Do You Have A Succesfull Marriage To A Bar Girl

[neverdie]

I'm not married. I couldnt stand being married to a BG because of all that crap talk they go on with. I like to be able to converse with a female (just occassionaly) & words like "Sexy Man" "Hello handsome man" and "Welcome" dont really cut it. Ohh and I nearly forgot the "Dakling" (Monkeys ass)

Perhaps Im not married because Im too ugly and cranky.

[jackdanielsesq]

me luv you long time

Sung to the RS Some Girls ....

Edited July 3, 2009 by jackdanielsesq

[tmd5855]

Quite a few years back, I lived in an apartment building not far from Patpong. The building was inhabited by girls (and guys) who worked in the bars--most were nice, some less so. The expat population was made up primarily of people who enjoyed the night life. I can't give you an exact statistic, but around 90% of them had at least one overseas boyfriend sending them money, some had two or three. Of the ones I knew, eventually well over 25% married foreigners. And there were a lot of them.

These marriages included several male co-workers that I knew. Of course, the first item of business was to 'rehabilitate' the Mrs. Invariably, they worked 'in an office on Silom.' A few of the wives who were a bit more jaded and less mentally endowed, could only be passed off as having worked in a restaurant. There were more lies, stories and spin than a government office going around. But most everyone new.

As you can see from this thread, there's a fair amount of interest, but not a lot of revealing information.

Sorry folks, but you can't make a silk purse out a sows ear. Cinderella was a fairy tale and "Pretty Woman" was just a movie. Real life is different.

My ex-bar wife now runs a 7/11. Accountancy, stock levels and man management skills are the minimum needed. She does quite well.

Pom sang satang

[popmybubble]

Been going with BG for over 2 years 20 years younger than me have 4 month baby boy she as always understood that I would not marry her or take her to England yes I pay her monthly.

Are you the father of this baby? If so, I think it's unfair that you chose to have a kid, when your relationship with his mother appears to be a business transaction.

[geriatrickid]

Instead of the focus being on the woman, how about it being on the man. If one has to go for the bG type it suggests the man is;

a) unable to meet regular women or,

regular women are not interested, or

c) the guy is an all around loser and cannot do better or,

d) he's just shy an over worked and not into the hassle of convenional dating or,

d) the girl really was the gold nugget in the sand.

In any event, if someone can find happiness that's all that matters. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, if this is how one man can find happiness and live out his remaining years with a bit of love, joy and a smile, then who could argue against that? The more people find he love of their lives, the more peace and prosperity there will be.

[tmd5855]

Not one person here has a girl from a bar so far, so why worry, it is rare.

I'm surprised.

Probably because they believe others will think unkindly of them. And, they don't want any possible shame brought on their wives by posting on the internet.

I COULD have easily married two different Thai women who worked in bars at one point in their lives and we'd probably live quite happily, but I'm just not into getting married any more. I've done that twice with western women. And, not getting married to some woman 30 or 40 years junior to me is for the woman's sake, not my own. I wouldn't want them to be tied down to some old fart 15 years from now when they are still in the prime of their life.

I know two farang men in Thailand that are happily married to ex-bar girls after 10 years of marriage. They go through the usual problems that ALL couples go through when living together, but other than that they've never had a bad word to say about their wives who they obviously adore.

Women who work in bars can be no different than women anywhere. There are the great ones and the nasty ones, and everything in between. The only real difference between women who work in bars and women who work elsewhere, is the bar girls have built a necessary shell around their hearts. They've been hurt too many times to trust anyone completely. And trust is necessary to make a marriage work. The bar girls ALL have feelings and it takes a little time to get to know them before you begin to understand what they are going through.

By the way, Nurse made some very good posts that I agree with. So did cpofc and toybits.

I also agree. You have put down some valid, pertinent points for thought.

If those do not want to look through other eyes, then they are the loser.(my opinion only)

[rixalex]

How long have you been here ?

A long time. You?

Why are you confusing Western so-called 'principles' with Thai culture. I doubt any girl working in a bar - or karaoke etc, etc - would consider that she had lost any dignity or pride.

I agree there are differences, but to say that for Thai people there is no loss of pride by the selling of ones body is complete nonsense - unless of course the person had no pride to start with.

This is Thailand, your Puritanical opinions do not fit with the culture or practicalities of the country.

I'm not puritanical but i do have values and even if those values weren't shared by the country i were residing in, it wouldn't cause me to throw my values out the window and instantly adopt new ones - values don't work that way - well not if you believe in them.

[Datsun240Z]

I agree there are differences, but to say that for Thai people there is no loss of pride by the selling of ones body is complete nonsense - unless of course the person had no pride to start with.

Buddha states the body is the less important.

[sanmiguellight]

I stayed with a girl who worked in a bar for 3 months whilst she was waiting to go to Europe this was 5 years ago. I didnt pay her 1 baht and she didnt ask for anything which kind of made the relationship a little more normal.

She was without doubt the kindest nicest girl ive ever stayed whether Thai or Farang ..... She's been away for 5 years now and doesnt want to come back to LOS, she works part time in a supermarket, keeps away from most other Thai girls where she lives as she says theyre all bullsh7tters, doesnt smoke or drink and is happily married to the guy who took her to Europe and from what i can see will remain loyal to him.

Thing is whether its because i know more about the scene then back then but from what i can see the girls are becoming too hardened and devious very quickly ..... and there seems like there are less girls from the farm who are doing it to support her family or to find a nice husband and be content. ........ it seems as if more and more are druggy's supporting their Thai hubby/bf or are in it to rip off as many farangs as they possibly can.

One reason i now wouldnt marry a bargirl is i cant tell which girls are genuine and which ones arent.

Edited July 3, 2009 by sanmiguellight

[Birdman]

Surely the good marriages will predominate on a poll at TV, 'cause, and that's true, not too few husbands are not allowed to use TV by their Thai ex bg wifes. So why is that?

[bravingbangkok]

Bar Girl ? Bar Girl ? how could you suggest any of us TV members have done such a thing, no we are all married to white skinned Thai/Chinese hi-so ladies.

Edited July 3, 2009 by bravingbangkok

[canuckamuck]

I am married and happy but because I did not marry a tart I can't answer your poll.

Might be the worst poll yet. Also this is a topic that is generally outside of TV rules

[Livinginexile]

I once had a Thai girlfriend who worked in a bar.

We were together for about a year untill she married her UK fiance.

She was straight up with me right from the begining and she never hit me up even for 1 bht.

Her UK boyfriend however was sending her a fortune every month. I was allways amazed at how she would tell me everything about this guy, how she didn't love him but he had money and was willing to suport her and her family.

From time to time he would call when I was with her, even in the bedroom together she would tell him how much she loved him and missed him and then hang up and act like it was completely normal.

A year or so after she went back to UK with him I got an email from her saying it was over and she was back in Thailand, she asked me to give her a call next time I was in Bkk.

Last I heard she had another UK husband.

[JohnGotti]

Sounds like most of you ended up with the BG's cousin. Similar family and education background, etc.

[basjke]

If your question is "DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE!" ??? Yes, but I have never even talked to a bar girl. I met my wife at a law firm in Bangkok where my friend works, we knew each other for 3 years before we got married and she got her own tourist visa to visit me in the USA to see my country and meet my family after which she returned to Thailand and later we arranged a K-1 visa which took about a month as everything was totally in order. I never paid a dime to anyone of her relatives to marry her nor was I ever asked to. My wife is an international real estate lawyer and we have been happily married for 10 years as of last month.

Lucky you.But aren't you the same guy that also buy's used Bmw's in Thailand at half the US prices.

[JohnGotti]

how do you buy bmws for half the us price?

[The Philosopher]

I am just curious as to how many men got to a bar and pick up a lady and then later marry them.

With this question I also want the answer of a good marriage,

You trust your partner

Your partner trusts you

You don't need to pay her off "IE" money for spa's, gold, and sorry I spent all night at the gogo bar mnoey

You don't have a gig on the side

You don't need a gig on the side

She doesn't ask for money monthly

She doesn't to to hurt or kill you " awake or in your sleep"

You live like a normal married couple, well what normal is to the the flock anyway.

I ask this question because daily on here there are men, crying...

I have lost everything...

She took the kids and wants money...

She took my house...

Her family wants XXXXX sin sod, but she has 16 kids with 5 different men. Realy this marriage will work!

So on and so on.... Blah blah blah

I have been married to a Thai girl for 24 years when we met she was 18 and I was 26 - I fell in love with her the first minute I saw her and love her the same today- we have a wonderful 12 year old son who turns everyones head where ever we go. We could not be happier. We have had a serious arguement 5 times in 24 years. We have now been living in the uk for 12 years after living together in Saudi and Dubai. I was fifty this year and I still feel like 26.

[basjke]

how do you buy bmws for half the us price?

I don't know,you should ask Jungian according to this post of him he can.Bmw's at hald the US value

Edit:Link adjusted

Edited July 3, 2009 by basjke

[Livinginexile]

If your question is "DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE!" ??? Yes, but I have never even talked to a bar girl. I met my wife at a law firm in Bangkok where my friend works, we knew each other for 3 years before we got married and she got her own tourist visa to visit me in the USA to see my country and meet my family after which she returned to Thailand and later we arranged a K-1 visa which took about a month as everything was totally in order. I never paid a dime to anyone of her relatives to marry her nor was I ever asked to. My wife is an international real estate lawyer and we have been happily married for 10 years as of last month.

Wait a minute!...

Didn't you post this a few weeks ago Jungian?

"Generally speaking you have to earn enough money to bring (support) someone (in) to the USA. As I recall when my wife came to the USA I had to show a minimum of like $15,000 per which is quite weak as I see it, I make more than that in Thailand! I'm sure with the current financial crisis in the US the minimum has gone up but the average American in come is $17,428. so it shouldn't be more than that."

So that indicates that you had to garantee her visa right? So in actual fact she DID NOT get her visa on her own merits!

[IMA_FARANG]

My relationship with my Thai (ex-bar girl) wife has been going on for over 30 years...started in 1977.

Is it happy...yes, it is.

Has it seen arguements and disagreements...yes, of course.

Have there been rough times.....yes, of course. We worked them out.

Have there been good times....yes there have. I remember them happily

And after those 30+ years I can honestly say I still love and respect her...and I know she does the same for me.

All in all, it's called REAL LIFE, and it's as good as you ever get.

By the way...this was the 3rd relationship I had in Thailand. The first two fell apart, but I got lucky with number 3.

[Bobsyouruncle]

My relationship with my Thai (ex-bar girl) wife has been going on for over 30 years...started in 1977.

Is it happy...yes, it is.

Has it seen arguements and disagreements...yes, of course.

Have there been rough times.....yes, of course. We worked them out.

Have there been good times....yes there have. I remember them happily

And after those 30+ years I can honestly say I still love and respect her...and I know she does the same for me.

All in all, it's called REAL LIFE, and it's as good as you ever get.

By the way...this was the 3rd relationship I had in Thailand. The first two fell apart, but I got lucky with number 3.

Do you need to pay her family each month?

[IMA_FARANG]

My relationship with my Thai (ex-bar girl) wife has been going on for over 30 years...started in 1977.

Is it happy...yes, it is.

Has it seen arguements and disagreements...yes, of course.

Have there been rough times.....yes, of course. We worked them out.

Have there been good times....yes there have. I remember them happily

And after those 30+ years I can honestly say I still love and respect her...and I know she does the same for me.

All in all, it's called REAL LIFE, and it's as good as you ever get.

By the way...this was the 3rd relationship I had in Thailand. The first two fell apart, but I got lucky with number 3.

Do you need to pay her family each month?

Just a quick response. No, she left her family long ago,before I met her. She never asked for money to support her parents or the "sick buffalo". She was quite independent in that regard.

She had 3 children by her first marriage. Her first husband left her with no money. I have raised the kids and put them through school. They are all now grown and working, There is a granddaughter that lives with the wife/kids. I have bought a house for them where I will live when I retire soon.

I think my marriage is as good and as lasting as the average marriage in the U.S. (my original home). Just look at the divorce rates. I could have done far worse.

Some "bar girls" are good, some are bad. I found a good one. Her whole life was devoted to her children...and ,by extesnsion, me as their surrogate father.

[tmd5855]

My relationship with my Thai (ex-bar girl) wife has been going on for over 30 years...started in 1977.

Is it happy...yes, it is.

Has it seen arguements and disagreements...yes, of course.

Have there been rough times.....yes, of course. We worked them out.

Have there been good times....yes there have. I remember them happily

And after those 30+ years I can honestly say I still love and respect her...and I know she does the same for me.

All in all, it's called REAL LIFE, and it's as good as you ever get.

By the way...this was the 3rd relationship I had in Thailand. The first two fell apart, but I got lucky with number 3.

Do you need to pay her family each month?

Just a quick response. No, she left her family long ago,before I met her. She never asked for money to support her parents or the "sick buffalo". She was quite independent in that regard.

She had 3 children by her first marriage. Her first husband left her with no money. I have raised the kids and put them through school. They are all now grown and working, There is a granddaughter that lives with the wife/kids. I have bought a house for them where I will live when I retire soon.

I think my marriage is as good and as lasting as the average marriage in the U.S. (my original home). Just look at the divorce rates. I could have done far worse.

Some "bar girls" are good, some are bad. I found a good one. Her whole life was devoted to her children...and ,by extesnsion, me as their surrogate father.

Good for you, well done.

[MikeSoi11]

some girl can be good and bad in same time. everyone like to talk about their girl as perfect but then the perfect girl turns into a nightmare. every man try to make himself look bigger than he is.

[offset]

Been going with BG for over 2 years 20 years younger than me have 4 month baby boy she as always understood that I would not marry her or take her to England yes I pay her monthly.

Are you the father of this baby? If so, I think it's unfair that you chose to have a kid, when your relationship with his mother appears to be a business transaction.

Answer to your first question what it got to do with you, and nobody asked whether I was right to have a baby or not but to clear a few things up

I will never marry again my choice and she is very happy in Thailand so the question of going to England never comes up but in time I intend to take them both on a holiday visit for my family to see both of them (and yes they know what she used to do)

I had a wife for over 30 years in the UK paid her monthly as well no children she could not have any but would that of have been wrong if I had any children I know in Thailand whatever happens to me or my GF the baby will be looked after one way or the other (which I could not of had said about the UK) my GF will never have to work again and neither will my Son

I cannot remember saying whether I was in love with this lady (which I kept out of the post on purpose) or whether she loves me so what right have you got to presume that it is a business relationship or not

[Dakhar]

WOW only 5 responses....still waiting for the anally retentive, judgemental brigade to start....

To the OP rather irrelevant topic to discuss because, if you didnt already know...All TV members are married to Hi-So, Thai Chinese, whose familes are well connected in the goverment , all wives have a minumum of one degree, but the vast majority have double degrees, with a few Phd's thrown in for good measure...

As we know none of our esteemed TV members frequent beers bar, thats for low life farangs or even worse visa runners..

Your last paragraph intrigues me...as who is to say the descriptions you give just apply to bargirls, known of this happening to farangs who have married so called Hi-So wives who have never been near a beerbar...

Just because a wife hasnt come out of bar doesnt mean you will not be ripped off and lose everything...its not that clean cut....

Your question is full of generalisations

I can testify to that.... married a woman that now has 2 degrees, and she is for sure not from the bar scene.... I thinkt he question is.... would I have been better off marrying someone from the bar scene......>

[duceahearts]

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not having a pop at anybody or their wife just let me say that 3 years ago I met a young bar girl who was paying her way thru university (Chiang Mai) by whoring in Pattaya during the vacation breaks. Her and a couple of other girls travelled down to Pattaya so that their families wouldn’t find out what they were doing.

Me, I don’t give a rats arse what my wife/girl friend did before we met only what they do after we met.

[sanmiguellight]

Very true Duceahearts ..... many that have met their wife in a nightclub that is on the whole frequented by farang males must quietly wonder how they managed to pull their mrs so easily!

[BigSnake]

Yep, many Bar girls turn into, Buffalo Heads after marriage. Nuff said

Edited July 3, 2009 by BigSnake

[BigSnake]

how do you buy bmws for half the us price?

Would keep a BMW if it was given to me.