My Gf Wants A Salary!

[rethaired]

She speaks good English, but sometimes not well enough for me to convey fully what I mean and not well enough for her to clearly state what she really wants

....she seems to have clearly stated what she really wants upto now....THB 30k/m and a car in her name...no mis-communication there, just wait till the subject of a house comes up...

OP its pretty obvious to me that you have already decided what you are going do....So write back in a few months/year and let us know if we were right or wrong...

Clearly stated?

After 3 years of living together! Ya! Couldn't be clearer ... and honest!

She also throws the word "gentleman" in her plea! To which my reply is ... I am looking for a gentlewoman!

[rethaired]

I love the way such a subject gets so many Thai experts typing away to give advice ..... many have first hand experience i think!

Maybe I should run a poll: "Have you been taken for a ride by a Thai GF who, after a while, started to behave like a hooker?" Choices: once, twice, or more. If indeed, so many Thai women do behave as such, it might be cheaper and easier to date women in the West, although those nasty divorce laws/lawyer fees are in the way!

Cuba or Mexico is looking better and better!

[a99az]

Tell her to get a job.

Sounds very much like she has a job in one of the oldest professions .

[Abrak]

I love the way such a subject gets so many Thai experts typing away to give advice ..... many have first hand experience i think!

Actually it is not the responses that are strange, merely the question which amounts to 'I will go out with you solely on the condition that you recompense me for the earnings I might achieve as a hooker.'

Incidentally remember the guy referred to her as a 'GF'.

It assumes not only is she worthless but the guy is also desperate.

With the Coolidge effect she even has little worth as a hooker.

When the girls you consider your 'gf' consider their worth as much as a hooker, presumably it is time to consider celibacy.

[Soutpeel]

If indeed, so many Thai women do behave as such, it might be cheaper and easier to date women in the West, although those nasty divorce laws/lawyer fees are in the way!

There actually no difference between the two except:

Thai woman - Pay up front or in installments

Western Woman - Get the bill at the end

Ultimately as are Canadian friend pointed out, whichever way you look at it..there is a price to pay

[zorro1]

Yes but the Thai will get her retainer and then take the lot including the car and the house, you cant share something that's in one name . In the west no retainer and they get half which is fair

In Thai you may or may not live if you take her to court

In the west she may not live if she takes you to court lol

[dr_Pat_Pong]

oh dear she knows how much a bar girl gets? how would she know that

She read it in the Post

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Tell her to get a job.

Sounds very much like she has a job in one of the oldest professions .

HOLESALE.

[barry]

regardless of single, married, whatever

we always pay one way or the other

pay her for a few months and if it bothers you too much

ADIOS

[paulh1978]

if you love her give her about 10.000 thats what thais get 30.000 is taking the pi**

[rethaired]

Yes but the Thai will get her retainer and then take the lot including the car and the house, you cant share something that's in one name . In the west no retainer and they get half which is fair

In Thai you may or may not live if you take her to court

In the west she may not live if she takes you to court lol

Too funny!

Celibacy looks more and more like a great option or Cuba or Mexico!

[Abrak]

Well put it another way. I dont pay my GF anything but I pay for dinners, holidays and most expenses. She is smart enough to say that we are together not because you are wealthy - wealthy guys are easy to find but because we get on so well. If she were to say it 'beats life being a hooker' then I would question my sanity as well as her own.

[hearditallbefore]

After having spent many years together (on and off, as I go back to my home country to work), my GF is asking for a salary, but she tells this is not about business, it is about love! I ask her how much? She tells me bar girls can get about 30,000 B, so maybe my salary should be about the same. Of course, she was shy about talking about this at the beginning, because "it is not polite"! I am supposed to be a gentleman! I also must help her parents! I must also help my parents. Is she helping my parents? Is she going to? Nope! I am confused! Should I run?

You should keep her. She really loves you, AND I need some new shoes.

[zorro1]

Yes but the Thai will get her retainer and then take the lot including the car and the house, you cant share something that's in one name . In the west no retainer and they get half which is fair

In Thai you may or may not live if you take her to court

In the west she may not live if she takes you to court lol

Too funny!

Celibacy looks more and more like a great option or Cuba or Mexico!

Nah, 30000bht will get you at least 30 to 50 girls a month all different. Trick is you would then have to convince everyone on TV you cant stand sexpat tourists whilst keeping your secret to yourself, Trust me e veryone else here does it , except me cause I kind stand them sexpat tourists

[Birdman]

The avagere salary in Thailand is appr. 8 times less than in the UK. So, in relation to that, if your UK girlfriend would ask for that amount under UK conditions, she would ask for 240.000 THB monthly...

[Lopburi99]

The car in her name did it for me. Did the OP ask her why it had to be in her name ? In my experience the wrong girls do not like being asked 'why' about anything. End Game.

Actually in my experience the "wrong" girls don't mind being asked 'why' at all, because they are accomplished, professional liars. Thailand is unfortunately full of liars, male and female. Nowhere before have I seen such blatant and flippant disregard for speaking the truth. This aspect of Thai culture is sickening.

Edited August 8, 2009 by Lopburi99

[CDNinKS]

The best of all this is the amount of people reading this post at any one time.......14 as I write this....too funny

[tijnebijn]

rethaired

You realise that 30K puts her in the top 10% or so of income earners in Thailand?

If this was a European girl asking you for a similar monthly stipend back home, and/or getting upset when you offered to buy a car for her to use, but then got upset when you expressed releuctance to put it in her name - how would you re-act?

You'd be pretty taken aback wouldn't - you'd think she had a bloody cheek - chances are its not the sort of partner you'd want.

Well, hel_l - just why should it be any more "acceptable" for a Thai girl to behave like that. It's not and don't for one moment think it is because it isn't - it's as much an "abuse" happening in Thailand, as it would be if it happened back home.

Thai girls/partners are no different to partners elswhere in the world - she understands for well that what she is asking of you is no more proper or acceptable than a European partner asking the same of you in similar circumstances back home - what she is relieing on, is a practise that small group of Thai girls in the so-called "bright lights" industry become expert at, and that is getting their ex-pat partner to think and accept that their relationship revolves around a set of values associated with "money". It's abusive and they know it.

Don't get sucked into belieiving that managing a successfull long term relationship here in Thailand is any different to how you'd manage it back home. If its not something you'd be comfortable doing back home with a European partner, why be any more comfortable with it, or think it any more acceptable here in Thailand?

Very well written post I must say !

Not sure if the OP can understand the logic of it , but better late then never .....

[bangla]

Thai girls/partners are no different to partners elswhere in the world - she understands for well that what she is asking of you is no more proper or acceptable than a European partner asking the same of you in similar circumstances back home - what she is relieing on, is a practise that small group of Thai girls in the so-called "bright lights" industry become expert at, and that is getting their ex-pat partner to think and accept that their relationship revolves around a set of values associated with "money". It's abusive and they know it.

how would you feel if you were in relationship with a woman who makes 1 million $ a month but she would tell you to keep your 1.500$ /month factory job where you have to work 15 hours a day 6 days a week.

she would also tell you she's not dating your parents and doesn't give a toss if they're able to get food on the table.

that would be weird huh..

[rethaired]

rethaired

You realise that 30K puts her in the top 10% or so of income earners in Thailand?

If this was a European girl asking you for a similar monthly stipend back home, and/or getting upset when you offered to buy a car for her to use, but then got upset when you expressed releuctance to put it in her name - how would you re-act?

You'd be pretty taken aback wouldn't - you'd think she had a bloody cheek - chances are its not the sort of partner you'd want.

Well, hel_l - just why should it be any more "acceptable" for a Thai girl to behave like that. It's not and don't for one moment think it is because it isn't - it's as much an "abuse" happening in Thailand, as it would be if it happened back home.

Thai girls/partners are no different to partners elswhere in the world - she understands for well that what she is asking of you is no more proper or acceptable than a European partner asking the same of you in similar circumstances back home - what she is relieing on, is a practise that small group of Thai girls in the so-called "bright lights" industry become expert at, and that is getting their ex-pat partner to think and accept that their relationship revolves around a set of values associated with "money". It's abusive and they know it.

Don't get sucked into belieiving that managing a successfull long term relationship here in Thailand is any different to how you'd manage it back home. If its not something you'd be comfortable doing back home with a European partner, why be any more comfortable with it, or think it any more acceptable here in Thailand?

Very well written post I must say !

Not sure if the OP can understand the logic of it , but better late then never .....

And your comment certainly shows your IQ!

If YOU did not quite get it, I made a real effort for 3 years NOT to go out with bar girls, choosing areas of town, parts of Thailand, and a professional who works in regular jobs to find some decent woman. This kind of behaviour is so dysfunctional that many not so dysfunctional foreigners are taken aback! If even normal girls act like bar girls (or emulate them), I believe we have a BIG problem! How can those people live with themselves? Who is teaching them to have such contempt for foreigners? We give them a rope to pull themselves out of trouble and they choose to hang the person who has thrown it!

I am not too sure what is being taught in the classrooms and in the temples, but, the message --if there is one-- is definitely not clearly understood or applied! They complain about Thai men not behaving the way they want, yet, they behave exactly like them! Holly crap! Are these people serious or what? We give them a rope to pull themselves out of trouble and they choose to hang the person who has thrown it!

Unbelievable! What are those people being taught in the temples or in the schools? Are they taught to behave with honour? With self-respect? Or is the message not understood? Who is not getting it? Who is not getting the logic?

Anyway, I have never paid this "salary" and don't plan to! Apparently others are and they are not helping the cause of regular men looking for clean women!

Thanks to all posters who thought it was best to reply to this post with constructive comments and advice!

All others, keep drinking, praying, or... posting!

Edited August 8, 2009 by rethaired

[rethaired]

Thai girls/partners are no different to partners elswhere in the world - she understands for well that what she is asking of you is no more proper or acceptable than a European partner asking the same of you in similar circumstances back home - what she is relieing on, is a practise that small group of Thai girls in the so-called "bright lights" industry become expert at, and that is getting their ex-pat partner to think and accept that their relationship revolves around a set of values associated with "money". It's abusive and they know it.

how would you feel if you were in relationship with a woman who makes 1 million $ a month but she would tell you to keep your 1.500$ /month factory job where you have to work 15 hours a day 6 days a week.

she would also tell you she's not dating your parents and doesn't give a toss if they're able to get food on the table.

that would be weird huh..

Hold it there! When I was 30, I was working my a** off! She is 30 and she wants to cruise! I had to work until I was 47 and I have 3 more years to go! At that time I will have to help myself until I die! No one is going to! And, who is going to help my parents? So, let's sum up! We are supposed to help the GF, the parents, and our parents too! Thailand is pricing themselves out of the competition! Western dating and relationships might look more and more like a better deal!

To use the 1 million a month in our home country is not reflective of what Western men make or get (all things being equal) here in Thailand! If I made 1 million a month, I probably would not care! I guess the equivalent would be 150,000 B a month! I just don't make or get that kind of money! SO, I am not too sure if Thai women understand things! Maybe they are misinformed!

Edited August 8, 2009 by rethaired

[paulh1978]

haven't people got better things to do on a sat night than to read this s**t

[473geo]

Thai girls/partners are no different to partners elswhere in the world - she understands for well that what she is asking of you is no more proper or acceptable than a European partner asking the same of you in similar circumstances back home - what she is relieing on, is a practise that small group of Thai girls in the so-called "bright lights" industry become expert at, and that is getting their ex-pat partner to think and accept that their relationship revolves around a set of values associated with "money". It's abusive and they know it.

how would you feel if you were in relationship with a woman who makes 1 million $ a month but she would tell you to keep your 1.500$ /month factory job where you have to work 15 hours a day 6 days a week.

she would also tell you she's not dating your parents and doesn't give a toss if they're able to get food on the table.

that would be weird huh..

Hold it there! When I was 30, I was working my a** off! She is 30 and she wants to cruise! I had to work until I was 47 and I have 3 more years to go! At that time I will have to help myself until I die! No one is going to! And, who is going to help my parents? So, let's sum up! We are supposed to help the GF, the parents, and our parents too! Thailand is pricing themselves out of the competition! Western dating and relationships might look more and more like a better deal!

To use the 1 million a month in our home country is not reflective of what Western men make or get (all things being equal) here in Thailand! If I made 1 million a month, I probably would not care! I guess the equivalent would be 150,000 B a month! I just don't make or get that kind of money! SO, I am not too sure if Thai women understand things! Maybe they are misinformed!

I thought it was a perfectly valid intelligent post.......the numbers may be a little overstated but the principal remains the same.....

[Birdman]

paulh1978 Posted Today, 2009-08-08 22:43:39

haven't people got better things to do on a sat night than to read this s**t

well, that's quiet entertaining. Better than TV or bars or katoey shows or Thai boxing or Pizza Hut or whatever...

However if you are approaching intellectual issues you are totally right and I have to say guilty as charged.

Edited August 8, 2009 by Birdman

[473geo]

haven't people got better things to do on a sat night than to read this s**t

let alone waste their precious time posting.....eh.......

[jackr]

If you're toing and froing, why have a g/f anyway?

I wouldn't even give it the time of an explanation. Dropped like a hot brick and erased from memory. Saying that, you could leave her a message along the lines of 'why would I pay 30k for one lazy so n so when I can have 20 good women for the same EVERY month!' That'd be sure to have her seething.

All the breast

[G54]

My previous asked for 20K a month. That is why she is my ex g/f.

How can you even ask if you should give her a salary?

Tell her you can hire a maid to do the housework at 5K a month and maybe also get some extras thrown in.

For 30K she can clean the house every day with a toothbrush to earn the money + you will want a lot of 'extras' thrown in like she pays for the food, the beers, the restaurant, the car, the fuel, the bills and you want the sex too:p

[paulh1978]

at the end off the day if you pay your bird 30gs a month she not love you

all she sees is a walking atm

dont mug your self fool!!!!!!!

[ttthailand]

These girls only want to get something for their work...If you are 20+ years older then her I am sure she is not ( at least in the beginning ) in it because you turn her on and is madly in love with you. This is however the way relationships normally are in most countries between two people of about the same age. Remember the crazy love when you were young. Money didn't matter as long as the two of you were together. Here is different.

These Thai girls are giving up the best years of their lifes and are looking for something in return. Same as us, they need something in the bank to get them through those later years when we may not be around. Don't think for one nimute that a wastern girl will of any age will quit her job and start living with a guy ( of any age) and not get something in return. The 30,000TB is a little much but something around half that should be acceptable. She needs a future !

If you are only in the relationship for the short time and don't give a rats behind about the girl then don't give her anything. If you want to continue with her see what she reaally needs in the way of cash for family and her savings and provide it to her. She may even fall in love with you even if you are a fat old SOB.

[StatlerandWaldorf]

Cast your line into the waters and catch another girl

It surprises me how many farang have GF over here for themselves when they come here for only couple a week here and then. I can grantee that 99% of these GF have more than one BF.

Ask her how many BF she has and then divide the salary by that. Or just get a new GF when you come over here. It is a lot more fun and cost efffffffffffffffffffffffffffective too

I would suggest reading some books about these matters. A good 'fiction' eye opener is called Cybergirl, is it really fiction, or based on truth? you decide. It should be available in most book shops or you can order online at bangkokbooks dot com

My name Lon is another interesting read, but it just made me angry at the idiot girl.