do you sit and socialize, or do you make yourself scarce?

I tend to make my wais and then disappear to watch TV. Making conversation is just too hard and it involves my partner being a full time translator.

12 minutes ago, giddyup said:

do you sit and socialize, or do you make yourself scarce?

I tend to make my wais and then disappear to watch TV. Making conversation is just too hard and it involves my partner being a full time translator.

Why do you need a translator? Have you not been in Thailand long? If so, why not hang about when the damily turn up and learn the language from them?

25 minutes ago, giddyup said:

do you sit and socialize, or do you make yourself scarce?

I tend to make my wais and then disappear to watch TV. Making conversation is just too hard and it involves my partner being a full time translator.

The good thing about building a house is that you can design the layout and put your own space as far away from the kitchen as possible.

12 minutes ago, Hummin said:

The good thing about building a house is that you can design the layout and put your own space as far away from the kitchen as possible.

If I want privacy I just go to the bedroom.

Yes, when the tribe arrives to cut the lawns & tidy up the garden, I offer a double shot short black ('espresso' for non-Aussies) to the only members of the family that can cope ( 2 brothers), then disappear upstairs to my library. My b/f keeps them all fed thru the day with takeaways from the PTT restaurants up the road.

I take care however at the end of the day to venture forth and inspect their good works, smiling & nodding pleasantly as they watch me nervously. My b/f then pays them appropriately according to status & works done, then they clamber in to the truck and head off back to the farm 40 km away.

Phew! Apart from my occasional state visits to the farm to give my PILs a hug, that's about it on a monthly basis (depending on weather & time of year).

13 hours ago, giddyup said:

do you sit and socialize, or do you make yourself scarce?

I tend to make my wais and then disappear to watch TV. Making conversation is just too hard and it involves my partner being a full time translator.

How many years here, and the only thing you expect, is people to understand you and your language. A terrible behavior. Even if you can´t speak, why do you run away? Very disrespectful!

13 hours ago, Hummin said:

The good thing about building a house is that you can design the layout and put your own space as far away from the kitchen as possible.

Ok, so you came to Thailand and married or started a family, just to build a house that has your own space?? Are you for real? A house should be designed so places are for everyone. After that, it´s the people living together that should respect each other and give space when necessary.

But you are probably another runner that hides in the corner when family arrives. Horrible!

12 hours ago, mfd101 said:

Yes, when the tribe arrives to cut the lawns & tidy up the garden, I offer a double shot short black ('espresso' for non-Aussies) to the only members of the family that can cope ( 2 brothers), then disappear upstairs to my library. My b/f keeps them all fed thru the day with takeaways from the PTT restaurants up the road.

I take care however at the end of the day to venture forth and inspect their good works, smiling & nodding pleasantly as they watch me nervously. My b/f then pays them appropriately according to status & works done, then they clamber in to the truck and head off back to the farm 40 km away.

Phew! Apart from my occasional state visits to the farm to give my PILs a hug, that's about it on a monthly basis (depending on weather & time of year).

Do you consider yourself a pleasant and respectful person who knows how to behave?

13 hours ago, youreavinalaff said:

Why do you need a translator? Have you not been in Thailand long? If so, why not hang about when the damily turn up and learn the language from them?

GeographicReference

Exactly! Why do these people move to Thailand? Living here for 2-3 years should be enough to learn to speak and understand. These are only persons who think they are superior and everyone should understand them.

13 hours ago, giddyup said:

do you sit and socialize, or do you make yourself scarce?

I tend to make my wais and then disappear to watch TV. Making conversation is just too hard and it involves my partner being a full time translator.

I go 800km away.

13 hours ago, giddyup said:

do you sit and socialize, or do you make yourself scarce?

I tend to make my wais and then disappear to watch TV. Making conversation is just too hard and it involves my partner being a full time translator.

Real men don't chat or gossip.

I just sit quietly and read a book, or wear headphones and listen to music.

I just hate the way many modern men have become so feminised.

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Real men don't chat or gossip.

I just sit quietly and read a book, or wear headphones and listen to music.

I just hate the way many modern men have become so feminised.

Real men take her away and have 69ers.

On 7/11/2026 at 5:14 PM, giddyup said:

I tend to make my wais and then disappear to watch TV.

That way you do not need to listen to the family and village gossip and they will talk for hours on those subjects.

When the Thai family come to visit....

Go visit the Mia Noi.

Happily single after my 3rd divorce about 12 years ago. 3rd wife was a single daughter with no living parents or family. Sounds great, but she was terrible at sex...

2nd wife bonked like a house on fire, but not just with me.... Her mother was a very nice and gracious lady, but sadly dropped dead in the Issan rice field. Her dad would come to visit, but then disappear off to read the palms of numerous bar girls (we lived in Phuket). He would only return to his daughter when he had amassed a considerable sum of money after only a few hours of 'work'.

I speak Thai, so happily took part in family conversations, but we never got round to discussing blackholes or electromagnetic radiation....

On 7/11/2026 at 5:27 PM, youreavinalaff said:

Why do you need a translator? Have you not been in Thailand long? If so, why not hang about when the damily turn up and learn the language from them?

You assume that everyone has a talent for learning languages. Your assumption is wrong. Same as some have a talent for mathematics or carpentry or anything else, and others don't.

My wife and I met in California we married after a few years bought a home together, she was from Thailand but had come to the US from Philadelphia where her father lived, she moved to San Francisco with her boy friend to take a job as a nurse in the City, she answered a ad that I put in the Bay Guardian for a Asian women for LTR and marriage, there were many details I requested in the ad for a relationship am not going to give details, anyway we met, became friends then she dumped the pot smoking boyfriend and we moved in with each other. Everything worked out well. We started visiting Thailand every vacation we had and before we retired we had family members buy us a condo which we paid for before we decided to move, and in 2013 we left for Thailand, we went back and forth for about 5-6 years then after Covid hit end of 2019 was our last trip back to the US. We are very Happy living in Thailand, I never learned to speak Thai except the basic but I travel by myself, shop, hospital visits and so forth without difficulty. When I was young I had a learning disability and I just can’t learn Thai. Not everyone can. We have a Beach front condo in Cha Am and we have a condo in a Thai neighborhood of Nonthaburi near hospitals, the Mall is a short walk away. 43 years of marriage we are both in our late 70’s and enjoying our retirement. We are both Happy with our choice. Patrick

On 7/12/2026 at 6:55 AM, Gottfrid said:

Living here for 2-3 years should be enough to learn to speak and understand.

Believe me, I have tried, and still try, to learn thai. I know the alphabet and can to a certain degree read thai, but I do not know what I read. I really want to learn thai, but after 15 years I still struggle. i was 62 when I moved here, so may be age is a factor. I agree that living here you should learn the language, but for some of us it is almost impossible to do.

4 hours ago, Bangkok Barry said:

You assume that everyone has a talent for learning languages. Your assumption is wrong. Same as some have a talent for mathematics or carpentry or anything else, and others don't.

No, I don't. I asked questions and made a suggestion.

10 minutes ago, youreavinalaff said:

No, I don't. I asked questions and made a suggestion.

You asked why not hang about when the damily turn up and learn the language from them?

And I answered that not everyone has the ability to learn a foreign language. That's why not.

4 hours ago, Bangkok Barry said:

You assume that everyone has a talent for learning languages. Your assumption is wrong. Same as some have a talent for mathematics or carpentry or anything else, and others don't.

Actually, Thai is one of the most easy languages on the planet, if you do not also want to perfect write (then you need the tones).

The grammatic is simple, for example no verb declination or conjugation, no irregular verbs, a very simple grammatic sequence to build sentences, short words with few syllables (excluding the Pali loanwords), you can avoid most complex grammatical constructs around time forms, and the polite forms for normal daily use are easy to affix (as a general rule for the beginner: just add 'khrap' in absolutely every utterance, you can go from there!).

If you have issues learning the tones, iyou get around by just brutally ignoring them -- you can understand or be understood by context easily. They will come over time by usage.

Assumption here is, that you do not try to use such simple Thai in a business context or within higher society -- then it can get as complicated as anybody can wish. Using it with the family or in daily life, learning Thai is possible, with moderate effort, in a few months at most.

Get yourself a romanized dictionary, sit at the pool, write out sentences you might use the most in daily life, and try them on your girlfriend or wife. Or better, as times have developed, use an app like Anki to have a good index card system.

Most foreigners I know who tell me it is difficult have not even tried, because of "tones", or "the alphabet". Get over yourself and get started, it will be actually fun!

Edited July 14Jul 14 by jts-khorat

25 minutes ago, jts-khorat said:

Actually, Thai is one of the most easy languages on the planet, if you do not also want to perfect write (then you need the tones).

The grammatic is simple, for example no verb declination or conjugation, no irregular verbs, a very simple grammatic sequence to build sentences, short words with few syllables (excluding the Pali loanwords), you can avoid most complex grammatical constructs around time forms, and the polite forms for normal daily use are easy to affix (as a general rule for the beginner: just add 'khrap' in absolutely every utterance, you can go from there!).

If you have issues learning the tones, iyou get around by just brutally ignoring them -- you can understand or be understood by context easily. They will come over time by usage.

Assumption here is, that you do not try to use such simple Thai in a business context or within higher society -- then it can get as complicated as anybody can wish. Using it with the family or in daily life, learning Thai is possible, with moderate effort, in a few months at most.

Get yourself a romanized dictionary, sit at the pool, write out sentences you might use the most in daily life, and try them on your girlfriend or wife. Or better, as times have developed, use an app like Anki to have a good index card system.

Most foreigners I know who tell me it is difficult have not even tried, because of "tones", or "the alphabet". Get over yourself and get started, it will be actually fun!

How would you be learning mathematics, which is as logical as it could possibly be and therefore should be the easiest thing on Earth to learn?

On 7/11/2026 at 5:14 PM, giddyup said:

do you sit and socialize, or do you make yourself scarce?

I fully understand, and it's a more complex question than it appears.

I'm very fortunate that I share a lot of the same interests as some of the family.

I have seen and understand that there are some people in families who want to be center of attention, loud talkers, are more reserved, in the mindset to talk about 1 area or topic and not ready to get involved with a longer discussion.

Lastly some who have different interests.

I generally try to observe and share when it appears appropriate. Contributing by doing what families do, daily chatter, ask about an interest they have, help with something that needs attention Makes you part of the family.

How do you know if it's enough.

Sometimes don't. I do know everything I asked for help with they delivered. When I ask the family cook to fix a dish they are famous for they delivered.

Edited July 14Jul 14 by J Branche

They say hello then ignore me making no effort to involve me in the conversation, I get the odd stare the word farang is mentioned meaning they are talking about me. The only words uttered are buy beer which I ignore.

1 hour ago, Bangkok Barry said:

How would you be learning mathematics, which is as logical as it could possibly be and therefore should be the easiest thing on Earth to learn?

Learning, even for those without certain aptitudes that make it easier for some than others, is simply a function of motivation and effort.

I found, that learning Thai was very difficult for me, as long as I was not motivated: moving to Phuket as a 24-year-old, my time seemed better spent with other things, hence learning progress was abysmal.

As soon as my son was born, I was putting in my 30 minutes a day to keep up with him, and conversational Thai was easy within three months, being able to hold a fairly complex conversation within a year.

Of course, if your starting point is, that you will be unable to learn it anyway, because you are not 'gifted' for learning languages -- I was really bad with languages in school, I would not be able to order a coffee in French even tohugh I had it for 5 years, so I am certainly not 'gifted' in this regard -- and unconsciously you think it a waste of time on top of that, you will fulfill this expectation absolutely. Nobody can help you with that, this must come from inside yourself.

I still would recommend you to at least try it and start, by giving yourself a clear achievable target to fulfill within a given time frame (1 month, 3 months, daily effort 1 hour); those could be, all in Thai: going shopping with your wife in Big C, sitting in a bar and talking to a girl until she laughs about one of your jokes -- an easy task maybe especially if your Thai is just beginner-level :-) , or have a 10 minute talk with the girl at the reception or the guy walking his dog outside your place.

Then sit down, write down example concersations, find all the words; we are in the age of google translate and KI, maybe even have KI write it out for you...! This way, you only learn what you really need in your daily life (instead, for example, how to ask direcitons to the railway station, the classical textbook example). I had, on top of that, a 30 minute session a week with a language teacher to help me with my pronounciation, because I actually had as many problems with the tones as the next guy (until I learned, that my brain makes my mouth speak the correct tone autoamtically, with experience, woithout me actually being able to tell you what tone this specifically was -- humans are built this way!).

Even if you fail at first, iterate with the next Thai, until it works for you. Thais are friendly, and all too happy to please somebody trying to learn!

It is work, certainly, but Thai really is one of the easier languages on the planet, if you just want to do conversation.

Adjust to your needs and at your pleasure (filter for things your really would say), for example for Gemini:

Prompt: write a simple 2 minute friendly conversation with a guy walking his dog in front of your place, in Thai (romanized):

• You: Sawatdee krub! Nong mha naa-rak jang loey. Phan arai ror krub?

  (Hello! Your dog is so cute. What breed is it?)

• Dog Owner: Sawatdee krub! Khob khun krub. Phan Golden Retriever krub. Chue "Leo" krub.

  (Hello! Thank you. He’s a Golden Retriever. His name is Leo.)

• You: Oh, Leo! Yin-dee thee dai roo-jak na Leo. A-yu thao-rai laew krub?

  (Oh, Leo! Nice to meet you, Leo. How old is he?)

• Dog Owner: Seung ja khrob song khuap muea duean thee laew eng krub. Son mak-mak!

  (He just turned two years old last month. Super energetic/naughty!)

...

Edited July 14Jul 14 by jts-khorat

The majority of the wife's family, not all, but her brother and sisters and their partners are educated. We communicate in English.

Edited July 14Jul 14 by emptypockets

17 minutes ago, jts-khorat said:

Learning, even for those without certain aptitudes that make it easier for some than others, is simply a function of motivation and effort.

I found, that learning Thai was very difficult for me, as long as I was not motivated: moving to Phuket as a 24-year-old, my time seemed better spent with other things, hence learning progress was abysmal.

As soon as my son was born, I was putting in my 30 minutes a day to keep up with him, and conversational Thai was easy within three months, being able to hold a fairly complex conversation within a year.

Of course, if your starting point is, that you will be unable to learn it anyway, because you are not 'gifted' for learning languages -- I was really bad with languages in school, I would not be able to order a coffee in French even tohugh I had it for 5 years, so I am certainly not 'gifted' in this regard -- and unconsciously you think it a waste of time on top of that, you will fulfill this expectation absolutely. Nobody can help you with that, this must come from inside yourself.

I still would recommend you to at least try it and start, by giving yourself a clear achievable target to fulfill within a given time frame (1 month, 3 months, daily effort 1 hour); those could be, all in Thai: going shopping with your wife in Big C, sitting in a bar and talking to a girl until she laughs about one of your jokes -- an easy task maybe especially if your Thai is just beginner-level :-) , or have a 10 minute talk with the girl at the reception or the guy walking his dog outside your place.

Then sit down, write down example concersations, find all the words; we are in the age of google translate and KI, maybe even have KI write it out for you...! This way, you only learn what you really need in your daily life (instead, for example, how to ask direcitons to the railway station, the classical textbook example). I had, on top of that, a 30 minute session a week with a language teacher to help me with my pronounciation, because I actually had as many problems with the tones as the next guy (until I learned, that my brain makes my mouth speak the correct tone autoamtically, with experience, woithout me actually being able to tell you what tone this specifically was -- humans are built this way!).

Even if you fail at first, iterate with the next Thai, until it works for you. Thais are friendly, and all too happy to please somebody trying to learn!

It is work, certainly, but Thai really is one of the easier languages on the planet, if you just want to do conversation.

Adjust to your needs and at your pleasure (filter for things your really would say), for example for Gemini:

Thanks for your extensive and informative input.

The Thai family only live 200m away and visits are usually for an event.

They eat, drink, play pool, darts, table football......so it's easy for me to dip in and out.

9 hours ago, Geir Rasch said:

Believe me, I have tried, and still try, to learn thai. I know the alphabet and can to a certain degree read thai, but I do not know what I read. I really want to learn thai, but after 15 years I still struggle. i was 62 when I moved here, so may be age is a factor. I agree that living here you should learn the language, but for some of us it is almost impossible to do.

TravelGuides & Travelogues

Yeah, I can understand that you might have difficulties of writing and reading Thai. However, if you guys just bothered to learn about 200-250 words and words like there, here, where, how, to, when and so on..... Also add I, you, they, we, she, he, it, sister, brother, family, and bla bla bla. Might end up with 300 items to learn, and then you could actually have a conversation with almost any Thai person.

47 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

Yeah, I can understand that you might have difficulties of writing and reading Thai. However, if you guys just bothered to learn about 200-250 words and words like there, here, where, how, to, when and so on..... Also add I, you, they, we, she, he, it, sister, brother, family, and bla bla bla. Might end up with 300 items to learn, and then you could actually have a conversation with almost any Thai person.

I fully agree with that. I cannot read or write a single word. But I can have conversations without any issues and it does help me in many situations. And believe me it is very interesting to know what your girlfriend or wife is talking with her family or friends about you. You would be very surprised. I have been in remote areas in Thailand where English is not understood and some knowledge of the language is priceless and can lead to great new relationships.

9 hours ago, Bangkok Barry said:

You asked why not hang about when the damily turn up and learn the language from them?

And I answered that not everyone has the ability to learn a foreign language. That's why not.

Why are you answering for others? I'll wait until the poster answers my questions. Thanks.

when the "Moochers" come over

I open the "back door" to let them in thru the kitchen.. I stand at the door to shut it.. so no flies enter and as they have the I live in a barn mentality and also drop all the sandels in front of the door and step all over each others.... I call them out and kick them to the side.. NO shoes/sandels ...whatever in front of the door.. period. and if we put food out, I "quickly remind them.. "DO NOT" put the spoon from your mouth into the serving plate

if I want "culture.... I'll eat yogurt ! ( oh.. and chew with your FFFFFF mouth closed ) .. and my lovely wife backs it (me) all up 100%

and yes I'll sit there and engage in the small talk with them

Our house.. our rules.. !!