What's The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Heard Of?

[ballzafire]

I'd like to kick off this thread by saying that for me it would have to be:

An old Catholic priest counseling a young newlywed couple on how to have a healthy sex life.

(no offense to Catholics, but I think you know what I'm talking about, based on events in the news in recent years...)

Edited October 27, 2007 by ballzafire

[kelvinj]

Tony Blair as the Middle East peace envoy.

[Fred Sanford]

Threads like this in a thai forum

[ballzafire]

Threads like this in a thai forum

It's the General Topics Forum.

Why not?

[ballzafire]

Tony Blair as the Middle East peace envoy.

Agreed.

Kinda like CIA-propaganda front TIME Magazine naming George W. Bush "Person of The Year" not once but twice now (both in 2000 and 2004).

Definitely absurd...

[Naam]

somebody telling me "i'm sure your wife wouldn't object if you had a mia noi".

[jetjock]

The most absurd thing I have ever observed was the election of someone who had not yet mastered the English language to the office of President of the United States.

George W. Bush--Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 "There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on --shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." --

[brahmburgers]

Generals who take over a government who immediatly say generals should not take over a government.

In summer 2000, Dick Cheny was assigned (by JW Bush, Republican nominee) to look for a Vice Presidential candidate, and among the millions of capable candidates for the job, he comes up with the 'best man for the job' .......himself.

Elvis Presley, in his latter (fatter) years, shows up clandestinely at an 'Elvis Look-Alike Contest' ....and comes in third. (true story!)

Iran's prez saying, with a straight face, "there are no homosexuals in Iran." Apparently, he's checked all the back alleys in Teheran to make sure that's a fact.

Muslims who say "Islam Respects Women" .......A close look at how it manifests, and the bloody facts are too sordid too list here.

Thaksin repeatedly saying he's done with politics.

[GuestHouse]

Many of the claims made here on TV top the list - especially those regarding incomes and how 'Long/Short' members are on the money/stock markets.

Walter Mitty couldn't hold a candle to some of the rediculous porkies told around here.

But hey, it doesn't matter - what matters is do we have fun reading them?!

[qualtrough]

...that something like 25% of my fellow countrymen still approve of Bush.

[Jingthing]

That some left wing wackos think that America and Israel attacked the World Trade Center.

That Bush lied by implying (and fooling the majority of Americans) that Iraq had attacked the World Trade Center.

That Muslims cover up their women but let their young men walk around showing skin. Oh, I forgot, there are no gays in Iran.

Edited October 27, 2007 by Jingthing

[Travel2003]

Liverpool F C fans claiming that this year they will win the title.

[Padkapow Guy]

The most absurd thing I have ever observed was the election of someone who had not yet mastered the English language to the office of President of the United States.

George W. Bush--Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 "There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on --shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." --

The press had a field day with that one.

Classic!

PKG

[pointofview]

Bush saying that he had to go after Sadam because 'he wanted to kll my daddy'

PS i think it is unfair to blame the american public for electing bush - they didnt, he was selected. Its only the dumb, ignorant, self rightious nutters who really believe they have a choice

Edited October 27, 2007 by pointofview

[ZukiSuzuki]

Many of the claims made here on TV top the list - especially those regarding incomes and how 'Long/Short' members are on the money/stock markets.

Walter Mitty couldn't hold a candle to some of the rediculous porkies told around here.

Certainly plenty of quixotics posting here.

[crewcut]

I was sitting having a drink with a female work colleague when a man came up to her and said

"I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?"

answerbag

CC.

[meom]

While you are away, movie stars are taking your women. Robert Redford is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady, Bart Simpson is making love to your wife.

--Clueless Iraqi radio announcer, Baghdad Betty, trying to demoralize the Gulf War troops.

I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue.

-- Richard Nixon, discussing Watergate in 1978

[Alf Witt]

religion

[eek]

"But shes different"

"yes i know. But shes a good girl"

---

[kopite]

Liverpool F C fans claiming that this year they will win the title.

18-5 forever in our shadow

[pointofview]

That some left wing wackos think that America and Israel attacked the World Trade Center.

That Bush lied by implying (and fooling the majority of Americans) that Iraq had attacked the World Trade Center.

That Muslims cover up their women but let their young men walk around showing skin. Oh, I forgot, there are no gays in Iran.

Your beliefs are totally wacko - dream on! I suppose you dont believe that the bushes are good friends of the bin ladens - well of course not because you think fox news is real

[stumonster]

Hello handsome man

[JimsKnight]

Lets try and keep it relevant to Thailand dudes.

Heres my 10 baht...

Was on a visa run back in 2005...

Some totally thick farang gimp at a certain (farang) bar in Chumpon...

"Are you going out to Koh Tao tonight?"

Jims Knight -

"Sure am, I'm going out on the big cargo boat ( A large commerical freight transporter)."

Thick gimp -

"Oh really! I know the one you mean. That big cargo boat you're going on sank about a year ago"

Jims Knight

"Really??!"

Gimp -

"Yeah, they got it back in action after a few days!

Jims Knight -

"You'd need a DSV and a heavy lifting barge at the very least, getting it back to work in a few days just ain't gonna happen!"

"No Really, you know in Thailand they can do anything! The (recreational) divers from Koh Tao came out to help, recovered the boat and it was back in action after a few days!!!"

:D

This gimp was either on some wacked out sht or an unhinged loon (probably both!).

Either way it was some absurd sht and for shear lunacy stands at the top echelon of bar room absurd bullsht!

Go on! They found Atlantis? Really? Just off Surat Thani? Never!?

Wonders never cease thanks to some of the 'amazing' farangs in Thailand....

The second one:

A jaded farang expat in a bar in Hua Hin:

"Yeah I was in the Rhodesian SAS man! Yeah, I shot this guy from 3 miles away! Right between the eyes."

Jims Knight:

What JK thought 'Dream on dck head!'

What JK said "Really! I'm impressed, well, theres a firing range I know near here. Lets go down there tomorrow and you can show us what you've got" Knowing full well this gimp was full of sht.

What this dckhead replied,

"Oh, oh, it was a long time ago, It might bring back memories!" Excuse after excuse...

"Hey man it's no problem, the targets are only cardboard and paper, not real people." Rubbing it in

He changed the subject pretty sharpish after that

Edited October 27, 2007 by JimsKnight

[endure]

Hello handsome man

[qualtrough]

OK, here is a Thai related one. A few years back I was taking the train to CM. Sitting across from me was an Australian, 40 something. Started chatting, and learned he had never worked a day in his life, lived on the dole, was a heroin addict among other things, and was going up to visit his 17 year old Burmese wife somewhere up there. I pulled out some crackers and cheese and offered him one, and with a look of horror on his face he declined, telling me that they were bad for your health!

[eek]

On a flight from BKK to CNX I was bored and listened in on a conversation between a Belgium guy talking to the Thai girl next to him about the state of his country. The Thai girl seem to have fairly good level of English as she was talking and responding politely to him. He talked about the culture, then of politics, then moved onto the Royal family complaining that their queen still to this day cannot speak Dutch.

He says: "It is like your Queen not being able to speak Thai"

She says (hesitantly..sounding a bit confused and astounded): "My Queen cannot speak Thai?"

He says: (slight pause) "No. I said its like your Queen cannot speak Thai"

She says: (slightly longer pause)"My Queen can speak Thai.."

He says (even longer pause): "I know"

..conversation pitters out (and im restraining myself from shaking with laughter)

[xyborg]

<br />religion<br />

<br /><br /><br />

Combined with world peace!!

[Jingthing]

OK, Thai related.

I was talking to this guy who told me in all earnestness that all older farangs receive 300 thousand baht per month payment from their government.

I tried to correct his simple thinking, but I could see his brain was exploding, so I left it with, not all farangs the same.

[zzdocxx]

On a flight from BKK to CNX I was bored and listened in on a conversation between a Belgium guy talking to the Thai girl next to him about the state of his country. The Thai girl seem to have fairly good level of English as she was talking and responding politely to him. He talked about the culture, then of politics, then moved onto the Royal family complaining that their queen still to this day cannot speak Dutch.

He says: "It is like your Queen not being able to speak Thai"

She says (hesitantly..sounding a bit confused and astounded): "My Queen cannot speak Thai?"

He says: (slight pause) "No. I said its like your Queen cannot speak Thai"

She says: (slightly longer pause)"My Queen can speak Thai.."

He says (even longer pause): "I know"

..conversation pitters out (and im restraining myself from shaking with laughter)

Now that's funny! ! !

[Naam]

I was talking to this guy who told me in all earnestness that all older farangs receive 300 thousand baht per month payment from their government.

I tried to correct his simple thinking, but I could see his brain was exploding, so I left it with, not all farangs the same.

so it is not true?