Father Friendly Hospitals

[gunnyd]

Another post from a future dad,

I am wondering about the Thai attitudes toward fathers being present during in the delivery room. It will be our first child and we don't want to be separated, and of course I want to be there to support my wife and greet our child coming into the world.

Me and my wife are both RNs in the US and it is standard that the husband, and sometimes close family members are welcome during delivery.

Me and my wife had IVF treatment in BKK at Vejthani and she got pregnant in July, We went back to the US because we figured we would get a decent doctor and my insurance covered it. In Oct 2007 my wife had a "silent" miscarriage 20 weeks in. The doctors we had wouldn't listen to us about my wife needing hormone support and totally ignored our requests for tests, etc. It seemed they didn't care. Us being medical professionals and then being ignored was infuriating..

If they would have said I wasn't allowed to be with my wife in the hospital when they induced labor and delivery of our stillborn child they would have had to call the police, have me physically removed, and throw me jail. I couldn't imagine not have been there to support my wife, as heart breaking as it was.

We are back being treated at the ART clinic at Vejthani and are happy with the docs in the clinic. But I am not clear on the "Thai" way of childbirth. I am aware of the propensity for doctors wanting to do C-sections.

I did speak with the rep at Vejthani and got a wishy washy answer of, It's up to the doctor. I'd hate to pull a hospital switch during the last trimester but I will if they refuse to let me be there.

So anybody with experience with private hospitals policies on dads being present during delivery, especially if anyone has experience with Vejthani Hospital, it would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry for double posting but figured I would get a response in a separate thread insted of the one pinned at the top of the topic.

Father to be GunnyD

[nidge]

I was present at my sons birth last year although it was in Issan not Bangkok. The doctor and nurses were very helpful and i was made very welcome.

nidge

[mearkat75]

hi,i had my daughter at Vejthani,no problems with my other half[he is thai,im british] being with me throughout the birth.

private hospitals are usually ok about fathers being in the delivery room. whos you OB?

[gunnyd]

Dr. Nopadon Yaibuates is our doc.

[mearkat75]

have you asked your doc? my other-half has just told me the only thing they said to him before i went into give birth was whether he was ok around blood he said he was ok,so they gowned him up and away we went!

the nurses are really good aswell,dont think they are that used to seeing a farang lady in there,but they looked after me perfectly well.

all the best

[t.s]

have you asked your doc? my other-half has just told me the only thing they said to him before i went into give birth was whether he was ok around blood he said he was ok,so they gowned him up and away we went!

the nurses are really good aswell,dont think they are that used to seeing a farang lady in there,but they looked after me perfectly well.

all the best

was present through the full cesarian at bumrungrad. it was never discussed, we showed up, they handed me a gown and away we went.

intense to say the least

[torrenova]

I was present at the caesarian birth of my daughter at Pattaya International last July. At the time of interviewing the doctor we spoke about it and though we were originally planning a natural birth, I brought it up again when a caesarian looked on the cards.

All answers in the affirmative but on the day of the planned delivery I felt I had to reitterate our deisre for me to be present as after the pre med, she was taken upstairs and no-one came back for me. When I went upstairs they were all preparing for the operation and I think they would have just left me out. I cannot be certain but I had to be pro active.

In the operating theatre I was told to stay at the top end with the anaesthetist but that is understandable. I was with her as she went under and all the way through holding her hand (which was strapped down). I got to hold my daughter before she came round and went from there to see the nurses taking immediate care of her. I then went up to the recovery room to see the mother.

I did not talk about video or photography as I don't see what is to be gained from pictures of her insides turned inside out etc. I was ther as support and glad that I was but I cannot be 100% certain that it was my last minute intervention which got me into the theatre. That said, gowns and shoes with masks etc. were readily available so perhaps they would have come to collect me. Couldn't take the risk though.

[gunnyd]

My wife has already let me know that there will be no video cameras allowed, not that I was planning on it. And she gets what she wants no matter what. I know my place. I do want to get pictures of our new baby right after delivery. That's not my main concern, I just want to be there for her and to witness the birth of out child. I have had more than my share of experience when I worked Labor and Delivery as a nurse, so I won't be passing out or anything like that.

Thanks for the input. It sounds like I will just have to be insistent on being there and not take no for an answer. I was just not clear on the Thai customs, when it came to fathers being allowed to witness the birth of a child. I have had experience with Bumrungrad International before and we can afford to have it done there if need be.

We just don't want everything to go wrong like last time. That is why we are staying with out ART doc at Vejthani Hospital. The health of my wife and child are more important to me than anything else. We'll just have to make sure that Dr. Nopadon knows what we want. He already knows that we are both RNs in the US and that my wife is a doctor in The Philippines, so we are not lay persons when it comes to OB and L&D.

GunnyD

[torrenova]

Best of luck and please do stick to your guns and don't take any last minute waffle or excuses from them. You'll be well out of the way anyway if they need to do anything as you'll not be at the business end.

[Boo]

this was covered recently on a thread here by tony clifton but imo any hospital should be father friendly when it comes to sharing the birth experience if you both want you to be present. The hospital can have no objection although some have tried to stop it with stupid excuses. just stick to your guns & congratulations

[gunnyd]

this was covered recently on a thread here by tony clifton but imo any hospital should be father friendly when it comes to sharing the birth experience if you both want you to be present. The hospital can have no objection although some have tried to stop it with stupid excuses. just stick to your guns & congratulations

That's one of the first thing that I checked out after I initially did a search of the forum. After reading what a hard time he had I decided I would ask for others experiences with hospitals in BKK especially with Vejthani since that is where we are going right now.

I appreciate the input from everybody, and believe me, after the God awful experience we had with the OB/GYN Perinatologist in the US I will be as much of a pain in the rear as necessary.

[mearkat75]

at Vejthani they took loads of pictures of my newborn[and i mean straight after the birth,still sticky ]

they actually took 105 pics! then they gave me a cd and some pics already printed up. if i was to have another little un,i would have it at Vejthani,without a doubt,would move from here[south] just so i could have it there!

[gunnyd]

at Vejthani they took loads of pictures of my newborn[and i mean straight after the birth,still sticky ]

they actually took 105 pics! then they gave me a cd and some pics already printed up. if i was to have another little un,i would have it at Vejthani,without a doubt,would move from here[south] just so i could have it there!

Thanks a lot for helping. Me and my wife really like Vejthani Hospital. And I have permission to get pictures of our baby when he/she is born. But my better half has let me know, under no circumstances, that any pictures of her privacy (you know what I mean) is forbidden. I wouldn't be stupid enough to argue with her (I wasn't planning on that kind of video or pictures anyways).

As all husbands already know, if mamma's not happy nobodies happy.

Thanks to all here I really appreciate the input,

Darrell "GunnyD"

[dr_Pat_Pong]

at Vejthani they took loads of pictures of my newborn[and i mean straight after the birth,still sticky ]

they actually took 105 pics! then they gave me a cd and some pics already printed up. if i was to have another little un,i would have it at Vejthani,without a doubt,would move from here[south] just so i could have it there!

Thanks a lot for helping. Me and my wife really like Vejthani Hospital. And I have permission to get pictures of our baby when he/she is born. But my better half has let me know, under no circumstances, that any pictures of her privacy (you know what I mean) is forbidden. I wouldn't be stupid enough to argue with her (I wasn't planning on that kind of video or pictures anyways).

As all husbands already know, if mamma's not happy nobodies happy.

Thanks to all here I really appreciate the input,

Darrell "GunnyD"

You've learnt a great deal more than nursing.

[kannon99]

at Vejthani they took loads of pictures of my newborn[and i mean straight after the birth,still sticky ]

they actually took 105 pics! then they gave me a cd and some pics already printed up. if i was to have another little un,i would have it at Vejthani,without a doubt,would move from here[south] just so i could have it there!

Thanks a lot for helping. Me and my wife really like Vejthani Hospital. And I have permission to get pictures of our baby when he/she is born. But my better half has let me know, under no circumstances, that any pictures of her privacy (you know what I mean) is forbidden. I wouldn't be stupid enough to argue with her (I wasn't planning on that kind of video or pictures anyways).

As all husbands already know, if mamma's not happy nobodies happy.

Thanks to all here I really appreciate the input,

Darrell "GunnyD"

You've learnt a great deal more than nursing.

I work with birthing mothers quite a bit. I do NOT like Vejthani. My main complaint is that the mothers want to labor off of the bed. Every time they try, the nurses give up a HUGE fight about it. Thai nurses are not trained in active birth practices. And many of the mothers also want to give birth without pushing on their backs. Again, the doctors do not want to honor that. I know of plenty of totally unnecessary episotomies as well. Do your homework!

[gunnyd]

My main complaint is that the mothers want to labor off of the bed. Every time they try, the nurses give up a HUGE fight about it. Thai nurses are not trained in active birth practices. And many of the mothers also want to give birth without pushing on their backs. Again, the doctors do not want to honor that. I know of plenty of totally unnecessary episotomies as well. Do your homework!

Are you speaking from personal experience? Just curious. Me and my wife are not looking for an alternative birth e.g. standing, in a tub, etc. I know of birthing centres that do that. Also my wife wants to have a epidural. We have both worked L&D and are familiar with hospital deliveries in the US. We have a 2 year history with using Vejthani Hospital and have been very satisfied with the level of care given there. We are both highly educated and have experience in obstetrical nursing. My wife also practiced medicine in The Philippines and has delivered more than a few babies in her time. And as for myself, I check everything out 100 different ways before I settle on a medical professional. Unfortunately we were not given a choice at home after she got pregnant the first time because of my insurance in the US and ended up being assigned to a jerk primadonna doctor who thought he was GODS GIFT and didn't listen to either of us. You can read my original post to see what happened. That is why we are spending the money and my wife is taking a hiatus from work so we can stay with the same OB from beginning to end this time.

It was emotionally devastating to us having our child be stillborn because the jerk of a doctor we were assigned. He wouldn't take my wife's history into account and give her the hormonal support she needed. So episotomies and her giving birth laying down are the last thing on our minds.

And since others here have not had any problems with Vejthani having the fathers kept away during birth, I don't see any reason to change OBs or hospitals.

Darrell "GunnyD"

Edited March 3, 2008 by gunnyd

[mearkat75]

me again! just to let you know,at no point during my labor was i held down,or made to lie down,i wanted to walk about,and i did,midwife didnt start trying to get me in stirrups in fact they said i was a 'sexy farang mamma' quite strange i know but it helped that they were so easy going!

to be honest i couldnt see them holding anyone down,more important things to think about...

[gunnyd]

Believe me mearkat I take your word over kannon99's. It sounded like a rant against hospital births. If we were seeking an alternative we would have found it already. I also like the fact that Vejthani employs nurse-midwives. That makes me worry even less. I'll take personal experience over personal opinion any day of the week

GunnyD

[Capantha]

The missus had a cs with our daughter six months ago at Vejthani, no probs with me being there with her. Got all the photos on a nice cd and a care package. Was well impressed with the service by the staff and the docs and to this day. The wife got a vip card for 100 baht which gave her discount on check ups and meds(20% I think). After the baby was born she got one and so did I.

All the best mate!!!

Cap

[Goinghomesoon]

Gunny, not to denigrate anyone who supports the hospital but as Kannon is a doula she has a unique and equally viable viewpoint IMO. After all she has probably attended to birthing mothers in more hospitals than most of us (except perhaps other medical professionals like yourself and your wife). If you feel good about the place that's great, but obviously not a universal feeling. It would be good to hear any positive - and negative - feedback from you guys afterwards. Congratulations in advance

[gunnyd]

I know about her being a doula. It seemed that she was specifically criticizing Vejthani Hospital, and not giving information on alternative birth. I don't have a problem with birthing centres or home births. The comments made were specific to Vejthani.

And not that I don't think nurse midwives are good, I think they are great and Vejthani employs them.

It was midwives that showed that doctors were causing the death of many mothers. It was Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis that pioneered hospital hygiene observing the disproportionate number of maternal deaths attended by doctors as opposed to midwives.

"It was at the Vienna General Hospital that Semmelweis began investigating the causes of puerperal fever, against the resistance of his superiors who believed it to be non-preventable. Semmelweis became the titular house officer of the First Obstetrical Clinic in July 1846, which had a maternal mortality rate due to puerperal fever of 13.10%. This was well-known at the time, and many women preferred to give birth to their children on the street rather than being brought there. The Second Obstetrical Clinic had a mortality rate due to puerperal fever of only 2.03%, however; both were located in the same hospital and used the same techniques, with the only difference being the individuals who worked there. The first was the teaching service for medical students, while the second had been selected in 1839 for the instruction of midwives.

The breakthrough for Ignaz Semmelweis occurred in 1847 with the death of his friend Jakob Kolletschka from an infection contracted after his finger was accidentally punctured with a knife while performing a postmortem examination. Kolletschka's own autopsy showed a pathological situation similar to that of the women who were dying from puerperal fever. Semmelweis immediately proposed a connection between cadaveric contamination and puerperal fever and made a detailed study of the mortality statistics of both obstetrical clinics. He concluded that he and the students carried the infecting particles on their hands from the autopsy room to the patients they examined in the First Obstetrical Clinic. The germ theory of disease had not yet been developed at the time. Thus, Semmelweis concluded that some unknown "cadaveric material" caused childbed fever. He instituted a policy of using a solution of chlorinated lime for washing hands between autopsy work and the examination of patients and the mortality rate dropped from its then-current level of 12.24% to 2.38%, comparable to the Second Clinic's." Wikipedia

I have much respect for nurse midwives and the work they do.

Edited March 6, 2008 by gunnyd

[kannon99]

I know about her being a doula. It seemed that she was specifically criticizing Vejthani Hospital, and not giving information on alternative birth. I don't have a problem with birthing centres or home births. The comments made were specific to Vejthani.

In your first post you asked for more information about Vejthani, so I gave what information I knew. As for the "alternative" birth, I was giving examples of what many women want, are told they can have, and then are not given at the actual birth. So she wants and epidural, etc. that's fine. But if she wanted other options she may not get them. I am not anti-doctor or anti-hospital by any means. Not trying to convince you even changing hospitals or doctors. It's just good to ask all the right questions well before the labor.

[gunnyd]

No problem kannon99.

Me and my wife have been using Vejthani Hospital since 2005. The only thing we haven't done is go through a delivery in a Thai hospital. My wife is from the Philippines and there they act like it's still the 1950s and all of the fathers are relegated to wait outside in the waiting room while their wives give birth to their child. Not that Thailand is on the same level as the Philippines, but some things are very similar between the two countries.

As I said before in our previous pregnancy my wife had a silent miscarriage at 20 weeks. We were being treated by a doctor that could have cared less about listening to our concerns or our opinion on anything even though he knew we were both medical professionals, not laypersons. And we had brought records from Vejthani to show him and still were ignored. You see my wife needed extra hormone support throughout the pregnancy and her records showed it. The hot shot doctor my insurance assigned us ignored our request and pleas that we get prescriptions for the medications. So we asked that he at least do blood work to confirm what our doctor at Vejthani knew but the a$$hole wouldn't. If we were in Thailand even if our doctor wouldn't write a prescription for the medications they are available to buy without a script. We had about 3 months worth of hormone replacements when we went home. And when we ran out BOOM!! our child is dead. A child I saw on the ultrasound and heard his little heartbeat. I would have rather had Tony Jaa kick me as hard as he could in the nuts, than to have that happen again. It was our first experience with it and we will not be making the same mistake again. I'm sorry for rambling on but I am still extremely pissed about the whole mess 8 months later.

So we have saved up our money, and using my disability pension to stay in LOS for the duration this time with a doctor we both trust and a hospital we are happy with.

My main thing was can I be with my wife during the delivery of our child. I was not certain whether it was a cultural taboo in Thailand for fathers to be present, so I asked. From the responses I have received the answer is yes. And even if it was not allowed, as long as we have a healthy child that is all that matters to us.

Darrell "GunnyD"

[minh]

Dr. Nopadon Yaibuates is our doc.

Hello. We are planning to go through an IVF procedure in BKK soon. We asked some info from the RAM hospital and they told us that Dr. Nopadon will be taking care of us should we decide to chose them.

I am trying to find some info about this MD. Given that you and your wife had received services him, can you share with us your experience? Is he young or old? How is he? Is he caring, professional? How good is his English? Etc.

If you can share with us your IVF experience in TL also, that would be extremely appreciated.

We are also seeking for info from anyone else who would like to share their stories about their involvement with Dr. Nopadon and/or IVF in TL with us.

Many Thanks!

Minh

Edited August 7, 2009 by minh

[Brigante7]

Best of luck and please do stick to your guns and don't take any last minute waffle or excuses from them. You'll be well out of the way anyway if they need to do anything as you'll not be at the business end.

Why would he not be at the business end? The whole point of being there is to witness the birth, no?

Brigante7.

[maccaroni man]

have you asked your doc? my other-half has just told me the only thing they said to him before i went into give birth was whether he was ok around blood he said he was ok,so they gowned him up and away we went!

the nurses are really good aswell,dont think they are that used to seeing a farang lady in there,but they looked after me perfectly well.

all the best

to avoid any confussion be sure to ask the OB as that is there person with the final say.

[CTO]

Phaya Thai 2 - Caesor - thank god I'd been to see surgery many times before. Nice to be there.

Night before I was expected to sleep with wife, sent the niece instead and I slept on the floor beside them.

[paulfr]

At Bumrungrad Hospital, I watched my now 3 yr old daughter come out of the womb.

But my Thai wife's mother was not even allowed on the delivery wing much less the delivery room.

I thought it outrageous, but we had failed to ask about it beforehand.

[quiksilva]

Vichayut were great. They allowed me to be in the delivery room, so long as I stayed by my wife's side. I didn't get to see everything, which was fine by us. (I'm not great around blood).

The MIL was allowed in the labour room and everybody was allowed in the delivery wing. the standard of care was excellent, and we have now made it our first choice of hospitals.

Oh and the recovery room had proper bed (as well as a sofa) and a desk in the room for the father. Its those small things which set it apart. The cost was pretty decent too.