounts, so that there is a steady stream of (very good) monthly income. My Thai wife already has land and houses, so we will have a place to stay. We have a rubber garden, which should give us some income, as well.

Once I move there, I am planning on joining a golf/mens club, and volunteering for the "most deserving" charitable organization I can find.

Just a simple question to the board: If you have the basics of life covered (housing, food, medical, entertainment, etc), is there enough in Thailand to keep your interest, and keep you happy?

I know here in farangland, we are constantly bombarded by "bad news," ie War, crime, economic worries, etc. I feel that if I can escape that "noise," I can live a happier life. I feel the "grass is greener" in Thailand.

Can you guys please weigh in?

the "grass is greener" where you water it, if a person's expectations are greater than the reality presented then they will never be content no matter where they go

[snowflake]

I think that I have been here longer than a few tourist people that stays for a year and then leaves... Something happened on friday evening, don't know but I was sitting at home and I came to peace with myself, suddenly Nakhon was not so bad anymore... Then I went out for some food, it all came back again... It was a very nice meal and I truly enjoyed the company even if the Australiens (sissys) had to move inside because of the rain...

I am a memeber of a golf club, and believe me, I have been searching for something to do for the last few years as a hobby.

Things are a bit brighter but my mind is still set on going back to Europe, not sure where but away from Thailand...

[markwhite]

I was sitting at home and I came to peace with myself, suddenly Nakhon was not so bad anymore...

I don't want this to sound facile, because I truly believe in it:

In what you have said here, you have an answer. There's no need for anything outside of yourself to make you feel at peace and 'happy'. The trick is to maintain that even when outside circumstances are conspiring to upset your equilibrium.

I am a memeber of a golf club, and believe me, I have been searching for something to do for the last few years as a hobby.

Each to their own. I truly believe that and if having hobbies and interests bring happiness into people's lives, then I'm pleased for them and do not intend to say they shouldn't have them.

But hobbies stop. You put down your golf clubs, or book, or turn the computer or TV off, or whatever else it is and always, absolutely always, you are left with you and nothing more. If you are happy with yourself, hobbies add to your life. If you are unhappy with yourself, your hobbies just distract you so you don't have to face up to the problem and do something about it.

[Aussie yoyo]

Hi Snow, I just got back home after 4.5 yrs. I hope your return home is better than mine. I feel like i am walking on egg shells the whole time. All friends have changed, married, kids, etc. Trying to get used to sarcasim again. I dont really fit in. I guess my best advice would be, have a plan on what your going to do, because feeling like a useless stuned mullet sux.

[sbk]

Thread is three years old but I'd be interested to hear how he turned out too. Living a relaxed and easy lifestyle does make one lazy, I think.

[toptuan]

Thread is three years old but I'd be interested to hear how he turned out too. Living a relaxed and easy lifestyle does make one lazy, I think.

It sure spares you the physical costs of stress, though! Something serious to consider if you're over 50.

I came here in my early 50's (60 now), and arrived just in time to avoid serious stress-related illnesses which have befallen almost all my friends back in the home-country rat race. I feel semi-retired (with a full-time job), but really believe the more relaxed life-style will extend my life span more than had I stayed back in the old job/old environment. And actually, I feel MORE productive here, able to focus on priorities rather than getting eaten up by the minutia which can so plague high-stress jobs and life-styles.

[SeanMoran]

Three years ago when I returned to Australia after another six months here, I found it wise when people asked me where I had just come from or where I planned on returning to once I had the money for the ticket, to say, "Asia" rather than "Thailand" for there is a misguided reputation about this fair nation, and those innuendos get old rather quickly when your own GP starts mouthing off about all the fun he had last year in some brothel in Pattaya.

Don't ever put any trust on anyone elses' mind if you want to communicate the truth. Just put on your resume that you did some time in foreign aid and support work in Asia, and never ever mention the word "Thailand" or word will get around that you must indubitably be some kind of sicko sex-tourist.

Sad but that's the gossip that those numbskulls back home will think of you if you ever have the courage to tell them where you have been. Don't cast your pearls amongst swine.

[samuibeachcomber]

Three years ago when I returned to Australia after another six months here, I found it wise when people asked me where I had just come from or where I planned on returning to once I had the money for the ticket, to say, "Asia" rather than "Thailand" for there is a misguided reputation about this fair nation, and those innuendos get old rather quickly when your own GP starts mouthing off about all the fun he had last year in some brothel in Pattaya.

Don't ever put any trust on anyone elses' mind if you want to communicate the truth. Just put on your resume that you did some time in foreign aid and support work in Asia, and never ever mention the word "Thailand" or word will get around that you must indubitably be some kind of sicko sex-tourist.

Sad but that's the gossip that those numbskulls back home will think of you if you ever have the courage to tell them where you have been. Don't cast your pearls amongst swine.

agree with you.I was back in the UK visiting family,staying in a guest house,and at breakfast time in diningroom got talking to an old guy who asked me where i lived.When i told him thailand,he frowned,and then asked if i had married a thai lady.I told him i had and as a result he stoped talking to me and got up and left the table making it quite plan by his facial expressions just what he though of my replies.Its one reason i would be very reluctant to resettle back in the west with thai wife or a g/f.too much prejudice.just dont need that in my/our lives.