glegolo Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 (edited) Hi!! I would like to ask you guys "out there", and especially you that lives outside the big cities here in Thailand. Why in hel_l are you so, not interested in talking a few words to other falangs??? We meet often at the local stores, Lotus, Makro and BIG C or whereever, but you more or less always bend down your head and look at the ground and just pass without a word. Your wife on the other hand is always looking and gives you a smile, my wife thinks that other wifes want their husbands/boyfriends to have a life and be able to talk english every now and than which makes her falang happier in the end..... so what it is about really??? My american friend here in Chaiyaphum, has also wondered about that fenonema.. he thought that maybe a lot of guys are "wanted" by their homecountries or even Thailand authorities. And wants to keep a low profile. Anyhow, I think that the most of the guys are just shy and do not dare to talk without being approached to!!! Or they are just so not interested to have a social life, and is happy with wife, mother in law and the life in the village. Would be nice to hear you guys and see how you look at this... Glegolo Edited July 18, 2009 by glegolo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G54 Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 An oft discussed topic and you will have many who say they do not want to socialise with 'Drunken Yobs' or have some Farang wanting to tap them for money etc. Yet when you see people in shops and similar settings they do still ignore you even though you are unlikely to be drunk or abusive at that time in that setting, while their Thai wives will smile happily at you. I have talked to Canadians, Americans and guys from the UK when out and about but the vast majority do seem to want to avoid eye contact or even a courteous 'Hello' in reply. Maybe they are miserable or simply enjoy the isolation and anonymity but Thailand is the only country I have noticed this happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 I dont mean to come across as rude, but this topic has been brought up countless times that a quick search would produce numerous threads. But, i will tag on that personally I think its up to each individual. Socialising is personal. Just because someone is another farang, doesnt necessarily mean i would want to have much social interaction with them. To be honest im pretty selective in who i get to know and very wary of strangers, particularly some of the strange strangers who move to Thailand! I have had some random encounters and casual conversations, but usually in an invironment that would encourage it..ie: waiting some place or at a cafe etc. Although i consider myself respectful and polite, i would always return a hello or a smile, i just dont go about being overly sociable with people i dont know. Also, if im shopping or whatever, im focused on what im doing. Anyway, in general I prefer to get to know people the same way i would in my home country and other countries, through mutual friends or a situation where i feel comfortable getting to know someone...usually doing something that involves a shared interest (meeting someone through a hobby or whatever). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Maybe they are miserable or simply enjoy the isolation and anonymity but Thailand is the only country I have noticed this happen. To be perfectly honest, Thailand does attract some oddballs. Im not surprised most people are wary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 I dont mean to come across as rude, but this topic has been brought up countless times that a quick search would produce numerous threads.But, i will tag on that personally I think its up to each individual. Socialising is personal. Just because someone is another farang, doesnt necessarily mean i would want to have much social interaction with them. To be honest im pretty selective in who i get to know and very wary of strangers, particularly some of the strange strangers who move to Thailand! I have had some random encounters and casual conversations, but usually in an invironment that would encourage it..ie: waiting some place or at a cafe etc. Although i consider myself respectful and polite, i would always return a hello or a smile, i just dont go about being overly sociable with people i dont know. Also, if im shopping or whatever, im focused on what im doing. Anyway, in general I prefer to get to know people the same way i would in my home country and other countries, through mutual friends or a situation where i feel comfortable getting to know someone...usually doing something that involves a shared interest (meeting someone through a hobby or whatever). eeeek, As usual you hit the nail on the head with this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 eeeek, As usual you hit the nail on the head with this one. (pay you the same agree amount tomorrow via paypal. I think it stands at 20baht per compliment, right? ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 I have a shop where I talk to people all day, every day, so sometimes I want to just walk around and think. The other problem is I meet so many people every day that many times I'm unsure if I know someone, or not, and kind of hide out, so I can avoid calling them the wrong name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 I would probably agree with what eek wrote, but it never really bothers me WHAT other people do or think. I talk to everyone anywhere. I don't butt in or make rude comments and I'm not trying to start a conversation, but I'm just being friendly. If others don't want to partake then that is their life and I won't intrude. A quick smile or hello never hurt anyone. But, occasionally it will break the ice with someone shy and the result might be a lifelong friendship. My older sister calls me Crocodile Dundee for a very good reason. She lived in New York at the time and because I talked to everyone in that normally unfriendly city it kind of surprised people. People's body language will quickly tell you if your smile is not wanted. But, I know it has made some ladies day when I've told them how nice they looked without making any attempt at hitting on them. I give compliments where compliments are due. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapout Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Must be tough/disheartening to be the center of attention/or not, for all those shoppers/customers. If I am on a shopping mission, I am looking for what I want or staff to show me where it is. If I am looking to meet new people or friends, I slip out to the local watering hole,cafe, golf course, etc or I call them and extend an invite to my house or one of the mentioned avenues. As I agree with eek and neverdies' most astute comments do I get 40 baht? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 eeeek, As usual you hit the nail on the head with this one. (pay you the same agree amount tomorrow via paypal. I think it stands at 20baht per compliment, right? ) Must be tough/disheartening to be the center of attention/or not, for all those shoppers/customers. If I am on a shopping mission, I am looking for what I want or staff to show me where it is. If I am looking to meet new people or friends, I slip out to the local watering hole,cafe, golf course, etc or I call them and extend an invite to my house or one of the mentioned avenues. As I agree with eek and neverdies' most astute comments do I get 40 baht? eek, Whats this money thing, you normally pay me with kisses. slapout, Why are you trying to make this a three way thing? ....Phukkin animal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteboy Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 From an Old timer... One of the reasons I keep my head down while shopping and see some foreigner approaching me as if I owe him something, is expressed in your posting: If I don't 'react' to your 'smile' , you and your friend assume automatically that we have done something evil in our home country, or are wanted by Foreign or Thai authorities. And with that mindset, that's the kind of people I should start being friendly with??? How about: I didn't leave Europe for rural Thailand to start conversations with complete strangers here! It is also not the normal way of making acquaintances in the West (wrong place and environment). And yes, I generalize sometimes, seeing how many of these retired 'gentlemen' are dressed in public, accompanied by their highly educated 25 year old spouses, somehow understanding the reason for their 'smiling' to a total stranger. (Old habits returning?) I am far more often deeply embarrassed and ashamed for the way foreign men dress/behave here than for the (most often) very polite public behavior of Thai Nationals, another reason to stay clear of the many ...weirdo's Another thing: I have dreadful memories of pubs in Europe with like 30 guys inside (grumbling about the same old subjects :weather, sports, government) and 2 or 3 ladies present. Luckily the balance is lightly different in Thailand. So male company is not at all what I am looking for here, and when a total stranger smiles at me in a shopping mall, I wonder sometimes if he's gay or wants something from me (borrow money, sell something, whatever). The average(non bar-tourist area)Thai would rarely approach a total stranger or start conversation with him, and that is the proper way of things. So like the old MJ song: leave me alone! When I shop I shop, when I want to socialize I will go to the proper place for socializing, and no: neither Makro, Tesco or Big C qualify for that in my book. relevant or not, to be deleted or not..Whatever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rixalex Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Whats this money thing, you normally pay me with kisses. Neverdie, just wondering, have you ever made a post on Thaivisa that didn't include a bit of flirting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Many farang get maried to woman as soon as they get here and after a couple of years wish they hadn't. They are then embarrassed walking around with the scrubber they chose to look anyone in the eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 when I want to socialize I will go to the proper place for socializing, and no: neither Makro, Tesco or Big C qualify for that in my book. I disagree, we often go there to socialise but agree on the point that I don't have to smile back at the guy from Skegness or Kansas who is high on being out his country for the first time with his ho he met on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 You guys really ought to take a look at what you are writing.......then think.... we are in Thailand where the majority of people always nod or smile a greeting.....although I am not surprised if they don't bother with you miserable lot.......you might just want to take a look at yourselves and ask if you miserable/private people are actually the ones out of sync here....... Sad sad sad people.....and you even try to justify your ignorance.....amazing Thailand!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Some of the people who gravitate upcountry do so because they can't afford to live in the farang ghetto. The last one I befriended ended up coming to my house uninvited and unwanted. I say unwanted because I had known him long enough to be sure he was a bum. Why take a chance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 (edited) You guys really ought to take a look at what you are writing.......then think.... we are in Thailand where the majority of people always nod or smile a greeting.....although I am not surprised if they don't bother with you miserable lot.......you might just want to take a look at yourselves and ask if you miserable/private people are actually the ones out of sync here.......Sad sad sad people.....and you even try to justify your ignorance.....amazing Thailand!!!! Ok Mr bobblehead, smile and bobble away, but no need to put down others just because you like to grin at all and sundry. Personally i dont see every Thai person nod and smile like demented ventriloquist dummies. I do, of course, see people do that when in close proximity, such as allowing each other to pass, or a friendly smile to the cafe staff you go to visit etc. I consider that normal everyday behaviour from Thai and other nationalities. I honestly do not see all Thai people nodding and smiling 24/7 at all people they look at..and yes, i do have my head up and my eyes open. Edited July 18, 2009 by eek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Whats this money thing, you normally pay me with kisses. Neverdie, just wondering, have you ever made a post on Thaivisa that didn't include a bit of flirting? rixalex, you have me picked incorrectly & I think if you checked thru all my posts, most of them would have nothing to do with flirting, most my posts are filled with ANGER and VIOLENCE . You also seem to neglect the fact that I may just have one or two friends here on thai visa, both male or female whom I joke with in such manner. Knowing eeek, if I step out of line she will soon let me know about it. Please be my guest, put me on block if you don't like it, I recall others have done so, but for some reason they always seem to return to speak to me at a later stage . Perhaps you are in need of a little bit of attention yourself or are you just the jealous type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Do all you socialisers go around saying hello to everyone in supermarkets in the west? You'd get the same response from me there as you would here, a nodded g'day and nothing else. Why is it that it's considered racist if a westerner lumps all orientals into one basket, yet we are accused of being grumpy, arrogant, miserable b'stards if we don't play along with the Thai idea of lumping all westerners as farangs? When my wife is in NZ or Australia I don't expect her to run up to every Chinese / Philippino, Vietnamese / Lao etc etc, let alone Thai, person she sees and say hello, so why is it expected of us? What have I got in common with an Italian / German / Chilean / Canadian / Norwegian / any other white citizen of a foreign country? Why should I be expected to say hello to every one of them? Sure, they may be a nice person, but I'm not going to stand around in the supermarket finding out. What about Indians / Nigerians / Saudis / Japanese / Thais and all other non white people? Why don't all you great communicators say hello to them too? If you find the attraction of a white face too great, then I've heard there's millions of them in North America and Europe. Maybe you should start shopping in one of those continents and let the rest of us get on with ours in peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 You guys really ought to take a look at what you are writing.......then think.... we are in Thailand where the majority of people always nod or smile a greeting.....although I am not surprised if they don't bother with you miserable lot.......you might just want to take a look at yourselves and ask if you miserable/private people are actually the ones out of sync here.......Sad sad sad people.....and you even try to justify your ignorance.....amazing Thailand!!!! Ok Mr bobblehead, smile and bobble away, but no need to put down others just because you like to grin at all and sundry. Personally i dont see every Thai person nod and smile like demented ventriloquist dummies. I do, of course, see people do that when in close proximity, such as allowing each other to pass, or a friendly smile to the cafe staff you go to visit etc. I consider that normal everyday behaviour from Thai and other nationalities. I honestly do not see all Thai people nodding and smiling 24/7 at all people they look at..and yes, i do have my head up and my eyes open. I guess people just greet me with a smile because they know it will be returned.....perhaps I am widely noticed because of this strange habit......of polite greeting even a sawasdee khrap sabai dee mai/or to farang a hello....... not usually known in the farang population......who prefer to be more reserved..........and whose lips never move.....because presumably the ventriloquist has left them where they are heads up and eyes open.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rixalex Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Whats this money thing, you normally pay me with kisses. Neverdie, just wondering, have you ever made a post on Thaivisa that didn't include a bit of flirting? rixalex, you have me picked incorrectly & I think if you checked thru all my posts, most of them would have nothing to do with flirting, most my posts are filled with ANGER and VIOLENCE . You also seem to neglect the fact that I may just have one or two friends here on thai visa, both male or female whom I joke with in such manner. Knowing eeek, if I step out of line she will soon let me know about it. Please be my guest, put me on block if you don't like it, I recall others have done so, but for some reason they always seem to return to speak to me at a later stage . Perhaps you are in need of a little bit of attention yourself or are you just the jealous type. My goodness me neverdie! I was pulling your leg <deleted>! Sorry for hitting a nerve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Do all you socialisers go around saying hello to everyone in supermarkets in the west? You'd get the same response from me there as you would here, a nodded g'day and nothing else. Why is it that it's considered racist if a westerner lumps all orientals into one basket, yet we are accused of being grumpy, arrogant, miserable b'stards if we don't play along with the Thai idea of lumping all westerners as farangs? When my wife is in NZ or Australia I don't expect her to run up to every Chinese / Philippino, Vietnamese / Lao etc etc, let alone Thai, person she sees and say hello, so why is it expected of us? What have I got in common with an Italian / German / Chilean / Canadian / Norwegian / any other white citizen of a foreign country? Why should I be expected to say hello to every one of them? Sure, they may be a nice person, but I'm not going to stand around in the supermarket finding out. What about Indians / Nigerians / Saudis / Japanese / Thais and all other non white people? Why don't all you great communicators say hello to them too? If you find the attraction of a white face too great, then I've heard there's millions of them in North America and Europe. Maybe you should start shopping in one of those continents and let the rest of us get on with ours in peace. But we do speak/acknowlege to fellow human beings of any race....that is what we have in common we CAN!!......although it would appear there are those who do not wish to use this attribute....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 But we do speak/acknowlege to fellow human beings of any race....that is what we have in common we CAN!!......although it would appear there are those who do not wish to use this attribute....... So you say hello to every Thai you walk past? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceBlondie Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 I've always been friendly and outgoing, but Thailand has muted me somewhat. I still initiate hi's and nods, and meet interesting people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 My goodness me neverdie! I was pulling your leg <deleted>!Sorry for hitting a nerve. Take him outside for a spanking. I know he likes that. (Im going to be trouble now!!! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 But we do speak/acknowlege to fellow human beings of any race....that is what we have in common we CAN!!......although it would appear there are those who do not wish to use this attribute....... So you say hello to every Thai you walk past? I am confident...... ok.....I have no fear of making eye contact....... if that is returned I nod or smile.....if the smile is returned I will say hello as I pass......no more....... unless the person pauses or stops beside me to initiate further conversation.....I may know them from a previous meeting then I will ask them how they are.....family etc.....questions which are not intrusive but show interest......I also have a good memory it helps Should you require any further instruction on how to politely greet people please do not hesitate to contact........mrbobblehead*smiley.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 You guys really ought to take a look at what you are writing.......then think.... we are in Thailand where the majority of people always nod or smile a greeting.....although I am not surprised if they don't bother with you miserable lot.......you might just want to take a look at yourselves and ask if you miserable/private people are actually the ones out of sync here.......Sad sad sad people.....and you even try to justify your ignorance.....amazing Thailand!!!! Ok Mr bobblehead, smile and bobble away, but no need to put down others just because you like to grin at all and sundry. Personally i dont see every Thai person nod and smile like demented ventriloquist dummies. I do, of course, see people do that when in close proximity, such as allowing each other to pass, or a friendly smile to the cafe staff you go to visit etc. I consider that normal everyday behaviour from Thai and other nationalities. I honestly do not see all Thai people nodding and smiling 24/7 at all people they look at..and yes, i do have my head up and my eyes open. I guess people just greet me with a smile because they know it will be returned.....perhaps I am widely noticed because of this strange habit......of polite greeting even a sawasdee khrap sabai dee mai/or to farang a hello....... not usually known in the farang population......who prefer to be more reserved..........and whose lips never move.....because presumably the ventriloquist has left them where they are heads up and eyes open.. 473geo, i respect that is how you like to do things. What i dont respect is why you(and others) would expect everyone else to follow your way of thinking. Now, if i see a friendly person, i will reciprocate. But, its not my way to go around saying hello to everyone. If you are such a nice friendly guy, why can you just accept and let people do things the way they feel most comfortable. If i hold open a door, i dont expect a thank you. If i get one (which i usually do) its nice, but i still dont expect it. Thus, im not disappointed nor take it to heart, nor instantly judge that the person has no manners if for whatever reason they dont thank me. I like it if someone holds a door for me too, but again, i dont expect it, and it doesnt spoil my day or stay on my mind if it doesnt happen. My point is that we are all intitled to do these things in our own way, and the most considerate of us will not even think about it in terms of what is the right or wrong way. We just let people be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 ........mrbobblehead*smiley.com Actually, im sorry for that. I think i went too far. Sometimes i type my first reaction, and my first reaction to your post was feeling a bit irked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glegolo Posted July 18, 2009 Author Share Posted July 18, 2009 You guys really ought to take a look at what you are writing.......then think.... we are in Thailand where the majority of people always nod or smile a greeting.....although I am not surprised if they don't bother with you miserable lot.......you might just want to take a look at yourselves and ask if you miserable/private people are actually the ones out of sync here.......Sad sad sad people.....and you even try to justify your ignorance.....amazing Thailand!!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for all your inputs.. I was sincerely looking for an easy answer/s to my wondering!!! In some cases I did hit a nerv, and these people justifying their no saluting by saying that it is not common in countries were they come from. I say the same exactly!!! But reason for me to salut and say hello and maybe smile to other fellow falangs is that, we are not that many up here in Isaan, and to be friendly and say hello doesn´t mean for me that I wish to be a lifelong friend to all the guys I meet!! But I guess that the reaction I got from many of you guys here on this topic comes from bigcitymentality.. and you probably do NOT live in Isaan, I am sure...... I am sorry for you. I do not mean any harm, but go arround looking down, not even answer a hello, and saying that a shoppingmall is not a proper place to start a (unwanted) friendship. Is pure bull... If you do not want make friends, who can force you?? You know, some guys just want to ackknowledge your presence as a falang and say hello, nothing more!!! Glegolo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 You guys really ought to take a look at what you are writing.......then think.... we are in Thailand where the majority of people always nod or smile a greeting.....although I am not surprised if they don't bother with you miserable lot.......you might just want to take a look at yourselves and ask if you miserable/private people are actually the ones out of sync here.......Sad sad sad people.....and you even try to justify your ignorance.....amazing Thailand!!!! Ok Mr bobblehead, smile and bobble away, but no need to put down others just because you like to grin at all and sundry. Personally i dont see every Thai person nod and smile like demented ventriloquist dummies. I do, of course, see people do that when in close proximity, such as allowing each other to pass, or a friendly smile to the cafe staff you go to visit etc. I consider that normal everyday behaviour from Thai and other nationalities. I honestly do not see all Thai people nodding and smiling 24/7 at all people they look at..and yes, i do have my head up and my eyes open. I guess people just greet me with a smile because they know it will be returned.....perhaps I am widely noticed because of this strange habit......of polite greeting even a sawasdee khrap sabai dee mai/or to farang a hello....... not usually known in the farang population......who prefer to be more reserved..........and whose lips never move.....because presumably the ventriloquist has left them where they are heads up and eyes open.. 473geo, i respect that is how you like to do things. What i dont respect is why you(and others) would expect everyone else to follow your way of thinking. Now, if i see a friendly person, i will reciprocate. But, its not my way to go around saying hello to everyone. If you are such a nice friendly guy, why can you just accept and let people do things the way they feel most comfortable. If i hold open a door, i dont expect a thank you. If i get one (which i usually do) its nice, but i still dont expect it. Thus, im not disappointed nor take it to heart, nor instantly judge that the person has no manners if for whatever reason they dont thank me. I like it if someone holds a door for me too, but again, i dont expect it, and it doesnt spoil my day or stay on my mind if it doesnt happen. My point is that we are all intitled to do these things in our own way, and the most considerate of us will not even think about it in terms of what is the right or wrong way. We just let people be. Eek of course every one is entitled to behave the way they choose.....and you may have met me and reciprocated already........I fully accept there is a middle road and every person is different......but to deliberately,consistently,avoid,ignore,refuse to acknowledge.... The word I used...... sad oh and ignorant...... 'chooses to subjectively ignore' I think these words are very applicable to some comments on this thread There is a cure available....it is a singing dancing doll....constantly say hi and hello to get people into the habit available from......mrbobblheadinc*smiley.com..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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