Jai Dee Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 name='Jai Dee' date='2006-07-25 11:31:44' post='823646'f) Dropbear? I recall seeing a comprehensive report about the infamous Dropbear... one of the most dangerous marsupials native only to Australia. Anyone got a copy of this article? It'd be good to share with potential visitors/tourists to Oz. Try this one: http://www.ozemail.com.au/~enigman/dropbear.html That's the one Axel... thanks mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Must be nearly time to give the sheepshaggers a burst and give godsown a well deserved beer break LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Two Auckland chicks walk up to a perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it. "That's quite nice, don't you fink Trace?" "Yeah, what's it called?" "Viens a moi" "VIENS A MOI, what the <deleted> does that mean?" At this stage the assistant offers some help. "Viens a moi, ladies is French for 'come to me'" Sharon takes another sniff and offers her arm to Tracey again, saying, "That doesn't smell like come to me Trace. Does it smell like come to you?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Why can't Kiwi blokes take their girlfriends to the Rugby? They eat all the grass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Why aren't there any Kiwis on Star Trek? They don't work in the future either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Maori Style A Maori goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a prostitute. He asks her, "How much do you charge for the hour?" $100," she replies. So he asks, "Okay do you do Maori style?" She says "No!" He then asks her, "I'll pay you $200 to do Maori style?" She again says no, not knowing what Maori style is! So he then offers her $300. Again she declines his offer. So finally he says, "I'll give you $500 to go Maori style with me" Finally she agrees thinking, "Well I've been in the game for over 10 years now, I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from weirdo's from every corner of the world. How bad could Maori style be?" So she goes ahead and has sex with the bro, doing it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after 8 intense hours of the best nookie she'd ever experienced, the Maori finishes. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "That was wonderful. I've never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and crass. Where does the 'Maori style' come in?" The Bro replies..............."I'll pay you tomorrow!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 More Maori Style Everyday, a hen owned by a maori man would lay an egg in his garden which was used his daily breakfast. One day, he looked into his garden only to find that the hen laid her egg next door in the Samoan’s garden. He was about to go next door when saw the Samoan rush out of the house to pick up the egg for himself. The Maori ran up to the Samoan and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Samoan disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Maori said, “ In Aotearoa we normally solve disputes by the following method. I kick you in the nuts and time how long it takes you to get back up, and then you kick me in the nuts and time how long it takes me to get up. Whoever gets up the quickest wins the egg. The Samoan thought for a moment and noticed that the Maori was only wearing barefeet. He then looked at his own feet, which boasted a shiny pair of new Nike Basketball boots. He quickly agreed to resolve the dispute, “Maori Style”. The Maori took a few steps back and kicked the Samoan in the balls as hard as he could. The Samoan fell to the ground clutching himself and howled in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually, the Samoan stood up and said; “Now it’s my turn to kick you.” The Maori shrugged his shoulders and said, “Nahh, you can keep the egg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Q. Why do Kiwis put sheep on a cliff's edge? A. Cause they pushback harder Q. Why do Kiwi's wear gumboots? A. To put the back legs of their sheep into so they don't run away Q. Why do Kiwi horses run so fast? A. They have seen what happens to the sheep Q. Why do Kiwis call the all their sheep Arty? A. Cum arty cum arty cum arty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 The QANTAS-Air New Zealand merger... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuchok Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 The QANTAS-Air New Zealand merger... the sheep is prolly a ram........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 The Lord is Merciful, The Lord is Good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 The QANTAS-Air New Zealand merger... the sheep is prolly a ram........ Up yours <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 One more for the road... Q. What is the difference between a Limousine and a sheep? A. Not all Kiwis have been in a Limousine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuchok Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 The QANTAS-Air New Zealand merger... the sheep is prolly a ram........ Up yours i think the roo was doing something like that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 yer all at suxes and sivens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 The New Zealand All Blacks in action... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 The New Zealand All Blacks in action... I always knew that they were a bunch or girlies LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 No joke - a feral pig shot in outback Australia. It reportedly took 8 .303 slugs to the body and 10 .303 slugs to the head before it finally died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artisi Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Now - that's a real dinky-di pig - non of this wimpy piglet stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuchok Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 The New Zealand All Blacks in action... I always knew that they were a bunch or girlies LOL well then the girlies just wipped your <deleted> in the last two Test matches. Next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooo Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Subject: Fw: What it means to be Australian >> >> >> >> >> >>Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for >> >>A Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a >> >>Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch >> >>American shows on a Japanese TV. >> >> >> >>Oh and...... Only in Australia . can a pizza get to your house >> >>Faster than an ambulance. >> >> >> >>Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the >> >>Way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy >> >>People can buy cigarettes at the front. >> >> >> >>Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large >> >>Fries and a DIET coke. >> >> >> >>Only in Australia . do banks leave both doors open and chain the >> >>Pens to the counters. >> >> >> >>Only in Australian ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on >> >>the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. >> >> >> >>Only in Australia . do we use answering machines to screen calls >> >>And then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we >> >>didn't want to talk to in the first place. >> >> >> >>Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in front of a >> >>skating rink. >> >> >> >>NOT TO MENTION... >> >> >> >>3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their >> >>tongue. >> >>142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new >> >>shirts. >> >>58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of >> >>screwdrivers. >> >>31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree >> >>While the fairy lights were plugged in. >> >>8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit >> >>cigarette in their mouth. >> >>A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two >> >>Years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. >> >> >> >>and finally......... >> >>In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the >> >>toilet. >> >> >> >>IF YOU'RE PROUD TO BE AUSTRALIAN SEND THIS ON! >> >> > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas treeWhile the fairy lights were plugged in. This one gave the game away!!! C'mon Roo admit it, you changed Americans to Aussies didn't you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooo Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 Oh OK you got me lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted August 10, 2006 Share Posted August 10, 2006 Oh OK you got me lol. Shoot the bugger Tuky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 An Aussi bloke went to his mate's fancy dress party wearing nothing but a naked girl on his back. "So what the hel_l are you supposed to be?" the host asked. "I'm a snail," the man replied. "What a load of rubbish!" the host said. "How can you be a snail when all you've got is that naked girl on your back?" "That's not a naked girl, mate," the bloke replied, "that's Michelle". OK OK... I can hear the groans already... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rai! Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Being a proud queenslander, who I might add is very proud to have the state of origin back in our hands knows that there is only one good thing about NSW. It seperates us from those bloody Victorians Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippybangkok Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Being a proud queenslander, who I might add is very proud to have the state of origin back in our hands knows that there is only one good thing about NSW. It seperates us from those bloody Victorians Must be one of Elite QLD-ers - he can spel ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Being a proud queenslander, who I might add is very proud to have the state of origin back in our hands knows that there is only one good thing about NSW. It seperates us from those bloody Victorians Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Oh OK you got me lol. Shoot the bugger Tuky You reckon I'd make a good roo shooter Doc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuchok Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Oh OK you got me lol. Shoot the bugger Tuky You reckon I'd make a good roo shooter Doc? they were prolly shagged to death...poor buggers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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