MidoriApple Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 (edited) Umm...it's not quite trouble... but I just wondered... Thai single woman with foreigner get along.. to go for meals, shopping, talking ..anything as a good companion does.. Can it be? In western way IMO, intimate activity (OK..I mean SEX) is just a normal practice But by Thai decent tradition, sex is not freely done without legal commitment. It's true that nowadays, Thai accept to do this more and more... But it doesn't mean every Thai is happy to do so.. Read a lot that Thai women say to be just friends, no more than that... foreign guys will just disappear... Why? Is it weird to be just friend with the opposite gender? My experience, I have some foreign friends.. some are gud but some..... so, disappeared. I am not beautiful nor smart woman, but maybe Thailand had reputation for beautiful Asian girls and also popular in sexing tourisms... so I often asked for... I am sick of this..usually enjoy having new friends in every day but this make me.... nearly give up to have foreign friends.... Or am I just too conservative ? Do you have friends in opp. gender? What do you do with them? Edited October 14, 2008 by MidoriApple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlx Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Thai single woman with foreigner get along.. to go for meals, shopping, talking ..anything as a good companion does.. Can it be?In western way IMO, intimate activity (OK..I mean SEX) is just a normal practice But by Thai decent tradition, sex is not freely done without legal commitment. That's funny because it has always been the opposite for me! I am female (from NY) and all of my (platonic) best friends my entire life have been male. But then I came to Thailand expecting it to be the same and lost lots of Thai male friends because Thai culture does not seem to accept friendships between males and females- the society is very segregated, so that men hang with men and women hang with women and if they cross that line it usually means they are sleeping together. Once a Thai guy realized I didn't want him for that, he dropped me every time. It might be different in Bangkok but that has been my experience everywhere else in Thailand. For me, it is very easy to make friends with Western guys, who stay friends even after they learn I don't want to sleep with them. I relate to them really well... Maybe for Thai girls it is harder because the specific demographic of men coming to Thailand is for the most part here because they are interested in primarily sexual relations with a Thai girl? Also, it is more likely that a deep friendship can develop between 2 people who have a decent understanding of each others' cultures and reactions to things etc. The fact that west and east are opposite are probably an obstacle to serious friendship as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgtpeppers Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 (edited) Umm...it's not quite trouble... but I just wondered...Thai single woman with foreigner get along.. to go for meals, shopping, talking ..anything as a good companion does.. Can it be? ive remained friends for years with one lady because she was so fat. does that help ? Edited October 14, 2008 by sgtpeppers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaipete Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 That is strange I have visited Thailand for 36 years and lived here most of 25 years I have many platonic friends of both sexes, even a couple of ex girlfriends who are great friends and one even works for me now. no question od sex anymore just deep and affectionate friendship Umm...it's not quite trouble... but I just wondered...Thai single woman with foreigner get along.. to go for meals, shopping, talking ..anything as a good companion does.. Can it be? In western way IMO, intimate activity (OK..I mean SEX) is just a normal practice But by Thai decent tradition, sex is not freely done without legal commitment. It's true that nowadays, Thai accept to do this more and more... But it doesn't mean every Thai is happy to do so.. Read a lot that Thai women say to be just friends, no more than that... foreign guys will just disappear... Why? Is it weird to be just friend with the opposite gender? My experience, I have some foreign friends.. some are gud but some..... so, disappeared. I am not beautiful nor smart woman, but maybe Thailand had reputation for beautiful Asian girls and also popular in sexing tourisms... so I often asked for... I am sick of this..usually enjoy having new friends in every day but this make me.... nearly give up to have foreign friends.... Or am I just too conservative ? Do you have friends in opp. gender? What do you do with them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bravingbangkok Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Best thing in the world to have lots of freinds who are girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Maybe not so unusual. My long time Thai lady friend refused to sleep with me. Our relationship eventually worked out when it finally dawned on me that she would be a perfect mate for me. She is now my wife and we are very happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmybubble Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I think that a lot of men don't really see the point in being 'just friends' with girls. They can get everything they want out of friendship with other dudes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidoriApple Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 That's funny because it has always been the opposite for me! I am female (from NY) and all of my (platonic) best friends my entire life have been male. But then I came to Thailand expecting it to be the same and lost lots of Thai male friends because Thai culture does not seem to accept friendships between males and females- the society is very segregated, so that men hang with men and women hang with women and if they cross that line it usually means they are sleeping together. Once a Thai guy realized I didn't want him for that, he dropped me every time. It might be different in Bangkok but that has been my experience everywhere else in Thailand. For me, it is very easy to make friends with Western guys, who stay friends even after they learn I don't want to sleep with them. I relate to them really well... Maybe for Thai girls it is harder because the specific demographic of men coming to Thailand is for the most part here because they are interested in primarily sexual relations with a Thai girl? Also, it is more likely that a deep friendship can develop between 2 people who have a decent understanding of each others' cultures and reactions to things etc. The fact that west and east are opposite are probably an obstacle to serious friendship as well. Hi, girlx I thought Western girls here would have this matter as well. Because Thai always thinks sex for Westerners is a normal practice to do, some will think it is just an intimate experience for them. You might know Thai men admire the beauty of caucasion girls, especially the blonde. But I don't know why it is hardly seen Thai men with cuacasion wives in here. girlx, I agree ...it is hard to have deep friendship in different gender between Eastern and Western. Have never had this problem with Thai men, I have lots to be close friends.... I am now a little depressed, seem like I will lose a friend in this soo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divegear Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 It is hard to have foreign friends because they are more comfortable with his/her country men rather than some strange. They even do not know customs, traditions so have problem in adjusting in such situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidoriApple Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 ive remained friends for years with one lady because she was so fat. does that help ? You are the same as my friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jfchandler Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Well Midori... a couple of things here... 1. You should at least be pleased that farang guys are ASKING you for sex as opposed to NOT asking..... Think of it as a compliment.... 2. I have and keep a number of different Thai female friends here in BKK where we comfortably have ongoing non-sexual relationships. For me, as a single man, GFs may come and go (such is life and romance), but my women Thai friends and I stay in touch and together because we like each other, feel comfortable together, and typically have some history together... When you're dating, it's typically a much more regular schedule of meeting and going out... But for my platonic friends, it's more sporadic... We may not get together for a month or two... But when we do, it's just picking up like nothing happened in the meantime. It's also kind of nice...because it's break from all the game-playing and occasional strife associated with romance. Given the choice of a night out with the guys or a night out with one or more Thai women (platonic), I'd choose the ladies any day... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidoriApple Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 That is strange I have visited Thailand for 36 years and lived here most of 25 years I have many platonic friends of both sexes, even a couple of ex girlfriends who are great friends and one even works for me now.no question od sex anymore just deep and affectionate friendship Maybe I would need to take some time and be patience with hope... to have a platonic one, I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidoriApple Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 Best thing in the world to have lots of freinds who are girls I do...!!! But with the foreign one, so..ooo... hard to find female here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RakJungTorlae Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 This is the funny thing I have noticed. If a guy can keep he’s cool then the girl will be impressed by his behavior and then start to gain interest in him.. You know its true!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidoriApple Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 Maybe not so unusual. My long time Thai lady friend refused to sleep with me. Our relationship eventually worked out when it finally dawned on me that she would be a perfect mate for me. She is now my wife and we are very happy. Is good that your friendship become a perfect couple.... I am happy for u. Mine is not yet.. I haven't felt "the connect", so far. and I still need to enjoy my independence, not in a hurry to make a wonderful family... Just friends that I need now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceBlondie Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I spent two years in the provinces, where 85% of my coworkers were only slightly younger than me, and female Thais. When they realized I was not asking them for dates, and was not in any way threatening their social and professional status, we became friends. Maybe they suspected I was gay, but they never asked. Now a couple of them are real friends...no, only one is. All my life, even when happily married to my wife, I had female friends. When they realized I was not on the make, it made a more intimate but platonic friendship possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard_smith237 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 From a male perspective I second Girlx’s comments. I’ve many genuine female friends back home, mostly from School and Uni days, but no so in Thailand. I’d suggest that there are not enough cultural and social consistencies between Thai ladies and western men to mentally stimulate each other in the long term. I’m guessing that generalisations also interfere with the development of plutonic relationships, particularly due to certain negative aspects of each group. With this in mind I think it’s equally difficult for western men and women in Thailand to make acquaintance and build up a lasting relationship. I also observe that the cultural differences exist in the manner that in the west it’s quite common to have friends of the opposite gender, whereas in Thailand it’s not as common; with exception of the ever popular ‘GBF’ (gay best friend). It seems that there is a jealousy factor that would appear to get in the way. And in a culture where there is a word for ‘special friend’; Gik, I can understand why. It’s simply not easy to make a good friend of the opposite gender. Either the guy wants something, the girl wants something, the partner doesn’t like it. And if those barriers can be surpassed then one has to find a friend of suitable stimulus where there is no attraction on both sides... It seems the odds are stacked against this one, add that to the general reputation opposing genders have of each other in a location such as Thailand and its hardly surprising that genuine plutonic relationships between opposing genders are not more common. And then there is common ground... what to do.... Golf ? Sit in the pub and solve the worlds problems ? Go on holiday with girlfriend and take the ‘female friend along’ ? it all seems a bit too unlikely that anything more than a distant friendship can exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Have many Thai ladies who happen to be my mate and mate only. Not every western lad is looking for a shag, some of us are interested in having a mate and leave the romantic/shagging to our gf or wife. I suggest anyone who drops a mate after given the redlight towards a shag well isn't your mate after all and you are better off without them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RakJungTorlae Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 The only thing is see in this topic is the OP is Complaining about not meeting the right guy. So they make a move on you, maybe your attractive, and you reject them, But if you managed to be friends with a guy who took your attention then there is a possibly your not just friends anymore, that's life right.This applies in reverse as well. Same as gay and lesbian's I guess too. Don't ague with nature you will only lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jfchandler Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 And then there is common ground... what to do....Golf ? Sit in the pub and solve the worlds problems ? Go on holiday with girlfriend and take the ‘female friend along’ ? it all seems a bit too unlikely that anything more than a distant friendship can exist. Hmmm...I dunno... What might any two people do together in BKK?... Eat... drink... dance... shopping... bowling... swimming.... jogging.... karaoke.... concert... and on and on and on.... Ya...you're right... It does all seem a bit too unlikely.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RakJungTorlae Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Hmmm...I dunno... What might any two people do together in BKK?... Eat... drink... dance... shopping... bowling... swimming.... jogging.... karaoke.... concert... and on and on and on....Ya...you're right... It does all seem a bit too unlikely.... Sounds like a recipe for making baby’s!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jfchandler Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 No..that's the part that comes AFTER (or inbetween) all the other things I mentioned... I have heard....but I can't confirm it personally....that it is possible for a man and woman to go swimming together without sex being involved.... About karaoke...hmm.... that might be a bit tougher to stay platonic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 ^depends on how you sing - if its like a cat, then might be quite easy to remain platonic or maybe even lose a mate!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aries27 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 (edited) Easy...first have an intimate relationship with them, go through the motions and then break off.. Then they will be your best of friends. Will work best for people who want to enjoy independence a little more. Edited October 14, 2008 by aries27 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aries27 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Seriously, if you are NOt interested in the person romantically and he/she to you, you could just end up being friends. No other way. Or maybe, if you are already secure in a relationship, find someone who is also in the same situation. You will be just great friends. Hope that helps! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I think it would be instructional to ask the question - are the Foreign men the OP is meeting a representative sample of foreign men in general or is there something about the fact that they are in Thailand that provides a bias to their view of Thai women and their expectations of relationships with Thai women? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve w Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 i have loads of thai female friends that i eat/drink /talk with and have no inclination to penetrate,am i not normal or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceBlondie Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Meaningful, long, platonic friendships are rare enough to make, with people of our own gender and cultural background. Move overseas, and the problems multiply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmeriThai Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I have several Thai female friends - strictly platonic. Been good friends with most of them for over 15+ years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MetroGirl Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Well for me….. Many farangs just don’t seem to understand that…. “Casual friends doesn’t necessary include a casual sex too” Oh well …. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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