vreemd13 Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 (edited) Off subject: ...... The eldest daughter is expected to provide for the family in Thai culture. If she finds an ignorant Farang great, if not she has to settle with a local. I hear/read/experienced: - eldest daughter - any daughter - youngest daughter - any son (youngest, oldest or in between age) story Who ever has farang friend is expected to provide for their thai family. Sorry, to generalize, but explain me this eldest, youngest thingy. Young versus old support is very controversial to me. Edited August 9, 2009 by vreemd13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Apolgies Will, most of my antrhopoligical research has been ashamebly conducted in the Isaan region and the metropolis pockets that Isaanites habitate within Krueng Thip.. One would assume that the OP's lady in question hails from an area in Isaan. I could be wrong. But i'm normally right. Anyway food for thought. Sounds like a wrongon to me. I still woudn't pay 30k a month. No matter how good she performed on the springs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I totally get your point, and I personally agree. I just dont think Thais would, on the whole. Thais dont see that money kills passion/love infact most of them see it as a way to increase love and passion. A vehicle to demonstrate their generosity and desire to support. A way to foster greng-jai in their partner. A way to gain self esteem and pride. The same way we gain self esteem from knowing we never paid a girl to be our gf (at least, thats how WE see it). Theres nothing wrong with us who have a problem with this, Im only saying Thai men (on the whole) dont. Apologise if I come across hostile- Im chilled and discussing this. But often people say I come across as if Im in a heated argument, which in my mind, we are not. Maybe we'll have a proper argument about it over a pint sometime It's not a heated argument, and I think that you are right in what you are typing. Yeah, sure, we will discuss over a pint sometime at the Crossbar. It's an interesting topic. Love and money are sometimes the same thing - but it works both ways - my gf recently paid me 30k to take a language course in Bangkok. Did I love her more for it? Not really. But it was a nice gesture. Thanks. I don't care too much for money, because money can't buy you love. (Credit Sir Paul) I've read the very entertaining discussion between GFL and Will and I tend to side with Will. By your definition GFL are you a whore too by taking money from a woman who's richer than you? Or just a "gigolo"? Or is it ok if "it's a gesture"? If "money can't buy you love" - What's your gf doing then? Huh? Also, if you transposed the word "salary" to "allowance" how would that sound? My Dad basically gave all of his money for 40-odd years of his working life to my Mum to pays the bills etc..Or are you calling her a whore too? In Asia, money, face and love are all intertwined - like ALL relationships money has some part to play. Finally, I think the OP has simply no understanding of what his gf wanted or expected in their relationship. RAZZ Yes I am a whore and I'm proud of it. Why? I get to have sex with the women that you pay for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Just a reminder below of the words written by the op in post #32 As has been written before she has sussed him......should have asked for 50k from the tightar5e 47 year old user 'She works and can make about 150,000 B min. a year. For the record, I have not paid her and do not really intent to. Of course, I like to treat her once in a while and do pay half of the rent and the gas whenever I am using it. I am 47, not fat, bold, and have all my teeth. And, yes, I could afford it, but do not feel this would fit my definition of LOVE, as universally defined! Will I miss her, not really! As much as the meaningless conversation we have about nothing' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 (edited) JasonM I broke up with her, because of paranoia I had created for myself, having decided she was a money obsessed girl who couldnt possibly love me (I arrogantly even assumed she would never know "true love" !!!) because for her, love and money were too close together. I held onto the belief that if she loved me she would never mention money, and that was my mistake. I caused her some terrible embarassment and heartache, approaching everything too carelessly and thinking the world span just like it did back in england. GFL - you could well be right, I just hope youre not, because we see too much of the bad eggs on this forum already p.s. laughing out loud at this notion of "love as universally defined" !! Edited August 9, 2009 by OxfordWill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAZZELL Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 (edited) Yes I am a whore and I'm proud of it. Why? I get to have sex with the women that you pay for. Joker - PMSL :D :D Strike a cord did I? Pots and kettles methinks Well, I'm in BKK the week after next. Maybe we can meet up? Or are you too busy being a "whore"? RAZZ Edited August 9, 2009 by RAZZELL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 JasonM I broke up with her, because of paranoia I had created for myself, having decided she was a money obsessed girl who couldnt possibly love me (I arrogantly even assumed she would never know "true love" !!!) because for her, love and money were too close together. I held onto the belief that if she loved me she would never mention money, and that was my mistake. I caused her some terrible embarassment and heartache, approaching everything too carelessly and thinking the world span just like it did back in england.GFL - you could well be right, I just hope youre not, because we see too much of the bad eggs on this forum already Will, for what it's worth mate. I think you did the right thing in ditching your ex-sweet heart on the basis of money demands. I've been in Thailand for ten years, was marrided to a Thai for six years and the whole relationship was based around money. I walked away - divorced - won custody of the kids and gave her all the money I had. About 10 million bt. I got my kids who are priceless. I just find it distubing when people try to justify that it is Thai culture to pay to have a girlfriend when Thai men don't pay to have a girlfriend. It is not culture - it is being ripped off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAZZELL Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I just find it distubing when people try to justify that it is Thai culture to pay to have a girlfriend when Thai men don't pay to have a girlfriend. It is not culture - it is being ripped off. But it's ok if they pay for you I think you've hand an irony by-pass... RAZZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Yes I am a whore and I'm proud of it. Why? I get to have sex with the women that you pay for. Joker - PMSL Strike a cord did I? Pots and kettles methinks Well, I'm in BKK the week after next. Maybe we can meet up? Or are you too busy being a "whore"? RAZZ Being a manwhore is a full time job. Let me know when you are avaiable and will try to fit you in to my next trip to RCA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonM Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 (edited) JasonM I broke up with her, because of paranoia I had created for myself, having decided she was a money obsessed girl who couldnt possibly love me (I arrogantly even assumed she would never know "true love" !!!) because for her, love and money were too close together. I held onto the belief that if she loved me she would never mention money, and that was my mistake. I caused her some terrible embarassment and heartache, approaching everything too carelessly and thinking the world span just like it did back in england.GFL - you could well be right, I just hope youre not, because we see too much of the bad eggs on this forum already Will, for what it's worth mate. I think you did the right thing in ditching your ex-sweet heart on the basis of money demands. I've been in Thailand for ten years, was marrided to a Thai for six years and the whole relationship was based around money. I walked away - divorced - won custody of the kids and gave her all the money I had. About 10 million bt. I got my kids who are priceless. I just find it distubing when people try to justify that it is Thai culture to pay to have a girlfriend when Thai men don't pay to have a girlfriend. It is not culture - it is being ripped off. It depends. If its early in the relationship i would sound the alarm. But after beeing with a girl for months and she asks for your help and have a good reason, then i find it OK!. I mean if you compare to western women needing fancy restaurants, gucci bags and perfume that costs more than 2 weeks of food in thailand. Its nothing Just think when a relationship gets serious thai girls expect you to provide for them. Just comparing with my relationship which is now ended because of my stupidity. After 5 months she hadnt asked for anything, we were planning to move in together. And she asked if i could help her pay down the land she owned which was meant for her mother. She had been saving many years for this. I saw the papers and everything. But stupid me i asked for advice on a message board and farangs answered. "RUUUUUUN" was theyre advice. So i checked in to a hotel and i broke this girls heart, she cried so hard i have never seen a girl so crushed before. We made up the next day but after i returned to my country she broke up with me So ive basicly lost the love of my life because of this silly event. Edited August 9, 2009 by JasonM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I just find it distubing when people try to justify that it is Thai culture to pay to have a girlfriend when Thai men don't pay to have a girlfriend. It is not culture - it is being ripped off. But it's ok if they pay for you I think you've hand an irony by-pass... RAZZ I'm fighting the system from within, man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 JasonM - dont give up on her, do as a Thai man would do- chase, chase, chase. You can get her back. And for everyone else- see how negative feedback can affect people. This is why I prefer to assume the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonM Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 JasonM - dont give up on her, do as a Thai man would do- chase, chase, chase. You can get her back. And for everyone else- see how negative feedback can affect people. This is why I prefer to assume the best. Yeah its been 1 week now. Messaged her today, no response. Will not disturb her, but will try again in 1 week again. Just so she know that i have not moved on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkfish Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Think whats needed on this is a Thai girls opinion. Hey I know why don't you guys ask your GF what they think? No seriously don't forget to mention she is 30 and they have been in a relationship for many years. Regarding the 30K well we just don't know how rich the OP actually is do we. Also mention that she said bar girls earn 30k see if they think she is whore because of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 JasonM - dont give up on her, do as a Thai man would do- chase, chase, chase. You can get her back. And for everyone else- see how negative feedback can affect people. This is why I prefer to assume the best. To be fair to everybody who posts, their own individual experiences will more than likely fashion their responses......and of course unless they divulge we cannot know the 'path they have walked' to arrive at their conclusions.......some let bad experiences go and move on.....others harbour resentment....many cannot see the other side of the coin There is another thread where a lady mentions a guy giving 50k a month to the parents of his wife.....and an allowance of 150k a month to his wife.......each to their own and what they can afford.....I'm pleased he is capable of taking good care of his family. I do not see him as being ripped off!! We all live to our means.....but what of people who have very little....are they to be overlooked because they cannot contribute financially to a relationship....where one partner has the means to support both? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Think whats needed on this is a Thai girls opinion.Hey I know why don't you guys ask your GF what they think? No seriously don't forget to mention she is 30 and they have been in a relationship for many years. Regarding the 30K well we just don't know how rich the OP actually is do we. Also mention that she said bar girls earn 30k see if they think she is whore because of that. I can tell you my wifes' response........don't need to ask.... Up to Him...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Yeah its been 1 week now. Messaged her today, no response. Will not disturb her, but will try again in 1 week again. Just so she know that i have not moved on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaydillon Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 She is having a laugh mate,tell her to Fuc* Off,thieving little gid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abrak Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 You know there is one reason only that I would never pay this girl. I have absolutely no objection to you paying some girl Bt100k a month. I dont really mind that she feels she needs to be subsidized. She could even be a stunner as well as intelligent. But what to me is unacceptable is that she compares her life with you to an alternative of being a bar girl. She almost says if I wasnt going out with you and get a decent salary, then I would be a bar girl earning Bt30k. Any girl who valued their relationship with me on that basis, values it so lowly, that it would be totally unacceptable to me. Mind you any girl that she would best work as a bar girl if she wasnt with me would totally unacceptable too. Can you really imagine going out with a girl in your home country who said unless you give me US$200 a week I am better off being a hooker. All it would make you think is what possible reason were you with her in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a2396 Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Well, it could be that your partner made the extr effort to understand our culture, and adapt her behaviour, expectations and so on accordingly. My first Thai girlfriend was like this, she did all that without fanfare of rubbing it in my face to show off her extra effort. Perfect wife material- shame I was only 19 at the time, if Im lucky ill meet her again at 30-something! Nice story. Now for something different: The thousands of girls that work in the gentlemans entertainment areas of Bangkok, the majority of which support their Thai motorcycle taxi boyfriends with cash taken from their latest clients. Is the thai boyfriend taking care of her financially?. Nope. She loves him and is working to keep him in whiskey and gasoline. She is peddling her arse to support him. Thats Thai culture, mate. Right there. The woman doing a terrible job to support her lazy boyfriend (brother) who isn't lifiting a finger to pay the bills. The eldest daughter is expected to provide for the family in Thai culture. If she finds an ignorant Farang great, if not she has to settle with a local who she can have a loving realtionship with. Not a fiscal reationship, a loving one. Good observations. The majority of them have hidden relationships with Thai men that are extremely difficult to ferret out. If the Farang sponser is living overseas? Impossible. In addition, they may have many short time Giks - also next to impossible to track. If you know them long enough, it is possible to get a feel for if they are trustworthy or not. Unfortunately, in my experience 80% of them are not. Cheating and double dealing are just part of the game in relationships with Farangs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanook2me Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Thats all good and dandy Will, but the questions leaps out to me. Why has my girlfriend and many of my firends girlfriends been paying their fair share - rent - food - etc. Am I the only person in Thailand who is being supported finacially by Thai women? Your suggestion that all men must pay to have a Thai parner, whilst perhaps true in your own expereince, it is not the way things work here. It's simply bullshit that newbies lap up with pleasure. There are 2 of us then? I don't have to pay for anything if i don't want to my Thai wifey will sort it out from her own money generated from her accounts business and when we are out in a group for food, dancing whatever they always share at the end..no one even looks at me to pay. But if you want a cute uni girl there are lots available that you can sponsor like this.... i want more info. OP age. Girls age, occupation, family set up (farmers or.....), does she have to send money home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakhar Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 You need to explain to your GF that the BG that actually do earn 30K a month, takes it up the dirt road.... If she is still game.... well then, you just may have a keeper.... (all said in gest) Really, I would dump her and move on, there are plenty of options here, and according to the rules of supply and demand, your gf has little negotiating power. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macb Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Been there done that got the 'T' If you have to pay someone to be with you then its a business arrangement, they will stay with you for the money not because they want to be with you. And you will get Lip service not anything genuinely from the heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beacher Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 ,... but she tells this is not about business, it is about love!... That's not a lie! It's about her love of money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mickylonster Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 ..... Most people ..... were taught that money and love do not mix well, but the exact opposite is true in Thai culture. .... but its a good enough start to let go of the western ideal that money somehow pollutes "true love". Try to see it rather as a way to show your love- money merely being the most powerful vehicle. Are you suggesting western should change their values for a 180' opposite thought? And just disregards their own culture thoughts and 100% accept other values? Ouch, relationship is 50/50 understanding. It is about accepting both ways. nuff sed . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a2396 Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Odd - most of the people I know who have TGF do not pay a salary. However they do help time to time when stuff comes up. Come on Will you know as well as I do - you don't need to pay your thai gf a salary to show that you love her. At the end of the day she has her own job and makes her own dosh if she was dating a thai lad this discussion would be moot. The common consensus is well your a farang and you can pay more. What kind of logic is this? Thai lads don't have to put up with this, so why should a farang. A proper lady would never expect this and believe it or not you do not need to pay a salary to keep a gf in thailand. The key is to find the right lady and well I think the OP might not have found the one based on what he is experiencing. Now if you are married - I believe in equal access to finances. (least that was the way I was raised - what is mine is yours ect) Issan girls expect payment, unless they possibly have professional type jobs and such women don't usually mix with Farangs. Equal access to finances, with a relationship in LOS? You've got to be joking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Equal access to finances, with a relationship in LOS? You've got to be joking. Why not ? if you are married Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyphuketLife Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I would sleep with her one last time... Then when finished would simply say "I was thinking about giving you your 30K a month, but well honey your P*$$y just is'nt worth that much. Have fun selling it to fat old men" Lets be real she wants the car in her name, a monthly fee more than double what she would make at an office job, kick her to the curb and let her know that you know what she is up to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammysung Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 come on guys the girl is doing what thai girls do. its up to the man to use some sense in dealing w them . OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING THIS GUY HAS NONE OF. i feel for they guy as he will get raked over the coals sooner or later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a2396 Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Equal access to finances, with a relationship in LOS? You've got to be joking. Why not ? if you are married So, marriage is a guarentee of protection for your assets? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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