Advice Need

[somluck]

This is not a flame bait and is a true story (some details not affecting storyline have been change for privacy reasons)

i meet this thai girl while she was working as a waitress in my country. i am a regular there at the restaurant and would always leave her a big tip, after some time we gotten to know each other better and became friends (over a 1 year period). she was working illegally so she have to make visa runs back to thailand every 1-2 months. we went out a few times and after that became intimate. that's when she told me that she is been 'sponsored' by a rich 70 year old European man who would give her around 50000 baht per month as allowance. This man is always travelling but she would time her waitress job to coincide with when he is in town. she goes back to him every night after finishing her waitress job. she has been with this man for 2 years but insists that she have no feelings for him, from her i know that this rich man have stash many women in many countries and she is only one of them. she does not want to leave him yet but she says she is in love with me. i have not given her a single cent so far. i have even suggested that i will 'pay' her the allowance if she can leave this man. but she told me to give her a year more when she have save up enough money then we will get marry. she is back in thailand now while i am in my own country. i cannot stand this 'arrangement' anymore and would ask if any members have been in a similar situation before with any thai girls. is this the norm?

btw She is an university graduate and was working as a teacher in her province before but found the money too little to get by. She is in her late 20s and i am a chinese singaporean 40 years old. i am no where as rich as her sponsor but i can get by. i think i am in love with this girl as she is with me. how can i break this deadlock?

[jubby]

50,000 a month. Thats a very good arrangement . She's probably a very nice girl but got used to the money, realisticly She's not going to want to give it up easily.

I'd say its common if not the 'Norm'.

He's 70 right !? . Is he in Good health ?

[a2396]

Another "Gold Standard" farang. I am really a cheap skate by comparison. No wonder my lady in question has her "ear to the rail" looking for one like this moneybags guy. It seems what these women love most is money. The more money you can give them, the more "love" you will get back.

[jubby]

Another "Gold Standard" farang. I am really a cheap skate by comparison. No wonder my lady in question has her "ear to the rail" looking for one like this moneybags guy. It seems what these women love most is money. The more money you can give them, the more "love" you will get back.

Its not quite like that mate, but lets be realistic, most Farangs have never experienced what its like to not have a 'baht' in your pocket. Struggle to feed the Kids or the like. Sleep with someone for money, not easy first time but they'll get used to it. We adapt and survive. Thats why I think they arn't going to give the money up easily. Its not that they are a bad person

[somluck]

50,000 a month. Thats a very good arrangement . She's probably a very nice girl but got used to the money, realisticly She's not going to want to give it up easily.

I'd say its common if not the 'Norm'.

He's 70 right !? . Is he in Good health ?

Thanks for the replies

I forgot to add that most of her friends working in the same place or around the area (Golden Mile) have got sponsors, those without are actively looking for one. There is a 25 year old who is the mai noi of a rich Thai businessman (60 yrs old) based in my country. There is another 'lucky' one who managed to snag a young successful rich expat working here. I know some of them have husbands or boyfriends back home in thailand even. I dun know how they explain to their families that they can make so much money as waitresses. I am not sure if she is stringing me along but people have told me that Thai girls place paramount importance on money and if she does not ask me for money then i am at least safe for the time being. She says she believe the arrangement with this man will end once he leaves the country and goes back home to europe (in a years time). I am left wondering what then? Would i have to take over the 50000k payment then?

The 70 year old guy is in good health and very active.

Edited March 5, 2009 by somluck

[submaniac]

50,000 baht a month is good money for a Thai in Thailand, but in the grand scheme of things (and for those of us from Farangland) it is not that much money. I can understand the OP's concerns, and if it were me, I do not know if I could put up with it. The big fear that I would have is that this girl has already feigned attraction and done sexual 'favors' for money, and if I were the OP I could never really be certain that she was not doing the same thing with me. What if someone with more money comes along? How are you sure she won't leave again?

[LadyHeather]

Teachers actually make a fairly decent wage, especially if living in the provinces where the cost of living is cheaper. Her story sounds rather fishy to me, frankly and it seems that perhaps you are the fish she has caught with it. Perhaps the "sponsor" is real or perhaps it is just a story to set the bar that she is hoping you will reach

Edited March 5, 2009 by LadyHeather

[jubby]

Unlike Submaniac 50,000 a lot to me.

As for her family, I'm sure they are well aware where the money comes from.

I can be a bit blunt but sometimes it does the trick. being a Singaporean, I doubt you would pay 50,000 a month to spend the time with someones Mia Noi (not knowing the singaporean term) if she was a Singaporean. Why are you considering it with this woman. Beautiful she may be but......... I don't get it.

I'm not taking the Moral Highground as I pay for Sex indirectly everyday. Just ask my wife

[somluck]

My concerns

1) Is she setting me up as future sponsor

2) Will she leave once another 'better' offer comes along

3) Does she have more sponsors that i dun know about

She says that in a year's time she would stop as she would have complete her financial commitments and gotten everything she wants (house, car etc) and saved enough for a small business (to open a restaurant in her province). Should i believe her?

[teacup]

Your fist mistake…..always left big tip, this raises the “certain” expectation of you.

And it seems she loves “money” more than she loves YOU

So I’m not seeing your situation as …”WE are in love”

Find someone else who is ready and willing to commit “equally” into the relationship as you are.......life is too short to play a waiting game, when you don't know the real outcome for sure.

Simple answer…..Move on !!!........while you are only losing "emotionally"

[bkkjames]

I always thought that the 50K was just an opening figure they start with to see if there are any takers?

[teacup]

I always thought that the 50K was just an opening figure they start with to see if there are any takers?

Speaking from your own experiences perhaps.....James?

[barky]

Well I find myself in agreeance with teacup. Money is the name of the game with her. Sad to say but you've got little to no hope. And, why would you be interested in this type of woman anyhow for a long term relationship. Don't be another sucker.

[teacup]

Well I find myself in agreeance with teacup.

Well well well ..coming from you, it’s quite a compliment..........saaa-tuu

See I can be……a lady of substance too

[bkkjames]

I always thought that the 50K was just an opening figure they start with to see if there are any takers?

Speaking from your own experiences perhaps.....James?

You are pretty quick generally though, these kind of fees are reserved for Japanese from what I hear.

[teacup]

I always thought that the 50K was just an opening figure they start with to see if there are any takers?

Speaking from your own experiences perhaps.....James?

You are pretty quick generally though, these kind of fees are reserved for Japanese from what I hear.

oh you are not that rich then,

and I thought at one time you were offering moi to be a "mia noi"....hmm

[bkkjames]

I always thought that the 50K was just an opening figure they start with to see if there are any takers?

Speaking from your own experiences perhaps.....James?

You are pretty quick generally though, these kind of fees are reserved for Japanese from what I hear.

oh you are not that rich then,

and I thought at one time you were offering moi to be a "mia noi"....hmm

well, you are older than my wife, so gik (gig) fees are substantially less I am afraid.

As for her having more sponsors - easy way to check this - if her bank account is more than yours - chances are she inherited it.

[petermik]

I think you should enjoy it while it lasts-never offer her money and see how it goes,dont get too emotionally involved and play the game-which usually it is.Good luck!

[teacup]

I always thought that the 50K was just an opening figure they start with to see if there are any takers?

Speaking from your own experiences perhaps.....James?

You are pretty quick generally though, these kind of fees are reserved for Japanese from what I hear.

oh you are not that rich then,

and I thought at one time you were offering moi to be a "mia noi"....hmm

well, you are older than my wife, so gik (gig) fees are substantially less I am afraid.

As for her having more sponsors - easy way to check this - if her bank account is more than yours - chances are she inherited it.

oii....only 7 yrs diff (almost 8 now),...... but more "experiences" w/ better ung-grit - this should count for something...yeah

for the OP......

If you have to check her bank account, then there is no "trust" between U2, ....so I would say-your relationship is doomed from the start :jerk:

[yabaaaa]

My concerns

1) Is she setting me up as future sponsor

2) Will she leave once another 'better' offer comes along

3) Does she have more sponsors that i dun know about

She says that in a year's time she would stop as she would have complete her financial commitments and gotten everything she wants (house, car etc) and saved enough for a small business (to open a restaurant in her province). Should i believe her?

1.yes

2. yes

3.yes

can u see a pattern here?

[bkkjames]

I always thought that the 50K was just an opening figure they start with to see if there are any takers?

Speaking from your own experiences perhaps.....James?

You are pretty quick generally though, these kind of fees are reserved for Japanese from what I hear.

oh you are not that rich then,

and I thought at one time you were offering moi to be a "mia noi"....hmm

well, you are older than my wife, so gik (gig) fees are substantially less I am afraid.

As for her having more sponsors - easy way to check this - if her bank account is more than yours - chances are she inherited it.

oii....only 7 yrs diff (almost 8 now),...... but more "experiences" w/ better ung-grit - this should count for something...yeah

for the OP......

If you have to check her bank account, then there is no "trust" between U2, ....so I would say-your relationship is doomed from the start :jerk:

You are almost 32? BTW, she is fluent in English, speaks and writes better than me does.

As for the OP, do you think his girl didn't get a gander at his bank account? Probably the 2nd question after what kind of work does he do?

[teacup]

You are almost 32? BTW, she is fluent in English, speaks and writes better than me does.

oh I thought she's 21, have to back track then,.....and I'm prettty sure my english can be better than yours, if that's one of your requirement

As for the OP, do you think his girl didn't get a gander at his bank account? Probably the 2nd question after what kind of work does he do?

yeah....where is the OP?.....do tell here

[Maigo6]

If you have to check her bank account, then there is no "trust" between U2, ....so I would say-your relationship is doomed from the start

Like 2 out of 3 marriages are doomed from the start in the west you mean ?

[teacup]

If you have to check her bank account, then there is no "trust" between U2, ....so I would say-your relationship is doomed from the start

Like 2 out of 3 marriages are doomed from the start in the west you mean ?

err....ja, u r a one smart farang

[Maigo6]

If you have to check her bank account, then there is no "trust" between U2, ....so I would say-your relationship is doomed from the start

Like 2 out of 3 marriages are doomed from the start in the west you mean ?

err....ja, u r a one smart farang

Yes, I know.....

It's something I've had to live with all my life.

[samuibeachcomber]

Teachers actually make a fairly decent wage, especially if living in the provinces where the cost of living is cheaper. Her story sounds rather fishy to me, frankly and it seems that perhaps you are the fish she has caught with it. Perhaps the "sponsor" is real or perhaps it is just a story to set the bar that she is hoping you will reach

probably close to the truth,smoke and mirrors thailand.

[teacup]

If you have to check her bank account, then there is no "trust" between U2, ....so I would say-your relationship is doomed from the start

Like 2 out of 3 marriages are doomed from the start in the west you mean ?

err....ja, u r a one smart farang

Yes, I know.....

It's something I've had to live with all my life.

and very "modest" too, if I may say so here

[Maigo6]

and very "modest" too, if I may say so here

Yes, you may say so.

And thankyou for your observation.

[junki3korean]

sorry Dont mean to sound rude..............BUT can`t a 40 yr old man figure out his shit on his own??? Especially your love life....

its pathetic sorry to say....do you expect people to understand your situation better then yourself??

what do you want! how the hel_l is our replies going to help??? What kind of advice are you seeking???

I know Loves stressful, But get a bottle of whiskey and figure this shit on your own!

CHOK DEE....hope it works out

[Maigo6]

sorry Dont mean to sound rude..............BUT can`t a 40 yr old man figure out his shit on his own??? Especially your love life....

its pathetic sorry to say....do you expect people to understand your situation better then yourself??

what do you want! how the hel_l is our replies going to help??? What kind of advice are you seeking???

I know Loves stressful, But get a bottle of whiskey and figure this shit on your own!

CHOK DEE....hope it works out

My posts aside, this is probably the most sensible post I have seen in a long time on ThaiVisa.

Edited March 5, 2009 by Maigo6