Do You Have A Succesfull Marriage To A Bar Girl

[popmybubble]

Been going with BG for over 2 years 20 years younger than me have 4 month baby boy she as always understood that I would not marry her or take her to England yes I pay her monthly.

Are you the father of this baby? If so, I think it's unfair that you chose to have a kid, when your relationship with his mother appears to be a business transaction.

Answer to your first question what it got to do with you

Don't post information about your life on a public internet forum if you don't want people to comment on it

[offset]

Been going with BG for over 2 years 20 years younger than me have 4 month baby boy she as always understood that I would not marry her or take her to England yes I pay her monthly.

Are you the father of this baby? If so, I think it's unfair that you chose to have a kid, when your relationship with his mother appears to be a business transaction.

Answer to your first question what it got to do with you

Don't post information about your life on a public internet forum if you don't want people to comment on it

It was the comment that has my GF slept around while with me that was uncalled for why did you need to know if it was my baby or not I did say he was my Son so what reason did you have to query it I guess that you are one of these people that think and say ALL bar girls cheat which drives a lot of people away from this forum

[TooMuchTooYoung]

I once had a Thai girlfriend who worked in a bar.

We were together for about a year untill she married her UK fiance.

She was straight up with me right from the begining and she never hit me up even for 1 bht.

Her UK boyfriend however was sending her a fortune every month. I was allways amazed at how she would tell me everything about this guy, how she didn't love him but he had money and was willing to suport her and her family.

From time to time he would call when I was with her, even in the bedroom together she would tell him how much she loved him and missed him and then hang up and act like it was completely normal.

A year or so after she went back to UK with him I got an email from her saying it was over and she was back in Thailand, she asked me to give her a call next time I was in Bkk.

Last I heard she had another UK husband.

I was in this bar and an Australian and his girlfriend walked in telling everyone about the house he had just bought her. I said to him where is the house whats it like? He showed me a brochure and said i haven't actually been to the house as its not built yet but still gave her the deposit for it. I laughed at him and said how do you know she actually put the deposit down? He said i trust her!!! Anyway i saw his girlfriend a few days later on her own as he had gone back to work. We ended up having mad passionate sex together, when we finished she asked me to go to Western Union with her to collect some cash from the Ozzie.......one sucker born every minute. Oh and by the way I'm from the UK.

Edited July 3, 2009 by TooMuchTooYoung

[longstebe]

People actually marry hookers? I thought that was an urban myth.

Then you have not lived in Thailand very long or are registered blind.

Or possibly a little sarcastic? Are you seriously that retarded?

Brilliant.

Edited July 3, 2009 by longstebe

[Nurse]

Yep, many Bar girls turn into, Buffalo Heads after marriage. Nuff said

How do you know ?

[longstebe]

People actually marry hookers? I thought that was an urban myth.

so your wife gave the game up when the texas lone star came and rescued her... lucky for her

I know you texas boys can lack any form of niceness

so, here, today, just for you is a free lesson

do not call them hookers- they are human beings- thats not nice, I would not call you a backward, redneck from USA most stupid human rightless state.. that would be rude

they, most likely just like your own beloved little stay at home wife would get on their knees and do anything if they had to

buddy, we all have to do what we have to do to get by

Cock

Absolutley brilliant again.

Edited July 3, 2009 by longstebe

[Nurse]

People actually marry hookers? I thought that was an urban myth.

Then you have not lived in Thailand very long or are registered blind.

Or possibly a little sarcastic? Are you seriously that retarded?

Brilliant.

Totally amazing.

[popmybubble]

It was the comment that has my GF slept around while with me that was uncalled for why did you need to know if it was my baby or not I did say he was my Son so what reason did you have to query it I guess that you are one of these people that think and say ALL bar girls cheat which drives a lot of people away from this forum

You didn't actually state that he was your son, which is why I wanted to clarify. I was showing a bit of concern and I don't usually comment on bar girl/relationship threads as I'm not really bothered what consenting adults involve themselves in.

[isanb]

I don't usually comment on bar girl/relationship threads as I'm not really bothered what consenting adults involve themselves in.

So why doing it tonight ? Your favorite bar girl is already busy

[TexasRanger]

I love my fans and critics in equal measure

[popmybubble]

I don't usually comment on bar girl/relationship threads as I'm not really bothered what consenting adults involve themselves in.

So why doing it tonight ? Your favorite bar girl is already busy

Because a child was mentioned. God.

[GraBangkok]

My relationship with my Thai (ex-bar girl) wife has been going on for over 30 years...started in 1977.

Is it happy...yes, it is.

Has it seen arguements and disagreements...yes, of course.

Have there been rough times.....yes, of course. We worked them out.

Have there been good times....yes there have. I remember them happily

And after those 30+ years I can honestly say I still love and respect her...and I know she does the same for me.

All in all, it's called REAL LIFE, and it's as good as you ever get.

By the way...this was the 3rd relationship I had in Thailand. The first two fell apart, but I got lucky with number 3.

Do you need to pay her family each month?

Just a quick response. No, she left her family long ago,before I met her. She never asked for money to support her parents or the "sick buffalo". She was quite independent in that regard.

She had 3 children by her first marriage. Her first husband left her with no money. I have raised the kids and put them through school. They are all now grown and working, There is a granddaughter that lives with the wife/kids. I have bought a house for them where I will live when I retire soon.

I think my marriage is as good and as lasting as the average marriage in the U.S. (my original home). Just look at the divorce rates. I could have done far worse.

Some "bar girls" are good, some are bad. I found a good one. Her whole life was devoted to her children...and ,by extesnsion, me as their surrogate father.

Nice one!

Respect!

[isanb]

I don't usually comment on bar girl/relationship threads as I'm not really bothered what consenting adults involve themselves in.

So why doing it tonight ? Your favorite bar girl is already busy

Because a child was mentioned. God.

God yes you are right, he said he has a son

please all OP if you have some children don't tell it to popmybubble if you don't want to have any comment

Fell better now ?

[offset]

It was the comment that has my GF slept around while with me that was uncalled for why did you need to know if it was my baby or not I did say he was my Son so what reason did you have to query it I guess that you are one of these people that think and say ALL bar girls cheat which drives a lot of people away from this forum

You didn't actually state that he was your son, which is why I wanted to clarify. I was showing a bit of concern and I don't usually comment on bar girl/relationship threads as I'm not really bothered what consenting adults involve themselves in.

I quote my original message "Been going with BG for over 2 years 20 years younger than me have 4 month baby boy" now if I do my sums right how would he not be my son unless she slept around while being with me and as for being concerned I can do without it if those are the type of comments that you are going to make

[popmybubble]

Been going with BG for over 2 years 20 years younger than me have 4 month baby boy she as always understood that I would not marry her or take her to England yes I pay her monthly. I see a lot of things that go on in the bar I see ladies yes ladies not girls (there are some bars in Pattaya for us older men) and what they get up to I also hear and see what some men get up to but there are a lot of men that have taken these ladies out of the bars and are very happy and a lot of them are not rich by any means but they all treat them like they would any other lady they knew

I quote my original message "Been going with BG for over 2 years 20 years younger than me have 4 month baby boy" now if I do my sums right how would he not be my son unless she slept around while being with me and as for being concerned I can do without it if those are the type of comments that you are going to make

This is getting a bit silly now- if you see your original post above, I have bolded where you mention your son, it does not say 'we have' it just says 'have' so that's why I questioned it as you could have meant she has. With the variety of relationships mentioned on here, I didn't want to assume it was your son. I'm sorry I offended you, but I wanted to get my facts right about whether it was your child or not, otherwise my next comment wouldn't really have applied to you. As for me saying your relationship was like a business transaction that was what it sounded like when you said you 'pay her monthly'. Right, I've explained my reasons behind the comment I made and see no need to continue this conversation further.

[cpofc]

There has been all sorts of research done into what acaemics in Thailand call "cross cutural marriges". Those between ex-pats/bar-girls (which they are a little more blunt about and call "sex workers") have some obvious, and not so obvious stats.

The overwhelming majority end in tears within the first couple years or so (doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that one out - most are a recipe for disaster from day 1) . Some last a little longer, say 3 - 5 years and even fewer last longer, say 5 - 7 years.

By year 10 something like 95% (plus) of partners in this group have gone their seperate ways.

Around year 10, there is a dramatic change (the exact figure might be 9years and some months, or 11years and some months - don't hold me to it, I can't remember what researchers have said, but the turning point is as close as damnit to 10). I think most folk understand that the longer a marrige lasts the greater the chance of the partners been able to make a success of it and the stats show 2 things about ex-pat/bar-girl marriages:

- if the marrige survives the +/- 10yr turning point, chances are something like 90%-95% it will go on to last for good.

- marriges in this group have a greater long term success chance than the percentage of Thai/Thai marriges which have survived the +/- 10year truning point.

Different disciplines will interpret that data in different ways - what I find interesting about it, is if you have married a bar-girl and get to year 10 in the marrige, then all the potential problem issues and negatives which are associated with bar-girls seem to become non-issues and your chances statistically are now as good as, if not better than those in Thai/Thai marriges.

No shortage of stats on ex-pat/Thai-girl partnerships.......... loads of info has been compiled over the years by social science researchers.

I will go along with that. Not that I have read any of these studies personally, but having seen them (interracial marriages in Australia) come and go by the score I could only but agree. 3-5 years would be average.

In our Thai restaurants in Aust we naturally had all Thai female stuff (excluding me of course). We employed Thais from many backgrounds. Students, newly arrived wives, visiting relations Etc., We had girls that had also married Singporean and Chinese Nationals who settled in Australia because neither one could get a visa for the other in their own countries. Yes we had Ex Bar Girls too. In my experience the Ex Bar girls cause alot of trouble compared to the others, and that's within their own Thai community I am talking about. Thai girls as we know are dreadful gossipers, but the ex bar Girls take it to a new level. They turn it into an art form - But of course I am speaking very generally for there were, and always will be, exceptions to the rule..

Marrying a bar girl is like taking a ticket in the lottery. (you could say that about any marriage these days though) Whilst the odds are against you, there are always going to be winners too.

With a divorce rate running at almost 50% in Australia within normal marriages, where there are more children of single parents than two parents sitting in every school class room in the country, it is hard enough as it is. For a start, to survive in Aust today, the bloke needs to have a bloody dam_n good job or his wife will have to go to work, as per the majority of the population. The average veteran Bar girl does not like to work alot and generally enjoys being a 'kept woman'.

A dirty job, but someone had to do it. I entered my first Sth East Asian bar (unsupervised) at the age of 16 and ceased... Well I guess I really never ceased. A delightful concept when you think about it, being younger than the girls themselves. I grew up with them. I have lived with them. In Singapore, Philippines, HK, and here. They were 'my mates'. When we talk about 'hookers', a Filippina Bar girl would kill you if you called her a hooker or prostitute. She was a 'Hospitality Girl' and saw herself differently than a mere lowly prostitute. I had alot of empathy for them to be honest. Unless you know what it is like to be really hungry, I mean really hungry, it is unfair to judge them all too harshly. To be raped and falling pregnant to an abusive uncle, elder cousin or step father and being forced from the family home because of the shame and being unable to speak up. There are some good ones out there and they are looking for a few good men too!

What was that Filippino song, in Tagalog, sung by the manila based group called Hot Dog? Back in 1976/7. Translated it was something like 'Even Bar Girls Fall In Love Too'. It was a huge hit at the time. Sometimes I think farangs broke just as many hearts as what the girls did themselves. The suicide rate of Filippina Bar girls by the early 80's was over the top. A handfull of diet diet suppressants, a bottle of Korex Cough Syrup, a large glass of brandy and a leap from a 5th story window was the order of the day!

One thing I will say, the bargirls in Thailand today are more 'hard core', i.e. loud mouthed, slutty, dishonest, impolite and certainly more 'aware', than they ever were. Different than when I was a young bloke. But that's progress I suppose.

what was it Max Ehrmann wrote?

Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

[offset]

This is getting a bit silly now- if you see your original post above, I have bolded where you mention your son, it does not say 'we have' it just says 'have' so that's why I questioned it as you could have meant she has. With the variety of relationships mentioned on here, I didn't want to assume it was your son. I'm sorry I offended you, but I wanted to get my facts right about whether it was your child or not, otherwise my next comment wouldn't really have applied to you. As for me saying your relationship was like a business transaction that was what it sounded like when you said you 'pay her monthly'. Right, I've explained my reasons behind the comment I made and see no need to continue this conversation further.

Thanks for the apology which has been accepted

[Jungian]

If your question is "DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE!" ??? Yes, but I have never even talked to a bar girl. I met my wife at a law firm in Bangkok where my friend works, we knew each other for 3 years before we got married and she got her own tourist visa to visit me in the USA to see my country and meet my family after which she returned to Thailand and later we arranged a K-1 visa which took about a month as everything was totally in order. I never paid a dime to anyone of her relatives to marry her nor was I ever asked to. My wife is an international real estate lawyer and we have been happily married for 10 years as of last month.

Lucky you.But aren't you the same guy that also buy's used Bmw's in Thailand at half the US prices.

Yes, but what does that have to do with this?

[teacup]

Thought I wouldn’t be posting anymore but I just have to chime in a bit here, if you don’t mind.

You guys here need to get a life, or go out there and join some yoga class at lumpini park at wee wee morning hours or something. Many of you here are so obsessed with the troll-like topics esp where the bargirl concerns. Some look down at them, some look down at farangs who married to them.

Does it matter if one’s wife used to be a bar girl or not, bargirl is an occupation too just like you’re slaving away your sweat to earn money in your “professional job” and/or sometimes giving up your dignity, having to bow to your boss too…except these girls are into grinding of the fresh business. Hey it’s not as easy as it looks, just imagine what goes behind those closed door, curtain closed, and all those spanking or yoga moves stuffs among other things they have to perform….must be annoying and tiring indeed..hmm.

Where am I?…oh right ….being successful married to the bargirl?

These girls are human too, and deserve a better life/happiness just like everyone else. Many times one’s occupation has no direct correlation to whether you will have a successful marriage or not. Most successful marriage is all about whatever works between both of them. What works between you and your wife, "may" not work between John and Noi, or Somchai and Porn….etcs

And how do you define “having a successful marriage” anyway. Do you know many times non-bargirls can better hide their greed than a bargirls too, that’s why you see many divorces among hi-so, and so-so group also.

Anyway still, it’s non of my or yours business who married to who, and I doubt it that many will go out with a loud speaker and say …Hey Hey look at my sexy bargirl wife, YayYay I’m married to her and I’m very Happy!!! ...Well duh duh..many happy couples just don’t spend times/sit around talking about how happy they are,.. they have a LIFE of their own you know. It’s the one that failed who feel the need to know how everyone else makes it and he didn’t. The better prediction of how successful marriage you will have is …to look within yourself too when thing don’t work out.

Just a short version of my thoughts here

Farewell

Edited July 4, 2009 by teacup

[Ulysses G.]

To the OP rather irrelevant topic to discuss because, if you didnt already know...All TV members are married to Hi-So, Thai Chinese, whose familes are well connected in the goverment , all wives have a minumum of one degree, but the vast majority have double degrees, with a few Phd's thrown in for good measure...

Assuredly, we have all landed rich, educated, white skinned beauties that we trade in every 3years, or so.

[neverdie]

Thought I wouldn't be posting anymore but I just have to chime in a bit here, if you don't mind.

You guys here need to get a life, or go out there and join some yoga class at lumpini park at wee wee morning hours or something. Many of you here are so obsessed with the troll-like topics esp where the bargirl concerns. Some look down at them, some look down at farangs who married to them.

Does it matter if one's wife used to be a bar girl or not, bargirl is an occupation too just like you're slaving away your sweat to earn money in your "professional job" and/or sometimes giving up your dignity, having to bow to your boss too…except these girls are into grinding of the fresh business. Hey it's not as easy as it looks, just imagine what goes behind those closed door, curtain closed, and all those spanking or yoga moves stuffs among other things they have to perform….must be annoying and tiring indeed..hmm.

Where am I?…oh right ….being successful married to the bargirl?

These girls are human too, and deserve a better life/happiness just like everyone else. Many times one's occupation has no direct correlation to whether you will have a successful marriage or not. Most successful marriage is all about whatever works between both of them. What works between you and your wife, "may" not work between John and Noi, or Somchai and Porn….etcs

And how do you define "having a successful marriage" anyway. Do you know many times non-bargirls can better hide their greed than a bargirls too, that's why you see many divorces among hi-so, and so-so group also.

Anyway still, it's non of my or yours business who married to who, and I doubt it that many will go out with a loud speaker and say …Hey Hey look at my sexy bargirl wife, YayYay I'm married to her and I'm very Happy!!! ...Well duh duh..many happy couples just don't spend times/sit around talking about how happy they are,.. they have a LIFE of their own you know. It's the one that failed who feel the need to know how everyone else makes it and he didn't. The better prediction of how successful marriage you will have is …to look within yourself too when thing don't work out.

Just a short version of my thoughts here

Farewell

all those spankings or yoga moves stuffs

Teacup, what is going on @ ur place?

Goodbye & Goodriddance!

[neverdie]

If your question is "DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE!" ??? Yes, but I have never even talked to a bar girl. I met my wife at a law firm in Bangkok where my friend works, we knew each other for 3 years before we got married and she got her own tourist visa to visit me in the USA to see my country and meet my family after which she returned to Thailand and later we arranged a K-1 visa which took about a month as everything was totally in order. I never paid a dime to anyone of her relatives to marry her nor was I ever asked to. My wife is an international real estate lawyer and we have been happily married for 10 years as of last month.

Wait a minute!...

Didn't you post this a few weeks ago Jungian?

"Generally speaking you have to earn enough money to bring (support) someone (in) to the USA. As I recall when my wife came to the USA I had to show a minimum of like $15,000 per which is quite weak as I see it, I make more than that in Thailand! I'm sure with the current financial crisis in the US the minimum has gone up but the average American in come is $17,428. so it shouldn't be more than that."

So that indicates that you had to garantee her visa right? So in actual fact she DID NOT get her visa on her own merits!

Funny, Doctor Doolittle seems to have dodged this question?

Come on Jungian, stick to the 'story' line!

[robblok]

Funny, Doctor Doolittle seems to have dodged this question?

Come on Jungian, stick to the 'story' line!

Thats why i dont make up stuff hard to remember the lies.

Not saying that this is the case here.

[neverdie]

Funny, Doctor Doolittle seems to have dodged this question?

Come on Jungian, stick to the 'story' line!

Thats why i dont make up stuff hard to remember the lies.

Not saying that this is the case here.

Seriously though, hes aparently a doctor with a fleet of BMW's (that he bought at half price) & a Hi-So Chinese Thai Wife that owns her own Multi-million satang Law Firm, with 5 good looking children that always get straigh A's and a Chihauhau that can play the Banjo & tap dance at the same time. Come on, I may have been born at nite time, but it wasnt last nite.

Edited July 4, 2009 by neverdie

[Livinginexile]

If your question is "DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE!" ??? Yes, but I have never even talked to a bar girl. I met my wife at a law firm in Bangkok where my friend works, we knew each other for 3 years before we got married and she got her own tourist visa to visit me in the USA to see my country and meet my family after which she returned to Thailand and later we arranged a K-1 visa which took about a month as everything was totally in order. I never paid a dime to anyone of her relatives to marry her nor was I ever asked to. My wife is an international real estate lawyer and we have been happily married for 10 years as of last month.

Wait a minute!...

Didn't you post this a few weeks ago Jungian?

"Generally speaking you have to earn enough money to bring (support) someone (in) to the USA. As I recall when my wife came to the USA I had to show a minimum of like $15,000 per which is quite weak as I see it, I make more than that in Thailand! I'm sure with the current financial crisis in the US the minimum has gone up but the average American in come is $17,428. so it shouldn't be more than that."

So that indicates that you had to garantee her visa right? So in actual fact she DID NOT get her visa on her own merits!

Funny, Doctor Doolittle seems to have dodged this question?

Come on Jungian, stick to the 'story' line!

If he had to show immigration $15,000 that means they regarded her as "high risk of not returning home". It also idicates that his wife did not have a job or owned property and was deemed as having "no reason" to return home.

I think someone is telling porkies here

Jungian says his wife is

[neverdie]

Jungian, Why do i get the feeling you are ignoring us?

[givenall]

Bpraim1 - are you asking this because you are married to one? Just curious...

Just find yourself a nice girl that does not work in the bar or massage places. It is very easy, meet people in the shopping center, coffee shops, and also convenient store etc.

Just be careful

[Jungian]

If your question is "DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE!" ??? Yes, but I have never even talked to a bar girl. I met my wife at a law firm in Bangkok where my friend works, we knew each other for 3 years before we got married and she got her own tourist visa to visit me in the USA to see my country and meet my family after which she returned to Thailand and later we arranged a K-1 visa which took about a month as everything was totally in order. I never paid a dime to anyone of her relatives to marry her nor was I ever asked to. My wife is an international real estate lawyer and we have been happily married for 10 years as of last month.

Wait a minute!...

Didn't you post this a few weeks ago Jungian?

"Generally speaking you have to earn enough money to bring (support) someone (in) to the USA. As I recall when my wife came to the USA I had to show a minimum of like $15,000 per which is quite weak as I see it, I make more than that in Thailand! I'm sure with the current financial crisis in the US the minimum has gone up but the average American in come is $17,428. so it shouldn't be more than that."

So that indicates that you had to garantee her visa right? So in actual fact she DID NOT get her visa on her own merits!

Funny, Doctor Doolittle seems to have dodged this question?

Come on Jungian, stick to the 'story' line!

I'm not sure what all the personal attacks are all about but... as far as what I mentioned about bringing someone to the USA was there is there is a minimum income level I don't recall ever disclosing what my salary was or was not and what I stated was a simple fact about immigration to the USA on a K-1 visa, it doesn't matter if you are a 7-11 employee or a fortune 500 company employee you need to be above the poverty margin for the state in which you reside this was my comment and the law, neither has changed. As I mentioned and for some reason you felt it would make me look bad to quote it "I had to show a minimum of like $15,000 per which is quite weak" meaning what it says $15,000 per year is squat we call it "cost of living wage" in Pennsylvania I can't even imagine what you didn't understand about that statement other than you want to be bitter and belittle me for what reason I have no idea, the point was you need a minimum income level to get an approval.

As far as my medical credentials go please feel free to question them I believe all the medical advice I have given on Thai Visa has been sound and reasonable and I have treated quite a few members on this forum free of charge due to their financial situation with on strings attached. Although I feel no obligation to prove anything to anyone you are welcome to PM me and I will be happy to invite you to my place of employment for a cup of coffee and discuss whatever you want to know free of charge, not that I feel obligated to prove anything but if you want to take this course in discrediting me get the facts first or keep silent.

As far as my wife getting a visa. Read before you insult and attack and quite frankly you have insulted me sir or madam and I do not take it lightly. She got a tourist visa on her own as I stated to visit my family and I. I as an American citizen had to apply for a K-1 visa before we could marry and she could enter the USA with the intention to be married. What didn't you understand about my past post? I was quite clear about what I said and only trying to be helpful where as you are making personal attacks and accusations based on the fact you want to hurt my feelings??? Get a life.

Edited July 4, 2009 by Jungian

[Jungian]

Jungian, Why do i get the feeling you are ignoring us?

Because you sit on Thai Visa all day waiting for a response to your nonsense thinking no one else has a life because you don't?

[Jungian]

Funny, Doctor Doolittle seems to have dodged this question?

Come on Jungian, stick to the 'story' line!

Thats why i dont make up stuff hard to remember the lies.

Not saying that this is the case here.

Seriously though, hes aparently a doctor with a fleet of BMW's (that he bought at half price) & a Hi-So Chinese Thai Wife that owns her own Multi-million satang Law Firm, with 5 good looking children that always get straigh A's and a Chihauhau that can play the Banjo & tap dance at the same time. Come on, I may have been born at nite time, but it wasnt last nite.

And you made this all up because...? I have 2 USED BMW's here in Thailand, so? My wife is a lawyer, so? I am a doctor, so? And you made the rest up because...? If you're an English teacher I will be the one having a laugh.