Difficulties Meeting Nice Girls In Thailand

[robee]

Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them.

I don't know quite what happened but a couple of weeks ago I suddenly had several 'dates' to go out with - maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. However, none of them have turned out to have much in the way of warmth or compassion. Contrast this with my previous Isaan girl - there is no comparison.

The best one was a girl I met at the bank. She comes from a fairly rich, educated family and speaks fluent English. She is not in the slightest bit "Thai" in her outlook. She has lived and studied abroad.

I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. We went to Sirocco restaurant at the top of State Tower. We had lots of nice days together. Last week she was talking of introducing me to her family. She started speaking about the future and including me in it.

But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me.

Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook.

Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad.

m o n e y

[waikhru]

you need to relax, take it easy.

when you find one you will find one you cant force these things.

you sound like any thai girl with a little decency will do.

this girls being a bitch so why do u still want her,however she may be playing the thai hard to get game to so back up a little.

thais hate it when you go to there workplace also.

[KhunDennis]

My ad vice, would be to take a deep breath, and go very slowly, be patient and respect full. You will have to be very discreet and not make her an item for gossip with her friends and co workers. That will be hard to do, most Thais I know love to speculate and gossip, as most of us do. Keep it light hearted, and don't go all mushy on her.

Maybe she is backing away, because she is feeling pressure from her mates, that can be a big turn off I think.

Take a honest look at your own motives, if it is just a roll in the hey you want, maybe best to leave it alone, and look in a different venue.

Geeze, I am starting to sound like Ann Landers

[bungy007]

Whatever you do show no weakness, women hate that. If she is being weird, give er some space and go out to play.

Life is too short to take crap.

Some people find love at first sight, some take years to find the right one and some never ever do.

Just enjoy life. It will probably come. Good luck

No weakness, remember!

Have to agree with the Texan on this. She's flexing her ability to control your life by using her moods to manipulate - do things her way and all is well and smilly, step out of line and operate under your own terms and its moody bint big time USA!

Go out and have some fun, don't call her until she calls you! It's very important for a woman to know who is the controlling force in a relationship. It's why most young totty go for bad boys who treat them like shit and then marry guys who remind them of their fathers.

You don't have to be heavy handed about this - the more light hearted you are about her antics (like a spoiled brat) the more you will both be able to keep an even keel yourself and win her back by making her realise that you are a man and not a pawn!

Good luck but remember you are well and truly in the driving seat out here as there are many beautiful women in need of a good man! 'Shop around' as the song says

[hnka]

Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them.

I don't know quite what happened but a couple of weeks ago I suddenly had several 'dates' to go out with - maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. However, none of them have turned out to have much in the way of warmth or compassion. Contrast this with my previous Isaan girl - there is no comparison.

The best one was a girl I met at the bank. She comes from a fairly rich, educated family and speaks fluent English. She is not in the slightest bit "Thai" in her outlook. She has lived and studied abroad.

I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. We went to Sirocco restaurant at the top of State Tower. We had lots of nice days together. Last week she was talking of introducing me to her family. She started speaking about the future and including me in it.

But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me.

Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook.

Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad.

Seriously she getting pissed because you incorrectly spelled her name??? Ans she not liking you coming to her office with a basket of fruits??....hmmm, something definitely wrong with her!

If she continues to play hard to get.....DITCH her. So many other fishes in the sea for heavens sake! So bloody petty!!!!....sheeeeeshhhhhhhh!

Good luck!

[Heng]

Has this help group moved online (again)?

[TonySoprano]

If age truly does mean wisdom, then there is droves of information for the taking here.

[sbk]

Sounds like she's just not that into you.

[a2396]

TAWP, the problem is....for the kind of woman you're mentioning above...is where to find/meet them as a single, eligible farang...if you don't happen to be working in the same office as they do.

In my time living in BKK, I've tried various of the Thai-oriented dating web sites, and have rarely/almost never met any women there matching that general description.

Rather, you'll find lots of students, lots of "want you to support me's," nurses and medical staff for some reason...lots of Isaan women with no job or career or education, etc...

So if your friend feels there are too many eligible Thai women out there, you should ask her, where/how is SHE looking for eligible men... or how is she expecting them to find her!!!

Pretty much true. Nice girls in LOS don't usually mess with foreigners unless they need money. They don't want to get labeled as a "money grubbing farang slut" and ruin their chances of landing a suitable Thai partner in the future.

[Geekfreaklover]

TAWP, the problem is....for the kind of woman you're mentioning above...is where to find/meet them as a single, eligible farang...if you don't happen to be working in the same office as they do.

In my time living in BKK, I've tried various of the Thai-oriented dating web sites, and have rarely/almost never met any women there matching that general description.

Rather, you'll find lots of students, lots of "want you to support me's," nurses and medical staff for some reason...lots of Isaan women with no job or career or education, etc...

So if your friend feels there are too many eligible Thai women out there, you should ask her, where/how is SHE looking for eligible men... or how is she expecting them to find her!!!

Pretty much true. Nice girls in LOS don't usually mess with foreigners unless they need money. They don't want to get labeled as a "money grubbing farang slut" and ruin their chances of landing a suitable Thai partner in the future.

This is simply not true. But living in this country is a learning curve. Good luck.

[a2396]

TAWP, the problem is....for the kind of woman you're mentioning above...is where to find/meet them as a single, eligible farang...if you don't happen to be working in the same office as they do.

In my time living in BKK, I've tried various of the Thai-oriented dating web sites, and have rarely/almost never met any women there matching that general description.

Rather, you'll find lots of students, lots of "want you to support me's," nurses and medical staff for some reason...lots of Isaan women with no job or career or education, etc...

So if your friend feels there are too many eligible Thai women out there, you should ask her, where/how is SHE looking for eligible men... or how is she expecting them to find her!!!

Pretty much true. Nice girls in LOS don't usually mess with foreigners unless they need money. They don't want to get labeled as a "money grubbing farang slut" and ruin their chances of landing a suitable Thai partner in the future.

This is simply not true. But living in this country is a learning curve. Good luck.

True from what I have seen in four years here. Maybe if you a are some company exec or other high-status foreigner, or possibly univ student (also of equal status, age, etc), you might have some chance, but not a common situation.

[Ulysses G.]

TAWP, the problem is....for the kind of woman you're mentioning above...is where to find/meet them as a single, eligible farang...if you don't happen to be working in the same office as they do.

Pretty much true. Nice girls in LOS don't usually mess with foreigners unless they need money. They don't want to get labeled as a "money grubbing farang slut" and ruin their chances of landing a suitable Thai partner in the future.

This is simply not true.

Of course it is.

[Livinginexile]

TAWP, the problem is....for the kind of woman you're mentioning above...is where to find/meet them as a single, eligible farang...if you don't happen to be working in the same office as they do.

Pretty much true. Nice girls in LOS don't usually mess with foreigners unless they need money. They don't want to get labeled as a "money grubbing farang slut" and ruin their chances of landing a suitable Thai partner in the future.

This is simply not true.

Of course it is.

Yep, it's absolutely true

[TonySoprano]

you are speaking for yourselves only.

[Ulysses G.]

P.T. Barnum was certainly right.

[Geekfreaklover]

P.T Barnum. The freak show circus king. He took the siamese twins from Bangkok and toured them around the world.

I have no idea what this has to do with thread?

I am obviously missing something somewhere.

Explain please.

[Geekfreaklover]

TAWP, the problem is....for the kind of woman you're mentioning above...is where to find/meet them as a single, eligible farang...if you don't happen to be working in the same office as they do.

In my time living in BKK, I've tried various of the Thai-oriented dating web sites, and have rarely/almost never met any women there matching that general description.

Rather, you'll find lots of students, lots of "want you to support me's," nurses and medical staff for some reason...lots of Isaan women with no job or career or education, etc...

So if your friend feels there are too many eligible Thai women out there, you should ask her, where/how is SHE looking for eligible men... or how is she expecting them to find her!!!

Pretty much true. Nice girls in LOS don't usually mess with foreigners unless they need money. They don't want to get labeled as a "money grubbing farang slut" and ruin their chances of landing a suitable Thai partner in the future.

This is simply not true. But living in this country is a learning curve. Good luck.

True from what I have seen in four years here. Maybe if you a are some company exec or other high-status foreigner, or possibly univ student (also of equal status, age, etc), you might have some chance, but not a common situation.

Well. I'm almost a decade in Thailand. Most of the so called hi-so uni girls I know go out dancing at nightclubs and end up sleeping with Nigerians.

You don't need to be a company exec, just make some good shapes on the dancefloor, baby, and you are in.

[mahtin]

P.T Barnum. The freak show circus king. He took the siamese twins from Bangkok and toured them around the world.

I have no idea what this has to do with thread?

I am obviously missing something somewhere.

Explain please.

"There's a sucker born every minute" is a phrase often credited to P.T. Barnum (1810 – 1891), an American showman. It is generally taken to mean that there are (and always will be) a lot of gullible people in the world.

[Ijustwannateach]

Although I am not particularly in need of meeting 'nice women' in Thailand, I meet them all the time and they are interested- VERY interested-

May I make a few suggestions?

1. Have a job

2. Have a job involving Thai people

3. Have a job involving real Thai people, not people dependent on you or tourist-oriented people

4. Have a job which involves meeting new groups of people often

5. Be relatively close in age to your target group

6. Be socially functional

7. Be interested in long-term connections with those who date you (they are 'nice women,' after all); i.e., MARRIAGE.

Then you should have no problem.

[unforgiven]

I also totally disagree with another poster's suggestion to give her money...she will take this as a sign that she can be bought and may resent it. Money in the form of meaningful gifts is far more appropriate.

Good luck!

I really really appreciate your reply. I know it's not money she's after. She is the sort of girl who is really particular about manners and appearance.

I accept that I've made a stupid mistake in going to the office. Sadly I seem to have blown my chances. I have now written her a letter and I am planning to have it delivered to her desk tomorrow. Hopefully I might be able to rescue the relationship although I'm worried I might be comitting yet another faux pas by doing so. Do you think this is a good idea?

Thanks again Fore Man.

It makes you seem like a weekling.Don't contact her for a week,then call her and ask her out for dinner or a drink. Act as if nothing is wrong and don't mention the office thing. If see brings it up tell her you found out it was a mistake and you were unaware of the cultural error and you ment no harm ,then drop it but don't appologies.

[GungaDin]

edit: Nice girls in LOS don't usually mess with foreigners unless they need money. They don't want to get labeled as a "money grubbing farang slut" and ruin their chances of landing a suitable Thai partner in the future.

This is simply not true.

Of course it is.

Yep, it's absolutely true

I don't agree.

A lot of nice Thai girls are refugees from failed relationships with Thai men.

The common thread is Thai men don't show or have any sense of responsibility and are abusive.

They have heard that Farangs do take care of their partners, well, most of them do.

[apologies for stuffing up the Quotes]

[jfchandler]

I think the list below is a good one with accurate observations. Unfortunately, many of us, while meeting all the non-job criteria, don't meet the ones about working in settings with non-touristy Thai people, either because we're comfortable enough to have retired early or because people have work at home/work alone jobs. In those situations, it's difficult...

I will add, before I moved here, my very close Thai friends in the U.S. warned me of one thing in particular (and these were their words, not mine): be careful about Thai women, because most of them only will be interested in your money.

Now having been here some time, I must say, the warning from my friends has proven to be an accurate one -- not always... but quite often, in my experience.

Although I am not particularly in need of meeting 'nice women' in Thailand, I meet them all the time and they are interested- VERY interested-

May I make a few suggestions?

1. Have a job

2. Have a job involving Thai people

3. Have a job involving real Thai people, not people dependent on you or tourist-oriented people

4. Have a job which involves meeting new groups of people often

5. Be relatively close in age to your target group

6. Be socially functional

7. Be interested in long-term connections with those who date you (they are 'nice women,' after all); i.e., MARRIAGE.

Then you should have no problem.

[runner]

Why are there so many of these old guys in Thailand? Why don't you all just stay home.

[Ulysses G.]

edit: Nice girls in LOS don't usually mess with foreigners unless they need money. They don't want to get labeled as a "money grubbing farang slut" and ruin their chances of landing a suitable Thai partner in the future.

This is simply not true.

Of course it is.

Yep, it's absolutely true

I don't agree.

A lot of nice Thai girls are refugees from failed relationships with Thai men.

The common thread is Thai men don't show or have any sense of responsibility and are abusive.

They have heard that Farangs do take care of their partners, well, most of them do.

So they turn to farangs when they are desperate, but they prefer Thai men. They all say that like farangs better, but they are BSing.

[imaneggspurt]

Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them.

I don't know quite what happened but a couple of weeks ago I suddenly had several 'dates' to go out with - maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. However, none of them have turned out to have much in the way of warmth or compassion. Contrast this with my previous Isaan girl - there is no comparison.

The best one was a girl I met at the bank. She comes from a fairly rich, educated family and speaks fluent English. She is not in the slightest bit "Thai" in her outlook. She has lived and studied abroad.

I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. We went to Sirocco restaurant at the top of State Tower. We had lots of nice days together. Last week she was talking of introducing me to her family. She started speaking about the future and including me in it.

But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me.

Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook.

Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad.

She's on the rag mate, give at week and things will be back to normal

Thats funny sounds like an aussie agony aunt ! lol

[G54]

Why are there so many of these old guys in Thailand? Why don't you all just stay home.

Jealous are you?

[webfact]

Why are there so many of these old guys in Thailand? Why don't you all just stay home.

According to your question they haven't found the fountain of eternal youth yet! It seems to me you have and therefore will never getting old.

Bravo! You are a lucky man (or lady?)! I bow to you because you are superior as you seem to be "young"

Please enlighten me and give me the recipe!

Edited March 22, 2009 by webfact

[Heng]

Sounds like some folks are in need of a few nice and warm blanket generalizations to make themselves feel better.

"Of course they like you!" (Lots of my friends tell me, and I even checked on the internet to be sure.)

"And of course Thai man no good!" (She told me so herself, in fact so did her friend's Lek and Noi who are on their second and third marriages respectively.)

[imaneggspurt]

there's lots of fish in the sea!

Correct........,NEXT !

[mhan77]

party like a rock star in RCA