Sin Sod

[loong]

Hello Ladies,

I'm sorry to intrude on your forum, but this question does apply to you.

I see many topics re to pay sin sod or not, how much , Thai culture etc.

I've done a search, but can't find the answer.

What I want to know is, those ladies that have married a Thai man, was the subject of Sin sod ever discussed?

I just wondered because if it's such a big thing and Farang are expected to respect Thai culture with cross culture marriages. Do Thais forget their culture when the men are marrying farang women?

It often seems that the better educated and richer the family the higher the Sin sod, so I would have thought that a farang woman would be worth at least 10 million Baht!

I'm sorry if this has already been discussed, but just a bit of fun and I would really like to know if a farang woman has ever been offered Sin sod.

[IanForbes]

You're a tricky devil, loong.

It WOULD be hypocritical if the sin sod only applies one way. Dowries, sin sods and other ethnic expressions of love are only one of many reasons not to get married. There are lots of fish in the sea before getting trapped in the tentacles of a jellyfish.

[loong]

You're a tricky devil, loong.

It WOULD be hypocritical if the sin sod only applies one way. Dowries, sin sods and other ethnic expressions of love are only one of many reasons not to get married. There are lots of fish in the sea before getting trapped in the tentacles of a jellyfish.

I hope that I'm not really tricky, I do enjoy ironic humour but I would really like to know if this subject has ever been discussed when a farang woman marries a Thai man.

Unfortunately, no replies from the ladies as yet.

[Boo]

Offered & refused (after a bit of a chuckle over amounts)

[rgs2001uk]

You're a tricky devil, loong.

It WOULD be hypocritical if the sin sod only applies one way. Dowries, sin sods and other ethnic expressions of love are only one of many reasons not to get married. There are lots of fish in the sea before getting trapped in the tentacles of a jellyfish.

I hope that I'm not really tricky, I do enjoy ironic humour but I would really like to know if this subject has ever been discussed when a farang woman marries a Thai man.

Unfortunately, no replies from the ladies as yet.

Loong, that may speak volumes, sometimes its not what people say but what they dont say that tells you more.

As an aside, why dont you post the same question on the gay forum, did the Thai tom/top pay sin sot for a farang dee/bottom.

[loong]

Offered & refused (after a bit of a chuckle over amounts)

Thanks Boo,

I note that you had a bit of a chuckle - care to expand? Was it a serious offer?

[Boo]

umm, actually no I don't agree rgs2001uk, not every one of the ladies who post here is online all the time or even every day & as loong only started the thread a few hours ago then it is quite fair to give the ladies a chance to see it & reply if they chose to do so rather than assume something (whatever it is you are assuming) .

[meme]

Was offered and refused, but for show we borrowed a box of a Thai friend's gold and used a pile of crisp 1000 baht bills which were given to my mom by his mom during the ceremony and after the ceremony they were returned to their owners. Only thing that mattered was the the offer and the show no one wanted to actually take it and spend it.

[Boo]

the first chuckle was over the amounts that my mil thought should be paid. As a never married, childless investment banker she was getting quite worried over how to raise the kind of sin sot she had in mind but another chuckle was when I told my mum about sin sot & did she want anything (haha). She fell over laughing & said she will pay them

As it is we have never got round to the ceremony party only the legal marriage but agreed that if we ever do then a sin sot (some money & gold) will be put on for show as a tradition & not as an essential bargaining tool

[Goinghomesoon]

My husband is the eldest son and MIL was initially adament that they would pay sin sod, just as they did when their younger son was married.

In the end we went the same route as Meme. I had a pile of moolah on the plate but it was ceremonial only and handed back after the bai-sri was finished. MIL saved face and we were happy too.

(The in-laws sub-divided their land shortly afterwards and each sibling, including hubby, scored 10 rai so I don't think we did too badly all told.)

Edited June 9, 2009 by Goinghomesoon

[Raesum]

No.I'd never even heard of sin sod until I read about it on this forum.I have never heard it discussed amongst my Thai husbands family either.

[richard_smith237]

Refreshing thread and thanks to the ladies for their input so far.

My girlfriend and I are talking about marriage….

For a chuckle… When it gets to the ‘discussion phase’ I would like to ask – IF her brother was to marry my sister how much sin-sot would be offered…

(Not sure if I’ve made a web-forum faux-pas by posting a response when the question was directed specifically at the ladies. If so, apologies).

[sbk]

I was told that if we were to have a wedding then sin sot would be paid. But, since I wasn't really up for a 1000 guests (minimum) wedding and my parents could not come at the time (health issues) we opted for no ceremony but only did the legal thing at the amphur. But yes, if we had had a wedding, I would have been given sin sot and the wedding would have been paid for by my husband's family.

As it is, my father-in-law bought me a two baht gold necklace because he didn't want anyone to think his daughter-in-law had no gold. I still wear it, 20 years later as I find the sentiment behind it particularly meaningful.

**edit --not sure where you live Rae Sun but I sin sot is fairly common on koh Phangan, my nephew paid a large sin sot to his bride's family which they received back on their wedding day.

[F1fanatic]

In other words, no - no sinsod has been paid for any marriage of a Thai to a farang woman.

Lots of reasons why not, but at the end of the day money has not exchanged hands.

[sbk]

Actually, that is not the way i read it at all, intersting that you did. I saw it that it was offered and refused by the wife. Not quite the same implication, I think.

[F1fanatic]

Actually, that is not the way i read it at all, intersting that you did. I saw it that it was offered and refused by the wife. Not quite the same implication, I think.

I thought it was the wife's parents that took the sinsod?

Interesting that you believed it was down to the wife when so many posters insist that their wife disagrees with the idea, but the parents insist.

[sbk]

You said that nobody had been paid a sin sot and I said that no western woman had agreed to accept it, there is a difference. What that has to do with parents, I have no idea.

Western women are raised with generally very different belief systems and most would not accept a sin sot as it is not a cultural norm for us. Apples to oranges here, I think. And yes, I do know Thai women who have refused the sin sot, and, interestingly enough, the parents didn't want it.

And where you got the idea I said a Thai woman's parents kept the sin sot, I have no idea. I have specifically stated in many threads that in the marriages i have seen the sin sot has always been given to the couple to start their lives with. but of course those are thai couples.So, once again, it woulnd't really apply to a western woman married to a Thai man since a western woman (and by extension) her parent's expectations would be totally different for a wedding

[GrahamF]

the first chuckle was over the amounts that my mil thought should be paid. As a never married, childless investment banker she was getting quite worried over how to raise the kind of sin sot she had in mind but another chuckle was when I told my mum about sin sot & did she want anything (haha). She fell over laughing & said she will pay them

As it is we have never got round to the ceremony party only the legal marriage but agreed that if we ever do then a sin sot (some money & gold) will be put on for show as a tradition & not as an essential bargaining tool

If you do get around to the ceremony will the Sin Sot on show be the amount it would have been when you got married or at the value of an investment banker as seen by the world today?

[sbk]

Ooh, low blow Graham. Low blow

[Boo]

Yeah, 12 satang & a kick up the ass probably.

[hellohello]

hubby was very serious about this and he borrowed 20k thb from my older brother for the "show" and gave it right back to him. it was my 2nd marrige and I am over 40, so I aint worth much! L0L!

[Goinghomesoon]

In other words, no - no sinsod has been paid for any marriage of a Thai to a farang woman.

Lots of reasons why not, but at the end of the day money has not exchanged hands.

Well it was only because I refused so vigorously. Like SBK says, it's just not the way I was raised. I had to keep reminding MIL that I was nearly 40 and probably not worth much anyway TBH I still half expected her to show up with a handbag full of money on the morning of the wedding.

My own mother - who's been trying to marry me off for years - came up to Isaan for the ceremony. The fact MIL even offered sin sod for me was quite hilarious to her

Edited June 10, 2009 by Goinghomesoon

[mssabai]

This made me chuckle as it has come up recently. Discussions are just starting for Mr Sabai's sister's sin sod, so Big Moma (who is a right cheeky so and so) pops her head round the bedroom door and says "if you will pay for my flight and my visa, I can go and talk to your mum about your sin sod". Told my mum about that last night and she thought it was very amusing...but pricked up her ears when she heard I may have a value!

Talked to mr sabai about it, he said the same as what most of the girls here said, there is no way either me or my family would accept a sin sod even if it was offered, however a show amount of money would be used at the ceremony whatever (IF we were to get married - though the idea of a Thai marriage gives me cold sweats). Reckon I would hold out for some bling though!

Edited June 11, 2009 by mssabai