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Posted (edited)
48 minutes ago, CantSpell said:

The brunette at the front was so hot, it melted both my brain and her mouth.. Now she needs some plastic surgery.. ???? 

How long ago did this "brain" meltdown happen?

Or to put this another way, as the kinky bishop said to the even kinkier actress, just how old is this photo with you in it?

:sorry:????

 

PS; when they say it shouldn't melt in the mouth they don't mean a lit candle!  You have got the BJ/Blowing your mind out all wrong, me thinks!

 

PPS;  Is the "plastic surgery" via your plastic Visa, Mastercard or Amex cards or have you burnt your bridges with the local bored and down in the mouth surgeon?

Edited by scottiejohn
Posted
The modern dolls are a bit larger and a lot more expensive.
Well, that's inflation for you.
 
I got bored with my old doll, and bought a new one. I didn't want to hurt the old one's feelings so I let her down gently.

I bought one of those dolls but she kept going down on me !!

I’ll leave it up to you to decide if that was a good or bad thing !!
Posted
6 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:


I bought one of those dolls but she kept going down on me !!

I’ll leave it up to you to decide if that was a good or bad thing !!

I think the hole topic has been blown up out off all proportion.

 

PS;  WARNING do not give love bites otherwise all you hear is one fart and it flies out the window

  • Like 2
Posted

What does a reptile wear on its feet?
Snakers.


 Why couldn’t the frog find his car?
 It got toad away.


 What’s the strongest insect in the world?
 A snail. It carries its house on its back!


 How does a bee get to school?
 It takes the buzz.

 

What happened to the cat when she swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.


How do you make a Dalmatian puppy disappear?
Use Spot remover.

 

  • Like 1
Posted

There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five. On his birthday he went to the racetrack and was astounded to see that in the fifth race (scheduled for five o’clock) a horse called Pentagram was running, with the odds of 55 to 1. Rushing off to the bank, the man was astonished to find he had $5,555.55 in his bank account. He withdrew the whole amount, dashed back to the races and bet all of it on Pentagram to win.

 

Pentagram, obviously, came in sixth.  
 

Posted

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing cards with his dog.

He watched the game in amazement for a while.

“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed.

“That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

 Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied.

 

“Every time he gets a good paw-full, he wags his tail.”  

 

  • Like 1
Posted
6 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:


I bought one of those dolls but she kept going down on me !!

I’ll leave it up to you to decide if that was a good or bad thing !!

It is probably better than inflating your own ego!

Posted

Father and son out shopping. They reach the cashier and the boy spots the goodies on the “impulse buys” rack.

Little boy: "Chocolate Buttons Dad!"

Dad: "Your Mother didn't write it on the list."

Little Boy: "Ask the lady for a pen!"

  • Like 1
Posted

Today my daughter said something that did not sounded very polite, so I asked her to say it again in a nicer way....

 

She repeated the same thing, with an English accent!!

  • Like 1
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