Do You Have A Succesfull Marriage To A Bar Girl

[cdnvic]

Not one person here has a girl from a bar so far, so why worry, it is rare.

I'm surprised.

If you'd seen the response that most of them get over the past five years or so, I don't blame them for being quiet. If they're happy and content with their marriages I assume they're sick of these kinds of questions and the responses that come from them. If it didn't work out for them I doubt they are in a hurry to receive a barrage of "I told you so" from anonymous people.

Seeing more than a few of these marriages play out I think that who the girl was before she started working in a bar makes more difference than the profession itself. Meeting her family will usually tell you a lot about this. If they are freeloading and devious, look out, but if they seem pretty honest and grounded you may have a chance. (This applies regardless of whether she works in a bar or not.) Remember, prostitution may carry somewhat of a stigma in Thailand, but it's not the moral stigma that it carries in the west, it's more class-based. A middle-classed Thai may look somewhat dismissively at a bar girl, but he probably holds a similar attitude to a farm worker. He'll still use the parlours though, just as he'll still eat the rice.

[Sakeopete]

We are all married to bar girls, that is the way every Thai and foreigner alike will see you when your with a Thai woman live with it. People shouldn't judge Thai/Pinas etc so harshly. They don't have government social programs like developed countries many sell their bodies because of poverty not greed or drug addiction. Foreigners who come from rich countries should embarrassed of their local prostitutes who work because of greed or drug addiction.

[Chaimai]

Not one person here has a girl from a bar so far, so why worry, it is rare.

I'm surprised.

I have to admit that, after a few beers, I did - on one occasion - rent one for a short time.

Does that mean I will go to hel_l ??

[473geo]

Well at this point the poll is telling us that 70% of marriages to bar girls are good

I guess we will just have to put down the other 30% to farangs who can't hold a marriage together......

So it is official....bar girls are great wife material........

[basjke]

Jungian, Why do i get the feeling you are ignoring us?

Because you sit on Thai Visa all day waiting for a response to your nonsense thinking no one else has a life because you don't?

Well I think 459 posts in 4 months is not bad either.To answer your question what the half price Bmw had to do with your other post,from your post history you always seem to be able to realise things that the majority of long time expats doubt very much due to their experience in Thailand.

Buying a BMW in Thailand at half the price of the US value is simply an impossible thing so that why I doubt also the "qualifications" of your other half.

I haven't been through your posts,but some people clearly have,and it seems that you also contradict your own statements from time to time,so another reason to doubt the validity of them.

Now that I read in this topic that you claim to be a doctor and you live in chiang mai I hope you are not the subject of the other topic about the chiang mai doctor

edit:speling

Edited July 4, 2009 by basjke

[idrankwhat]

This is pretty stupid don't ya think? I doubt anyone has the intestinal fortitude to answer honestly anyway.

[473geo]

This is pretty stupid don't ya think? I doubt anyone has the intestinal fortitude to answer honestly anyway.

Dear dear......to hold such a low opinion of TV members......

[dave_boo]

Well, I read through the thread 'cuz I was bored, but in defense of our good doctor with how ever many BMWs in Chiang Mai, he is quite correct about the requirement to have at least 15 000 USD annual salary (which I also agree with is peanuts and probably should be admended upwards...).

If it was a K1, them's the rules-to marry someone in the States the person in the States has to have at least the amount listed previously. If it was a visitor visa that his lady was applying for, then no way. While someone CAN sponsor another's visit to the States, if the person that is applying for the Visa is consider a high risk for failure to leave at the end of their visa, it doesn't matter the situation of the finances of the guarantor. The applicant will not be accepted.

If an applicant can demonstrate a proponderance of evidence that they shall return to their native country, but the finances for their duration in the States are a bit less than what the officer thinks are necessary, than a 'sponsor' may sway the decision. However, AFAIK, there's no set USD amount; basically it's you're assuming responsibility for paying hospitals/airline tickets/etc should anything arise.

And it's too late and I'm too lazy/tired to spell check. Obviously I'm not an English teacher.

[Jungian]

Jungian, Why do i get the feeling you are ignoring us?

Because you sit on Thai Visa all day waiting for a response to your nonsense thinking no one else has a life because you don't?

Well I think 459 posts in 4 months is not bad either.To answer your question what the half price Bmw had to do with your other post,from your post history you always seem to be able to realise things that the majority of long time expats doubt very much due to their experience in Thailand.

Buying a BMW in Thailand at half the price of the US value is simply an impossible thing so that why I doubt also the "qualifications" of your other half.

I haven't been through your posts,but some people clearly have,and it seems that you also contradict your own statements from time to time,so another reason to doubt the validity of them.

Now that I read in this topic that you claim to be a doctor and you live in chiang mai I hope you are not the subject of the other topic about the chiang mai doctor

edit:speling

I have so many posts simply because I quit smoking and was trying to keep myself busy for the last few months which is also the reason I am up so late insomnia from nicotine withdraw, coming off the gum.

No, I have nothing to do with the Chiang Mai doctor scam and I am not in private practice, I work for an institution. There are 2 other doctors on Thai Visa I know quite well that can vouch for me (I'm not asking them to) and I have treated quite a few Thai Visa members free of charge that could not afford treatment which after this abuse I will no longer do. I have also transferred prescriptions from the USA to Thailand free of charge to help people out on Thai Visa which I will also no longer do. I have given sound medical advice on this forum and helped many people, yeah you got it... which I will also no longer do. This is thanks to you and your big mouth friends, look before you leap.

I went through my posts and I did not contradict myself, you admit in this post to never have read them but based your opinion on hearsay go back and see with the people bashing me have posted and see their IQ level they will post anything hurtful or to discredit someone just to make themselves feel in command.

And yes, you can buy a USED BMW as I mentioned in Thailand for 1/2 the cost of a USED BMW in the USA because the Thais don't want them, they only want new ones for status, they are afraid of the repair bills which if you had actually took the time to read one of my posts that is exactly what I said BMW's do not hold their value in Thailand as they do in the USA. I never said I had a fleet of BMW's and I never even mentioned how much I paid for them.

I'm just trying to be friendly, even helpful, maybe meet some nice people but I can see you all have it figured out I'm the bad guy up to... what, what could I possibly gain by speaking crap.

I will leave you with this someone got my number from this forum that was suicidal at 2:00 AM one morning and called me, I stayed up all night and helped them, I even went into the city and met them to make sure they were okay. Thanks to you all that will never happen again, I hope you keep that in mind and you think about it every time before you say something or post something insulting or hurtful, call it Karma.

[sbk]

I think this has gone on quite long enough, lets drop the personal attacks, thanks.

[IanForbes]

I think this has gone on quite long enough, lets drop the personal attacks, thanks.

What's wrong, sbk, don't you want to earn that big salary they are paying you to baby sit us crazies?

[MichaelSong]

I don't know if I should chime in, since I am not even married (yet). But what I am seeing on TV is that alot of people are very happily married to a Thai (bar girl or not). The same people on TV who post about having a happy marriage in Thailand, are, interestingly some of the more intelligent posters on this forum. The people who complain about how psychotic their Thai wives/GF's are, how they got ripped off, or how they are going to dump their falang wife of 30 years and move in with a Thai girl who they have known for a week and who is 20 years younger then them, are generally posters who are new to this forum, and whose posts demonstrate a lack of proper English grammar or education. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Sorry my english is not that good , submaniac (nomen sit omen !) , I thought this forum is international, and small mistakes can be accepted , but if you prefer to continue in french, dutch, german , italian , or even latin , I will galdly reply

[dbrenn]

I am just curious as to how many men got to a bar and pick up a lady and then later marry them.

With this question I also want the answer of a good marriage,

You trust your partner

Your partner trusts you

You don't need to pay her off "IE" money for spa's, gold, and sorry I spent all night at the gogo bar mnoey

You don't have a gig on the side

You don't need a gig on the side

She doesn't ask for money monthly

Hmm - now, if you take a girl out of a bar and marry her, what is she supposed to do for money if you don't give her a regular allowance? How will she make a living? Working on the side?

You were rather emphatic in your denial that this applies to you, and you are using the old 'a friend of mine' line...

Marriages to bar girls can be successful, but you have to bear in mind the circumstances that got her into the bar in the first place, which may include one or more of: alcohol, drugs, gambling, awful friends, poverty, family to support, scrounging relatives or deadbeat boyfriends, criminality or criminal associations, etc. Will these problems disappear miraculously just because she ties the knot with you?

Edited July 5, 2009 by dbrenn

[rixalex]

I have so many posts simply because I quit smoking and was trying to keep myself busy for the last few months which is also the reason I am up so late insomnia from nicotine withdraw, coming off the gum.

No, I have nothing to do with the Chiang Mai doctor scam and I am not in private practice, I work for an institution. There are 2 other doctors on Thai Visa I know quite well that can vouch for me (I'm not asking them to) and I have treated quite a few Thai Visa members free of charge that could not afford treatment which after this abuse I will no longer do. I have also transferred prescriptions from the USA to Thailand free of charge to help people out on Thai Visa which I will also no longer do. I have given sound medical advice on this forum and helped many people, yeah you got it... which I will also no longer do. This is thanks to you and your big mouth friends, look before you leap.

I went through my posts and I did not contradict myself, you admit in this post to never have read them but based your opinion on hearsay go back and see with the people bashing me have posted and see their IQ level they will post anything hurtful or to discredit someone just to make themselves feel in command.

And yes, you can buy a USED BMW as I mentioned in Thailand for 1/2 the cost of a USED BMW in the USA because the Thais don't want them, they only want new ones for status, they are afraid of the repair bills which if you had actually took the time to read one of my posts that is exactly what I said BMW's do not hold their value in Thailand as they do in the USA. I never said I had a fleet of BMW's and I never even mentioned how much I paid for them.

I'm just trying to be friendly, even helpful, maybe meet some nice people but I can see you all have it figured out I'm the bad guy up to... what, what could I possibly gain by speaking crap.

I will leave you with this someone got my number from this forum that was suicidal at 2:00 AM one morning and called me, I stayed up all night and helped them, I even went into the city and met them to make sure they were okay. Thanks to you all that will never happen again, I hope you keep that in mind and you think about it every time before you say something or post something insulting or hurtful, call it Karma.

So to get back at some people whom you consider to be no-hopers who spend their time winding-up good honest people like yourself, you are going to stop helping people who are genuinely and desperately in need - and you'd even deny help to someone in a life or death situation - all just to prove a point to these people who mean so little to you? That's a funny sort of revenge don't you think?

If anything that you have wrote on this forum is likely to raise suspicions concerning you occupation, it's a childish reaction like that, that will.

P.S. Concerning the cheap BMs, can you give some examples, like model, year and price?

[richm7]

There has been all sorts of research done into what acaemics in Thailand call "cross cutural marriges". Those between ex-pats/bar-girls (which they are a little more blunt about and call "sex workers") have some obvious, and not so obvious stats.

The overwhelming majority end in tears within the first couple years or so (doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that one out - most are a recipe for disaster from day 1) . Some last a little longer, say 3 - 5 years and even fewer last longer, say 5 - 7 years.

By year 10 something like 95% (plus) of partners in this group have gone their seperate ways.

Around year 10, there is a dramatic change (the exact figure might be 9years and some months, or 11years and some months - don't hold me to it, I can't remember what researchers have said, but the turning point is as close as damnit to 10). I think most folk understand that the longer a marrige lasts the greater the chance of the partners been able to make a success of it and the stats show 2 things about ex-pat/bar-girl marriages:

- if the marrige survives the +/- 10yr turning point, chances are something like 90%-95% it will go on to last for good.

- marriges in this group have a greater long term success chance than the percentage of Thai/Thai marriges which have survived the +/- 10year truning point.

Different disciplines will interpret that data in different ways - what I find interesting about it, is if you have married a bar-girl and get to year 10 in the marrige, then all the potential problem issues and negatives which are associated with bar-girls seem to become non-issues and your chances statistically are now as good as, if not better than those in Thai/Thai marriges.

No shortage of stats on ex-pat/Thai-girl partnerships.......... loads of info has been compiled over the years by social science researchers.

You gotta luv statistics. Generally compiled by a bunch of academics totally out of touch with the real world looking to spend our tax money in pursuit of a Phd. Apart from the glaringly obvious conclusion in the second paragraph (as pointed out by the poster), the rest could apply to any marriage, between any two people, anywhere in the western world. I also find it a little worrying when someone trots out a bunch of statistics containing phrases like "I can't remember what researchers have said." Kind of goes to credibility, I think.

As for me, my marriage is great. I'll ask the wife how she feels when she gets in. She just popped out to buy some gold and get her dad a truck so he can look after the sick buffalo, then she was running over to see a couple of old male friends (strictly platonic) and her ex-husband, 'cos he's sick too. Little darlin' has a heart of gold. Literally.

[dbrenn]

Well at this point the poll is telling us that 70% of marriages to bar girls are good

I guess we will just have to put down the other 30% to farangs who can't hold a marriage together......

So it is official....bar girls are great wife material........

Albeit a very small sample, 70% is much higher than I would have thought - I suppose the happy folk just keep quiet and all we hear are the sick buffalo stories.

Not sure where the rest of this thread is going - doctors, BMWs, and all that. Nothing to do with marrying bargirls.

Edited July 5, 2009 by dbrenn

[idrankwhat]

I'm sorry this is off topic but I have to say something. The lot of you are the ones twisting everything Jungian said for you own little belittling party, I know you have to drag everyone down to your level to feel good about yourselves this is a common inferiority tactic.

I don't blame Jungian a bit for saying screw it why should he help any of these people, I never would have in the first place and I feel a little responsible for telling people he was a shrink, yeah I said it he never did until you 'people' asked. I happen to know Jungian personally and I know there are quite a few members who do as well and if anything he has been modest in his posts, this guy could buy and sell most of you over and over but is very humble, he and his wife have contributed so much to the expat community from free counseling, free medication for those who couldn't afford it and his wife has done pro bono (publico) legal work for expats that couldn't afford an attorney.

Don't get the feeling I'm sticking up for Jungian you guys are just a bunch of twits I felt the need to insult you with the truth about yourselves, 1/2 of you need to go back and read your own posts if you want to see contradiction the other 1/2 are in denial and are either breaking labor laws or immigration laws and think they are in the right and the Thai government is evil and targeting them. There was a man on here (one of your cronies) who lied about his education, got arrested and you all high fived him and congratulated him <deleted> are you serious! I don't have to be a shrink to tell you what your problems are.

You don't believe anything the guy says, question his occupation, did you even ask where his office is? He is a government employee as you pointed out so you could easily verify it and than attack him big time with facts if he was lieing instead of being a wanke_r about it with no facts.

And Rixalex to top off your stupidity you add a P.S. about what kind of cars he drives, you're an idiot!

I'm sure one of the moderators will censor me but you are the ones that need the censoring.

[rixalex]

And Rixalex to top off your stupidity you add a P.S. about what kind of cars he drives, you're an idiot!

I'm stupid for telling Jungian that he shouldn't be punishing people who have nothing to do with any of this to get back at a handful of people who have questioned him???!!! OK, then you and I have different definitions of "stupid".

(The PS regarding the car i shouldn't have added because it is so far off topic - not that really any of this is on topic either! FYI the question wasn't about the car he drives, it was about Jungian's insistence that used BMWs are readily available here in Thailand at half the price of used BMWs in the US. Now i'm not saying he's lying because i can't imagine a possible reason to lie about such a thing, but myself and others are just puzzled because our experiences in no way match his. Just trying to get to the bottom of why that is - hence the request for a few more details.)

[stiggy]

I met my ex wife in Soho london.she was only cleaning the tables in the bar and only worked there one week she said...eventually i couldn't afford to keep sending her sick cow to the vets....

[Geekfreaklover]

I'm not married.

For the record about 90% of the farang Thai marriages I know involve ex bargirls.

The ones that 'work' are normally the ones where the husband has a pension and the wife has a poor family to look after. A marriage of convience in the truest sense. The ones that don't work are the ones where the golden goose has been opened up and spent or the money runs out in another way. Or the husband finds out his real role, as the money man, in the relationship.

I met a couple the other day. The Thai girlfriend was telling me how she works as a lawyer. Then when my friend mentioned that he was opening a new bar she asked if she could apply for the vacancey as 'cashier' - a true story.

I'm surprised that more TV members don't grow a pair and admit that they have married bargirls. It's not a crime, really.

[DaleBlue]

There are lots of good Thai girls around.

Why go for the Bar Girls?

I just don't understand you guys.

[Chaimai]

There are lots of good Thai girls around.

Why go for the Bar Girls?

I just don't understand you guys.

So all Bar Girls are bad and not "good Thai girls" ?

[Bobsyouruncle]

If someone is happy in their marriage then it doesn't matter what their history or background is.

To judge someone for their past is shortsighted.

I know many people that have made mistakes in their lives and have grown to be better people from their experiences.

I think this whole thread is rather crass.

[DaleBlue]

There are lots of good Thai girls around.

Why go for the Bar Girls?

I just don't understand you guys.

So all Bar Girls are bad and not "good Thai girls" ?

Please do not mistake me. All I am saying that you guys should put more effort and try to get a good girl first. If all else fail .....

In comparison, why would someone dream of buying a house in Brox or Brixton if you can afford a better area. If budget is a serious concern, then .....

[Geekfreaklover]

There are lots of good Thai girls around.

Why go for the Bar Girls?

I just don't understand you guys.

So all Bar Girls are bad and not "good Thai girls" ?

Please do not mistake me. All I am saying that you guys should put more effort and try to get a good girl first. If all else fail .....

In comparison, why would someone dream of buying a house in Brox or Brixton if you can afford a better area. If budget is a serious concern, then .....

Brixton's alright actually.

No such thing as a 'good girl' - Some are better than others. None are completely 'good'

If you mean 'good' by having a respectable proffesion, then you may recall Dr Shipman who killed hundreds. He was a doctor.

This topic is actually a bit lame. Some bar girls are quite fun people. some government officals are shits.

And a lot of us would choose the bar proffesion if we were in these womens position. It's and ends to a means. Surprising what you will do when when you have no education and your family are putting pressure on you to go earn some money.

As for the guys that marry them. Maybe they don't have much other choice, due to their age, and lack of language skills.

Edited July 6, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[Chaimai]

Brixton's alright actually.

No such thing as a 'good girl' - Some are better than others. None are completely 'good'

As for the guys that marry them. Maybe they don't have much other choice, due to their age, and lack of language skills.

- All I would get in Brixton is something with a blue-rinse.

Why wouldn't I consort with someone from the bar scene, when they are 20 years younger than me, give me more than I have ever had from two Falang wives and costs me less than what I used to spend on 25 fags a day.

Sure, I could trawl all the Thai dating websites to find a "good girl"

[imaneggspurt]

I am just curious as to how many men got to a bar and pick up a lady and then later marry them.

With this question I also want the answer of a good marriage,

You trust your partner

Your partner trusts you

You don't need to pay her off "IE" money for spa's, gold, and sorry I spent all night at the gogo bar mnoey

You don't have a gig on the side

You don't need a gig on the side

She doesn't ask for money monthly

Hmm - now, if you take a girl out of a bar and marry her, what is she supposed to do for money if you don't give her a regular allowance? How will she make a living? Working on the side?

You were rather emphatic in your denial that this applies to you, and you are using the old 'a friend of mine' line...

Marriages to bar girls can be successful, but you have to bear in mind the circumstances that got her into the bar in the first place, which may include one or more of: alcohol, drugs, gambling, awful friends, poverty, family to support, scrounging relatives or deadbeat boyfriends, criminality or criminal associations, etc. Will these problems disappear miraculously just because she ties the knot with you?

"Hmm - now, if you take a girl out of a bar and marry her, what is she supposed to do for money if you don't give her a regular allowance? How will she make a living? Working on the side? " .. Why not get a "normal " job ,millions of other non prostitutes have,.no unfortunatly these girls have had a taste of the easy money and greed has consumed them,,,,,,,im speaking from experience, no i didnt marry one as her aunt wanted 50000 a month, and when i smartened up as to the "system " i decided to get a straight one, been perfect, not for me, but nor is a honda civic and theres thousands about,

[cdnvic]

I hardly think being groped and getting naked with a parade of sweaty, overweight, drunken tourists qualifies as "easy money".

Edited July 6, 2009 by cdnvic

[offset]

I often wonder what the age of some of these people are that have a down on B/G relationships it is not always sex that is important to some of the older men they just need looking after and company that is required there are quite a lot of men that I know that go with these ladies that get looked after good and they are good for each over it does not cost them that much and the ladies can look after their families love is not always required if love comes all the better and the most important thing is that they do not have years to find a so called good lady

[IanForbes]

There are lots of good Thai girls around.

Why go for the Bar Girls?

I just don't understand you guys.

There are very good reasons for that.

1. Most farangs on the make can't speak Thai and the so called "nice" girls in Thailand can't speak English.

2. Most farangs who visit Thailand for any length of time are usually older, but still like young, pretty women. The young, handsome back-packer types aren't around long enough to hook up with regular Thai women and don't have enough money for the bar girls.

3. Many regular Thai women feel there is some stigma hooking up with an older farang man. They don't want to be thought of as hookers by their peers. There is a caste system prevelant in Thailand even if Thais say there isn't.