Time To Throw In The Towel With Thai Wife!

[1960apache]

I have been reading the board for a few years, and I thought I would never be one of those guys saying that the Thai woman I married 2 years ago, and was the perfect lady, has now become a greedy, nasty, disgusting woman with the ability to fly around the room on a broom.

I know, the same story, everything was going well until about 6 months ago, I started hearing and seeing changes for the worse. The comments about the friend who has a japanese sponsor who sends her 60-100,000 baht to sit around an do nothing, to the 34 year old thai lady who is a known butterfly, but has found a 60 year old guy from the UK to buy her a new toyota, and build a house (which is in her name)

I take responsibility for my adding to the equation of telling my wife, geez honey, things are bad in the US, I need to be careful with money, we need to wait to buy a house, condo, but the reality is, by US biz and holdings are doing better than ever etc. However, since I started this little sceme, my thai wife has been slowly slipping away, taking a little bit more clothes here and there, hanging out later with thai girlfriends near Suk and Asok late at night (may or may not be an infuence) and also, the talk has started about the "No money, no honey" theme, so I am actually glad I put her to the test!!

So, OK, it is time to cut my losses and lick my wounds and move on! Every day I meet decent hard working girls, and my wife also has a lot of great, single, not money greedy girls, but also, too many lazy vultures. I won't get into the nasty comments she has made about finding a rich falong, going to work in the bar and make her own money! (she works and makes about 10k baht, and I give her2-3000 baht for clothes, spa stuff, so I don't feel I was even being stingy, in addition, I always paid for everything)

The question is, how do I go about the divorce? As far as my wife knows, we have nothing of huge value to split up, she thinks the fridge and TV are sufficient (shows how I was thinking with the wrong head chosing someone so ignorant) Can't we just go peacefully to the Amphur where we filed the marriage?

As far as my Visa to stay here, is about up for renewal in 3 months, and from what I read, the 1 year visa's have come to an end.

Also, I have applied for her to get a USA, VISA, which we started about a year ago, so I need to cancel that, and how am I going to look if I find another foreign lady somewhere else in the World down the road?

Anyway, no use going on and on, you all get the point, I guess I just need to actually say it! The last thing I want to do is have to explain to my family and friends, how the wife I have been bragging about is now turned into a money grubbing ho? Doesn't make me look to bright!

Well, chime in a few thoughts. Mostly the quickest way to get the divorce over, and idea's on visa alternatives! I have kind of looked into the education type visa's, but not sure how that would apply due to the visa I have now.

I am just plain run down and worn out from all this BS, I just want to get her out of my life and move on!

[BigSnake]

It is sad to say and very few farangs are willing(to ASHAME) to admit that once lovely loving lady and turn into one that is nasty and greedy, jealous and wants to one up on here girl friends

Edited March 25, 2009 by sbk

[gpdjohn]

Man, I can feel for you. I too, once had the broom flying variety.

If both parties are willing, a quick trip to the Amphur is all that's required. Sign a few forms and waaa la,

free man.

Hey, we all make mistakes...we're human ya know.

Good luck and god speed.

[caf]

She is unlikely to agree a divorce at the amphur unless she gets some money. Obviously be very careful. Get your assets offshore and don't let her see any records you may have. Ensure she does not have your bank details. She can get ( though not legally) details of your assets from them.

[middelman]

Ba aware that some countries recognises Thai marriages but no Thai divorces. You better find out before getting in deep dark trouble

[1960apache]

I am not too worried about the assets part, I really have nothing here, and have had very little money coming in to the Thai bank accounts. I have dwindled the money coming in to a level to just get by. I guess I read too many post's about "testing your thai lady" I guess she just plain failed. I guess it comes down to "don't play the player" this has not been my first rodeo with women!! I guess I always wonder what a girls real intentions are. Once I started to see the signs, I really kind of played up the situation being dismal, to see if she just shrugs her shoulders and says, "we will get by" or would she start hunting for a new walking ATM machine!! Which she seems to be clearly doing the later!

So hopefully, she will also just want to get on with her life! I just want to move quickly before she disappears.

But, I am actually thinking, that I may be better off to just disappear myself, and eventually, she will have to dissolve the divorce on here own, due to me not being in Thailand!

I guess I really have no intentions of getting married again after this! Just stay together with someone, and when it goes sour, just move on without all the paperwork and legal issues. So I guess that could be my plan "B", get out while I still have a shirt on my back?? Any thoughts on that route??

[Lite Beer]

As this is not really Visa Related I have moved it to General.

[dave111223]

You marry a bargirl, what do you expect...

[webfact]

Have you registered your marriage with your embassy? If so, I would contact them first rather than disappear...

[thaimate]

You marry a bargirl, what do you expect...

i feel sorry for you and your troubles ,especially as i have a treasure of a wife ,who never wants anything(except shoes) how can a woman need so many? i also have many friends who have great wives and have been married donkeys years like me (one was a bar girl) but as Dave said ,non to kindly ,if you marry a poor bar girl then 9 times out of ten its going to be trouble.

would you marry a hooker in your own country?

[Shotime]

Pack your bags, get out of Thailand, never return, and stay away from women of all kinds for at least one year. She will not look for you, and neither will the Thai government. Never tell anyone else your story. She will forget you and soon as she realizes you're out of the reaches of her claws, she'll forget she ever knew you. Believe me, she's not that bright.

[dave2]

1960apache.

quote .... But, I am actually thinking, that I may be better off to just disappear myself, and eventually, she will have to dissolve the divorce on here own, due to me not being in Thailand!

I guess I really have no intentions of getting married again after this! Just stay together with someone, and when it goes sour, just move on

if i was in your position i think i would cut my losses , pack only what you HAVE to into two bags while shes out

and leave !

and never go back.

she will be #issed off and wondering what happend to you or if your coming back for months or years .

and you will be happier

good luck man .... dave2

[webfact]

Yeah Good Luck to you man, but always keep on thing in mind - Thais have an elephant's brain, specially woman . Even after years being incommunicado they might remember you

[patklang]

Good luck in whatever decision you make.

Lucky you didnt marry a middleclass/hi-so Bangkokian,now she would have bled you dry and spit you out.

OOPS i forgot the lovely ex university graduate too,who freelance to get their money for education.

[imaneggspurt]

I made the same mistake, mine wasnt a bar girl but probably worse !,. i had to get out of it and give her 300.000 baht, best money i ever spent,. i now have a beautiful thai wife of 8 years and a 6 year old daughter, NOT all thai women are the same, just take your time and be more selective, ( i wish i had the first time ) . good luck,.

[thaihome]

Have you registered your marriage with your embassy? If so, I would contact them first rather than disappear...

For Americans there is no registering the marriage at the Embassy.

The OP has two choices which he has already figured out.

Just leave the country. This is the easiest, but since he has a legal marriage he will not be able to marry again, a likely scenario some time in the future despite his protestations to the contrary. If he does this, there is little his wife can do about it, and eventually if she wishes t marry again will have to wait out the abandonment time (3 years?) and then get the divorce herself. This is an easy, short term, rather selfish, solution.

Get her to go to Amphur and divorce. He will likely have to make a cash settlement with her to get her to go along. Would offer a couple of hundred thousand baht, which it appears he can afford. Get her to sign contract that this is only payment she will ever get. This is the best route, but not the easiest or most pleasant, but certainly the cleanest and best long term solution.

TH

[dominique355]

Obviously, the most critical problem is the Visa situation. Is your visa based on being married to a Thai national? If yes, I guess there is no way to renew it after divorce.

Your options are then retirement visa (if you are 50 or older), or student visa. Unless, of course, you have a working permit.

I would not simply disappear, because you never know if one day you want to come back to Thailand and then might have problems.

If she thinks you have no assets, she may well agree to an amicable divorce and then you can make a clean cut.

Good luck to you.

[Orac]

If the decision is made I would get yourself somewhere else to stay before having it out with her - I doubt she will let this go easily without a fight/money. Though you may be able to just vainish if you don't sort this out now you may always be looking over your shoulder particularly since I assume from yr visa questions you are looking to stay in Thailand. Nobody knows what the future will bring and imagine in a few years time when circumstances have changed and you are settled down with a new lady and assets of some sort (house/condo etc) and your WIFE turns up looking for her cut then.

[thaihome]

Obviously, the most critical problem is the Visa situation. Is your visa based on being married to a Thai national? If yes, I guess there is no way to renew it after divorce.

Your options are then retirement visa (if you are 50 or older), or student visa. Unless, of course, you have a working permit.

I would not simply disappear, because you never know if one day you want to come back to Thailand and then might have problems.

If she thinks you have no assets, she may well agree to an amicable divorce and then you can make a clean cut.

Good luck to you.

The visa is the easiest to fix. All he has to do is go back to the US once a year and get a multi entry Non-Imm (there are several honorary consulates that are accommodating in this), and then all he has to do leave the country every 90 days.

This guy does not seem to be poor, though he appears to have spent considerable effort into convincing his wife he is.

TH

[Pakeha]

i have a treasure of a wife ,who never wants anything(except shoes) how can a woman need so many?

Our wives must be sisters! What on earth does one woman need 50 pairs of shoes for?

[wayfarer108]

Under Thai divorce law, you do not need her signature or permission to register a divorce. It's best to hire a lawyer to do it for you, otherwise the district will ask all manner of questions. There will be a court authorisation but it's usually straightforward.

Edited March 25, 2009 by wayfarer108

[webfact]

i have a treasure of a wife ,who never wants anything(except shoes) how can a woman need so many?

Our wives must be sisters! What on earth does one woman need 50 pairs of shoes for?

Ask Imelda Marcos. She will have the answer you are looking for...

[robbiecia]

1 Tell her you want a divorce.

2 When she asks for money, tell her you only have a small amount left.

3 When she rejects the offer of a small amount, tell her you will leave Thailand and never come back.

4 She will accept the small amount.

5 Divorce at the ampur, and be careful what you sign (take someone with you who can read Thai)

Good luck to you

[Geekfreaklover]

Obviously, the most critical problem is the Visa situation. Is your visa based on being married to a Thai national? If yes, I guess there is no way to renew it after divorce.

Your options are then retirement visa (if you are 50 or older), or student visa. Unless, of course, you have a working permit.

I would not simply disappear, because you never know if one day you want to come back to Thailand and then might have problems.

If she thinks you have no assets, she may well agree to an amicable divorce and then you can make a clean cut.

Good luck to you.

The visa is the easiest to fix. All he has to do is go back to the US once a year and get a multi entry Non-Imm (there are several honorary consulates that are accommodating in this), and then all he has to do leave the country every 90 days.

This guy does not seem to be poor, though he appears to have spent considerable effort into convincing his wife he is.

TH

Your VISA if based on marriage will be VOID THE DAY YOU DIVORCE. not when you next have to report in to immigration. So you will have to go to immigration before you divorve and apply for a new visa type or get out of the country the day you divorce. Not very practical. Proably best to pop over the border a couple of days before you divorce and return with an entry stamp. I found this little rule out the hard way when I divorced and ended up paying a fine.

If I was you I wouldn't divorce. I reckon you hold all the cards in this one.

You are probably better off just packing a toothbrush, some tooth paste a flannnel and geting out of Thailand or visit another part (least three provinces away). Thats what most Thai blokes (who have a break up) do, and then then just not agree to the divorce for three years and she can then divorce on the grounds of abdonment after the three years are up. The nice bit if you are feeling particulary nasty is that you will know that she can not marry a rich farang if she finds one - as she is already married to you! -

Edited March 25, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[Heng]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

[Birdman]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Why did you not tell him before? Maybe this is all he has. What are you doing if he insists to stay?

Edited March 25, 2009 by Birdman

[Pierrot]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Do you feel ok with that ?

[Neeranam]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Do you feel ok with that ?

Do you think any Thais care about anything rather than money in Pataya?

[SoiGirlHunter]

OP,

Tell her you are going to the mall to buy her a 10 baht gold chain, then as quicky as possible JUMP ON THE NEXT PLANE TO CAMBODIA!!

Mint girls there, easy visa etc

But DO NOT get married again

This is my Plan B BTW

good luck

SGH

[SoiGirlHunter]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

So Heng your family is in the "Fleecing the Farang" business too, are u Thai by any wild chance?