My Gf Wants A Salary!

[TopDogger]

I was out with a gang of guys on wednesday night and this topic came up, one guy reckons he pays his girlfriend by the "session " ,he says she cant leave him alone !, i thought that was hilarious,....

Sounds like a nice gf, why doesn't he call her his personal hoe?

The girl I'm seeing at the moment doesn't cost a penny and she wants slamming every night like its gonna be her last..

[Ijustwannateach]

I can't stand to read through this whole thread, but as I've seen it come up day after day- my response to the title would be (and it's probably be done):

"Well, she'd better get a job."

[mrnosey]

If paying a salary, it's only fair that you give them weekends and public holidays "off" to spend with their brother- Maybe throw in a medical insurance plan (which covers family members) and a company car too.

[thesunset75]

Where can I send application to ?

BTW I dont need a car, cant drive anyway.

Edited August 17, 2009 by thesunset75

[Kf6vci]

My wife is working - for almost 9 grand less including overtime. It is a skilled and responsible job using SAP software etc.

We share living expenses. - In your case, it's the thought that counts.

I see major issues - go find a new GF who likes you for yourself.

Good luck!

[bangla]

I was out with a gang of guys on wednesday night and this topic came up, one guy reckons he pays his girlfriend by the "session " ,he says she cant leave him alone !, i thought that was hilarious,....

Sounds like a nice gf, why doesn't he call her his personal hoe?

The girl I'm seeing at the moment doesn't cost a penny and she wants slamming every night like its gonna be her last..

are you saying you don't spend a penny on your girlfriend?

no flowers? no dinner? no shoes? no clothes? no tamboon? no jewelry? no drinks?

what dreamworld are you living in?

i'd like to visit it.

[bifftastic]

It can be viewed as quite normal to help support your g/f and show you love her by being generous, without having to be asked.

Because in the west we don't necesarily do that, although it's nice to buy the missus something from time to time, she will often do the same in return, so some Thai ladies think they have to make allowances for our lack of understanding of this whole, money/love thing.

Then there are others who just take the p*ss and ask for a salary!

I think the advice on buying some new trainers then using them to run as fast as you can is quite sound. Then again, you have to make your own mind up and I think you need to have a conversation with her about the difference between your values and hers. if you make it clear to her that this arrangement, if done in your country, would be seen as an unusual arrangement because relationships are based on love and not money and that a 'kept woman' is like a mia noi or second wife/mistress and is not very far removed from having your own private prostitute and she understands that and still wants a salary then I reckon you know what to do!

When I talk to my g/f she says things like 'oh honey now i bollow money my friend 500baht! not hab to pay back' off i go to western union and drop her 1500baht, she's very pleased because a) she didn't ask me directly for money and b ) because i'm understanding of her extended network of friends that all help each other out and she can help her mates out, pay back the 500baht and keep the interdependency going so she will be able to borrow again from her friend and c) i'm not seen as being stingy and can show her that I think about her needs, don't want her to lose face if her mate needs the 500 back, and help her if I can.

Also I feel good because I'm helping her, and i feel that she's not taking the p*ss. If I haven't got it to give her i say something like 'oh honey me too i borrow £50 from my friend because I don't get paid till next week' it's always nice to be the first one to chip in with ('honey! motorcar hab ploblem!!!') then we talk about how tight things are at the moment and everything's ok, pay day i will probably drop her 1000baht then sms the transaction number and tell her to go buy something for herself, if i'm flush i might splash out a bit but only in the same way i would do with a girl here in the UK, make a bit of a show and buy her something or take her shopping.

Every relationship is different and there is definitely a different view in Thailand about b/f giving g/f money as generosity is a way of showing her you care about her.

Some of them take the p*ss and stretch the lack of understanding on your part about this 'phenomenon' and you will need to find out if your g/f is taking the p*ss or not and make your own mind up. Some girls in the UK take the p*ss too, up to you to find out. Also, if you 'flashed the cash' too much when you were with her she may think you're loaded and feel entitled to the status of being kept by you and she might think that you will get a lot of prestige from the whole deal. She is probably wrong in thinking that but i really think you need to have a proper honest conversation with her about how this makes you feel.

Then go buy the trainers :-)

Edited August 17, 2009 by bifftastic

[TopDogger]

I was out with a gang of guys on wednesday night and this topic came up, one guy reckons he pays his girlfriend by the "session " ,he says she cant leave him alone !, i thought that was hilarious,....

Sounds like a nice gf, why doesn't he call her his personal hoe?

The girl I'm seeing at the moment doesn't cost a penny and she wants slamming every night like its gonna be her last..

are you saying you don't spend a penny on your girlfriend?

no flowers? no dinner? no shoes? no clothes? no tamboon? no jewelry? no drinks?

what dreamworld are you living in?

i'd like to visit it.

I said she doesn't COST a penny.

If I choose to buy flowers (which happens once a year), go out to eat, or give her some cash to go shopping thats upto me and is by no means required/contractual OR handed out upon request..

Anyway, from my experience it would be quite easy to hold down a gf without handing out " flowers? dinner? shoes? clothes? tamboon? jewelry? drinks?"... The dinner part might be a little tricky as couples need to eat together, but I suppose you/she could cook at home.. What part of that is such a dreamworld for you, perhaps there might be some remote possibility that the girl might just enjoy spending time with you and isn't so fussed about materialistic stuff, I know this may be a completely alien concept but I'm thinking it might just be the case in some relationships??

[bangla]

well.. letting your girlfriend pay for everything and only eat at home and let her cook..

i don't see that happening unless you're a gigolo.

[jazzbo]

The girl I'm seeing at the moment doesn't cost a penny and she wants slamming every night like its gonna be her last.. tongue.gif

Yeah, she used to be that way with me, too.

[TopDogger]

The girl I'm seeing at the moment doesn't cost a penny and she wants slamming every night like its gonna be her last.. tongue.gif

Yeah, she used to be that way with me, too.

haha.. yeah in your dreams..

Edited August 17, 2009 by TopDogger

[cyb]

well.. letting your girlfriend pay for everything and only eat at home and let her cook..

i don't see that happening unless you're a gigolo.

I have looked very hard and i cannot see where he says his g/f pays for everything.

Bangla should have gone to specsavers

[Datsun240Z]

She is not a BG, but works in the tourism industry (and I know that for a fact since she has a licence. I cannot know if she was a BG before. She has never told me! Joking! Let's be honest! No man alive can know for sure what was the dark-side of a woman IF she does not want you to know! She might tell you, but will you know for sure it is not another story! In her line of work, she sometimes frequents BGs.

She does not come from Isaan, but she is a farmer's daughter. She is 30. I am 47.

I am splitting the B 4000 rent as she used to pay 2000 B for 12 m2 apartment and I would have to pay minimum about B 4000 myself. So this seemed a win-win situation for both of us. I usually pay for food and give her sometimes other gifts when people do.

I am in the process of buying a car, but she wants me to put it on her name and, when I tell her, I want to put it in on my name, she does not want the car anymore. This makes me VERY suspicious, especially considering she does not have a downpayment. She asks me to trust her, but then when I ask her to trust me to put the name of the car on my name (so that she can theoretically be absolved of all the financial responsibilities and allow her to save some to have a downpayment for land/house and such, which is a good compromise since foreigners cannot own land anyway), she is not interested, saying that she is not able to save money!

Slap yourself twice and give your head a serious shake. Then vote with your feet. 30k is one thing but putting the car in her name spells setup. When will the falang learn? Its no wonder many girls think they have won the lottery.

Just be carefull, that's all I can say.

[thesunset75]

I think THB 30,000 is cheap.

I dont have to work but earn $3,000 per month

No, of course not from my poor bf hahaha

[Waters99]

What is the planned long term commitment between both of you? Any plans for marriage a few years into the future? If so, bring her to your country to first learn the language and get to know your family - all at your cost. She may adapt and become enterprising in some small business and rake in some income for the home.

If there is no intention for long term commitment, tell her so, and give her a sum so she can survive on her own for 3 months, and set her free to find her destiny.

She's already proved 'enterprising'.

Run - it is totally screwed up the minute you cave into this demand. Then will come the 'my mother needs an operation', 'the cow is sick', 'we only rent land and have to split the rice yield with the owner', 'the house is flooded' etc etc - all true too - but you've now officially become the living pension plan - and it won't stop.

You're doomed. Run.

[MrHammer]

After having spent many years together (on and off, as I go back to my home country to work), my GF is asking for a salary, but she tells this is not about business, it is about love! I ask her how much? She tells me bar girls can get about 30,000 B, so maybe my salary should be about the same. Of course, she was shy about talking about this at the beginning, because "it is not polite"! I am supposed to be a gentleman! I also must help her parents! I must also help my parents. Is she helping my parents? Is she going to? Nope! I am confused! Should I run?

Sadly this senario seems to be the norm with Thai girls when they become involved with Farangs.

Quite honestly, they`re not worth even giving the time of day to and there is a word for women who request money for being a girl friend - prostitution.

Word!

[Datsun240Z]

After having spent many years together (on and off, as I go back to my home country to work), my GF is asking for a salary, but she tells this is not about business, it is about love! I ask her how much? She tells me bar girls can get about 30,000 B, so maybe my salary should be about the same. Of course, she was shy about talking about this at the beginning, because "it is not polite"! I am supposed to be a gentleman! I also must help her parents! I must also help my parents. Is she helping my parents? Is she going to? Nope! I am confused! Should I run?

Sadly this senario seems to be the norm with Thai girls when they become involved with Farangs.

Quite honestly, they`re not worth even giving the time of day to and there is a word for women who request money for being a girl friend - prostitution.

Word!

This is what breaks and hurts so many farang hearts..at LOS. Not blaming that girl right away. As said before to the OP, just be carefull, and do what you think is best, not only giving what she wants, if she then says she is no longer your girlfriend, it aint real.

[jazzbo]

TopDogger... such intimations of humility... you must be on the far right of the Kinsey Curve.

[jazzbo]

... And I'll add this K. TOPdogger -- I don't know your TG (or at least I don't think I do) but I do know a bunch of Thai girls that if they ever read or found out what you wrote about them on ThaiVisa.Com (and none of them speak English) they would kick you in the balls so hard that you might never slam anyone again EXCEPT IN YOUR DREAMS.

[cyb]

I was going to make a comment, But what is the point of repeating the last few posts?.

Edited August 19, 2009 by cyb

[jazzbo]

So what was your comment to be? That you slam your Thai girlfriend of the moment harder than Topdogger and then she pays you?

[robblok]

I really have to wonder about all the guys i see here giving their gf salaries. Maybe they are just old and ugly and their gf's are beauty queens because else i cant explain it.

I have seen relations between farang and Thai here in BKK but they dont get any salaries they just have their own jobs. I see this with all my friends. Perhaps all my friends are good looking too (i doubt it) or the rest of you are just so insecure they result to buying girls.

I know it takes more time to find the good girls and they might not always be the top beauty queens that you can see walking around but at least you know they want you for yourself and not for your monthly money.

Just to test if your gf loves you stop paying.. if she leaves you know the answer.

The only time i can agree to paying a gf salary if you expect her to give up her job for you. Then i see it as only fair.

Bangla his nice comments on never paying anything for a girl and trying to get away from the normal subject is just BSl. In every relation of course you sometimes pay something for the other. But that is a whole different ball game as giving a monthly salary.

Anyone with half a brain can see that its just a way of clouding the subject and diverting attention from the core question. If i give a present its because i want to at that point of time not because i have to pay the set amount of monthly money. If i don't pay for a present she wont walk out on me or make problems, try holding out on monthly payments and see what happens.

It could also be that mr bangla never spend enough time in Thailand to court a girl and has to result to buying the easier girls. That would explain the difference between expats who live in a country and tourists who visit it once in a while. The tourists hope that by sending money over the girl stays loyal to them and not succumb to temptations while the expats have more time to select a girl and keep an eye on them.

Edited August 19, 2009 by robblok

[bangla]

Bangla his nice comments on never paying anything for a girl and trying to get away from the normal subject is just BSl. In every relation of course you sometimes pay something for the other. But that is a whole different ball game as giving a monthly salary.

so statements like 'i don't spend a penny on my girlfriend' are BS.

if i would live in thailand all year round and would have an income of let's say 100k a month then there would be no way in hel_l i would let my wife keep her crappy 5k a month 6 days a week and 12 hours a day job.

i would give her an allowance for housekeeping, shopping, studying.. whatever.

if some people call it salary or 'buying a girl' then its up to them. i really don't care.

better that then being the ultimate cheap charlie and letting your partner keep her underpaid slave job while you have the big bucks in your savings account.

It could also be that mr bangla never spend enough time in Thailand to court a girl and has to result to buying the easier girls.

That would explain the difference between expats who live in a country and tourists who visit it once in a while. The tourists hope that by sending money over the girl stays loyal to them and not succumb to temptations while the expats have more time to select a girl and keep an eye on them.

lol

perhaps i don't have to live and work in a country for 10 years to court a girl.

Edited August 19, 2009 by bangla

[doggie888888]

Perhaps with the salary should come a detailed job description, monthly performance reviews, on-the-job training and if you are feeling generous, an annual bonus.

[TopDogger]

... And I'll add this K. TOPdogger -- I don't know your TG (or at least I don't think I do) but I do know a bunch of Thai girls that if they ever read or found out what you wrote about them on ThaiVisa.Com (and none of them speak English) they would kick you in the balls so hard that you might never slam anyone again EXCEPT IN YOUR DREAMS.

lol... Yeah, I'm sure she would be absolutely devastated to know I posted that on a faceless & nameless internet forum occupied in the majority by people she would never care to meet.

All the while her friends and colleagues think we play toy soldiers and tiddlywinks together when spending time alone..

Jog on son, take you winging and moaning elsewhere..

PS Jazzbo. She got an absolute punishing last night.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Is this waste of space still running ? Small things.....

[jazzbo]

As I have been warned off by the esteemed Moderator crew, my final winging and moaning will just be 2 Thai words:

law-ray-NAH bah-BEET

[PeaceBlondie]

Teach her this old Patience and Prudence song:

"Got along without you before I met you;

Gonna get along without you now."

[SMEEERE]

I was out with a gang of guys on wednesday night and this topic came up, one guy reckons he pays his girlfriend by the "session " ,he says she cant leave him alone !, i thought that was hilarious,....

Sounds like a nice gf, why doesn't he call her his personal hoe?

The girl I'm seeing at the moment doesn't cost a penny and she wants slamming every night like its gonna be her last..

are you saying you don't spend a penny on your girlfriend?

no flowers? no dinner? no shoes? no clothes? no tamboon? no jewelry? no drinks?

what dreamworld are you living in?

i'd like to visit it.

Thats exactly what he has, and he couldnt give a toss, that you are romantically involved with a free one is your choice, ( but why dont i beleive there is such a thing ) ,il bet you are under 30 and a yank ?.i used to kid myself at that age Edited August 19, 2009 by SMEEERE

[robblok]

Bangla his nice comments on never paying anything for a girl and trying to get away from the normal subject is just BSl. In every relation of course you sometimes pay something for the other. But that is a whole different ball game as giving a monthly salary.

so statements like 'i don't spend a penny on my girlfriend' are BS.

if i would live in thailand all year round and would have an income of let's say 100k a month then there would be no way in hel_l i would let my wife keep her crappy 5k a month 6 days a week and 12 hours a day job.

i would give her an allowance for housekeeping, shopping, studying.. whatever.

if some people call it salary or 'buying a girl' then its up to them. i really don't care.

better that then being the ultimate cheap charlie and letting your partner keep her underpaid slave job while you have the big bucks in your savings account.

It could also be that mr bangla never spend enough time in Thailand to court a girl and has to result to buying the easier girls.

That would explain the difference between expats who live in a country and tourists who visit it once in a while. The tourists hope that by sending money over the girl stays loyal to them and not succumb to temptations while the expats have more time to select a girl and keep an eye on them.

lol

perhaps i don't have to live and work in a country for 10 years to court a girl.

So i was right that you were just a tourist, that explains a few things and also about the kind of girls you meet. And no you dont have to be in the country long to court a girl you go to her parent and ask how much for her like she is a piece of meat. Its all clear to me now. Thanks i now understand you a lot better.

I would also help my gf if she had a 5k job.. but even minimum wages are higher then that. I wonder where you got that amount from. I would help her set something up so she would make her own money instead of having her dependent on me so i could control her.

After posting in this topic i felt the need to consult with some of my Thai lady friends on this subject. They told me that giving a girl money is in a way keeping control over her and making her dependent on the guy. Its the way of rich Thais with their mia nois. The girls i know all make 20k up (still not super much cash) and have finished university.

I guess helping a girl have an better source of income would be a bad idea for most of the guys because then they loose control. We cant have that can we.