Insight Into The Way Thai's Think About Relationships Or Not?

[aussiebebe]

Maybe some of you saw it on Channel 7, if not go to ThaifreeTV.net and search for channel 7, midnight, 19th September; it's a Thai version of MTV Cribs in which a 35yo Tom-boy 'Dop', who happens to be the only child of insanely rich parents and reside with them in their 300MTB Bangkok mansion, is interviewed with her young girlfriend 'Pee Mai'.

It's clear the family have more money than sense; 8000baht tips to a lady who gives massages, a 30-wardrobe closet, an elevator for only two floors and the world's largest LCD TV at 5million baht. Dop looks and sounds quite blokish and it's easy to pass off his/her eccentricities as the actions of a lonely socialite; she gave her girlfriend a Ferrari after a few months of dating and her dowery will be a blank cheque when the pair wed next year.

The Interview

The interviewer asks the girlfriend why she likes Dop and the girl replies that she likes rich people! Right in front of Dop! Dop's reaction is that she likes her girlfriend becauses she's honest and straight-talking.

My Questions

Is this really how Thai society works, or are these people crazy? Is the financial aspect to relationships really this open and encompassing? Does it apply across the social spectrum?

[Nilrem]

Maybe some of you saw it on Channel 7, if not go to ThaifreeTV.net and search for channel 7, midnight, 19th September; it's a Thai version of MTV Cribs in which a 35yo Tom-boy 'Dop', who happens to be the only child of insanely rich parents and reside with them in their 300MTB Bangkok mansion, is interviewed with her young girlfriend 'Pee Mai'.

It's clear the family have more money than sense; 8000baht tips to a lady who gives massages, a 30-wardrobe closet, an elevator for only two floors and the world's largest LCD TV at 5million baht. Dop looks and sounds quite blokish and it's easy to pass off his/her eccentricities as the actions of a lonely socialite; she gave her girlfriend a Ferrari after a few months of dating and her dowery will be a blank cheque when the pair wed next year.

The Interview

The interviewer asks the girlfriend why she likes Dop and the girl replies that she likes rich people! Right in front of Dop! Dop's reaction is that she likes her girlfriend becauses she's honest and straight-talking.

My Questions

Is this really how Thai society works, or are these people crazy? Is the financial aspect to relationships really this open and encompassing? Does it apply across the social spectrum?

When people are spoiled they develop narcissistically. Psychologists can help crazy people and victims of violence and abuse, but it seems pampered children as adults cannot change their ways no matter what. This is the result of society worldwide when the system of self-interest becomes selfish and wants become wanton, though the problem is across the social spectrum being cultural and communal as well as societal.

As material wantonness and selfishness is negatively changing people worldwide, the Thai may be more affected than most: i.e. traditionally they've been amongst the best in caring for elders; as narcissistic behaviour spreads expect older family members to be increasingly abandoned.

[Petbon]

Surprising how a worldwide characteristic of some is somehow turned into a Thai fault. Why do nubile pretty young things marry ancient wrinklies with 2 pots (belly and cash) all around the world? They even run courses for how to nab millionaires in the west and ads appear for sugar mummies and daddies.

What's wrong with liking rich people? Oftentimes they've worked hard for their dosh and don't expect us to support them ad nauseum.

NZ guys tell me that women often want to know their financials first off! Smart girls to not waste time on men incapable of providing for children of the marriage. Lessens the burden on taxpayers who go without to keep the offspring of the irresponsible.

[a2396]

No doubt money rules the day here in relationships, particularly between a Thai & Farang. In 5 years living here, I have only met one woman who did not ask for or expect to be given regular money, early in the relationship.

[DonJuanDemarco]

Does Dop have a cousin?

[endure]

"Insight Into The Way Thai's Think About Relationships Or Not?"

Perhaps you ought to go and ask Mr and Mrs Ordinary Thai rather than the minuscule minority who appear on TV. Would you make assumptions about the general population in your own country based on those who appear on TV? Is there something in the air that makes people lose all perspective as soon as they cross their own country's borders?

[onlycw]

There is always a very down to earth pracmatic attitude towards money. Like handing out brown notes to the traveling family members.

Especially monks are not above grabbing money. It was an amazing sight at the Hospital where we got married, seeing one grab and cluth that envelope.

At the temple, there is a lot of paying for things like a bit of gold or incent sticks or flowers. The financial side is really serious!

Hey, where is the girl who would gimme a Ferrari?

In other words, she loves her money more than her.

Sad lonely girl - having to pay someone to act in love.

[Valjean]

It might help to step back a bit and take a broader and much longer view of relationships. Across cultures and time marriage and relationships have always been primary about economics and relationships beyond the couple (politics, families, village connections). Marriage as a relationship based on love is a very new mostly Western concept. This isn't about Thailand - this is the way things are (or at least were).

My 83 mother, told me that when she was a poor Ohio girl she had a goal; "I wanted a briefcase, not a lunch pail". And she married a nice middle class boy who was an officer in WW2 and who went on to be one of those quintessential hard working, hard-saving, briefcase carrying "millionaire next door types". Marriage was her step-up and she took it while brothers and sisters remained janitors and such.

The fact that it might be still more common in many parts of the world than the west today, and more openly talked about, doesn't make it either new or shocking. What is perhaps more interesting, if not shocking, are the challenges us is the fragile nature of love as a relationship foundation in a world where the economic order of the sexes is getting turned on it's head.

Here's a good review of "Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage". Some food for thought.

[PattayaBunLover]

For a Ferrari, even I too could be persuaded to do some time "down there"

Edited September 20, 2009 by PattayaBunLover

[Heng]

I'm glad I'm one of those 'more sense than money' types. *...back to cutting coupons so I can keep the grocery bill under 800 Baht this week*

[Valjean]

Hot off the press from Slate and a perspective from the US

"Last year, my boyfriend started a prestigious job halfway across the country, and I moved with him. In the year that we have lived together, I have discovered that he has some shocking habits. He smokes pot every day. On days when he is not working, he will get stoned and watch television all day. He often drinks to excess, which has resulted in him receiving a DWI and spending a night in jail. He also frequents strip clubs. He asked me not to come on a company retreat because he wanted to go to clubs while he was away. However, we still have a lot of fun together, and I know that in his retarded, selfish way, he adores me, and I love the big jerk. We've talked extensively about marriage. I've brought up his behavior, and he says that he's simply enjoying his youth and will settle down when the time comes. (We're almost 30.) Also, he makes a lot of money and is slated to make much more. I know that sounds shallow, but with him I'd be able to live comfortably for the rest of my life. His salary has also allowed me to take a low-paying job I love. Without him, I would have to live with roommates until I'm 45 (a fate worse than death). I'd also have to start all over again in the dating world, which is depressing. Is it spineless to stay with a lovable cad just because he'll provide for me? Or am I morally obligated to go back home and return to working long hours at a job I hate while having to share a bathroom with roommates?"

Second Dear Prudie on the page: http://www.slate.com/id/2228493/

Is it just me that can see with a little editing this would be a great troll post about a relationship in Thailand?

[zzdocxx]

Hey could someone link right to the show? I couldn't find it.

[Chunkton]

No doubt money rules the day here in relationships, particularly between a Thai & Farang. In 5 years living here, I have only met one woman who did not ask for or expect to be given regular money, early in the relationship.

So she asks for it later in the relationship?

The reality is that women love money and the lifestyle it provides. As a general rule the girl sitting in your car will be prettier the more expensive it is. That may explain some of the horrors I see some guys with, it is commensurate with income. Just the way it is, east or west.

[geriatrickid]

Years ago there was a TV show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous with Robin Leach.

I used to recoil in horror at some of the images of conspicuous consumption. This doesn't seem to be any different.

Funny thing is that usually, the wealthy prefer to keep low profiles. Out of the spotlight means less likely to have problems like kidnap & ransom, lawsuits, lifestyle related blackmail etc.

onlycw's observation; Sad lonely girl - having to pay someone to act in love begs the question; Have you ever been to Pattaya?