Why Aussies Come To Thailand

[IanForbes]

[smokie36]

It seems the fish aint biting today Ian!

[FarangBuddha]

That certainly explains it

Koalaland does usually score at or near the top in those UN human-index studies, however, so it can't be all bad.

[garyh]

With the exception of maybe 1 or 2 you will find all those bad things in Thailand also, but then we could add a lot more things that go wrong in Thailand. For example drivers going around bends on the wrong side of the road, internet that barely usually works, and so on, of cause there are many good things in Thailand

[samuibeachcomber]

just about sums it up,cheaper booze,beautiful women and more beautiful women and a insane desire to throw all your money away as quickly as possible on the above and waste the rest.

[Neeranam]

Actually I can't understand why ozzies come as ozzie girls are much nicer IMO as are the beaches.

I went to Surfer's paradise on the Gold coast and 'manly bay in Sydney last year and will definitely go again.

[samuibeachcomber]

Actually I can't understand why ozzies come as ozzie girls are much nicer IMO as are the beaches.

I went to Surfer's paradise on the Gold coast and 'manly bay in Sydney last year and will definitely go again.

you mean people are migrating to australia from thailand for the ladies.

[a2396]

The maps say it all, pretty much. Except you forgot to note overweight women, with attitude, no make-up, and dressed like farm hands or janitors. Also note the things/delights generally unavailable or illegal in Australia, as well as in many other "advanced" countries of the western world.

[JR Texas]

Good maps......... You really should send it to TOT.

I can see some creative ads........using a "Thai scientist."

He uses the maps to explain why people should come to Thailand and not other countries.

Might work.......would be funny as hel_l.

[bkkjames]

Good maps......... You really should send it to TOT.

I can see some creative ads........using a "Thai scientist."

He uses the maps to explain why people should come to Thailand and not other countries.

Might work.......would be funny as hel_l.

Hey JR, you might be interested in the other part of the email that was circulated last week ...

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)

__________________________________________________

> Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

>

> A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

> A:Depends how much you've been drinking.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)

>

> A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)

> A: What did your last slave die of?

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

> A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe ..

> Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not

> ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

>

> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

_________________________________________________

>

> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )

> A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is

> Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )

> A: You are a British politician, right?

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.

> Milk is illegal.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

> A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.

> All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

>

> A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.

> You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)

> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

__________________________________________________

> Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

>

> A: Only at Christmas.

__________________________________________________

>

> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

>

> A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

[Thongkorn]

Maybe the TIlaks are better looking than the ROOs, And the Tilaks jump better.

[IanForbes]

I've got lots of Australian friends and their one common trait is they all love a good laugh and make fun of themselves. They seldom take themselves too seriously. There are exceptions of course, but the Aussies make pretty good mates. They'll take an insult and turn it into a good joke. And, in so doing take all the power away from the one that insulted them.

[condo62]

sea sun sand...cheap eats in fact cheap everything.....mostly a great time...but violence is escalating i think...or is it just me....

[Nignoy]

single aussie males seem to invade thailand in droves, they think as gods answer to women they will have to pay less for female company in patters or patong, so suavely dressed in their string vests , thongs and boardshorts, they roam the kingdom in packs looking for ladyboy virgins, but we noticed a new trend single aussie females chasing male thai crumpet,a scary prospect hard drinking ,hard fighting tattoed jillaroos roaming wild in the kingdom, country queensland is so peaceful, half the population are sat in theaussie bar in patong,

[cognos]

..to "borrow" LOS Aussie Bar door mats with ROOs on them? Or perhaps to lose their own door mat.. Good work Ian

[ballzafire]

Last I heard Aussies are mostly bypassing LoS in favor of Bali.

Can't say I blame them...

Edited October 30, 2009 by ballzafire

[smokie36]

Last I heard Aussies are mostly bypassing LoS in favor of Bali.

Can't say I blame them...

I always found the Balinese to be very tolerant people.

[Tinkelbell]

Love it.

Ian, you had won my vote on this one. I'm the type that believe picture worths a thousand words.

Your drawing said it all.

Well done !

[ozzieovaseas]

Dear Forbsey...

I see this is one of your older offerings but i've noticed a few inconsistencies that i feel need to be ironed out...

I know its not your fault BUT:

1. Steve Irwin is dead...d-e-a-d...got it? We may not have fully appreciated his considerable talents in life BUT he's gone to the big croc farm in the sky and as such he should be regarded as no less than a patron saint..so respect for the dead and all that ok?

2. Man Eating Koalas: Do you think it was by accident they all ended up in Queensland..ONLY??

3. Convicts?: Why give Adelaide all the credit?

4. Backpacker murderers: I thinks someone is jealous they havent got any on Khao San road

5. Giant Rats: Seen bigger ones walking around sukhumvit.

6. Crocodiles and Cyclones: Is it a cruel twist of luck,nature or fate that these are all situated next to the ANGRY NATIVES?

7. Poisonous snakes and stinging jellyfish: Sounds like Nana to me.

8. Sharks: Well i think we can all agree that LOS is the HUB of sharks

9. Sharks with fricken lazers: Here they're known as the BiB.

10.Deranged Gunmen: Let me be the first to tell you that it isnt only the gunmen that are deranged.

That will be all..now back to the threads about Bargirls and sinsod...thanks

[Nignoy]

What most Queenslanders look for in the kingdom , is Wine, women and song, instead of the usual Rum,Bum and gramaphone records available in country queensland

[IanForbes]

Dear Forbsey...

I see this is one of your older offerings but i've noticed a few inconsistencies that i feel need to be ironed out...

I know its not your fault BUT:

I knew all those things, ozzieoverseas. I just like poking fun at the Aussies because they enjoy a good laugh. I was married to a Tasmanian for 20 years and spent many enjoyable times in Australia. I loved Tassie for the size of it and its diversity of wild life. It's close to the same size island that I live on in Canada. Most of my pictures of Australia are on slides and I haven't gotten around to scanning them in digitally.

These are just a few scenes in central Tasamania where I enjoyed fishing for trout.

This nice Brown trout was caught on a tiny stream called the "Break O Day". I always thought that was a lovely name for a trout stream.

This is the Macquarie River valley in central Tasmania

This is the Leven River where I ran into a large, venomous Brown snake while crawling on my hands and knees while sneeking up on a trout. It rose up in front of me and I thought I was dead. But, it didn't strike as I slowly crawled backwards.

This is the brushy little George River where I often camped with my father in law. He was also a fly fisherman and we spent many great days on this stream. At night we would take the children and a big flashlight and go spotting for animals. We saw wombats, kangaroos, wallabies, bushytail possums, achidnas, bush babies, feral goats, native cats, Tasmanian devils and once I'm sure a Tasmanian tiger that are thought to be extinct... but aren't. We also had to watch out for venomous snakes: Brown snakes, Black snakes and Tiger snakes.

[harrry]

Dear Forbsey...

I see this is one of your older offerings but i've noticed a few inconsistencies that i feel need to be ironed out...

I know its not your fault BUT:

. I was married to a Tasmanian for 20 years and spent many enjoyable times in Australia.was also a fly fisherman and we spent many great days on this stream.

Next time you could try marrying an Australian.

[RickBradford]

Wot, no cane toads in QLD map?

Couple of years ago, a pub owner just outisde of Cairns would give you a free beer if you brought in a sack of dead cane toads ... not very elegant and sophisticated drinking, but we likes it that way, ay.

[stevymac]

simple answer is thailand is a billion billion times better than oz!

[ozzieovaseas]

Hey Forbsey...Thanks for the pics of Tas...very nice.I reckon a lot of those creeks/rivers would have been on the verge of running dry until the recent massive spell of rain they had..farmers happy again no doubt.

I also lived in Tamania for quite some time but never got to explore the midlands and great lakes as much as i would have liked..and never got to have a go at fly fishing either,which was a shame.

I would go as far as saying Tas is one of the most beautiful and unique places Oz has got to offer and will definately be heading back at some stage....just to bad its so bloody COLD!

PS. My condolences for being married to a tassie chick..i think id sooner take my chances with a Thai

[IanForbes]

PS. My condolences for being married to a tassie chick..i think id sooner take my chances with a Thai

I don't regret my marriage to the Tasmanian Devil. We had a pretty good marriage as most marriages go, and I probably wouldn't have visited Australia had I not married her. We are still good friends and she's the mother of our two children, but you couldn't pay me enough to take her back. And, she's happy with the guy she's with and wouldn't have me either. Mainland Aussies always like a "go" at the Tasmanians. I've heard all the stories.

I did love Tassie though. The central part is very similar to south island New Zealand on the eastern side of the mountains. There are some VERY wild and rugged places in Tasmania that nobody goes. The Cradle Mountain area is gorgeous. The northern beaches are nice, but the water is a bit cold. It's a lot like our Canadian beaches that only get slightly warm for about 2 weeks a year.

[sceadugenga]

Tasmania is a unique and beautiful part of Australia.

Not only that, they make the best beer as well; something to do with the water.