Dross

[t.s]

sadly i see this book recommended here frequently as required reading for the understanding of thai women.

[thedivezone]

Thanks to Kukhan for having dragged this thread out from the past, otherwise i'd have missed this brilliant piece by taxexile, as funny and poignant today as it was five years ago, cheers for a good laugh !

has anybody read the new blockbuster that seems to flying off the shelves at poxy phils second hand book emporium in soi blowjob down there in pattaya?

its called "carry on thaivisa in bangcock....ooh matron ! " and it features a motley crew of zany characters struggling to come to terms with the strange twists of fate that finds them lurching from disaster to beer bottle in the exotic and humid east in their struggle for supremacy over internet mogul and mr. big ( george ) , the evil brains behind thaivisa.com , sitting in front of banks of computers 60 stories up in an underground hong kong high rise with some pussy on his lap , he pulls the strings and beercan tops whilst trying to control his wayward empire.

blast your way through this unputdownable pageturner as he tries to prevent a rag-bag bunch of no-mark illiterates , low - life expats and would be pundits from ruining his baby and gravy train by clogging up useful bandwith , bandwidth that could be bringing in millions in tax free offshore advertising revenue..... if only ..

if only those drunken expats would raise the tone of the discussions a bit , then he could get some decent advertisers here instead of all those cheap links to khao san road travel agents , samut prakaan shirt factories , soi cowboy webcams , all those moneypit bars that sunbelt asia want to offload and internet antibiotic and textured condom suppliers.

george is helped in his struggle for world domination by his trusty gang of moderators , led by the enigmatic dr. pat pong. thought by many to be a supporter of islamic expansionist policies this stern no nonsense enforcer has racked up a staggering 5000 irreversible fatwahs against those who have dared to cross his narrow path.

an expert in the labyrinthine ways of the thai legal system he can hunt down and humiliate a poverty packer , illegal soap dodger , or scamster before they have left the airport .

other moderators , trained in the tough unforgiving world of school prefects and library silencing try , usually unsuccesfully to retain the moral high ground , so beloved of advertisers and officialdom.

attempting to subvert the operation and drag it down into the natural habitat of all web forums , the rat infested gutters of bad taste , are the army of posters.

expat stereotypes and wannabes , hucksters , snake oil salesmen , shagmeisters and mad shysters use ever more subtle tactics to steer the threads down the populist tabloid paths of alcohol abuse , self abuse , the duplicitousness of the thais , anti americanism , prostitutes and those who marry them , political incorrectness and those old favourites , sure to garner sympathy from sensitive readers.... annoying the housewives and schoolteachers...... easy targets to wind up as they are too busy ironing or marking to answer back

laugh as ageing lovesick posters are bankrupted by bargirls ,

weep as heavy hitting stockbrokers lose fortunes ,

recoil in revulsion as it rains suicide victims in pattaya ,

smirk with sarcasm as newbies ask stupid questions .... the same ones that you asked when you first arrived here ,

dance with delight as the dollar descends to errrrr.., deep depths ,

go green with envy as lying bastards tell you how many bargirls they have had in the past week for free ,

mop your brow with misery as mega - rich taxexile goes on and on and on and on about how he isnt going to pay yet another racist 5 baht overcharge ,

pray profusely that smarmy wideboy land agents lose everything in a property crash ,

wank with wonderment as best selling authors , even ones who think they are a little bit famous , manage to type words of two syllables ,

thank your lucky stars that you live in bangkok as you hear how skilled isaan engineers build georgian mansions out of bamboo and banana leaves for only 5 million baht ,

thank the good lord that you have at least one brain cell still functioning as you hear about those who have travelled half way around the world and spend most of their free time eating pork pies in mock english pubs ,

lock up your daughters as 30 times married geriatric casino operators threaten to move here ,

express your feminine side as the pavillion end bowling society demand that the gay forum background colour is changed to pink ,

scream "oh no not again" , as the right on and in your face all american superhero katwoman tries to save the world from , well the threat of the day.

sit down and have a cup of tea and a biscuit as you learn that simple simon has finally discovered the answer to the question that has until recently remained unanswered , do prostitutes sleep around? are you sitting down ? the answer may surprise you.

and have the chance to take vicious nasty cowardly potshots at anybody you dont like , even if you have never met them...... especially if you have never met them.

its a classic struggle for supremacy , all human (and quite a lot that isnt) life is there.

its the story they said would never be told , but you can read it now , its free , just log on to thaivisa.com.,

"what time is it".....b.trink.

[Ulysses G.]

Private Dancer is not intened to be high brow literature; just entertaining reading, which I thought it was. The way it is written in the first person from each character's point of view is different and interesting.

A few expat writers are good, a few are OK and many, many suck, but Private Dancer is one of the better expat books for what it is. The Big Mango, Touch the Dragon and Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior are all OK to pretty good.

[chrisll]

Private Dancer is not intened to be high brow literature; just entertaining reading, which I thought it was. The way it is written in the first person from each character's point of view is different and interesting.

A few expat writers are good, a few are OK and many, many suck, but Private Dancer is one of the better expat books for what it is. The Big Mango, Touch the Dragon and Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior are all OK to pretty good.

escape by david mcmillian is a good book.

[mark45y]

I am surprised no one mentioned, Dana, Korski, Broken man repaired, Chiang Mai Kelly and the others.

[sabaijai]

Hard to believe no one else posting here appears to have read Lawrence Osborne or Timothy Hallinan.

Added: Maybe it's because the thread is five years old

[wintermute]

To be honest most of the expat "authors" have the writing ability of magazine fan fiction or blog story writers. Which is to say they are capable of stringing together coherent sentences and getting the point across but there's no Hemingways or Kerouacs here.

Private Dancer was pretty laughable really. A lot of the Bangkok "noir" stories are cliche as hel_l too and usually involve some aging expat sleuth fantasy which is childish and the sort of tale you hear in beer bars around here told by the same reprobates.

[Zstarx]

Private Dancer is not intened to be high brow literature; just entertaining reading, which I thought it was. The way it is written in the first person from each character's point of view is different and interesting.

A few expat writers are good, a few are OK and many, many suck, but Private Dancer is one of the better expat books for what it is. The Big Mango, Touch the Dragon and Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior are all OK to pretty good.

The Big Mango and Killing Plato, both by Jake Needham, excellent read, much better than a lot of the local dross that get's published

[Amyji]

Here's a new twist. Do any of you like Science Fiction?

I'm reading a recently published book called "The Windup Girl" by Paolo Bacigalupi which takes place in Thailand's future.

Publisher's Weekly Review says:

Noted short story writer Bacigalupi (Pump Six and Other Stories) proves equally adept at novel length in this grim but beautifully written tale of Bangkok struggling for survival in a post-oil era of rising sea levels and out-of-control mutation. Capt. Jaidee Rojjanasukchai of the Thai Environment Ministry fights desperately to protect his beloved nation from foreign influences. Factory manager Anderson Lake covertly searches for new and useful mutations for a hated Western agribusiness. Aging Chinese immigrant Tan Hock Seng lives by his wits while looking for one last score. Emiko, the titular despised but impossibly seductive product of Japanese genetic engineering, works in a brothel until she accidentally triggers a civil war. This complex, literate and intensely felt tale, which recalls both William Gibson and Ian McDonald at their very best, will garner Bacigalupi significant critical attention and is clearly one of the finest science fiction novels of the year.

As of this writing I'm on page 11, so I can't comment on it yet, but so far so good.

[lazygourmet]

Private Dancer is not intened to be high brow literature; just entertaining reading, which I thought it was. The way it is written in the first person from each character's point of view is different and interesting.

A few expat writers are good, a few are OK and many, many suck, but Private Dancer is one of the better expat books for what it is. The Big Mango, Touch the Dragon and Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior are all OK to pretty good.

The Big Mango and Killing Plato, both by Jake Needham, excellent read, much better than a lot of the local dross that get's published

Agree regarding Jake Needham... Tea Money, his second novel was an entertaining read as well.

Regarding Big Mango, I thought that he sold the rights several years ago for a movie... but, any news?!?

[lazygourmet]

Private Dancer is not intened to be high brow literature; just entertaining reading, which I thought it was. The way it is written in the first person from each character's point of view is different and interesting.

A few expat writers are good, a few are OK and many, many suck, but Private Dancer is one of the better expat books for what it is. The Big Mango, Touch the Dragon and Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior are all OK to pretty good.

The Big Mango and Killing Plato, both by Jake Needham, excellent read, much better than a lot of the local dross that get's published

Agree regarding Jake Needham... Tea Money, his second novel was an entertaining read as well.

Regarding Big Mango, I thought that he sold the rights several years ago for a movie... but, any news?!?

[Ulysses G.]

There was a rumor that the fellow who plays Tony on the Supranos was going to star in it, but that was some time ago.

[Ulysses G.]

Hard to believe no one else posting here appears to have read Lawrence Osborne

IMHO, there are a good number of books about Thailand and SEA that are non-fiction and quite good. I'm not sure how many of the authors are expats though.

[zzdocxx]

Emiko, the titular despised but impossibly seductive product of Japanese genetic engineering, works in a brothel until she accidentally triggers a civil war.

That sounds provocative.

[StreetCowboy]

Personally I have no interest at all in Reading 'Private dancer'.

I can form my own opinions of people and am not interested in some sex tourists account of how the girl he was exploiting was not all he EXPECTED her to be!!!

(Why don't these exploited poor people behave in a decent manner whilst we travel thousands of miles to benefit from their situation eh?) Sick attitude!!

That it is recommended as vital reading by some twerp that has been to Thailand for a 3 week holiday and is sitting thousands of miles away whilst I am in Thailand since 1990, is enough to put me off for life.

OK for guys (sex tourists), sitting in another country missing the bar scene I guess.

Myself, I prefer 'The Bible'.

Well I quite enjoyed Private Dancer. I enjoyed the style of it, with each chapter written from a different perspective. I think it was prudent to use fairly stereotypical characters, so that the reader could easily identify with them. Also a pleasantly short book that could be read through in a single sitting. I read it on line, before it was published in paper, and a friend of mine was equally enthused.

To be fair, I do spend more time ploughing through my King James VI, but that can get a bit tiresome; similarly, though, it is interesting to see the same events described from different view points, but there is less deliberate contrast in styles in the Authorised Version.

If anyone's interested, I thought Big Mango was pretty much without redeeming features, and I'd not recommend that

SC

[IanForbes]

I'm surprised that nobody understands just WHY people write the cliche books. IT'S BECAUSE THEY SELL!

Most authors want to make money from what they write. Authors write what people want to read, and what the publisher can sell to the potential customers. It is as simple as that.

Has anyone gone to the movies recently? Can you actually BELIEVE the crap the script writers and the producers try to foist off on the public? It says a lot about how stupid the producers believe the public to be. And, just MAYBE they are right! Same goes for the stupid television programs that are an insult to the average person's intelligence.

It is the same in just about every creative or artistic field. You give the audience what they want, and not necessarily what you want.

[iwad2010]

I just finished a book called 'the damage done'. It tells the story of Warren Fellows. An Aussie who did some time in BKK for drug smuggling. I wasn't sure at first, but this is a pretty well writen book.

[Ulysses G.]

Personally I have no interest at all in Reading 'Private dancer'.

Myself, I prefer 'The Bible'.

You have not read Private Dancer, but you post a wild denunciation of it anyway. That is pretty typical of many folks who claim to read the Bible for pleasure, wouldn't you say?

Sorry, but your book recommendations seem directed towards the members of one of those churches where parishioners speak in tongues and pass around poisonous snakes. You would probably be better off posting in a forum for rednecks in Alabama.

[StreetCowboy]

Personally I have no interest at all in Reading 'Private dancer'.

Myself, I prefer 'The Bible'.

You have not read Private Dancer, but you post a wild denunciation of it anyway. That is pretty typical of many folks who claim to read the Bible for pleasure, wouldn't you say?

Sorry, but your book recommendations seem directed towards the members of one of those churches where parishioners speak in tongues and pass around poisonous snakes. You would probably be better off posting in a forum for rednecks in Alabama.

Constructive, kind and helpful advice as always on Thai Visa - with illustrations for the semi-literate.

SC

[Thakkar]

To be honest most of the expat "authors" have the writing ability of magazine fan fiction or blog story writers. Which is to say they are capable of stringing together coherent sentences and getting the point across but there's no Hemingways or Kerouacs here.

Private Dancer was pretty laughable really. A lot of the Bangkok "noir" stories are cliche as hel_l too and usually involve some aging expat sleuth fantasy which is childish and the sort of tale you hear in beer bars around here told by the same reprobates.

I'm sold! Where can I get a copy?

[bonobo]

Here's a new twist. Do any of you like Science Fiction?

I'm reading a recently published book called "The Windup Girl" by Paolo Bacigalupi which takes place in Thailand's future.

Publisher's Weekly Review says:

Noted short story writer Bacigalupi (Pump Six and Other Stories) proves equally adept at novel length in this grim but beautifully written tale of Bangkok struggling for survival in a post-oil era of rising sea levels and out-of-control mutation. Capt. Jaidee Rojjanasukchai of the Thai Environment Ministry fights desperately to protect his beloved nation from foreign influences. Factory manager Anderson Lake covertly searches for new and useful mutations for a hated Western agribusiness. Aging Chinese immigrant Tan Hock Seng lives by his wits while looking for one last score. Emiko, the titular despised but impossibly seductive product of Japanese genetic engineering, works in a brothel until she accidentally triggers a civil war. This complex, literate and intensely felt tale, which recalls both William Gibson and Ian McDonald at their very best, will garner Bacigalupi significant critical attention and is clearly one of the finest science fiction novels of the year.

As of this writing I'm on page 11, so I can't comment on it yet, but so far so good.

Give us a review, please, when you've finished.

[Ulysses G.]

Constructive, kind and helpful advice as always on Thai Visa - with illustrations for the semi-literate.

SC

You must have really enjoyed them.

Edited May 6, 2010 by Ulysses G.

[bonobo]

My next novel, 3/4's done, takes place in Thailand.  While I hope it is a better book than Private Dancer,  I sure wouldn't mind having that book's longevity or sales!  

[bjoe97]

Personally I have no interest at all in Reading 'Private dancer'.

I can form my own opinions of people and am not interested in some sex tourists account of how the girl he was exploiting was not all he EXPECTED her to be!!!

(Why don't these exploited poor people behave in a decent manner whilst we travel thousands of miles to benefit from their situation eh?) Sick attitude!!

That it is recommended as vital reading by some twerp that has been to Thailand for a 3 week holiday and is sitting thousands of miles away whilst I am in Thailand since 1990, is enough to put me off for life.

OK for guys (sex tourists), sitting in another country missing the bar scene I guess.

Myself, I prefer 'The Bible'.

yuo prefer the bible than woman or to read or what? Mind you I do like choirboys. Never really done anything kinky what bible.

I thinking reading the bible is more than enough to put anyone of life- for life.

[bjoe97]

He also wrote on of the best insights into how badly bar girls are treated when sent abroad

" my name in Lon" show the tragic things a young lady has to do to survive, yes, it may called fiction, but a a lot of it is based upon fact

Err Have you even read this book? For a start its not a work of fiction. Its a true story about a girl, who's name is 'Lon'. Hence the title. That's a picture of her on the front cover.

Secondly, with the notable exception of 1 English guy who was just a slob, she got treated quite well when she was abroad. A Swiss guy married her but then foolishly thought that since they were married he wouldn't have to pay her for sex anymore. A Swedish guy then took her to Sweden and she seemed to have no complaints about him. Unfortunately, he lost his job and had to moved to Spain but the Swedish state seemed to take very good care of her. Gave her a place to stay, free health care..etc.. It was her decision to leave and return to Thailand.

If there is a real villain in this book, its clearly her Mother. Who shows no compassion or sympathy for her own daughter. Places continuous and unrealistic demands on her. Borrows huge sums and places the burden of debt repayment on her daughter. This book had nothing to do with her 'survival' and everything to do with her Mother's lifestyle expectations.

you have the wrong book

there is no photos on the cover

she was raped by eastern Europeans,she never had a swiss boyfriend.I used to though.Hung like a horse he was!

are you sure its that same one

In the end she steals a lot of cash and returns directly to here

[StreetCowboy]

Constructive, kind and helpful advice as always on Thai Visa - with illustrations for the semi-literate.

SC

You must have really enjoyed them.

Oh, that just made my day. I don't know when, I don't know where and I don't know why, but I am sure I will use that in the future. I've saved it with my jpg of the FA Cup, which I send to people who achieve that at work.

I did like the veiled insult as well, I guess I'm just lucky I'm thick-skinned, and flattered if you thought I might take offence.

SC

[Ulysses G.]

Sorry to touch a nerve. To be honest, I could not see why you would get so indignant about me pointing out that someone was trashing a book that he had not even bothered reading. However, at first. I failed to notice your sign-in name.

[StreetCowboy]

Sorry to touch a nerve. To be honest, I could not see why you would get so indignant about me pointing out that someone was trashing a book that he had not even bothered reading. However, at first. I failed to notice your sign-in name.

My posts were offered in honest and heart-felt support, with genuine admiration. The last, with not even a hint of sarcasm; I'm itching to award the FA Cup now - but I should wait till someone makes an appropriate outstanding contribution to intelligent debate; shouldn't be long, I suppose. I did feel genuinely flattered by the veiled insult, and the way that it drew on the earlier post for its barb; fortunately you had quoted the earlier post, otherwise I might have missed it, and I'd have been poorer for that

SC

[bjoe97]

Colin Piprel has got Thai/falang antics down to a tee!

I've read 'Kicking Dogs' and 'Yawn' both a great read!

Colin Piprel is the most unrecognized writer out there.

Not only is he one of the nicest people one could ever hope to meet, like Mr leather, he is genius, who I hope will give us more of his great work.

[StreetCowboy]

Colin Piprel has got Thai/falang antics down to a tee!

I've read 'Kicking Dogs' and 'Yawn' both a great read!

Colin Piprel is the most unrecognized writer out there.

Not only is he one of the nicest people one could ever hope to meet, like Mr leather, he is genius, who I hope will give us more of his great work.

? He is one of the nicest people one could ever hope to meet, like Mr Leather

or

he is, like Mr Leather, a genius?

Maybe both?

SC