I got called to come and eat in my ex's village one day.....one plate and a small amount of food....

I asked......Khun gin duai ???

She said.....Gin Laew

I said......Phom mai shob gin khon deow

They all cracked up, even Mum......I tried to say...I dont like to eat alone

I said.....I dont like to eat myself......

A mate of mine made a big stuff up on Jomtien Beach once...

He was telling us all in a very loud voice that when he comes to Thailand he likes to eat Thai food......

he said.....When I come to Thailand, Phob shob gin kuay.....

All the beach vendors turned to look at him...

I said, Mate dont you mean ....gin Khao

he said....I know what I am talking about ....."gin.......ooooopppssss!!!!"

Blamed me for teaching him THAT word...

One of my friends told me I should ask for a kuay bpun...so I did. Bugger that k and g. They're too close.

Anyway, the chef in the kitchen (or is that in the chicken?) came out wanting who wanted to gin kuay!

Never did go back there again!

my boss - Khun Djim

The girls think it's hysterical when I call her cun Djim!

When I first started here, the friendly receptionist would always say to me "Swasdee ka khun owan!".

When I learnt later that "owan" sort of meant "fatty" I decided to get my revenge (completely missing the friendly connotations).

Next day she greeted me, I replied back with "Swasdee krab khun nom yai!"

The office didn't stop laughing for the next five minutes.

The next time was when she left a note on my desk saying "Please see me" (written in English). Tried to be a smart-arse with my Thai, walked up to her and said "khun ow phom mai?"

I thought it meant something like "did you want me", but actually loosely translates to "do you want to <deleted> me?".

Queue the laughter for a second round...

My worst one was walking into a seafood restaurant and asking "Khun Hoy Arroy dee mai"

My wife then told me quickly "You can't say that! "

Thinking she was correct , I wanted to know if the mussels were fresh, I then turned and said "Khun Hoy bori-suit Mai".

My wife hit me, got my arm and dragged me out of the restaurant. After an hour of silence, I discoovered that Hoy had another meaning.

Normally, we used the Khmer word / idiom not the Thai one.

I suppose you can say, you learn a new thing every day.

When I first started here, the friendly receptionist would always say to me "Swasdee ka khun owan!".

When I learnt later that "owan" sort of meant "fatty" I decided to get my revenge (completely missing the friendly connotations).

Next day she greeted me, I replied back with "Swasdee krab khun nom yai!"

The office didn't stop laughing for the next five minutes.

The next time was when she left a note on my desk saying "Please see me" (written in English). Tried to be a smart-arse with my Thai, walked up to her and said "khun ow phom mai?"

I thought it meant something like "did you want me", but actually loosely translates to "do you want to <deleted> me?".

Queue the laughter for a second round...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

5555555

That's bloody funny....

totster

A farang got on a crowded air con bus in Bangkok, thinking he had a better chance of a seat at the back, he tried to edge his way past all the strap hangers in the aisle.He tried to say ขอโทษ khor tord,(excuse me), but it came out as ขอตด khor dtod, (may I fart please), he wondered why people were looking at him in consternation!

bannork

When I first started here, the friendly receptionist would always say to me "Swasdee ka khun owan!".

When I learnt later that "owan" sort of meant "fatty" I decided to get my revenge (completely missing the friendly connotations).

Next day she greeted me, I replied back with "Swasdee krab khun nom yai!"

The office didn't stop laughing for the next five minutes.

The next time was when she left a note on my desk saying "Please see me" (written in English). Tried to be a smart-arse with my Thai, walked up to her and said "khun ow phom mai?"

I thought it meant something like "did you want me", but actually loosely translates to "do you want to &lt;deleted&gt; me?".

Queue the laughter for a second round...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think somewhere in this hilarious anecdote should be incorporated the advice not to be a smartarse unless your Thai is very very good indeed.The fact that cohorts of Thais laugh at your efforts may well indicate a different reaction altogether than appreciation of your repartee.

When I first started here, the friendly receptionist would always say to me "Swasdee ka khun owan!".

When I learnt later that "owan" sort of meant "fatty" I decided to get my revenge (completely missing the friendly connotations).

Next day she greeted me, I replied back with "Swasdee krab khun nom yai!"

The office didn't stop laughing for the next five minutes.

The next time was when she left a note on my desk saying "Please see me" (written in English). Tried to be a smart-arse with my Thai, walked up to her and said "khun ow phom mai?"

I thought it meant something like "did you want me", but actually loosely translates to "do you want to &lt;deleted&gt; me?".

Queue the laughter for a second round...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think somewhere in this hilarious anecdote should be incorporated the advice not to be a smartarse unless your Thai is very very good indeed.The fact that cohorts of Thais laugh at your efforts may well indicate a different reaction altogether than appreciation of your repartee.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

He took the personal remarks too far, for whilst she said,' hello chubby(or fatty), a general term, he replied,' hello big tits', a bit of a jump in personal intimacy!

bannork.

I think somewhere in this hilarious anecdote should be incorporated the advice not to be a smartarse unless your Thai is very very good indeed.The fact that cohorts of Thais laugh at your efforts may well indicate a different reaction altogether than appreciation of your repartee.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ta for the advice, but by this stage I'd already gotten to know most people in the office pretty well. They wern't exactly secretly finding a cross to nail me too afterwards, and AFAIK if anything, appreciate the extra effort made to by me to learn Thai.

He took the personal remarks too far, for whilst she said,' hello chubby(or fatty), a general term, he replied,' hello big tits', a bit of a jump in personal intimacy!

bannork.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Er, ta again, but we did laugh about it also during the many weekends later she spent teaching me more Thai. Your concern is however deeply appreciated

All the best.

I once lent a hotel receptionist a couple of English conversation textbooks. When I needed them back a couple of weeks later I tried to tease her in a friendly way about not ever looking at them.

I said what I thought was "hen" (look) "kuay" (ever) "mai" (not)?

She ran away and everybody at the front desk burst out laughing.

I think I actually said something like "Do you want to see my penis?"

I once lent a hotel receptionist a couple of English conversation textbooks.  When I needed them back a couple of weeks later I tried to tease her in a friendly way about not ever looking at them. 

I said what I thought was "hen" (look) "kuay" (ever) "mai" (not)?

She ran away and everybody at the front desk burst out laughing.

I think I actually said something like "Do you want to see my penis?"

Mai Keui arn....would have been a better question.

Out in the Isaan sticks with a ###### of a hangover thus totally knackered I was taught 'Koi Bor Mee Heng' meaning 'I've got no energy'.

Sometime later I couldn't stiffle a yawn in an evening class and excused myself by uttering the above. Cue looks of amazement then hysterics. I had told them that I was in need of Viagra!

well, were you?

I said what I thought was "hen" (look) "kuay" (ever) "mai" (not)?

She ran away and everybody at the front desk burst out laughing.

I think I actually said something like "Do you want to see my penis?"

It actually means "Do you see (my/the) dick?"