I disagree entirely Lao Po and Jorinda, I worry about my son just as much as I would a daughter and always will do as he's the most precious person ever in my life. Boys get abducted frequently and men are more likely to get into a situation where they could be beaten. I would by him condoms when he's old though enough Damian - your Mum sounds cool

She just didn't want to be a grandmother... not at 36 years of age anyway, NOW she won't stop pestering me to get someone... ANYONE pregnant haha.

Damian

Laa Po I am most certainly not overreacting and am very tired of your constant need to be the winner whenever I say anything, I am merely disagreeing with a point - just like all the other posters I am a mother, not a father, and I will/and do worry about my son all the time - don't try to take that away from me

Laa Po I am most certainly not overreacting and am very tired of your constant need to be the winner whenever I say anything, I am merely disagreeing with a point - just like all the other posters I am a mother, not a father, and I will/and do worry about my son all the time - don't try to take that away from me

LaoPo

Jorinda, best of luck with your trip preps and getting your Dad to understand

hi Jorinda

Re your Dad: I guess if he hasn't been to Asia or travelled that much himself, it would seem scary to him. I think the best you can do is give him lots of solid information = where will you be staying, will you have friends/helpful people around you, will he be able to contact you easily etc.

Show him photos of the nicer parts of Bangkok, the skytrain, places that look like home (shopping centers, malls, McDonalds) so he can see its not just all exotic weirdness. Explain to him that Bangkok is full of people at all hours - you have people selling food, going to work, people out and about 24 hours. You'll very seldom be walking down a deserted road anywhere. All apartment blocks have security guards

You're welcome to contact me as well if you're in Bangkok, or your Dad is welcome to phone me. I've been here 11 years (arrived when I was 25)

With regards to personal safety, i wont take motorbike taxis on the big roads, and I take a wide detour or cross the road if i see an obviously drunk/wasted guy in my path (too many memories of yaba psychotics with knives from a few years back.)

Just to add my 2 cents to the taxi debate:

I've never had a scary time with a taxi, incredibly irritating and frustrating yes, but scary no. Stay alert, watch where you're going. I"ve had a few shady characters who kept watching me in the mirror, asking if I'd been drinking or if i wanted to go for dinner with them, sigh. Respond briefly and in a cold voice, then do the telephone trick - babble away to thin air. If you're catching a taxi late at night on your own, try to get a friend to stand with you, look at the number etc. Normal thinking applies: don't get in a taxi obviously drunk, don't fall asleep in a taxi if you're on your own. If you feel funny, trust your instincts and get out. Having an idea of the route you should be taking and where exactly you are going helps too.

And to the poster who said

Well, if the young woman in question has not travelled alone to foreign countries, Thailand is not the place to start.

I have to totally disagree - in the tourist areas, most people speak english, the public transport is brilliant, there is a LOAD of information about Thailand for backpackers (Lonely Planet, Internet), most people are friendly and helpful, there are ATMs, international phones, police and security guards, good hospitals, lots of fellow travellers - why do you think thailand isn't a good place to start??

which reminds me: jolinda, that u may want to bring with u also... your favorite brand, it saves trying to find them in a thai supermarket/drugstore and never leave home without them....

haha, I don't think my boyfriend here would approve of me stashing condoms

I try to keep my parents as much in the dark as possible about my sex life...I've never been bought condoms, and neither has my younger brother (he's 17). I've always been safe regardless, I really don't want to be pregnant at this stage in life. I'm sure some parents are much more egalitarian about worrying about their sons/daughters, but in my experince most parents are less paranoid/protective over sons than daughters. My experince isn't proof of course, but it's just what I've seen.

Taxi's are sketchy in a lot of places...I was in Romania once and the taxi driver drove onto the lane with on coming traffic. I was scared but he was pretty relaxed about his decision to pull a U turn using another lane. The cell phone trick is good, I've used it before around here, and I'm definantly getting a cell phone in Thailand. I'm not into being that drunk girl at 3 AM so hopefully that will save me some grief.

I disagree entirely Lao Po and Jorinda, I worry about my son just as much as I would a daughter and always will do as he's the most precious person ever in my life. Boys get abducted frequently and men are more likely to get into a situation where they could be beaten. I would by him condoms when he's old though enough Damian - your Mum sounds cool

I COMPLETELY agree with you here, Seonai. I was just trying to be agreeable earlier with SBK ( ). Teenage boys face different kinds of risks, but critical risks just the same: male-on-male violence, drunk driving fatalities, and drinking themselves to death in peer drinking binges, to name a few.

... american military train night time to berlin and was almost raped by an american soldier - at that time i used to wear my hair in two braids and looked about 14 ys old......god how dumb could i have been -- and yes i was more naive(read: stupid) way back then. )

Yes, weren't we all young and stupid - that is one of the universal qualities of being young. But, whereas, you see yourself as stupid for wearing your hairstyle a certain way, I see him as a potential rapist.

Thanks Kat :D

I disagree entirely Lao Po and Jorinda, I worry about my son just as much as I would a daughter and always will do as he's the most precious person ever in my life. Boys get abducted frequently and men are more likely to get into a situation where they could be beaten. I would by him condoms when he's old though enough Damian - your Mum sounds cool

I COMPLETELY agree with you here, Seonai. I was just trying to be agreeable earlier with SBK ( ). Teenage boys face different kinds of risks, but critical risks just the same: male-on-male violence, drunk driving fatalities, and drinking themselves to death in peer drinking binges, to name a few.

Kat, if you would have read my post(s) a little better it was NOT about nothing could happen to (teenage)-boys also.

I said that most parents are more -over-protective towards their daughters rather than sons. And the word -over-protective (which was used for the first time by the OP Jorinda...!) is meant in relation to care and protect for their daughter(s) in order to try and prevent sexual crimes, or worse. It's not meant for parents watching their kids on the playground.

And, if some Ladies can't accept what I said, well so be it, but parents with a daughter (and son) in their teenage years will most likely confirm so.

That Seonai says: "and I will/and do worry about my son all the time - don't try to take that away from me" is beyond me.

As if I was trying to take away something from her...

That particular remark p_sses me off ! And I think she knows what I mean. I don't think I deserve such a remark.

People on this forum who know me a bit will know that I rarely get p_ssed off but this is one of those times.

Thank you Seonai, not.

LaoPo

hmmm, well don't get pissed off at me, because my comment was not really directed at you, or meant to disagree. I absolutely do think that parents treat boys and girls differently. In my post to Seonai, I was just acknowledging that boys also have their distinct, gender-specific dangers as well.

hmmm, well don't get pissed off at me, because my comment was not really directed at you, or meant to disagree. I absolutely do think that parents treat boys and girls differently. In my post to Seonai, I was just acknowledging that boys also have their distinct, gender-specific dangers as well.

I'm not Kat...

LaoPo

I think we're getting into a discussion about semantics. Completely silly.

Seonai expressed her opinion that she is protective of her son.

LaoPo said/agreed that parents (or moms) are not as protective of their sons as they are of daughters.

In the end, the opinion is still similar. Parents *are* protective of their kids, be they male or female.

I have both girls and boys - and if my son was less independent I would protect him just as much as I would protect my daughter. It has absolutely nothing to do with their gender.

However, no matter how well-prepared they are to face the world, I will still always be protective - or over-protective, take your pick. That's just what parents do, whether their kids are 12 or 24 or 36.

Well said onethailand I am just as protective of my son as I would be with a daughter ... for me there is no difference... they are both children

I just want to say that I am 20 years old and I will be traveling to Thailand next year on my own. I will stay there for 2 or 3 months. However, my situation is not quite similar to this other girls situtation because I have been to Thailand before (I was there for one year) and I have friends that live in Thailand, so it's not like I am going there and just traveling around all the time on my own.

I do agree that when people are younger, they can be more naive. However, while I was in Thailand, I saw 50 something year old tourists who were MUCH more naive than I was. I really think it just depends on the person. I am paying for my own trip to go to Thailand and though my parents (and yes, especially my dad) were reluctant to let me go, they agreed that since I had been there before and know some of the language and cultural customs, they finally gave in.

I am very lucky to have parents who will let me experience something like this. I personally, think that even though its a parents natural instinct to protect their sons/daughters, they need to just realize that they have to "let go" eventually. Personally, I would say that if this girl wants to go to Thailand, it's better if she goes with some kind of a program, like I did, or if she goes with a friend. However, if she chooses not to do this, then thats her choice. Yes. There is violence in Thailand. But there is violence everywhere...and I find it so frusterating to hear people say "Oh, don't go to a certain place, especially if you are a young woman traveling alone, because you will get murdered, raped, etc."

I have had just as many "bad" experiences in my home country, than I have had in Thailand. It's all about being alert, knowing some kind of personal defense, and having some common sense. For me personally, traveling has made me a stronger, more independent person. I don't care that I am a young woman. I do realize the dangers of traveling alone, and I do realize the risks. But we all take risks in life, don't we? It's okay for people to be overprotective, but not to the extent that you stifle your "child" from being able to experience the world. I went to Thailand at age 18 and I never, ever regretted it. So I say to any "young woman" who wants to go to Thailand on her own, go for it! As long as you have an itenerary and common sense, you should be fine.

I just want to say that I am 20 years old and I will be traveling to Thailand next year on my own. I will stay there for 2 or 3 months. However, my situation is not quite similar to this other girls situtation because I have been to Thailand before (I was there for one year) and I have friends that live in Thailand, so it's not like I am going there and just traveling around all the time on my own.

I do agree that when people are younger, they can be more naive. However, while I was in Thailand, I saw 50 something year old tourists who were MUCH more naive than I was. I really think it just depends on the person. I am paying for my own trip to go to Thailand and though my parents (and yes, especially my dad) were reluctant to let me go, they agreed that since I had been there before and know some of the language and cultural customs, they finally gave in.

I am very lucky to have parents who will let me experience something like this. I personally, think that even though its a parents natural instinct to protect their sons/daughters, they need to just realize that they have to "let go" eventually. Personally, I would say that if this girl wants to go to Thailand, it's better if she goes with some kind of a program, like I did, or if she goes with a friend. However, if she chooses not to do this, then thats her choice. Yes. There is violence in Thailand. But there is violence everywhere...and I find it so frusterating to hear people say "Oh, don't go to a certain place, especially if you are a young woman traveling alone, because you will get murdered, raped, etc."

I have had just as many "bad" experiences in my home country, than I have had in Thailand. It's all about being alert, knowing some kind of personal defense, and having some common sense. For me personally, traveling has made me a stronger, more independent person. I don't care that I am a young woman. I do realize the dangers of traveling alone, and I do realize the risks. But we all take risks in life, don't we? It's okay for people to be overprotective, but not to the extent that you stifle your "child" from being able to experience the world. I went to Thailand at age 18 and I never, ever regretted it. So I say to any "young woman" who wants to go to Thailand on her own, go for it! As long as you have an itenerary and common sense, you should be fine.

You make some good points, Isabelle. It does seem like the maturity level of the traveller plays a role in what he/she will experience. I would tend to agree that maturity plays a bigger role than either age or gender. Unfortunately, however, not all 20 year olds have as much common sense as you...i.e., there are probably some 30 year olds (male or female) that take unwise risks...(and some 18 year olds that don't).

You said you feel lucky that your parents have allowed certain experiences. To me their having done so is likely directly related to your maturity level--they provided the stage for you to gain insight/common sense. The rest was up to you. Parents have to judge--how much is my son or daughter really ready for--and try to gradually let go.

I too am lucky in having had parents that allowed me the freedom to travel and experience things that people of my age and gender didn't normally get a chance to do. I don't think it was easy for them, but I'm sure glad they did.

Cheers, Misty

Edited December 5, 200718 yr by Misty

Absolutely misty, if you don't let your kids grow up and learn from their own mistakes then they will be immature children their entire lives.

I see grown adults whose older parents still treat them like children. Thank god my parents were never like that, they raised me to be responsible, to use my brain and common sense and then had the intelligence to allow me to use those skills that they taught me.

Agree with all three of you (Isabelle, Misty, and sbk). I don't help my children every time they ask (especially with homework) - so they've learned to do most things themselves. And as a general rule I do not interfere with most of the decisions they make about going out with friends, etc, unless they want money from me

It is important to give your children the chance to be independent, and creative - this is why I send them to international school instead of letting them go through the Thai education system.

But it is still my nature as a parent to be protective of my children, male or female. It's really just a question of where the line is drawn.

tats a nice post Isabelle ur thinking is very mature. im so glad ur parents are open minded, speak of myself, i remember when my first go to school wthout parents took me there was when i start University!!!! my parents took me to school and picked me up everyday till i am in grade 12...shame huh?

my first knwon bus route was in my university life also.. once i asked to talk face to face with mom and asked her to let me go leave my spend my own life and dont call me every5 mins...i remember she cried but yea i think i made a good choice ...i can remember those day well.

i had chance to travel alone also was in my university time, and i had been to many places than my parents had been.

Well my dad relented and gave permission after I told him that I already applied. I'll be in Bkk in August.

Isabelle - yeah, you traveling around Thailand alone is like me navigating Germany. I lived there for a little bit without my parents, I have a friends, it's not big deal. It's good that I'm going with a program but thank god the program to thailand isn't very much of a babysitter like most programs.

Well done OP congratulations ans have a fab time

welcome to Thailand