Getting Married In The Sticks!

[poolcleaner]

The missus has floated the idea of getting married in her local village next year and I'm a little concerned.

Does anyone have some advice and related experiences to tying the knot in the bush?

ie The ceremony.

Expectations of the 'Sacrificial Farang'

Time frame of the whole event.

Useful methods to avoid killing someone.

How to stay sober

Being stuck in a tiny village for too long will drive me nuts but I guess it's unavoidable.

[Harmonica]

>>>>>>Does anyone have some advice and related experiences to tying the knot in the bush?<<<<<<

Painful -- don't do it!

[Totster]

I got married in deepest Isaan a couple of months ago....

ie The ceremony.

screaming shouting, touching, chanting, white string, an egg, people giving you money... oh and the dowry...

    Expectations of the 'Sacrificial Farang'

None... your farang, what do you know... just smile, dance and have a good time..

    Time frame of the whole event.

Our ceremony started at approx 0900hrs and was finished around 10.30hrs if I remember correctly... then the real party started... drinking carried on till sometime the next day..

    Useful methods to avoid killing someone.

.... can't say I ever worried about that .... but if that's your personality well.....

    How to stay sober

won't happen....

Being stuck in a tiny village for too long will drive me nuts but I guess it's unavoidable.

not unavoidable... it's up to you... but I will say, it's the best thing I ever did, the best day(s) I have EVER had... give it a go. I have been in the village now for 2 months, couln't imagine being anywhere else.

If you have any more questions ( I've kept it leart hearted as that was the way the OP was started ) maybe in a more serious way then feel free to contact me or post here...

totster

[Spee]

My own wrong opinion ....

The missus has floated the idea of getting married in her local village next year and I'm a little concerned.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Can you be a bit more specific on what your concerns are?

Does anyone have some advice and related experiences to tying the knot in the bush?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Can't speak for wedding ceremony, but you can see my recent posts and pictures from my house blessing ceremony. Different ceremony for sure, but many of the same processes, responsibilities, expectations and experiences are involved.

    Expectations of the 'Sacrificial Farang'

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why do you view yourself as a "Sacrificial Farang?" Have you been to the village? Do the people know you and like you? Do your missus' relatives know you and like you? If these answers are yes, then you shouldn't have too much to worry about. It would be a good time and a memorable experience.

    Useful methods to avoid killing someone.

    How to stay sober

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May seem strange but these kind of go together. First off, if you are looking at your wedding ceremony as an excuse to go on a bender and get hammered for a couple of days, then perhaps you have the wrong thoughts. At the party after your ceremony, people will ask you to share a drink with them for luck, but your real obligation is to stay fairly sober and make sure all of your guests are getting enough to eat and drink and they are having a good time. That is not to say that you should stay totally dry, but getting drunk isn't the objective.

So if you are fulfilling your obligation of being a good host and making sure that everyone has enough to eat and drink and is having a good time, then everyone will like you and come to respect you, and you almost surely won't have any problems.

Being stuck in a tiny village for too long will drive me nuts but I guess it's unavoidable.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No disrespect to you, but I think this is the wrong attitude. If you are marrying a traditional Thai lady who still has strong ties back to her home village and her family and friends there, then you are also marrying the family and all the Thai culture that goes with her and them.

These are people and things that you should at least become acquainted with, and if you cannot bring yourself to accept them and like them, then at least you should become tolerant and respectful of them. Doing either will make your time in the village much more enjoyable and relaxing. If you are unable to do either, then perhaps you should reconsider whether or not this is the right step for you.

Chok dee!!

[Totster]

    Useful methods to avoid killing someone.

    How to stay sober

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May seem strange but these kind of go together. First off, if you are looking at your wedding ceremony as an excuse to go on a bender and get hammered for a couple of days, then perhaps you have the wrong thoughts. At the party after your ceremony, people will ask you to share a drink with them for luck, but your real obligation is to stay fairly sober and make sure all of your guests are getting enough to eat and drink and they are having a good time. That is not to say that you should stay totally dry, but getting drunk isn't the objective.

So if you are fulfilling your obligation of being a good host and making sure that everyone has enough to eat and drink and is having a good time, then everyone will like you and come to respect you, and you almost surely won't have any problems.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

He he..Spee, during our wedding people were pretty much forcing me ( although didn't have to try too hard ) to drink lao kao with them, so much so that I had to go and hide in the house so that I didn't get paraletic...

regarding fulfilling your obligation of being a good host... It is my understanding that it is the partents that are the hosts, they keep the drink and food coming for the guests... I have been to 3 weddings in my wifes village now, and this is the way I see it, maybe it differs in other areas..

totster

[Spee]

He he..Spee, during our wedding people were pretty much forcing me ( although didn't have to try too hard ) to drink lao kao with them

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Same, same me at the house thing-ee. I turned down 10 for every 1 that I took. I said "im lair-o" and "mao lair-o" quite a bit that night.

regarding fulfilling your obligation of being a good host... It is my understanding that it is the partents that are the hosts, they keep the drink and food coming for the guests... I have been to 3 weddings in my wifes village now, and this is the way I see it, maybe it differs in other areas.. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Understood where that could be the case. When mine comes, my fiancee's dad is dead, her mum has no money, and the gig will be done at our new place. So I guess my thinking was a bit one-sided.

Cheers!

[jayenram]

The missus has floated the idea of getting married in her local village next year and I'm a little concerned.

Does anyone have some advice and related experiences to tying the knot in the bush?

ie The ceremony.

    Expectations of the 'Sacrificial Farang'

    Time frame of the whole event.

    Useful methods to avoid killing someone.

    How to stay sober

Being stuck in a tiny village for too long will drive me nuts but I guess it's unavoidable.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...should+you+tell

[Tornado]

I got married a few years ago in Nakhon sri Thammarat - Chian Yai.

I was the first farang to have a girlfriend/wife from the village and was treated like a King. I had about 10 mates go with me and we stayed over in Nakhon City for a couple of days, before we went to the village.

On the day, I wasn't prepared for the ceremony - I arrived and walked up to the enterance of the house, got my feet dusted off from the youngsters (paid em some money in an envelope) and then walked in. I was totally surprised that the ceremony had started and as soon as the monks (5) saw me, they started doing their chant - it was an awesome feeling and I will never forget it.

The downside -

kneeling for so long in a suit.

every man and his dog comes to the party.

no one on the Thai side, except for family, dressed up - there were people attending with shorts and flip flops (thongs).

The loud crap music.

The bugs on dusk.

The mud, as it rained the night before.

The "every village has one, drunk bloke"

The worst of all was the envelope donations that were given to us, every time someone came, we had to get up, wai and take the "present"/money. I dont want to sound ungratefull, but I dont want their twenty baht, nor do I want to keep getting up and down all day, so I put a stop to it and told my Mrs, if they didnt like leaving it on the table, tell them to take it with them. (Remember this goes on all day and with your Mrs being up at dawn getting her hair/makeup done and you with a hangover from the night before. By 8 pm, you are sick of getting up for twenty ######en baht ) My Mrs father is the Orbotor and the brother is the Kumnaan, so it didnt look that good, but hey - up to me

All in all though, it was a great experience, that not many people will ever experience and with that said, go to a hotel and get married, it also works out cheaper, cleaner and aircond is a bonus whilst wearing a suit.

[jayenram]

The loud crap music.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A mate of mine was telling me about his (similar) pig's head wedding. After 2 hours, he said, "Right, turn that sh1t off, it's time to play my music". He went to the truck and got a tape of his favourite music. The DJ nor the Khmers were impressed by "Mantovani"!!

[poolcleaner]

Thanks for all the advice guys.

I'm not sure it's lessened my concerns at all but it's good to get a slice of others experiences.

I like Bangkok.

I want to stay in Bangkok.

I don't feel the need for a weekend in the sticks, ever.

Having said that I'm willing to let the missus have her big day at home.

This means I've accepted the course of events but I don't really know what happens.

Hence the questions of 'how long?' etc.

The thought of being stuck in a tiny village for 2-3 days surrounded by 'country folk' is a concern.

The family are OK but my Thai isn't good enough to make do in a village and I expect to make the journey alone.

The last village member I met drank himself stupid in about 3 hours!! (Ineed at least 6) and it's not my intention to cause any embarrassment to the wife's family.

Maybe I can go fishing!

Oh and just for your info guys re the family etc.

I'm probably one of the very few farang who have their mother-in-law living with them, before I'm married.

Has anyone else taken such a step before?

Edited January 26, 2005 by poolcleaner

[NedKelly]

Why are u marrying her if u dont want to see where she comes from and what it is all about ?? In fact what are u doing in Thailand ?

[Totster]

The thought of being stuck in a tiny village for 2-3 days surrounded by 'country folk' is a concern.

Oh come on.... get a grip...

The family are OK but my Thai isn't good enough to make do in a village and I expect to make the journey alone.

How do you know that you won't make do in a village... my Thai is rubbish and I get by just fine... in fact it's an ideal opportunity to improve your language skills...

The last village member I met drank himself stupid in about 3 hours!! (Ineed at least 6) and it's not my intention to cause any embarrassment to the wife's family.

3 hours eh, the next door neighbours where I live are drunk before I get up..!!

totster

[dclaryjr]

The missus has floated the idea of getting married in her local village next year and I'm a little concerned.

Does anyone have some advice and related experiences to tying the knot in the bush?

ie The ceremony.

    Expectations of the 'Sacrificial Farang'

    Time frame of the whole event.

    Useful methods to avoid killing someone.

    How to stay sober

Being stuck in a tiny village for too long will drive me nuts but I guess it's unavoidable.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My wife and I had a ceremony in her village outside of Korat. It was great! Folks in my wife's village love a good party (I should know--I've paid for a few so everyone attended. I would like to direct you to some pictures of it on my website, but I had the film developed back in the U.S., and when I opened the envelope, I had pictures of some unknown family on vacation at Yellowstone. My compensation for Fox Photo losing memories for a lifetime? $4 to reimburse me for the film.

My memory of the late evening festivities are fuzzy. It has something to do with the home made palm liquor I was coaxed into consuming. Since then I've stuck to Chang come party time!

[poolcleaner]

Why are u marrying her if u dont want to see where she comes from and what it is all about ?? In fact what are u doing in Thailand ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Perhaps the most stupid questions I've seen in a long time but to give you the benefit of the doubt I'll ask you to expand on your questions.

Are you some culture nazi troll?

[Sunshine]

I had a really good time. It's was a little bit painful kneeling down for over an hour while the several monks did there chanting. I was a bit nervous before hand but not half as nervous as my wife. A few hundredpeple turned up through out the day. I knew quite a few of them as I have spent a lot of time in her village. I assumed that a lot of them would find the whole thing a bit funny as I was a farang but I was pleasently surprised. It was a great experience.

[Scallywag]

Dont do it, another stupid farang. Why marry one? Where did you meet her in 7/11 or the local bank?? he he .

[Kiwi_James]

"The missus has floated the idea of getting married in her local village next year and I'm a little concerned."

Believe me if she has "floated the idea" she will have the wedding already planned right down to the last detail. Just ask her to give you a copy of the budget and go from there

One thing to watch out for is the hire of the wedding costumes...... you might be asked to pay for mum, sisters, aunties and nieces..... with different outfits for the morning and evening service it can become quite expensive especially if you hire in BKK

Best just to work out a budget that you can afford and let your wife do the planning.

Our wedding cost 120,000 baht..... really good value for the money spent.... it was the biggest wedding ever held in the village..... we all had such a fantastic time...... also make sure you have a band and dancing girls for the night time entertainment...... the village boys will be very happy

good luck

[Pink Mist]

We used a marriage service company and it cost around 25,000 baht.

100 guests, fully catered, wedding albums, makeovers, wedding clothes the whole box and dice so it doesn't have to cost the earth.

One weekend away from Bkk won't kill you and you might even enjoy yourself.

[Pie Boy]

Missus and I married in isaan a good few years ago and twas a bloody great day.My in laws are the salt of the earth and I wouldn't change a thing.Everytime I go back my in laws pay their way the best they can.I m happy to pay my way as I am in good ole' blighty.

If you have a good family boy you will have a good party.

[poolcleaner]

Dont do it, another stupid farang.  Why marry one?  Where did you meet her in 7/11 or the local bank?? he he .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I met her at the candy store..

she turned around and smiled at me, you get the picture?

that's when I fell for......

Actually (on the quiet like) I fancy one of those spousal visas!