So Are You “all That” Too?

[mooncake]

So are you “all that” too?

I have read here bunches of …

OH my thai gf/wife is… a good cook, BEAUTIFUL, YOUNG, SEXY, and she‘s taking care of me good….bla bla bla

Howcome I seldom come across the words…..smart, funny, she’s my best friend…etcs?

So just some questions…

what do you think the gf/or wife says about you to her friends?

What did you bring into the marriage, beside money mostly?…Because it seems you think you’re “a prize catch” and “all that”!

And from my general impression here on TV - both directly and indirectly, that “most” of you just want… a bedmate, a maid, or a butler….and nothing else?

Is that why you like “thai” women, because they are good at “servicing”?…don’t care much for a brain or good communicating ability or sharing the same values & belief or outlooks in life?

This is the conclusion I get from reading thaivisa, esp in the “General Forum”, that most of you seem to have “many problems” dealing with your partner outside the bedroom and at many times…to the point of frustration.

This is not meant to be a funny or sarcastic question, but a genuine enquire wants to know type of…..

How do you define the word “marriage” and your view of the life partner?…and why with the thai woman, in particular? Even though some of you don’t seem to like Thailand much.

Edited September 16, 2009 by mooncake

[soundman]

Well, my wife cannot cook, doesn't/will not clean, is good at spending all the money on FK what, can be extremely stubborn & obstinate, a little like her husband , however, there must be something there as we have known each other/been together for more than 13 years.

[bkkjames]

This is the kind of topic that could get me suspended again but not today

Anyways, stereotypes and preconcieved notions aside - I fell in love with my wife because she is smart (sometimes too much), witty, caring and has a deep interest in exploring different cultures. She puts up with my quirks and faults (too many to list here). Oh not to forget that she has a love of good food like me, regardless of where it comes from - good food is good food, no matter the country of origin. Although she is cooking-challenged, thankfully my love of preparing food seems to match well with her love of consuming it.

And last but not least, from what I have seen since her pregnancy and now 4 months after the birth of our son, her dedication, self sacrifice and love of him only reconfirms what I saw in her in the first place.

Hope this cheers you up Mooncake.

Edited September 16, 2009 by bkkjames

[babuhavas]

So are you “all that” too?

I have read here bunches of …

OH my thai gf/wife is… a good cook, BEAUTIFUL, YOUNG, SEXY, and she‘s taking care of me good….bla bla bla

Howcome I seldom come across the words…..smart, funny, she’s my best friend…etcs?

So just some questions…

what do you think the gf/or wife says about you to her friends?

What did you bring into the marriage, beside money mostly?…Because it seems you think you’re “a prize catch” and “all that”!

And from my general impression here on TV - both directly and indirectly, that “most” of you just want… a bedmate, a maid, or a butler….and nothing else?

Is that why you like “thai” women, because they are good at “servicing”?…don’t care much for a brain or good communicating ability or sharing the same values & belief or outlooks in life?

This is the conclusion I get from reading thaivisa, esp in the “General Forum”, that most of you seem to have “many problems” dealing with your partner outside the bedroom and at many times…to the point of frustration.

This is not meant to be a funny or sarcastic question, but a genuine enquire wants to know type of…..

How do you define the word “marriage” and your view of the life partner?…and why with the thai woman, in particular? Even though some of you don’t seem to like Thailand much.

Don't you have anything else to do in morning?

[DonJuanDemarco]

Do you know all those sad pathetic farang you see everyday in Thailand?... well, they all post here, and to their respect, the Mods will quickly close this thread.

Edited September 16, 2009 by DonJuanDemarco

[mooncake]

^^ umm....not really and you?

James:

Oh I'm not depressing or anything, but just want to know more why so many others say otherwise.

Edited September 16, 2009 by mooncake

[bkkjames]

Do you know all those sad pathetic farang you see everyday in Thailand?... well, they all post here, and to their respect, the Mods will quickly close this thread.

Perhaps they would consider just closing you mate?

[mooncake]

Do you know all those sad pathetic farang you see everyday in Thailand?... well, they all post here, and to their respect, the Mods will quickly close this thread.

aahh least likely, bcz this is what they called .... a "quality" thread...

I've done my research

[robblok]

I have once been married to a Thai wife from hel_l. It was my own mistake but i was young and not wise in the ways of Thailand. I had already decided that i wanted a smart girl because of my experiences in the past with european woman. Unfortunately i was not smart enough because i thought that owning a business equals being smart. So when i met my (ex) wife who owned a salon with 5 employees i thought she was smart. This was my second trip to thailand and i was only 24 or so. Fell in love married her only later to find out she was not as smart as i thought had no intrest in learning my language and in general turned into the wife from hel_l after associating with the wrong kind of people.

After that disaster that lasted too long because i felt responsible for her kids who were also in Holland now because of me i moved to Thailand and she got married 2 more times with the same result as with me.

I found a nice girl and i checked a lot better this time for a girl who like me loved the ocean and was spontaneous, with a sense of humor and most of all used her brain and spoke good English. I would never again make the mistake i made with my first wife. Still when i see other girls (im allowed too) i go for average girls with a brain because conversation and talking are important. Sex is great but it never lasts so in my view its better to have a girl with other qualities too.

After my first disaster i realized how important communication is, so that plus a good set of brains is what i go for. Ok she has to look ok too dont like going out with the swamp thing. But she does not have to be a stunner.

[mooncake]

Someone has to say it..

The reason most of us have a TGF or wife is to avoid women like you that subject a relationship to analysis to the point of death. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable on a purely physical level, if that is the case for some. Get in where you fit in, some men do not need the hysterics of western womens' ideals/paradigms jammed down their throat.

nuff said.

Oz

me.....a western woman?

So you haven't come across any thai woman who can read, write, and think in your own native language?....hmm

and

what's so wrong as a woman to be analytically on things? It shows we too have brain along with breast!

Why couldn't you handle those with brain along with their famininity too?

Edited September 16, 2009 by mooncake

[DonJuanDemarco]

OP's writing appears masculine to me at first glance. I doubt its a female.

[ozsamurai]

1) I made no assumption YOU were a western woman

2) There are some things in life that do not need to be analyzed, love is one of them.

3) My wife has her Masters Degree in Psychology and is hot to boot, your point is??

Oz

[mooncake]

After my first disaster i realized how important communication is, so that plus a good set of brains is what i go for.

I totally agree, and good communication is very important in a relationship, esp very well in the same language would help a lot.

But how do you know that she is a smart gal?.....What is your definition of the word "smart"?

It's hard enough to have a relationship with someone who is speaking the same language as you, it must be a 10 folds difficult with 2 languages in it.

I just don't know how many of you here can do it. I just couldn't. But ofcourse I can do everything in english, so it's quite easy for me and Mr. Mooncake to communicate w/ each other on our many wants/needs/ and problems to be solved.

[mooncake]

OP's writing appears masculine to me at first glance. I doubt its a female.

Oh you mean, I have stong opinion on things?

Why?...Haven't you come cross many women like moi? ....in your circle?

[LooseCannon]

^^ umm....not really and you?

James:

Oh I'm not depressing or anything, but just want to know more why so many others say otherwise.

I think you might have hit a raw nerve......

I have encountered literally hundreds of Thai/farang couples over the last 30 odd years & one thing that has struck me, at least amongst the ones that I have got to know better, is the lack of communication & the lack of understanding between the partners. It seems that they are living together but have separate lives. A union of convenience. Mismatched pairing.This is just an observation noted by both my wife & myself, nothing scientific, not all couples, but a significant majority. Of course things could be totally different in private.

I have said it before - my wife is my best friend.

I like being with her because I really enjoy talking to her - we talk about anything & everything - life, politics, work, people, the future , the past.....

[eek]

oz..im sorry, but that just seems like a pretty quick cover up...but anyway, regardless.. it does highlight that there are often negative assumptions made regarding western women around here. Although most of the topics on this forum are made by men, with various different themes, including some similar to the OP's..as soon as a women makes a post like this its labeled "hysterics of western womens' ideals/paradigms" being "jammed down [mens] throat"

Edit: sorry off-topic. When i read your OP mooncake, when it didnt have any replies, i thought "this is going to be interesting..."

Edited September 16, 2009 by eek

[G54]

Is the OP taking the piss?

Cook? That is a laugh. I have never had a Thai g/f who can cook more than very basic foods. If I want a woman who can cook I'd be with their mothers. As it is I do the cooking around here, thanks.

What does she say about me behind my back? That she is happy with my size.

I for one do not simply want a bedmate, a butler, a servant or any sort of slave. A companion is what I am looking for. One who likes to do the same things as me. Someone to go places with and have fun with. Maybe one to have a future with.

If she has a brain or not is besides the point and if we can 'service' each other to our satisfaction, then all the better

I cannot answer why 'with a Thai woman' as the mods on here would ban me, or give me hel_l

I think, maybe, you have the wrong idea about a lot of us and really need to understand where many of us have come from and what many of us - thankfully - left behind.

If you think many of us are 'down' on Thai women, then you really also need to understand that many Thai women (NOT ALL) are out to lie and deceive and rip off a Farang for what they can get. Those women are the ones that get talked about most.

The women who are good wives / partners rarely get mentioned, we keep most of them tucked away under the bedcovers.

[jubby]

If Mooncake has a genuine interest in this subject then why not give her some genuine answers. No need to be rude or anything. I can sort of see where she's coming from .

My wife is all those things too. She didn't have much of an education in Thailand, but 10 years in England taught her a few things for sure. Travel broadens the mind as they say, and she's well travelled for sure. She's is very smart; very loving and also my best friend . And a very important thing for me is she's Female. What she see's in me ? I don't really know. She doesn't read the forum , So you can't really ask her either.

[robblok]

After my first disaster i realized how important communication is, so that plus a good set of brains is what i go for.

I totally agree, and good communication is very important in a relationship, esp very well in the same language would help a lot.

But how do you know that she is a smart gal?.....What is your definition of the word "smart"?

It's hard enough to have a relationship with someone who is speaking the same language as you, it must be a 10 folds difficult with 2 languages in it.

I just don't know how many of you here can do it. I just couldn't. But ofcourse I can do everything in english, so it's quite easy for me and Mr. Mooncake to communicate w/ each other on our many wants/needs/ and problems to be solved.

That is a good one, as we are all smart on other fields. Generally i just look for someone who is logical (ok hard to find logical woman ). I just talk a lot with the person and hope to find out that way if they are smart or not. I know its not easy but cant hand out IQ tests . Also i look a lil bit at their education and their job. I prefer to find someone not too far off from my own intelligence, when i was real young 20 or so i was with a dutch girl and there was a big difference in intelligence and that kinda ended the relationship after the love was gone. But i must say that was a big difference. (not that i am that smart).

I think in general after some long conversations you will know if someone is smart or not, but it of course depends what you talk about.

[carmine]

This is the kind of topic that could get me suspended again but not today

Anyways, stereotypes and preconcieved notions aside - I fell in love with my wife because she is smart (sometimes too much), witty, caring and has a deep interest in exploring different cultures. She puts up with my quirks and faults (too many to list here). Oh not to forget that she has a love of good food like me, regardless of where it comes from - good food is good food, no matter the country of origin. Although she is cooking-challenged, thankfully my love of preparing food seems to match well with her love of consuming it.

And last but not least, from what I have seen since her pregnancy and now 4 months after the birth of our son, her dedication, self sacrifice and love of him only reconfirms what I saw in her in the first place.

Hope this cheers you up Mooncake.

Great post, your a lucky man.

[robblok]

oz..im sorry, but that just seems like a pretty quick cover up...but anyway, regardless.. it does highlight that there are often negative assumptions made regarding western women around here. Although most of the topics on this forum are made by men, with various different themes, including some similar to the OP's..as soon as a women makes a post like this its labeled "hysterics of western womens' ideals/paradigms" being "jammed down [mens] throat"

Edit: sorry off-topic. When i read your OP mooncake, when it didnt have any replies, i thought "this is going to be interesting..."

Eek i just wonder why western woman cant accept that some guys just don't like them and prefer Asians. It stands to reason you will find more of those guys here average. I can accept that not every girl likes someone with muscles and think that im an airhead, why is it so hard for others to accept that your cannot be liked by everyone.

[Colonel_Mustard]

It's hard enough to have a relationship with someone who is speaking the same language as you, it must be a 10 folds difficult with 2 languages in it.

I just don't know how many of you here can do it. I just couldn't. But ofcourse I can do everything in english, so it's quite easy for me and Mr. Mooncake to communicate w/ each other on our many wants/needs/ and problems to be solved.

Just out of interest what nationality are you and Mr. Mooncake? It would appear from your posts that you are not a native English speaker (yet you suggest you communicate in English with your husband), so perhaps you are also in a bilingual relationship and thus should be aware of any linguistic difficulties facing such relationships.

I find my wife to be intelligent (though not particularly well educated), witty, caring, inquisitive, attractive and a thoroughly decent human being. In fact she is pretty much the opposite of me, however for some reason it all seems to work quite nicely and seems to suit us both.

Sure from time to time there are misunderstandings, both from a cultural and linguistic viewpoint, but we seem to be able to overcome such issues with the minimum of fuss, so I don't really see it as a problem.

[mooncake]

2) There are some things in life that do not need to be analyzed, love is one of them.

Me think you must be living in a pink bubble. Don't you want to know why she loves you?

So you just get married if you feel "right"?

You're pulling my legs if you seriously did not do some analyzing her out before you marry her.

Who wouldn't here, must be nutz. I think we "all" do, with more or less and to certain extent.

The ones that do with less, seem to have the most problems later on, and many of those problems do get on thaivisa, if you care to read many pages back.

So why didn't they take time in cultivating their relationship? Why in such hurry jumping in, and complaining about this & that, and everything & everybody else here later on thaivisa, except their own bad decision to begin with?

Reading the geneal forum here many pages back, it seems most of you here think you are ALL THAT, and always the fault of thailand, thai people, and your girls........

No your rebuttal #2 is too weak for me.

Edited September 16, 2009 by mooncake

[eek]

oz..im sorry, but that just seems like a pretty quick cover up...but anyway, regardless.. it does highlight that there are often negative assumptions made regarding western women around here. Although most of the topics on this forum are made by men, with various different themes, including some similar to the OP's..as soon as a women makes a post like this its labeled "hysterics of western womens' ideals/paradigms" being "jammed down [mens] throat"

Edit: sorry off-topic. When i read your OP mooncake, when it didnt have any replies, i thought "this is going to be interesting..."

Eek i just wonder why western woman cant accept that some guys just don't like them and prefer Asians. It stands to reason you will find more of those guys here average. I can accept that not every girl likes someone with muscles and think that im an airhead, why is it so hard for others to accept that your cannot be liked by everyone.

robblok, my point isnt about attraction, my point is about common courtesy, respect, and manners. Whether i would be attracted to someone regardless of their nationality or not, is regardless. I dont instantly judge them based on their sex or race etc. Personally i find Thai men more attractive than Western men also, but that doesnt mean i no longer have decent manners towards western men, even the Hawaii shirt comb-over ones! (and..God..before anyone takes offense over that (Hawaii shirt comb-over reference)..it is meant as a joke..)

[robblok]

robblok, my point isnt about attraction, my point is about common courtesy, respect, and manners. Whether i would be attracted to someone regardless of their nationality or not, is regardless. I dont instantly judge them based on their sex or race etc. Personally i find Thai men more attractive than Western men also, but that doesnt mean i no longer have decent manners towards western men, even the Hawaii shirt comb-over ones! (and..God..before anyone takes offense over that (Hawaii shirt comb-over reference)..it is meant as a joke..)

You have just insulted my Dutch sensitivities i love Hawaiian shirts . Im still courteous with western woman. But discussions are often hard, i can be quite blunt and hard (not on this forum but on a Dutch one) when discussing politics. Sometimes people are blunt in getting their message across. They see it one way and because your a woman and it concerns you you see it different. Im not sure im all for staying courteous, that is what is wrong in my country.. being to shy to name problems destroyed Holland. Being blut might hurt at times but i prefer it over not saying it or sugar coating what you want to say. I must add though that its a grey area between being blunt and just wanting to insult. What one sees as being direct and blunt an other sees as insults.

There was a report posted on how western woman have become more narcissistic and egocentric on the Dutch board.. you should have seen the reaction of the woman was quite fun. Do we have to go so far that we don't say what we think to spare others.. in my opinion not. Also people should learn to let go, i don't feel insulted if they say most or all Dutch people are druggies because i know i am not.

[mooncake]

Just out of interest what nationality are you and Mr. Mooncake? It would appear from your posts that you are not a native English speaker (yet you suggest you communicate in English with your husband), so perhaps you are also in a bilingual relationship and thus should be aware of any linguistic difficulties facing such relationships.

I am 100% thai, female with boobs and all that

.....born, raised, schooled in thailand - thai schools, did my university in the US

Mr. Mooncake......dutch/french/among others

We communicate in English 100% of the time - no problem for either of us whatsoever.

That's why our relationship runs quite smoothly

That's why I do have some questions in my earlier posts...of

How do some of you manage it, w/ 2 languages and neither of you good in another's?

[bonobo]

Mooncake, I can certainly see why you pose your original question.  Thinking back on the many threads here, I would guess that more men do post either negative views on Thai women, or many of the positive views tend to be that she is beautiful, sexy, etc..  And many men posting here do seem to have the "I am all that" attitude.

However, I also believe that is a somewhat limited view, and it is not representative of the population at large.  Many men have posted how much they love their wife of 10, 20, 30 years, how much she is his best friend.

But further, it is human nature to complain/brag about the extremes.  A man who is very comfortable and happy with his life does not necessarily go out shouting on the rooftops about it, especially here on a forum.  But a man who feels that he has been wronged by a woman sure might. And a older man, and I don't really want to generalize here, but I think the example is valid, who has come to Thailand and finds a younger, attractive woman who likes him (for whatever reason), might be so unused to that fact that he does feel he needs to share that with others.

I have no figures to back this up, but my gut feeling is that there is a significant percentage of men here in Thailand who are quite happy with their partners, and this happiness is not based on the age/attractiveness of them.  And I believe that there are many Thai women who do think their foreign partner is "all that," and tell their friends and family that even when he is not there.

[bonobo]

Personally i find Thai men more attractive than Western men also, but that doesnt mean i no longer have decent manners towards western men, even the Hawaii shirt comb-over ones! (and..God..before anyone takes offense over that (Hawaii shirt comb-over reference)..it is meant as a joke..)

I don't have a comb-over yet (I am getting close to the point where I need to start keeping my hair cropped to avoid it, though), but I do have a Hawaiian shirt!!!!!

(joke understood)

[robblok]

That's why I do have some questions in my earlier posts...of

How do some of you manage it, w/ 2 languages and neither of you good in another's?

For me it did not work because i wanted more then just a pretty face with a nice body. If that is all you want then it could work. But the moment there are problems its hard to communicate and things can go wrong fast then.

[Colonel_Mustard]

Just out of interest what nationality are you and Mr. Mooncake? It would appear from your posts that you are not a native English speaker (yet you suggest you communicate in English with your husband), so perhaps you are also in a bilingual relationship and thus should be aware of any linguistic difficulties facing such relationships.

I am 100% thai, female with boobs and all that

.....born, raised, schooled in thailand - thai schools, did my university in the US

Mr. Mooncake......dutch/french/among others

We communicate in English 100% of the time - no problem for either of us whatsoever.

That's why our relationship runs quite smoothly

That's why I do have some questions in my earlier posts...of

How do some of you manage it, w/ 2 languages and neither of you good in another's?

My wife is pretty fluent in English and I am reasonably fluent in Thai so communication is rarely a problem. Most of our misunderstandings are cultural rather than linguistic.