The Umbrella Rant.

[Moonrakers]

It's hard enough to negotiate these uneven streets safely without these contraptions being banded about recklessly. I mean really, things such as reversing on a public foot path whilst in control of an unmbrella should be made a civil crime.

I feel that is only my generally being taller than most here, and my own larger more protective (And carefully piloted) umbrella that I do not now find myself in the rutnin eye clinic.

Why the government doesn't pass some sort of umbrella licencing bill to improve public safety is beyond me. Samak out.

Rant over.

[kmart]

Three days of rain has got me and some of my staff at work in a bad mood also. I got p!ssed wet through just running from the car park to the office door this morning.

The OP's post has reminded me to keep an umbrella in the car today. I will sharpen all the metal bits on it, first.

[eek]

I understand your rant, however, we need our umbreIIas! I say rant about the umbreIIa design rather than the peopIe weiIding them (aIthough some reaIIy do need to Iearn a bit of umbreIIa etiquette..but thats a worIdwide issue )

[bkkjames]

I understand your rant, however, we need our umbreIIas! I say rant about the umbreIIa design rather than the peopIe weiIding them (aIthough some reaIIy do need to Iearn a bit of umbreIIa etiquette..but thats a worIdwide issue )

I say they need to get a permit to operate them. Or at least some training.

[Moonrakers]

I understand your rant, however, we need our umbreIIas! I say rant about the umbreIIa design rather than the peopIe weiIding them (aIthough some reaIIy do need to Iearn a bit of umbreIIa etiquette..but thats a worIdwide issue )

There's a thought, all umbrellas should come with reflectors, soft spongy nits and proximity detectors, along with proper training that is.

[Super Hans]

I agree.

What is the point of umbrellas anyway? I have never felt the need to use one. They don't stop your feet getting wet, which is by far the worst part of rain.

[doctormann]

I'm amazed at the number of motorcyclists that use umbrellas while on the move. I wonder if any have turned into involuntary parascenders? One advantage though - it means that they can't talk on their mobile phones at the same time as even in Thailand at least one hand is required to control the m/c. I could be wrong there, mind you.

DM

[TheDon]

I poked some chick the other day with the umbrella and she had a go at me and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off.

I actually thought the rain would go around me from having these beasty arms. But I guess not

[candoman89]

Prime Minister Schamuck (sic) announced a crackdown on umbrella use. Persons without a valid umbrella permit will be dealt with severely he said . These foreigners are giving Thailand a bad image.

[Payboy]

luckily i am waterproof - so don't need those abominations of fashion

[bkkjames]

I poked some chick the other day with the umbrella and she had a go at me and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off.

I actually thought the rain would go around me from having these beasty arms. But I guess not

I see that your arms aren't only things that have swollen. Boy will you be in for a rude awakening here in Thailand the first time you threaten a Thai guy with those 'guns' because me thinks the 'guns' they use around here don't involve steroids.

[TheDon]

I poked some chick the other day with the umbrella and she had a go at me and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off.

I actually thought the rain would go around me from having these beasty arms. But I guess not

I see that your arms aren't only things that have swollen. Boy will you be in for a rude awakening here in Thailand the first time you threaten a Thai guy with those 'guns' because me thinks the 'guns' they use around here don't involve steroids.

Nah mate,

They will have a heart attack just looking at me, 10 years of steriod abuse mate. I dont need to threaten anyone with these arms

[Thaddeus]

I dont need to threaten anyone with these arms

Possible scenario.

The fantasy

The reality

[Cuban]

...and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off....

Indeed mentioning the Southern Texas Farming Union can set some young Thai ladies.

[TheDon]

...and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off....

Indeed mentioning the Southern Texas Farming Union can set some young Thai ladies.

The lady I told to <deleted> was a aussie chick in her 40's

[Lost in LOS]

was in hong kong for 5 days and rained all of them. i was ducking constantly, better here than there

[Chaimai]

I'm amazed at the number of motorcyclists that use umbrellas while on the move. I wonder if any have turned into involuntary parascenders? One advantage though - it means that they can't talk on their mobile phones at the same time as even in Thailand at least one hand is required to control the m/c. I could be wrong there, mind you.

I think you will find that many Thais have learned to tuck the phone under their helmet strap. I guess they are technically "hands free"

[Payboy]

I dont need to threaten anyone with these arms

Possible scenario.

The fantasy

The reality

the most likely....

Edited July 10, 2008 by Payboy

[kmart]

...and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off....

Indeed mentioning the Southern Texas Farming Union can set some young Thai ladies.

The lady I told to <deleted> was a aussie chick in her 40's

Not wishing to be pedantic, mate, but women in their 40's can still be referred to as "chicks?"

[Tod Daniels]

I usually will grab the edge of the umbrella I am approaching and tug on it. This I feel 'warns' the diminutive native carrying it they need to exhibit caution in using such a complex piece of dangerous machinery.

I believe this may be a more accurate depiction of 'TheDon'; sometimes delusional, but always amusing in an infantile way.

Then again who knows?

[pampal]

I have been nearly blinded many times from errant umbrella users, they definitely need to learn how to use these dangerous items.

[TheDon]

ANywhere you go it happens, all the brellas are out in sydney. maybe they should just ban them worldwide, go back to the rain coats

[Moonrakers]

...and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off....

Indeed mentioning the Southern Texas Farming Union can set some young Thai ladies.

The lady I told to <deleted> was a aussie chick in her 40's

Not wishing to be pedantic, mate, but women in their 40's can still be referred to as "chicks?"

???

Maybe Don "Poked" Kylie.

Edited July 10, 2008 by globalj

[Zpete]

...and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off....

Indeed mentioning the Southern Texas Farming Union can set some young Thai ladies.

The lady I told to <deleted> was a aussie chick in her 40's

Steroids upset ya looking peepers too?

Emu chick, no doubt.

[eek]

I understand your rant, however, we need our umbreIIas! I say rant about the umbreIIa design rather than the peopIe weiIding them (aIthough some reaIIy do need to Iearn a bit of umbreIIa etiquette..but thats a worIdwide issue )

There's a thought, all umbrellas should come with reflectors, soft spongy nits and proximity detectors, along with proper training that is.

CouId aIso have Iearner pIates/stickers for those in training, and stickers for those with umbreIIa offenses/retraining. The Iearners shouId aIso equip a reverse detector, which, Iike the securicor trucks in the UK, aIert the pupIic behind with "the umbreIIa hoIder is reversing, the umbreIIa hoIder is reversing".

I agree.

What is the point of umbrellas anyway? I have never felt the need to use one. They don't stop your feet getting wet, which is by far the worst part of rain.

Now thats the mind of a man for sure! Ask any woman what part of their body they dont want to get wet, im sure you wiII be met with a unanimous repIy: "HAIR!"

...and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off....

Indeed mentioning the Southern Texas Farming Union can set some young Thai ladies.

The lady I told to <deleted> was a aussie chick in her 40's

HUH? You toId her to <deleted>, but stiII asked her her age? (no need to answer, im just being stupid.. )

[Super Hans]

Now thats the mind of a man for sure! laugh.gif Ask any woman what part of their body they dont want to get wet, im sure you wiII be met with a unanimous repIy: "HAIR!"

Oh I don't know. There are other areas, but maybe that's just when they're with me.

[surface]

I poked some chick the other day with the umbrella and she had a go at me and I told her to <deleted> which really set her off.

Bet you were glad to packing those guns, else you might not have had the balls to tell that middle aged woman off.

[Naam]

I dont need to threaten anyone with these arms

Possible scenario.

The fantasy

The reality

[chang35baht]

Surely the basic flaw is in the design. The spines, if pointing upwards would be less dangerous. Any collected rainfall could be covertly tipped into the brolly of someone mishandling said apparatus.