Do You Have A Succesfull Marriage To A Bar Girl

[Nurse]

Mia and I are now 2 years, 4 months together. She appeared in a bar I used to pop into and noticed her straight away as a stranger.

(Yes I am a bar frequenter, so maybe or are a low life)

Could speak very poor English but my Thai was the same.

With living in Pattaya and working offshore have seen many well paid and well educated guys lose all common sense and sense of proportions to thai females. I was terrified and amazed when I let her move into my home when I went back to work. Do 4wks on/off.

Came back all was good so took it slowly.

Cannot wish for better, go up North to her parents every 2 months for a week, always made me welcome. 19 years difference I am 53, maybe an old fool.

But happy as a sandboy. Yes you can have a success............................but, I were living here for 3+ years enjoying life as a child would in a sweetie shop. Seen many a strong man cry over these girls, whom they had met on a three week holiday. Feel sorry for them.

My view, you want success you need to learn Thai, live here, spend time at her parents farm with Thai facilities. You can do that your on the right track.

Good posting TMD, I'm happy for you both, good luck for the future.

[slapout]

I worked with three other farangs building a new factory. All four of us married Thai women during the first and second year. That was in 1991/1992. Three of the girls were bar girls. Mine was an accountant with a university degree. Guess which marriage failed? My three friends are still happily married.

Gary comes thru again with a true and non judgmental answer. Its too bad that most of us men in Thailand do/do not have the where with all/ luck, karma, money,etc to end up like his 3 friends. I would wager the 3 ex bar girls did not say anything bad about Gary's ex before the split.

[Nurse]

People actually marry hookers? I thought that was an urban myth.

Then you have not lived in Thailand very long or are registered blind.

Or possibly a little sarcastic? Are you seriously that retarded?

Sorry if I don't understand your humour, but no insults please.

[tmd5855]

Good posting TMD, I'm happy for you both, good luck for the future.

Thanks Nurse, much appreciated.

TMD

[TexasRanger]

People actually marry hookers? I thought that was an urban myth.

Then you have not lived in Thailand very long or are registered blind.

Or possibly a little sarcastic? Are you seriously that retarded?

Sorry if I don't understand your humour, but no insults please.

Too late, sorry

[Jungian]

This is too funny! But I think it may be offensive to some people.

[IanForbes]

Not one person here has a girl from a bar so far, so why worry, it is rare.

I'm surprised.

Probably because they believe others will think unkindly of them. And, they don't want any possible shame brought on their wives by posting on the internet.

I COULD have easily married two different Thai women who worked in bars at one point in their lives and we'd probably live quite happily, but I'm just not into getting married any more. I've done that twice with western women. And, not getting married to some woman 30 or 40 years junior to me is for the woman's sake, not my own. I wouldn't want them to be tied down to some old fart 15 years from now when they are still in the prime of their life.

I know two farang men in Thailand that are happily married to ex-bar girls after 10 years of marriage. They go through the usual problems that ALL couples go through when living together, but other than that they've never had a bad word to say about their wives who they obviously adore.

Women who work in bars can be no different than women anywhere. There are the great ones and the nasty ones, and everything in between. The only real difference between women who work in bars and women who work elsewhere, is the bar girls have built a necessary shell around their hearts. They've been hurt too many times to trust anyone completely. And trust is necessary to make a marriage work. The bar girls ALL have feelings and it takes a little time to get to know them before you begin to understand what they are going through.

By the way, Nurse made some very good posts that I agree with. So did cpofc and toybits.

Edited July 3, 2009 by IanForbes

[Bpraim1]

Touchy issue right? Did you feel insulted when I asked you a direct question about whether your wife was a bargirl? So what business do you have asking other TV members whether their life partner was a bargirl or not? Are you going to give them valuable advice?

What I am telling you is. .......!

No , I am not!

I had my fun playing around in Thailand, I seen may a man cry from a bar lady.

I was my wifes first boy friend beyond she highschool puppy love. There was not sex on the ffirst or second date!

I have been married now for 4 years and with her for 5 1/2 years.

We have two beautiful children, and we make decsions together.

She nor her family have ever asked for money!

Sin Sod was up to me, as they could not put a price on there daughter. But wanted to make sure she would be loved and looked after.

What sin sod I paid they gave back.

My wife is from Issan, her family is not poor but not rich, They work hard and save.

Does this anwser you question!

Nope, but I did feel insulted that you did not answer my question.

I asked DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESFULL MARRIAGE!

If people can answer this , then others can see and learn for the information collected.

Yes I should have asked for girls in general, But most of the sad stories posted daily are of the BG type.

[Bpraim1]

Well at least tmb answered my question, I guess he is a yes box.

Thank you

[mrtoad]

To the OP rather irrelevant topic to discuss because, if you didnt already know...All TV members are married to Hi-So, Thai Chinese, whose familes are well connected in the goverment , all wives have a minumum of one degree, but the vast majority have double degrees, with a few Phd's thrown in for good measure...

As we know none of our esteemed TV members frequent beers bar, thats for low life farangs or even worse visa runners..

[Jungian]

If your question is "DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE!" ??? Yes, but I have never even talked to a bar girl. I met my wife at a law firm in Bangkok where my friend works, we knew each other for 3 years before we got married and she got her own tourist visa to visit me in the USA to see my country and meet my family after which she returned to Thailand and later we arranged a K-1 visa which took about a month as everything was totally in order. I never paid a dime to anyone of her relatives to marry her nor was I ever asked to. My wife is an international real estate lawyer and we have been happily married for 10 years as of last month.

[Scott]

Quite a few years back, I lived in an apartment building not far from Patpong. The building was inhabited by girls (and guys) who worked in the bars--most were nice, some less so. The expat population was made up primarily of people who enjoyed the night life. I can't give you an exact statistic, but around 90% of them had at least one overseas boyfriend sending them money, some had two or three. Of the ones I knew, eventually well over 25% married foreigners. And there were a lot of them.

These marriages included several male co-workers that I knew. Of course, the first item of business was to 'rehabilitate' the Mrs. Invariably, they worked 'in an office on Silom.' A few of the wives who were a bit more jaded and less mentally endowed, could only be passed off as having worked in a restaurant. There were more lies, stories and spin than a government office going around. But most everyone new.

As you can see from this thread, there's a fair amount of interest, but not a lot of revealing information.

Sorry folks, but you can't make a silk purse out a sows ear. Cinderella was a fairy tale and "Pretty Woman" was just a movie. Real life is different.

[offset]

Been going with BG for over 2 years 20 years younger than me have 4 month baby boy she as always understood that I would not marry her or take her to England yes I pay her monthly. I see a lot of things that go on in the bar I see ladies yes ladies not girls (there are some bars in Pattaya for us older men) and what they get up to I also hear and see what some men get up to but there are a lot of men that have taken these ladies out of the bars and are very happy and a lot of them are not rich by any means but they all treat them like they would any other lady they knew

[toybits]

Too bad you felt insulted.

Why would you feel insulted that I do not care to anwser your question?

If other people can answer your question, that is their choice. These people are old enough to make decisions for themselves. Some of them make good decisions, some bad.

Those who did answer your question have no respect for their wife. That, I think is worse.

Nope, but I did feel insulted that you did not answer my question.

I asked DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESFULL MARRIAGE!

If people can answer this , then others can see and learn for the information collected.

Yes I should have asked for girls in general, But most of the sad stories posted daily are of the BG type.

[IanForbes]

Those who did answer your question have no respect for their wife. That, I think is worse.

That is very similar to what I said... quote: "Probably because they believe others will think unkindly of them. And, they don't want any possible shame brought on their wives by posting on the internet."

Nobody with a spouse they respect is going to reply to such a question on the internet. It's too easy for someone to learn who they are and start nasty rumours. I have lots of Thai lady friends of which a few work in bars. I'm never going to mention their names.

Oh, and MANY women who work in bars are NOT available to customers who frequent those bars. Many are just hired staff or spouses of the owners.

Edited July 3, 2009 by IanForbes

[kurtd99]

People actually marry hookers? I thought that was an urban myth.

so your wife gave the game up when the texas lone star came and rescued her... lucky for her

I know you texas boys can lack any form of niceness

so, here, today, just for you is a free lesson

do not call them hookers- they are human beings- thats not nice, I would not call you a backward, redneck from USA most stupid human rightless state.. that would be rude

they, most likely just like your own beloved little stay at home wife would get on their knees and do anything if they had to

buddy, we all have to do what we have to do to get by

[TexasRanger]

People actually marry hookers? I thought that was an urban myth.

so your wife gave the game up when the texas lone star came and rescued her... lucky for her

I know you texas boys can lack any form of niceness

so, here, today, just for you is a free lesson

do not call them hookers- they are human beings- thats not nice, I would not call you a backward, redneck from USA most stupid human rightless state.. that would be rude

they, most likely just like your own beloved little stay at home wife would get on their knees and do anything if they had to

buddy, we all have to do what we have to do to get by

Cock

[Bpraim1]

Too bad you felt insulted.

Why would you feel insulted that I do not care to anwser your question?

If other people can answer your question, that is their choice. These people are old enough to make decisions for themselves. Some of them make good decisions, some bad.

Those who did answer your question have no respect for their wife. That, I think is worse.

Nope, but I did feel insulted that you did not answer my question.

I asked DO YOU HAVE A SUCCESFULL MARRIAGE!

If people can answer this , then others can see and learn for the information collected.

Yes I should have asked for girls in general, But most of the sad stories posted daily are of the BG type.

Well if you want to change this all around to make it nasty to have a BG for a wife that is your problem, I ask who has a succesfull marriage with one.

What do you answer when someone asks where you met your wife. Don't lie now.

How is it demeaning to answer that my marriage is great or bad? Unless you have issues.

I have met many men that have great marriages to Thai bar ladies, and many that don't.

I have never read on here one person that has stated they have untill today!

I have full respect for my wife, she has never sold her body, she always found a real job!

I've never met a man that went to Amsterdam RedLight district to find a GF, So why should Thailand be different.

Sorry if this insults you, But it doesn't insult me!

If you don't ant to answer on here WHY post.

[toybits]

If you were the wife and your husband was a child molester, would you ask the question - "Who - among you has a child molester husband and are you happy or unhappy with your marriage?" Do you honestly think people will volunteer this information?

Dude, you are just a Troll!

Well at least tmb answered my question, I guess he is a yes box.

Thank you

[Bpraim1]

If you were the wife and your husband was a child molester, would you ask the question - "Who - among you has a child molester husband and are you happy or unhappy with your marriage?" Do you honestly think people will volunteer this information?

Dude, you are just a Troll!

Well that is not the question is it?

You don't need to answer to poll in a yes or no!

Well if I'm a troll , then that would make you a snake , by your ability to twist this post.

hahahaha,

[toybits]

Dude, just look at the title of this thread. You asked members "Do you have a successful marriage to a Bar Girl?" and NOT "Do you have a successful marriage?"

You are getting confused.

Well if you want to change this all around to make it nasty to have a BG for a wife that is your problem, I ask who has a succesfull marriage with one.

What do you answer when someone asks where you met your wife. Don't lie now.

How is it demeaning to answer that my marriage is great or bad? Unless you have issues.

I have met many men that have great marriages to Thai bar ladies, and many that don't.

I have never read on here one person that has stated they have untill today!

I have full respect for my wife, she has never sold her body, she always found a real job!

I've never met a man that went to Amsterdam RedLight district to find a GF, So why should Thailand be different.

Sorry if this insults you, But it doesn't insult me!

If you don't ant to answer on here WHY post.

[Livinginexile]

I think the guys that have successful marriages to b/g's are the ones that don't mind paying.

As long as they keep paying then it can be a successful marriage.

The guys that moan and groan about being ripped off are the ones that ran out of money of got sick of paying.

It's as simple as that really.

[slapout]

What is successful?, We have been married 17 years, we both are still alive and together, its not finished yet so I will not comment to the successful part at this time. The second question is kind of a non thought out waste of paper. Marriage is kind of like a fishing boat. It was good when you first got into it but it was better when you go shuck of it and the problems.

[surface]

My current wife of over 4 years, she happened to work at a bar, but she was new there so I know she wasn't used and abused like most of the others I've seen. I was fairly regular there so I knew the new ones from the old, and would NEVER have married one of the ladies working in the business for years. Find a fresh one and you have a great chance of a long and happy marriage. Same as shopping for food, buy fresh and you'll enjoy your meal that much more. It's not rocket science!

[jackdanielsesq]

I am buysexual - I will buy anything for sex - houses, diamonds, autos, clothes, gold trinkets.

It is not a TBG phenom, its global. Give me a break - leave the babes alone!!

BR>Jack

[MrHammer]

Imo, women who sleep with a lot of men at a young age find it hard to trust and open up to men later in life. Would you marry a slut in the west? Maybe thats your answer.

[webfact]

I am buysexual - I will buy anything for sex - houses, diamonds, autos, clothes, gold trinkets.

It is not a TBG phenom, its global. Give me a break - leave the babes alone!!

BR>Jack

you must love that Rolling Stones song "Some Girls".....

[rixalex]

This reminds me of a thread some time ago about a chap who married a bar girl and at the time of doing so, completely accepted her dubious past, but as time went by it started to eat away at him as to why she had made that decision to sell her body.

I think guys can easily find excuses on behalf of their girls when they are at that head over heels stage, but as time wears on they can find themselves asking more questions. One of those questions might be "if i came from a poor rural family in Thailand and had the choice of keeping my dignity and pride but not making much money (as the vast majority of Thai women do) or selling myself and making good money, what would i choose?"

[Maizefarmer]

There has been all sorts of research done into what acaemics in Thailand call "cross cutural marriges". Those between ex-pats/bar-girls (which they are a little more blunt about and call "sex workers") have some obvious, and not so obvious stats.

The overwhelming majority end in tears within the first couple years or so (doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that one out - most are a recipe for disaster from day 1) . Some last a little longer, say 3 - 5 years and even fewer last longer, say 5 - 7 years.

By year 10 something like 95% (plus) of partners in this group have gone their seperate ways.

Around year 10, there is a dramatic change (the exact figure might be 9years and some months, or 11years and some months - don't hold me to it, I can't remember what researchers have said, but the turning point is as close as damnit to 10). I think most folk understand that the longer a marrige lasts the greater the chance of the partners been able to make a success of it and the stats show 2 things about ex-pat/bar-girl marriages:

- if the marrige survives the +/- 10yr turning point, chances are something like 90%-95% it will go on to last for good.

- marriges in this group have a greater long term success chance than the percentage of Thai/Thai marriges which have survived the +/- 10year truning point.

Different disciplines will interpret that data in different ways - what I find interesting about it, is if you have married a bar-girl and get to year 10 in the marrige, then all the potential problem issues and negatives which are associated with bar-girls seem to become non-issues and your chances statistically are now as good as, if not better than those in Thai/Thai marriges.

No shortage of stats on ex-pat/Thai-girl partnerships.......... loads of info has been compiled over the years by social science researchers.

Edited July 3, 2009 by Maizefarmer

[Chaimai]

This reminds me of a thread some time ago about a chap who married a bar girl and at the time of doing so, completely accepted her dubious past, but as time went by it started to eat away at him as to why she had made that decision to sell her body.

I think guys can easily find excuses on behalf of their girls when they are at that head over heels stage, but as time wears on they can find themselves asking more questions. One of those questions might be "if i came from a poor rural family in Thailand and had the choice of keeping my dignity and pride but not making much money (as the vast majority of Thai women do) or selling myself and making good money, what would i choose?"

How long have you been here ?

Why are you confusing Western so-called 'principles' with Thai culture. I doubt any girl working in a bar - or karaoke etc, etc - would consider that she had lost any dignity or pride. Virginity, possibly - although that was probably lost to the Thai father of her child/ren who has since p!ssed of with his mia noi. Also, I won't bore you with the well-trodden phrase that "This girls consider sex to be just another bodily function........"

This is Thailand, your Puritanical opinions do not fit with the culture or practicalities of the country.