Time To Throw In The Towel With Thai Wife!

[thetitan99]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

I guess you've never heard of the phrase "Bro's before Hoe's". Why don't you just give him his property back? Since it's his I mean...

[a2396]

Glad to see some folks have got the fortitude here to tell the truth about their relationships, sad as it may be. However, this one sounds like a problem in the making, if she was travelling in the bar scene. If you were only giving her 2-3,000 bht per mo, obviously that's not enough. Did you pay sin sot & how much? You also mention a big problem and that is the foreign idiots who send exorbitant amonts of money to these women for monthly "maintanence", when they (the man) doesn't even live here. It sets an expectation, with many of thes local women, that they should also be getting the same.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

It is sad to say and very few farangs are willing(to ASHAME) to admit that once lovely loving lady and turn into one that is nasty and greedy, jealous and wants to one up on here girl friends

Typically they don't turn into one, they already are one. They just hide it better and have relatively a lot of patience.

[samuibeachcomber]

"when the music's over" imo you have to be very careful in how you exit,some thai ladies can go beserk,and become threatening and dangerous.

As others have advised,disappear quietly,and keep your health.

[Sheryl]

I would not recommend the disappearance without divorce route. Cannot assume she will ever divorce you, legal formalities do not carry as much weight in this culture as in the west especially among less educated people. She may well go her own way and perhaps even marry again without bothering to divorce you. And still being legally married to her could cause you problems in the future. Just to give an example (and one I have known to happen): she could subsequently have a child by someone else and list you, her legal husband, as the father (if say that relationship also had fizzled out) and establishing otherwise would then be a real hassle for you.

plus, although it is obviously the last thing on your mind now, you may someday want to remarry.

It doesn't sound like getting divorced is at all hard, and also sounds like she's on the verge of bolting anyhow. You just need to sort out the logistics in terms of visa.

[samuibeachcomber]

good advice but once the "cat is out of the bag"there's no turning back from the consequences should it become messy,only the the OP knows what might happen and even then they(thai ladies)can be very unpredictable.

After 3 years cant the OP file for divorce?

As for being named a father of a child from a future marraige gone wrong,how would she find him to make such a claim,and in any event he could contest it with a DNA test surely.

[wasabi]

I would first try to get her to go to the Amphur and divorce. However I would first have all my bags packed, and a plane ticket dated the next day. I'd make an offer which she will at first refuse wanting more. Than tell her you are simply going to leave. She either will accept the money or be stubborn. This way at least you tried and can honestly state that you did if it comes up in the future. I was married before but it didn't turn into a nightmare. It was always a nightmare I just refused to heed the warning signs as I was blinded by the thrill of having a 'Thai Wife'. I think the most important thing is once she knows you want a divorce you need to be prepared to make a very hasty exit in case she throws a fit. Don't forget it's a major face losing occurrence for a woman to divorce in Thailand even if she has it coming.

[a2396]

good advice but once the "cat is out of the bag"there's no turning back from the consequences should it become messy,only the the OP knows what might happen and even then they(thai ladies)can be very unpredictable.

After 3 years cant the OP file for divorce?

As for being named a father of a child from a future marraige gone wrong,how would she find him to make such a claim,and in any event he could contest it with a DNA test surely.

Until such time as a DNA test makes "proof positive", he will have to pay up and who knows how long various unwilling parties can drag out expeditious DNA testing. There may be some means of filing a legal separation document, until such time as he is divorced. Not a good idea to get legally married here in the first place. Many Thais don't even do this. But, if he wanted to take her to USA, he had no choice.

[SiamSuzi]

Tell her one of your family members is in the hospital back home and you need to help them so she has to get 2 jobs, one morning and one evening, and work at least 6 days per week to help your family member, and that the two of you will also have to move to the cheapest housing possible, and no more spa trips, only dirt cheap food to eat, etc....

Maybe she will come up with the divorce idea on her own.

[TonySoprano]

Atleast Heng did not use his standard at the end of the post.

The husband did not have to also sign the loan contract?

Edited March 25, 2009 by TonySoprano

[IMA_FARANG]

I have been reading the board for a few years, and I thought I would never be one of those guys saying that the Thai woman I married 2 years ago, and was the perfect lady, has now become a greedy, nasty, disgusting woman with the ability to fly around the room on a broom.

I know, the same story, everything was going well until about 6 months ago, I started hearing and seeing changes for the worse. The comments about the friend who has a japanese sponsor who sends her 60-100,000 baht to sit around an do nothing, to the 34 year old thai lady who is a known butterfly, but has found a 60 year old guy from the UK to buy her a new toyota, and build a house (which is in her name)

I take responsibility for my adding to the equation of telling my wife, geez honey, things are bad in the US, I need to be careful with money, we need to wait to buy a house, condo, but the reality is, by US biz and holdings are doing better than ever etc. However, since I started this little sceme, my thai wife has been slowly slipping away, taking a little bit more clothes here and there, hanging out later with thai girlfriends near Suk and Asok late at night (may or may not be an infuence) and also, the talk has started about the "No money, no honey" theme, so I am actually glad I put her to the test!!

So, OK, it is time to cut my losses and lick my wounds and move on! Every day I meet decent hard working girls, and my wife also has a lot of great, single, not money greedy girls, but also, too many lazy vultures. I won't get into the nasty comments she has made about finding a rich falong, going to work in the bar and make her own money! (she works and makes about 10k baht, and I give her2-3000 baht for clothes, spa stuff, so I don't feel I was even being stingy, in addition, I always paid for everything)

The question is, how do I go about the divorce? As far as my wife knows, we have nothing of huge value to split up, she thinks the fridge and TV are sufficient (shows how I was thinking with the wrong head chosing someone so ignorant) Can't we just go peacefully to the Amphur where we filed the marriage?

As far as my Visa to stay here, is about up for renewal in 3 months, and from what I read, the 1 year visa's have come to an end.

Also, I have applied for her to get a USA, VISA, which we started about a year ago, so I need to cancel that, and how am I going to look if I find another foreign lady somewhere else in the World down the road?

Anyway, no use going on and on, you all get the point, I guess I just need to actually say it! The last thing I want to do is have to explain to my family and friends, how the wife I have been bragging about is now turned into a money grubbing ho? Doesn't make me look to bright!

Well, chime in a few thoughts. Mostly the quickest way to get the divorce over, and idea's on visa alternatives! I have kind of looked into the education type visa's, but not sure how that would apply due to the visa I have now.

I am just plain run down and worn out from all this BS, I just want to get her out of my life and move on!

[Dakhar]

If American, some states allow for divorce based upon abandoment.

www.syl.com/articles/howtogetadivorceandabandonmentdivorce.html

Just say she was suposed to come meet you in the states and never did.

[Heng]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Why did you not tell him before? Maybe this is all he has. What are you doing if he insists to stay?

Mostly because a title deed/chanote has nothing to do with whoever is living in the property. Anyway, this knowledge came after the fact as far as I know. You might be aware that some 'mia falang' types never say that this is the only property on the planet they own and that they don't have their husbands consent... but they will often instead act like "this is a short time bridge loan because their multi-million $ net a year business is a bit short this month."

I believe he has the opportunity to purchase this property (again) or lease it short/long term. He's of age so I think a short to medium term contract is in the works.

[Heng]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Do you feel ok with that ?

Such is life... actions (including lack of forethought) come with consequences.

[Heng]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Do you feel ok with that ?

Do you think any Thais care about anything rather than money in Pataya?

As long as he has more than 35k a month, he'll be fine.

[Heng]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

So Heng your family is in the "Fleecing the Farang" business too, are u Thai by any wild chance?

No more so than any bank or financial institution. You may as well point the finger at the atm's at the supermarket for running up your grocery bill.

The client in question apparently is in that business, although given the type, IMO any nationality or racial group could be in her target market. And yes, Thai.

Edited March 25, 2009 by Heng

[Heng]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

I guess you've never heard of the phrase "Bro's before Hoe's". Why don't you just give him his property back? Since it's his I mean...

Well, in this case he's not my 'bro,' nor is she my 'ho' for that matter. And either way, it's not my call. I do believe those whose choice it is offered the house to him at less than the current value of the house (out of pity and because the interest already paid is about equal to the property value) for outright sale and at a negotiable market rate if he wanted to lease.

Anyhoo, I brought it up because this type of thing while not extremely common, it's a garden variety occurence.

[Neeranam]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Do you feel ok with that ?

Do you think any Thais care about anything rather than money in Pataya?

As long as he has more than 35k a month, he'll be fine.

Why that figure?

In my experience, nothing is ever enough for Thais, especially the one's mixed with Chinese or those in Pattaya.

[Dakhar]

Sad I am

[DP25]

Why that figure?

In my experience, nothing is ever enough for Thais, especially the one's mixed with Chinese or those in Pattaya.

It's a delicate line. Taking advantage of his current state in which his wife left him, he lost his house, and has no where to go, and not pricing it so high he'll go home.

[samuibeachcomber]

Why that figure?

In my experience, nothing is ever enough for Thais, especially the one's mixed with Chinese or those in Pattaya.

It's a delicate line. Taking advantage of his current state in which his wife left him, he lost his house, and has no where to go, and not pricing it so high he'll go home.

how many times have people said(for farang)once you buy land and house for your thai wife its hers not yours.you are really giving money away,if you can afford to do this,fine,but otherwise its just a dumb thing to do,if the relationship goes bad.

[MiG16]

lets keep the discussion back on topic per the OP shall we

[Sabum]

But Heng is so much more interesting.

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Do you feel ok with that ?

Such is life... actions (including lack of forethought) come with consequences.

Right, as long as there are "human beings" like you around to take advantage of a mans lack of forethought when he's already being vicitimised by his thieving wife... How dare he make the mistake of trusting a loved one, that will teach him eh? Good for you for giving him this painful lesson, he obviously deserves it. He's the kind of scum this world doesnt need right? He should have had the forethought to not love and trust his WIFE.

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

I like siam suzi's idea. Put it together that she is going to have to support you for a while until your (insert relative of your choice) straightens out. She will be asking you for a divorce in no time.

Tell her OK if she pays for it and gives you a few thousand for a plane ticket home. Wrap a bit of onion in a hankie so you can shed a couple of tears at the appropriate .

Good Luck whichever way you go.

[Dakhar]

I like siam suzi's idea. Put it together that she is going to have to support you for a while until your (insert relative of your choice) straightens out. She will be asking you for a divorce in no time.

Tell her OK if she pays for it and gives you a few thousand for a plane ticket home. Wrap a bit of onion in a hankie so you can shed a couple of tears at the appropriate .

Good Luck whichever way you go.

Yes I like this too....

[t.s]

I like siam suzi's idea. Put it together that she is going to have to support you for a while until your (insert relative of your choice) straightens out. She will be asking you for a divorce in no time.

Tell her OK if she pays for it and gives you a few thousand for a plane ticket home. Wrap a bit of onion in a hankie so you can shed a couple of tears at the appropriate .

Good Luck whichever way you go.

Yes I like this too....

I cant see why heng is at fault. if the wife had mortgaged the property with a bank (no other signature required because it is in her name) and defaulted on the loan, would the bank feel the owe the farang a living?

a loanshark is a loanshark, they would just as happily have had it if it were her money that paid for it. he has stated in the past he has some pawn shops, it is his business. feeling sorry for the guy after the fact doesn't even come into it.

this is a chance you take when you put something in somebody elses name the world over. it is not a thai farang thing

Edited March 25, 2009 by t.s

[JimsKnight]

Do the right thing OP and get the fck out of dodge she sounds bad news.

The grass is greener in pastures anew...

Edited March 25, 2009 by JimsKnight

[Misplaced]

But Heng is so much more interesting.

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Do you feel ok with that ?

Such is life... actions (including lack of forethought) come with consequences.

Right, as long as there are "human beings" like you around to take advantage of a mans lack of forethought when he's already being vicitimised by his thieving wife... How dare he make the mistake of trusting a loved one, that will teach him eh? Good for you for giving him this painful lesson, he obviously deserves it. He's the kind of scum this world doesnt need right? He should have had the forethought to not love and trust his WIFE.

You are so quick to judged. May be the British man was cheating on his wife, so she took revenged on him. We'll never know will we?.

I can't see why you would fault Heng for TCB. It's not his job to ask or informed his client of what is/was/will transpired. As such, business is business.

[SoiGirlHunter]

>>>You are so quick to judged. May be the British man was cheating on his wife, so she took revenged on him

No justification to steal a house

Sorry but 2 wongs dont make a white....

[thithi]

that is why we have to make sure ... very sure that someone who we are gonna marry wif is the very right one.