Sin Sod Part Deuce :-)

[chicowoodduck]

My last posted thread concerning my Sin Sod saga went like this.........

I was informed today that for the most part the guest would not be giving anything to us, but rather we should be treating them? Also, when I questioned my GF about the return of the Sin Sot, she said that anything returned would be used for the honeymoon and such. As for the ring thing, she asked and received an engagement ring and a wedding ring and also said she needs to get some "gold?" My response was "Are we getting close to the end of all the things you need?" Her response? "That's the Thai tradition." Actually, it was A LOT more than that, but since I don't speak Thai, just suffice to say I got an ear full!

Yesterday it went from bad to worse, if that's possible, and I reached the "tipping point."

It seems as though the closer the wedding date became, the more the Sin Sod request increased (1 million to maybe over two?). The local monk jumped in with his request for 30,000 THB, the Pattaya apartment needed a new AC unit (28,000 THB), some more gold had to be purchased, etc., etc. When I said the money train was at an end, my GF stormed off and sent me a text message saying that it was too much drama and that I should not have lead her on? I just said fine, just return the wedding ring and keep everything else. She said that I get NOTHING back and that I wasn't getting <deleted>**ed for free. Yikes! Wake-up call down on Soi Bua Khoa for the big boy! I was out of our apartment and checked into a new place before 7 AM this morning.

With all that said, I'd just like to warn other potential "Farang Sin Sod ATM Machines" to take it slow and hang onto your dough! Thank goodness I'm not out my life savings, but I'm certainly a bit more dubious of that lovely Thai smile and the "It's up to you" mentality. When left up to me, I was always informed that that's not what they want to hear.

Life goes on........

[Heng]

So when's the wedding?

(more often than not, even after all the above type drama... you'd be suprised that more often than not, most rocket scientists eventually marry the same girl anyway)

[torrenova]

So did you chuck her the multi million baht sinsot ? Aircon ? Gold ? Monk's outrageous demands ?

Bar girl ?

Hope you told them and her to shove it where the sun don't shine, good Thai girl or hooker.

[astral]

Sin Sod should be agreed BEFORE the wedding,

as with the other expenses.

[steveromagnino]

So did you chuck her the multi million baht sinsot ? Aircon ? Gold ? Monk's outrageous demands ?

Bar girl ?

Hope you told them and her to shove it where the sun don't shine, good Thai girl or hooker.

to make her feel really bad, you could always try the Pattaya farang approach of looking at the ground and mumbling, then giving in to every demand.

That seems to be the preferred aproach and the misery in their faces suggests that the farang involved must truly enjoy the wonder of 'love'.

[Neeranam]

With all that said, I'd just like to warn other potential "Farang Sin Sod ATM Machines" to take it slow and hang onto your dough! Thank goodness I'm not out my life savings, but I'm certainly a bit more dubious of that lovely Thai smile and the "It's up to you" mentality. When left up to me, I was always informed that that's not what they want to hear.

Life goes on........

Unbelievable - you meet a girl in Pattaya and trusted her!

How long had you know her before arranging mariage?

[a2396]

Another example of what I've been talking about. This whole sin sod garbage is a cultural anachronism that should have died long ago. But it continues to be pepetuated, driven mostly by greed and the desire to "show-off" to other Thais.

[trader1]

Anyway sounds like you did well to end it now, before the wedding.

[kyb789]

Another example of what I've been talking about. This whole sin sod garbage is a cultural anachronism that should have died long ago. But it continues to be pepetuated, driven mostly by greed and the desire to "show-off" to other Thais.

Very good point. Her request for 1 million baht is a major red flag. That might work for a Thai movie star, but any normal Thai man would have paid 100k or less....especially a Pattaya girl.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs told her mom that we would marry, and she first wanted money. But when my girlfriend replied, "But that is not a part of his culture", then she agreed the sin sod was not necessary. Bless her heart. Sin sod is a dying tradition, even the Thais recognize it. It seems to be the Isaan poor trying to hold on to it the most...for obvious reasons.

Edited February 7, 2008 by kyb789

[sbk]

Another example of what I've been talking about. This whole sin sod garbage is a cultural anachronism that should have died long ago. But it continues to be pepetuated, driven mostly by greed and the desire to "show-off" to other Thais.

Very good point. Her request for 1 million baht is a major red flag. That might work for a Thai movie star, but any normal Thai man would have paid 100k or less....especially a Pattaya girl.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs told her mom that we would marry, and she first wanted money. But when my girlfriend replied, "But that is not a part of his culture", then she agreed the sin sod was not necessary. Bless her heart. Sin sod is a dying tradition, even the Thais recognize it. It seems to be the Isaan poor trying to hold on to it the most...for obvious reasons.

My Thai husband's Thai nephew paid sin sot to get married 2 1/2 years ago, to his Thai wife. AFAIK, it is not a dying tradition, nor is it strictly Isaan.

[steveromagnino]

Another example of what I've been talking about. This whole sin sod garbage is a cultural anachronism that should have died long ago. But it continues to be pepetuated, driven mostly by greed and the desire to "show-off" to other Thais.

Very good point. Her request for 1 million baht is a major red flag. That might work for a Thai movie star, but any normal Thai man would have paid 100k or less....especially a Pattaya girl.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs told her mom that we would marry, and she first wanted money. But when my girlfriend replied, "But that is not a part of his culture", then she agreed the sin sod was not necessary. Bless her heart. Sin sod is a dying tradition, even the Thais recognize it. It seems to be the Isaan poor trying to hold on to it the most...for obvious reasons.

actually, it is a wonderful tradition, and i totally agree with it.

One Thai family i know used it to discourage a groom from marrying too early; he had to work had and keep saving; in the end the money was returned to them but it was used as a fair way to make sure he was going to be responsible enough to act as a husband and a father.

The way it is used in Bangkok primarily is one of showing that the husband is man enough to look after a family, and that is what it should be for.

Upcountry, sometimes the parents need some of the money; however given the 'remove brain here' mentality so many farang have when they go to Isaan, is it small wonder that the parents send their kids to work in Patpong and reap the cash cow that is the Sin sot??!

Without it, how would a guy know that the woman he is marrying is a gold digger??!

He has got out of a tricky situation safely, thanks to the sin sot mechanic.

[sbk]

One Thai family i know used it to discourage a groom from marrying too early; he had to work had and keep saving; in the end the money was returned to them but it was used as a fair way to make sure he was going to be responsible enough to act as a husband and a father.

The way it is used in Bangkok primarily is one of showing that the husband is man enough to look after a family, and that is what it should be for.

Upcountry, sometimes the parents need some of the money; however given the 'remove brain here' mentality so many farang have when they go to Isaan, is it small wonder that the parents send their kids to work in Patpong and reap the cash cow that is the Sin sot??!

Steve, that is how my nephew's in-laws looked at, they received the money back after the wedding. As is the norm here. Sin Sot is used for the young couple to start their lives together. There are the occasional greedy parents that keep the money but it is not typical.

Sounds like the OP got away with a fairly expensive (but could have been far worse) lesson

[soi lurker]

Sin sod bring her back to farangland then tell her its tradition that the brides family pay for the ceremony - just another pattaya story really

Edited February 7, 2008 by soi lurker

[Heng]

Well, it seems typical enough in a certain demographic to the point where it seems like there are always plenty of folks who have an angry/bitter take on it.

IMO it's like getting all worked up about Thanksgiving leftovers or what to do with Easter eggs after the hunt.

[a2396]

Well, it seems typical enough in a certain demographic to the point where it seems like there are always plenty of folks who have an angry/bitter take on it.

IMO it's like getting all worked up about Thanksgiving leftovers or what to do with Easter eggs after the hunt.

One to two million bht. The Thanksgiving leftovers?? They need more generous gents like you in Issan.

[siamesekitty]

or smarter, but more culturally aware ones. Those who have both qualities are usually not the ones complaining.

[Gravelrash]

Offer her 15 - 20k per month, no sin sod, no marraige, no kids and no 50% of your assets later. After a few years upgrade if all isn't going well. When I married I paid no sin sod, nor was it requested. It is a personal choice of course but above is another (cheaper) alternative.

[steveromagnino]

Offer her 15 - 20k per month, no sin sod, no marraige, no kids and no 50% of your assets later. After a few years upgrade if all isn't going well. When I married I paid no sin sod, nor was it requested. It is a personal choice of course but above is another (cheaper) alternative.

the old lease vs. buy decision.

As the sellor, what do you think the vendor would agree to in this circumstance?

My feeling is most of the types that would insist on a sin sot as per the OP would also prefer not to lease out their wares, on account of the ability to sell their wares more than once to more than one buyer.

As they may have often been doing on a shorter term sales plan in the not too distant past.

[jstumbo]

Offer her 15 - 20k per month, no sin sod, no marraige, no kids and no 50% of your assets later. After a few years upgrade if all isn't going well. When I married I paid no sin sod, nor was it requested. It is a personal choice of course but above is another (cheaper) alternative.

When he refused to pay more, she said that the sex wasn't for free. Maybe he should just go with a thousand baht per coupling?

[Dave the Dude]

Offer her 15 - 20k per month, no sin sod, no marraige, no kids and no 50% of your assets later. After a few years upgrade if all isn't going well. When I married I paid no sin sod, nor was it requested. It is a personal choice of course but above is another (cheaper) alternative.

the old lease vs. buy decision.

As the sellor, what do you think the vendor would agree to in this circumstance?

My feeling is most of the types that would insist on a sin sot as per the OP would also prefer not to lease out their wares, on account of the ability to sell their wares more than once to more than one buyer.

As they may have often been doing on a shorter term sales plan in the not too distant past.

Hi steveromagnino

Very fair and interesting line of thought.

I said my money is going on a nice home,house party and a mini-mart for income, then after that its all gone. Although 'legally' married, SIN SOD has never been mentioned since.

They either accept it or walk. If so, you go onto the next little honey.

Dave

Edited February 7, 2008 by Dave the Dude

[JetsetBkk]

the more the Sin Sod request increased (1 million to maybe over two?). The local monk jumped in with his request for 30,000 THB, the Pattaya apartment needed a new AC unit (28,000 THB), some more gold had to be purchased

You've been well milked. Time to find another maid.

[john b good]

My last posted thread concerning my Sin Sod saga went like this.........

I was informed today that for the most part the guest would not be giving anything to us, but rather we should be treating them? Also, when I questioned my GF about the return of the Sin Sot, she said that anything returned would be used for the honeymoon and such. As for the ring thing, she asked and received an engagement ring and a wedding ring and also said she needs to get some "gold?" My response was "Are we getting close to the end of all the things you need?" Her response? "That's the Thai tradition." Actually, it was A LOT more than that, but since I don't speak Thai, just suffice to say I got an ear full!

Yesterday it went from bad to worse, if that's possible, and I reached the "tipping point."

It seems as though the closer the wedding date became, the more the Sin Sod request increased (1 million to maybe over two?). The local monk jumped in with his request for 30,000 THB, the Pattaya apartment needed a new AC unit (28,000 THB), some more gold had to be purchased, etc., etc. When I said the money train was at an end, my GF stormed off and sent me a text message saying that it was too much drama and that I should not have lead her on? I just said fine, just return the wedding ring and keep everything else. She said that I get NOTHING back and that I wasn't getting <deleted>**ed for free. Yikes! Wake-up call down on Soi Bua Khoa for the big boy! I was out of our apartment and checked into a new place before 7 AM this morning.

With all that said, I'd just like to warn other potential "Farang Sin Sod ATM Machines" to take it slow and hang onto your dough! Thank goodness I'm not out my life savings, but I'm certainly a bit more dubious of that lovely Thai smile and the "It's up to you" mentality. When left up to me, I was always informed that that's not what they want to hear.

Life goes on........

If you love her to bits OK

Otherwise show her the door (in all likelyhood she thinks you are a walking ATM and it's better to get rid of her now. IF NOT you are in for a life of misery)

From what you write she is nothing more than a mercenry cow.

[Heng]

Well, it seems typical enough in a certain demographic to the point where it seems like there are always plenty of folks who have an angry/bitter take on it.

IMO it's like getting all worked up about Thanksgiving leftovers or what to do with Easter eggs after the hunt.

One to two million bht. The Thanksgiving leftovers?? They need more generous gents like you in Issan.

I'm talking about those who get angry when they hear 'sin sod,' not of the amounts involved. It's just another thing that is rather flexible if all parties have good intentions for the family as a whole (just like with Thanksgiving leftovers).

p.s. I wouldn't pay over 3900 Baht for a Butterball turkey (in Bangkok)

[zink]

Offer her 15 - 20k per month, no sin sod, no marraige, no kids and no 50% of your assets later. After a few years upgrade if all isn't going well. When I married I paid no sin sod, nor was it requested. It is a personal choice of course but above is another (cheaper) alternative.

the old lease vs. buy decision.

As the sellor, what do you think the vendor would agree to in this circumstance?

My feeling is most of the types that would insist on a sin sot as per the OP would also prefer not to lease out their wares, on account of the ability to sell their wares more than once to more than one buyer.

As they may have often been doing on a shorter term sales plan in the not too distant past.

It is also important to look at this from buyer's point of view: if one vendor doesn't agree on 15-20k/month deal, there are many others who would agree. Supply and demand...

[britmaveric]

2million baht????

[surface]

I think a new forum is in order titled "Is This Girl Marrying Me for Money?" where people can post a picture of themsleves and their loved one and get the truth via a poll. I think it could be upwards of 85% reliable. If it was restricted to members with 500+ posts being able to vote it could push 90%.

[simon43]

Surface, I think that's a great idea! I'd be the first to post a picture of me and my wife, but I'm afraid I'd make too many of the women jealous....

Simon

[mrbojangles]

but I'm afraid I'd make too many of the women jealous....

Why? Have you got long silky hair and big boobs

[Kimera]

My last posted thread concerning my Sin Sod saga went like this.........

I was informed today that for the most part the guest would not be giving anything to us, but rather we should be treating them? Also, when I questioned my GF about the return of the Sin Sot, she said that anything returned would be used for the honeymoon and such. As for the ring thing, she asked and received an engagement ring and a wedding ring and also said she needs to get some "gold?" My response was "Are we getting close to the end of all the things you need?" Her response? "That's the Thai tradition." Actually, it was A LOT more than that, but since I don't speak Thai, just suffice to say I got an ear full!

Yesterday it went from bad to worse, if that's possible, and I reached the "tipping point."

It seems as though the closer the wedding date became, the more the Sin Sod request increased (1 million to maybe over two?). The local monk jumped in with his request for 30,000 THB, the Pattaya apartment needed a new AC unit (28,000 THB), some more gold had to be purchased, etc., etc. When I said the money train was at an end, my GF stormed off and sent me a text message saying that it was too much drama and that I should not have lead her on? I just said fine, just return the wedding ring and keep everything else. She said that I get NOTHING back and that I wasn't getting <deleted>**ed for free. Yikes! Wake-up call down on Soi Bua Khoa for the big boy! I was out of our apartment and checked into a new place before 7 AM this morning.

With all that said, I'd just like to warn other potential "Farang Sin Sod ATM Machines" to take it slow and hang onto your dough! Thank goodness I'm not out my life savings, but I'm certainly a bit more dubious of that lovely Thai smile and the "It's up to you" mentality. When left up to me, I was always informed that that's not what they want to hear.

Life goes on........

Good that you saw the light, Sin Sod has its place in Thailand but not between a Falang and a (bar girl) ? sorry if i'm wrong there ! Its an old tradition the highest sums paid for and to a NEW girl and its down in value from there, good job you didnt spend the 1millon baht on 30 Buffalo. A handfull in Patters

[Westerner]

Sin sod bring her back to farangland then tell her its tradition that the brides family pay for the ceremony - just another pattaya story really

Soi lurker

I know this is off topic, but I think your avatar is sick .

Edited February 8, 2008 by Westerner