Are White Women Really All That Bad?

[tutsiwarrior]

this is an attempt to re-access the ongoing thai woman/white woman debate as I had an epiphany of sorts recently regarding the evil white girl...

per usual I was minding my own business when the 'holiday season' descended with the attendant round of festive activities. I am happily married to a Thai woman and previously thought that there was no debate when western/asian preferences were discussed on this forum. Recently I had the opportunity to meet a highly paid, well educated, young, attractive white woman (engineering project manager) and I have withdrawn from my general accessment of most, if not all,white girls are put here to cause damage to unsuspecting, well intentioned men. Granted I had not been in contact with likely specimens for a few years and I was flattered when a woman less than half my age behaved in a gratifying manner when it was obvious that she had nothing to gain. We were in a restaurant with other associates sitting together over our fettuchini and red wine and had a remarkably pleasant exchange although she was aware of my circumstances (ex of a western country and living with an asian woman with property and responsibilities in Thailand) and the implications regarding white women in general. Maybe it's because I am a 60's person when it was 'uncool' to be a pleasant, well groomed female...who knows. I do know that political correctness and all the attendant bullsh1t resulted from 60's excess.

Anyway...I was staring the enemy in the face and she was no enemy at all...I would want my daughter to be like her.

Be warned that wise-assed remarks are anticipated and the guns are loaded...

[sbk]

Epiphany indeed Tutsi. Glad to hear you met someone pleasant. It happens on the odd occasion with farang guys too

But it is, indeed gratifying to hear that you have decided to re-form your opinions based on your experiences. So many guys have a bad experience with an ex and tar an entire population with that. I, too, had a bad experience with a farang man. But I was wise enough to realize that just because I had picked a bad apple didn't mean that the whole bushel had gone off.

[SK1972]

Well said SBK and Tutsi! Glad to hear that at least one farang man in BKK thinks that not all farang/expat women are ugly, fat, jealous creatures with a vengence on Thai women!!

Not all farang (men or women) here are bad and not all Thai women are bad.....it is the matter of finding the good ones that are hard!!

Edited December 15, 2004 by SK1972

[cdnvic]

I didn't 'pick' a Thai girl, like she was an item on the shelf. I didn't reject white women (or any other race. I was sitting at a BBQ, enjoying a rum and coke when I saw a pretty girl a few tables away. I, quite uncharicteristicly smiled, and to my surprise she smiled back, and that was it.

She wasn't white, she wasn't thai, she was just the girl who smiled back.

lucky me

cv

[poolcleaner]

I notice a bit of an escape clause there ..

"Anyway...I was staring the enemy in the face and she was no enemy at all...I would want my daughter to be like her."

Daughters are one thing but, and given there must have been an age difference,

would you choose to be married to her over your present Thai wife?

That's the real question.

The whole scenario brings to mind a "Lost in Translation" tet-a-tet.

My view is when I was back home I enjoyed "Streets" ice cream. Thought it was good until I tried "Hagen Daz".

Now I couldn't ever enjoy a Streets ice cream again as much as before.

I want the Hagen Daz please, every time.

But I guess I would still buy a Strrets if I had no choice.

[sbk]

I notice a bit of an escape clause there ..

"Anyway...I was staring the enemy in the face and she was no enemy at all...I would want my daughter to be like her."

Daughters are one thing but, and given there must have been an age difference,

would you choose to be married to her over your present Thai wife?

That's the real question.

The whole scenario brings to mind a "Lost in Translation" tet-a-tet.

My view is when I was back home I enjoyed "Streets" ice cream. Thought it was good until I tried "Hagen Daz".

Now I couldn't ever enjoy a Streets ice cream again as much as before.

I want the Hagen Daz please, every time.

But I guess I would still buy a Strrets if I had no choice.

what a cliche

[tutsiwarrior]

poolcleaner...I don't view what you mentioned regarding wanting a nice, pleasant white girl as my wife in place of my present arrangement as 'the real question"...

perhaps the real question would be if my circumstances were different and I was married to the nice white girl would she inevitably evolve into a monstrosity resembling my previous white girl wife...

maybe too much of a 'face value' item?...

[Insight]

Personally reckon that because we're a fair bit spoilt here, the tension gathered from our experiences with Western girls all those years back finally has an opportunity to be released, which is why it's sometimes on the excessive side on this forum.

Of course, not all experiences with Western girls are negative - evidence of which can be found by the millions of couples living together in the Western would. (Could that possibly the most pointless sentence I've ever wrote in my life?)

However, when we're faced with a negative experience with a Western girl out here, we instantly draw parallels to our negative experiences back in our homelands, thus magnifying the stereotype. "They're all b!tches, see!?!"

This happened to me a few months ago in a bar on Samui. Tried to spark conversation off with two very bored looking UK girls by asking them how long they've been here. After getting a very unprovoked, sarcastic reply I shook my head laughing at the same time, rather than take it personally (which is probably what I would of done in the UK). After a few more minutes they then reproached me and we then went on to have a good conversation, thus restoring my faith

[Boo]

Of course, not all experiences with Western girls are negative - evidence of which can be found by the millions of couples living together in the Western would. (Could that possibly the most pointless sentence I've ever wrote in my life?)

Quite possibly the most obvious sentence but something that the several thousand guys here in LOS need reminding of sometimes.

[Explorer]

I'm "color-blind" , to me every individual is unique with their own special ways.

It's like what they say "same same but different"

Explorer

[padma]

In summary to what I wrote before my computer froze...

When you come from more you put up with less.

You often are a servant to your circumstances.

From the jobs you do to the people you date or later marry.

Women from the west have achieved a certain level of freedom and security that allows them to be more selective on the mates we choose. Hence in the long run there is more honesty in the relationship as we don't need you, we actually really like/love you. That may not me of all women in the west but in my age and peer group it certainly is.

Dating and marrying a women that comes from a developing country to one that comes from a developed country is like comparing apples to oranges.

Also comparing a women who has a professional career to one who barely makes minimum wages is also comparing apples to oranges.

When women have more freedom, they make different choices, and hence are different people.

Some "insecure" folk may call us bitches

[Khutan]

I'm "color-blind" , to me every individual is unique with their own special ways.

It's like what they say "same same but different"

Explorer 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am becoming that way myself.

My problem I was so #$%@ed-over by the ex. The constant abuse etc etc, really made it hard for me to really tolerate it. I came here and met my new wife, and she went troppo, all her friends just set on me, and I just felt it better to call it a day and live here.

So when they want to abuse me for what I did, well, they get an enormous phone bill

What did I do, well I saw the video of her with another man. When I confronted her, three denials, and she tried to deny it was her, on the pool-deck..... Finally her answer was "I think I love him" .

I told her to leave, which she did, and I didn't see much of her for 6 months. The total hyde was that her b/f would come into my bar in Sydney and expect discount drinks. I even signed over a company car which was a 9 month old SL500 Benz. I also gave her $65,000 when she said she wanted a deposit for a house to buy with her b/f. I gave it to her on the condition of a divorce.

So Divorced, custody and property finished, she is with her b/f I gave the deposit for the house, and she and her friends are totally abusive - why I have married a Thai.

Sadly, all I get from her and her female friends are the most vile racist and sexual taunts. I am so tired of hearing "LBFM" and "Thai Slut" and "Does she #@$%$ good?" The sort of question I would not ask, or answer. Stupidly "LBFM" I didn't think applied to Thai people.

Now when their husbands come here on business, # 5 has just shuffeled through, I just tell them how much I pity them, and sorry, I can't see you, I don't want your wife to think I am trying to lead you astray.

Worked so far.

But the bitterness is receeding. Why don't I want a western wife, well I just don't want another wife. I am so happy and I don't want to change.

Sorry I edited this to fix Grammar and spelling.

Edited December 15, 2004 by mattnich

[Pink Mist]

I didn't 'pick' a Thai girl, like she was an item on the shelf. I didn't reject white women (or any other race. I was sitting at a BBQ, enjoying a rum and coke when I saw a pretty girl a few tables away. I, quite uncharicteristicly smiled, and to my surprise she smiled back, and that was it.

She wasn't white, she wasn't thai, she was just the girl who smiled back.

lucky me 

cv

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

that should say it all really

a Woman not Thai not Farang, a Woman

[SK1972]

I even signed over a company car which was a 9 month old SL500 Benz. I also gave her $65,000 when she said she wanted a deposit for a house to buy with her b/f. I gave it to her on the condition of a divorce.

Sorry Mattnich..........this sounds pretty similar to what happened to my friends who married Thai women (not BGs) except the divorce part....... Most of them had to buy their wife a car, a house etc....all in the woman's name......

Why don't I want a western wife, well I just don't want another wife/QUOTE]

Doesnt mean you had ONE bad experience with a western woman, all western women are bad. There are bad women everywhere, Thailand included!

Bad people are bad people (men and women), no matter what nationality or country they are from.

[Khutan]

Doesnt mean you had ONE bad experience with a western woman, all western women are bad. There are bad women everywhere, Thailand included!

Of course, you are totally correct, I suppose my final point was well, I am now so very happy with my wife. I don't care where anyone else came from I would never want to stop with my wife.

Another thing was I was so very bord with busines and corporate life, so learning a new life for me is a great experience. Like being a little boy again walking around with wide eyes.

[padma]

Every action causes a reaction.

I'm getting tired of listening to the same stories over and over of men getting &$%^$#^ over by ex's in the west. Well I've got to say there's 2 sides to every story and sadly on TV we only get to hear the man's side.

Western women have get abused by western men too. Yet we don't go flocking to third world countries to date or marry men who we can barely communicate or relate to beyond the bedroom. I can recount several horror stories of relationships I and and my friends have had with western men. I won't because it's not worth it, it's in the past and I hate whiners. I also won't hold a grudge against any man from the west because of my past experiences.

[Axel]

My answer is very short: No!

A woman is a woman and a man is a man, never shall the twain meet.

Or let's put it another way. Who ever constructed men and women had some major flaws in the moulds which makes both species not compatible and over a shorter or longer period drifting apart.

Knowing this both should try to compromise, well it not always works out.

However, IMHO this has nothing to do with race...

[Khutan]

Every action causes a reaction.

I'm getting tired of listening to the same stories over and over of men getting &$%^$#^ over by ex's in the west.  Well I've got to say there's 2 sides to every story and sadly on TV we only get to hear the man's side.

Western women have get abused by western men too.  Yet we don't go flocking to third world countries to date or marry men who we can barely communicate or relate to beyond the bedroom.  I can recount several horror stories of relationships I and and my friends have had with western men. I won't because it's not worth it, it's in the past and I hate whiners.  I also won't hold a grudge against any man from the west because of my past experiences.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes and every generalisation is just that.

and why not contradict yourself....

I'm getting tired of listening to the same stories over and over of men getting &$%^$#^ over by ex's in the west.  Well I've got to say there's 2 sides to every story and sadly on TV we only get to hear the man's side.

.................

I can recount several horror stories of relationships I and and my friends have had with western men. I won't because it's not worth it, it's in the past and I hate whiners.

So you are saying you are happy to sit back and be critical and yet (no pun intended) not really add anything constructive.

I also won't hold a grudge against any man from the west because of my past experiences.

No I don't hold a grudge, I pity them for being married to such spiteful women.

As for their wives, who obviously taken joy (no pun again) in taking sides, well I do hold a grudge, against them personally.

For me I am not going to generalise or be anecdotal, just my personal experience.

Finally from what I can see in your attitude

I can recount several horror stories of relationships I and and my friends have had with western men.

Have you tried looking at your own words - there may be an answer there.

[padma]

Mattnich,

Touched a sore spot I see.

What don't you understand.

Yes, I'm tired of hearing the daily bashing of women of the west.

No, I'm not going to start bashing men of the west because of stuff my girlfriends and I have encountered. Or because others in this forum do.

I'm not simply not going to play that way.

I won't tell you what happened to me because it's something of the past that I've learnt from with one individual. Because this individual was American, I'm not going to hate all Americans. I also don't hold a grudge against this individual because it was partly my fault for allowing this to happen in my life.

You see, at one point in one's life you have to grow up, take some responsibility for some of the shit in your life and stop whining.

[Boo]

Fact of the matter is people that the farang girls in LOS don't feel the need to slag off every farang man they meet for being a farang man unlike a lot of men who come to LOS.

The biggest offenders are usually the ones tring to hide something about their past relationships. Maybe they weren't quite as pure white as they claim or actually as much of a victim as they like to make out, more than likely they were equal players in a nasty play both as bad as each other??!!

What ever the reason, get over it, enjoy life, don't dwell on the past just get on with the future.

[padma]

I also don't believe recounting any story that involves 2 or more people is useful,

especially if you are making accusations to the other party involved.

It's easy to point fingers and blame and get people to feel sorry for you when the other party isn't present to defend themselves or tell of their side of the story.

[Khutan]

Touched a sore spot I see.

No not really, I just think generalising and providing anecdotes is poor, without being constructive.

What don't you understand.

Begs a generalisation....

to paraphrase you; only the Male point of view is given and Females don't recount the same stories.

Yes, I'm tired of hearing the daily bashing of women of the west.

Normally I read this forum, do you have one of those talking programs that reads for you ? Does it have an American accent ?

[jackr]

Yet we don't go flocking to third world countries to date or marry men who we can barely communicate or relate to beyond the bedroom.

No, but you proceed to take the guys' property and wealth.

[ZOVOX]

Personally, i love Thailand, but i do miss seeing farang girls - i'm sick of just seeing old farts with tarts. Farang girls, where are you ?

[Insight]

From a different perspective, there's the Western girl I met a few months ago who's lived out here one year.

Her opinions were:

a) It was disgusting to see Western men with Thai girls - they're only doing it because they can't get Western women themselves.

She didn't trust Thai girls anyway because every Western man she knew that's been involved with Thai girls had been screwed over at some point. There was one "close friend" she knew with a Thai girl and didn't believe she really loved him and one day she was going to be the big hero and pull this Thai girl up about him to get the record straight. Ho ho ho.

She'd spent most of her time on Ko Samui and, as usual, had come to Thailand to "open her mind" to help her compose some music. Only met her the once; that was enough.

Point is, it's not the guys who move here who are the only people that make sweeping generalisations. Everybody is responsible for it now and again in some form or other.

Edited December 15, 2004 by Insight

[britmaveric]

Take everyone as an individual and then judge them accordingly. Easy to make decisions when you lump everyone together as a certain type, much harder to get to know someone and base your opinions on an actual individual. I prefer taking the difficult approach instead of quite honestly being plain lazy.

[padma]

jackr,

I've never taken any man's money or property. I simply don't have to.

Mattnich,

Do you badger your wife on her mistakes in english and grammar.

Must be difficult communicating. But then again you're not in the relationship to communicate I take it.

You are talking about being constructive after your bitter post about a past relationship. Let's see. Get over it, it's in the past. Don't let this bad experience stop you from developing relationships with western women......etc....

[Khutan]

Mattnich,

Do you badger your wife on her mistakes in english and grammar.

Only in the Property Settlement and the Custody of the Children.

Must be difficult communicating. But then again you're not in the relationship to communicate I take it.

Well you obviously know everything. I am not sure who you are trying to slur here, are you talking about my relationship with my wife, who I have lived with for over two years, and have been married to for over a year.

If so, then that is very interesting, we communicate alot, and well passing judgment on someone you have never communicated with, I am not even going to comment on that. But if you like I can PM you her phone number and you can talkto her in Thai or English or Khmer or even Mandarin, if you prefer to email her, then you can do write in any of those languages.

If you are assuming I married my wife for one thing, well you can assume that, with my pity.

If you aren't talking about my wife, what are you ranting about ?

You are talking about being constructive after your bitter post about a past relationship. Let's see. Get over it, it's in the past. Don't let this bad experience stop you from developing relationships with western women......etc....

No, I was talking about you being constructive, and not just sitting back and being an "Armchair critic"....

Just to quote myself - you will see the word YOU.

So you are saying you are happy to sit back and be critical and yet (no pun intended) not really add anything constructive.

But I will quote myself again.....

I can recount several horror stories of relationships I and and my friends have had with western men.

Have you tried looking at your own words - there may be an answer there.

Anyway you have a nice evening, I am off for a candle-lit dinner with my wife, should be nice, we are planning some projects together.

Sorry don't need a translator. We speak fine to each other, and write, and amazing we can also talk about abstract concepts.

[jackr]

jackr,

I've never taken any man's money or property.  I simply don't have to.

Mattnich,

Do you badger your wife on her mistakes in english and grammar.

Must be difficult communicating.  But then again you're not in the relationship to communicate I take it. 

You are talking about being constructive after your bitter post about a past relationship.  Let's see.  Get over it, it's in the past. Don't let this bad experience stop you from developing relationships with western women......etc....

Ooh, sorry about that, Padma; I made one of those nasty generalisations.

Personally, I'd blow everything I have before a woman could take it all.

[Spee]

She wasn't white, she wasn't thai, she was just the girl who smiled back.

lucky me 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My sentiments exactly ....

I happened to be working in Japan. She happened to be working in Japan. I was taken by friends to a place where I met her. We clicked. And that was it. Thirteen happy months and counting.

I consider her being Thai as a bonus, because so many doors have opened up and I've had so many new and interesting experiences as a result of our being together. It has truly been a wonderful time in my up and down life.

Also agree with Tutsi's initial post, although I've had it in my mind for many years that I would never end up being with an American girl.